Bristol Palin Tries Abstinence… Again ???

You know that saying, “You can never go home”? Apparently Bristol Palin does not. The former unmarried pregnant teen daughter of the former half-term ex-quitting Governor of Alaska has vowed to abstain from sex until she and her oil-pipeline worker boyfriend have tied the knot, reports The New York Daily News. the Palin said in an interview with In Touch magazine:

“Gino and I are going to wait until marriage. I’m doing what’s best for me. It’s between me and God, and I know it’s right.”

What a joke! sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. Palins and abstinence go together like Herman Cain and monogamy. Besides, hasn’t the abstinence door already been slammed shut on Bristol?

Mama Grizzly, Sarah Palin has been denouncing sex education and contraception since she was disastrously thrust upon the American people by John McCain. She has been one of the nation’s foremost advocates of abstinence-only education. Of course Sarah Palin did not personally practice abstinence. It would appear that oldest son Track was conceived prior to her wedding on August 29, 1988 inasmuch as he was born on April 20, 1989.

The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska was also apparently not a very good teacher when it came to instilling the virtues of abstinence on her own children either. First, teen daughter Bristol gave birth out of wedlock. She claims that her “virginity was stolen” (rape?) by her boyfriend one night while she got drunk while on a camping trip. The veracity of that statement is called into question however, inasmuch as Bristol continued to have sex with the same boy for a long time after that. Now we have eldest son Track who also seems to have violated the abstinence only rule. Track was married May 2011, yet wife gave birth to a baby girl  in August 2011.

This brings us back to Bristol Palin who has thrust herself, in true Palin fashion, into the media spotlight once again by launching yet another Palin family reality television series (see “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” and “Dancing With The Stars”). This time it’s “Life’s a Tripp”, in which the single mother runs around aimlessly with her toddler. But really, aren’t there a million 21 year old single mothers doing the same thing? Do we really need a reality television show on the subject?

All of this is as ridiculous as when Bristol Palin became an abstinence-only spokesperson for the “dress like a teen-ho” company known as Candies a few years ago. Palin belonged to the Candies Foundation who’s stated mission is “to educate America’s youth about the devastating consequences of teenage pregnancy”. How’s that for a mixed message between product and message? Here are examples of some wholesome Candies advertisements:

 

Who could be a better role model for abstinence than Bristol Palin, an unwed 21 year old mother? Oh, you can just taste the hypocrisy!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

I Want Candy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMICD3aMZpw

SHE WEARS CANDIES

(sung to the Bow Wow Wow song “I Want Candy”)

I know a girl who’ll take some heat
Candies pays this gal to speak
She’s got a mother that is a liar
Sarah sucks like a vampire

She wears Candies
She wears Candies

Bristol’s preachin’ all over town
She should shut-up and sit down
She don’t know squat about abstinence
She’s got a big case of arrogance

She wears Candies
She wears Candies
Yeah

(musical interlude)

Bristol is a gal that should know better
She should be sporting a scarlet letter
She left school cuz she was failin’
Just like almost every Palin

She wears Candies
She wears Candies
She wears Candies
She wears Candies

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey