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The Palin/Johnston Half Hour Comedy Hour

Could we please have a "do over"?

It is now official. The Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston Half Hour Comedy Hour has been canceled. The on-again off-again engagement of the unwed pregnant former teens is off again (for now anyways). These two knuckleheads have now quit their relationship more often than mother Sarah Palin has quit a government position. The announcement was made by Bristol in typical Palin fashion via an interview with the tabloid People magazine. She said, “It’s over. I broke up with him”.  Wonder what she was paid for that quote?

Last week the story broke that the ill fated lovers’ engagement was on the rocks. It was speculated that either Levi impregnated one of Bristol’s friends or that he was still romantically involved with another of Bristol’s friends. Either of those scenarios would be enough to end most marriage plans but this is the crazy Palins that we are talking about. Bristol did not name either of those illicit transgressions as the cause of the break up. Rather, she said,

“The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family. He’s just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.”

The music video referred to is one in which Levi will portray a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it?

There is one person that must be thrilled with the break-up of the tabloid teens. It has been widely reported that Sarah Palin, the half term ex-quitting governor of Alaska, is contemplating a 2012 run for the Presidency. If such is the case, she could do without the continuing saga which would be certain to follow the unification of the Palin Hillbillies and the Johnston Bunch. On the other hand, if Levi is on the outs again, there is nothing to stop him from publishing his revenge inspired tell-all tome about the Palins. Oh, the suspense is delicious.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do song link:


(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”)

Breaking up’s not hard to do

Please drive your truck away from me
You made both of us look damn silly
What’s a poor Palin to do?
Cuz breaking up’s not hard to do

We told the world that we were tight
We even planned our big wedding night
But my friends you had to screw
Breaking up’s not hard to do

They say that breaking up is hard to do
But with Levi, that’s just not true
This time I swear it’s the end
I’d like to pick him up and shove a hockey stick up his rear end

My dad, First Dude, would surely die
If I give Levi another try
And mom, Sarah, would blow a fuse
I’m breaking up again with you

I’ll say that breaking up is hard to do
When I’m asked to be on The View
I’ll say my heart’s on the mend
Then I’ll tell Elisabeth just how Levi knocked up my friend

To Baby Tripp, just say goodbye
I’ll tell him his dad’s another guy
His overnights with you are through
Our breaking up’s not hard to do

Bristol Palin Hits The Tabloids (Again !!!)


Bristol Palin

On its website back in June, MSNBC posted an article which explores recent celebrities and whether they are actual “role models” to younger Americans. In other words, are young people savvy enough to distinguish between true role models and hypocrytes?

MSNBC utilized Bristol Palin as in example:

Recently, Bristol Palin, the 18-year-old daughter of Alaska governor and former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, set out on a campaign to urge young people to practice abstinence. “If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex,” she told People Magazine. “Trust me. Nobody.” She became pregnant by former boyfriend Levi Johnston and gave birth to a son in late December.

Strangely however, the MSNBC article omitted any mention of the young Palin’s previous on-air declaration on the Fox network, to wit:

I think abstinence is … I don’t know how to put it … everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it’s not realistic at all. (emphasis added)

Bristol’s most recent foray into the world of tabloid magazines is this week’s issue of  In Touch. The cover story features both Bristol and her mother, Sarah Palin and is titled, “We’re Glad We Chose Life”. The most curious quote of Bristol’s is,

I’m not going to have sex until I’m married. I can guarantee it.

Jeesh, talk about closing the barn door after the horse has gone!

Inasmuch as Ms. Palin is now a spokesperson (along with Britney Spears the twice divorced unwed mother) for the Candies (shoe company) Foundation and its program to prevent teen pregnancy, we thought a song parody was in order…

I Want Candy song link:


(sung to the Bow Wow Wow song “I Want Candy”)

I know a girl who’ll take some heat
Candies pays this gal to speak
She’s got a mother that is a liar
Sarah sucks like a vampire

She wears Candies
She wears Candies

Bristol’s preachin’ all over town
She should shut-up and sit down
She don’t know squat about abstinence
She’s got a big case of arrogance

She wears Candies
She wears Candies

(musical interlude)

Bristol is a gal that should know better
She should be sporting a scarlet letter
She left school cuz she was failin’
Just like almost every Palin

She wears Candies
She wears Candies
She wears Candies
She wears Candies

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey