Sarah Palin: Please Do Us A Favor And Run For President

Loyal Rocketeer NSWFM sent us a link to a new article about Sarah Palin which has been posted on the New York Times website. The full article is well worth reading. Here are some of our favorite excerpts:

Regarding her personal advisers: “the adhesive is a personal devotion to Palin rather than the furtherance of her political career.”

Wow, her advisers sound like members of a religious cult.

Regarding the media: “I asked her if by avoiding the national press, she didn’t bear at least some responsibility for the way the public viewed her. “I’m on television nearly every single day with reporters,” she shot back. “Now granted, that’s mainly through my job at Fox News, and I’m very proud to be associated with them, but I’m not avoiding anything or anybody. I’m on Facebook and Twitter. I’m out there. I want to talk about my record, though.” Palin told me that because of the media’s unfairness toward her, “I fear for our democracy.” She cited a recent Anchorage Daily News article that commented on her casual manner of dress at a rally for Joe Miller, as well as a Politico headline that used the word “drama” for an item about Representative Michele Bachmann’s quest for a Republican leadership position. Palin viewed these references as sexist – but also, she said, as “distractions.” Purposefully distracting, I asked, or just simplistic? “How can it be simplistic?” she scoffed. “They’re the elite,” she said sarcastically of news organizations. “They know much more than I know and other people like me! So, no. They know just what they’re doing.” All of this in addition to the fact that Palin, a former journalism major and sportscaster, happens to be a member of the media herself: a salaried Fox News contributor, the star of her own television series and a best-selling author whose second book, “America by Heart,” will be released by HarperCollins this week with a first printing of 1 million copies and her pick of promotional slots offered up by her adversaries in the press.”

Yikes, because of the media she “fears for our democracy”? Crazy stuff there. She was correct however, when she said, “I’m out there”.

Regarding the content on her Facebook posts and Twitter tweets: “Because Palin often works 20-hour days, so does rebecca Mansour, because “the governor reads, checks and approves everything that’s under her name.”

That seems to mean that Sarah Palin can no longer “pass the buck” on the crazy stuff that flies from her social networking devices.

Finally, regarding her plans to run for President: “I am,” Sarah Palin told me the next day when I asked her if she was already weighing a run for president. “I’m engaged in the internal deliberations candidly, and having that discussion with my family, because my family is the most important consideration here.” Palin went on to say that there weren’t meaningful differences in policy among the field of G.O.P. hopefuls “but that in fact there’s more to the presidency than that” and that her decision would involve evaluating whether she could bring unique qualities to the table.”

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you, Sarah. Trust us when we say that the whole country (and many other countries which you have never heard of) wants you to run for President of the United States. This great nation of ours has suffered through 4 long years of depression as the result of the absence of a true buffoon to laugh at. Please help us by participating in primary debates and appearances on such serious shows as “Meet The Press” and “Face The Nation”. Please do us all a favor and begin campaigning immediately. Pretty Please!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxuThNgl3YA

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run