Daily Archives: June 22, 2012

Scott (Senator-Centerfold) Brown Gets A Royal Flush

We already knew that Massachusetts’ Teapublican Senator Scott Brown is an Emperor with no clothes (see his nude centerfold in Cosmopolitan magazine). What we did not know however, is that he alleges that he pals around with other royalty to boot! Whether or not these other royals shed their own robes when in Scott Brown’s company is still open to conjecture.

Scott Brown must be truly worried about his upcoming election in November. He appears to realize that not only is his Democratic opponent (and architect of the Consumer financial Protection Agency) out-raising him in campaign donations, but Elizabeth Warren is also winning the war of framing the campaign on the actual issues. Rather than resort to character assassination as Brown has done by alleging that Warren is not of Native American descent as she claims her parents told her, Warren has taken the fight to Brown by revealing that his Senate votes prove that he is indebted to the Wall Street bankers who provide the vast majority of his donations and not to the working/middle class who he pretends to represent.

Consequently, Scott Brown is now attempting to portray himself as a very important and powerful Senator during his campaign for the most highly anticipated Congressional race in the nation (his opponent has hauled in more than any of the 1,613 candidates officially running for Congress) . This is ridiculous of course, because Brown is only a junior Senator with little more than 2 years tenure. In fact, the Republican party leadership thinks so little of Brown that shortly after he was elected in a special election in 2010 following the death of Ted Kennedy, they evicted Brown out of Kennedy’s primo and spacious office space to a tiny dank and dark office in the bowels of the Senate. Brown has also lost favor with rank and file Republican Senators and conservative voters for his unreliability in voting the party line.

But even if his own Republican leadership insists that Brown is ineffectual and unreliable, Brown is hearing none of it. He sees himself in an entirely more flattering light. Indeed, Scott Brown believes that he is a power-broker who influences world events by caucusing with the leaders of the world. Just this week he appeared as a guest on Boston talk radio station WTTK-FM and told this whopper of a tale:

“Each and every day that I’ve been a United States Senator, I’ve been discussing issues, meeting on issues, in secret meetings and with kings and queens and prime ministers and business leaders and military leaders, talking, voting, working on issues every single day.” (Here is the audio: http://www.hark.com/clips/yqmgpwmfmz-kingsandqueens)

Immediately after the interview aired, Massachusetts Democratic Party Chairman John Walsh demanded a list of the Kings and Queens Brown claims to have met with since he took office, reports the Boston Herald. Then, just a few hours after the radio interview, Brown spokesman Colin Reed said the Senator misspoke. Fact is, Scott Brown has not and is not meeting with any Kings and Queens in double-secret meetings or even in the open for that matter.

Many people would refer to Scott Brown’s royal negotiations statement as a lie. However, maybe there is another explanation. As Brian McGrory of The Boston Globe says, maybe Scott Brown is simply delusional. McGrory ponders,

“Scott Brown understands that the Burger King is just a restaurant name, right — not an actual person? And when he sneaks off to the Dairy Queen for an Oreo Blizzard, that doesn’t actually count as a secret meeting with royalty?…Be worried about Senator Brown. Be very worried. It looks like he’s becoming delusional, starting to believe — and worse, trying to convince others — that he’s far more important than any junior senator has ever been.”

To make matters even worse for Scott Brown, The Huffington Post has just revealed that “Senator Centerfold” has been recorded on at least 5 separate occasions falsely saying that he has “secret” meetings with Kings and Queens. Let’s go to the video:

Looks like Senator Scott Brown has been caught with his pants down yet again.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Centerfold song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA1ykK1mhfo

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

Come on!

Does Scott walk? Does Brown talk?
Does he lie and cheat?
More devil than an angel
Always dealing in deceit

Scott’s as light as snowflakes
No credits to his name
He’s just a fallen angel
He’s also short one brain

Years go by I’m lookin’ through a girly magazine
And there’s my hometown Brownie on the pages in-between

CHORUS:
My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Brownie is the centerfold

Selling votes under his desk
Wall Street boys thinkin’, Scott Brown’s the best
My oh my, Scott earns their pay
No doubt he is their guy

Brown’s now shakin’ in his shoes
Whenever he’s jeered on nightly news
Like the whole damn G.O.P.
Scott Brown’s a pack of lies

They’re spineless, weak bed-wetters
Tea Baggers are their crutch
Scott Brown was their Queen for a Day
Now these days… not so much

CHORUS
My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Brownie is the centerfold

(Burger King and Dairy Queen break)

Now listen…
It’s okay I understand
Scott Brown is not a manly man
I hope that when Scott Brown is gone
I’ll see him when his clothes are on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take his truck and drive it
He’ll take it to a motel room
And take ’em off in private

Although Scott Brown is tanned and ripped
He must regret that day he stripped
Oh no, he can’t deny it
Oh yea, it’s gonna be “goodbye” yet

CHORUS:
My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Scott Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold
My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold

Mitt(wit) Romney vs. GOP Governors vs. Mitt(wit) Romney (Part II)

Exactly one week ago we wrote about the dilemma facing Mitt Romney and Republican Governors seeking re-election and we now have some brand new breaking news. The big problem facing these folks is that Romney wants to pretend that the economies of all states are suffering and getting worse because of President Obama’s policies. On the other hand, the Republican Governors from Ohio, Iowa, Florida and Virginia want to capitalize on their states’ economic progress so as to grab credit and votes in the next election. These Governors would also like to strongly endorse Mitt Romney, but they are reluctant to do so as long as Romney continues to bash their states.

Here is what we wrote last week:

The 2012 Republican Circular Firing Squad has been convened. All present say, “Aye”!

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and Republican Governors seeking re-election this fall have a dilemma to overcome. Romney of course, is making the economy the number one issue in his campaign against incumbent President Barack Obama. In short, his argument  to the American people (misinformed as it may be) is: “The economy is getting worse. You are suffering. It is Obama’s fault.” Romney feels that if the American electorate buys into that perception, then he will be elected as the economy’s savior. To convince voters that what he says is true, Romney must point out how each state is failing economically.

Problem is, that sort of argument directly attacks Republican Governors seeking re-election. Those Governors must convince the same state voters that they are doing well ,or at least much better than in other states . These GOP Governors must downplay high unemployment numbers in some places while celebrating low (relative to the national average) unemployment numbers as the result of economic progress in their home states. Hence, Republican Governors must proclaim that Mitt Romney is wrong.

Take a look at the State of Ohio as an example. Thinkprogress.org reports:

During a speech in Ohio today, 2012 GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney decried the economy, claiming, ‘almost everything the president has done has made it harder for entrepreneurs to start a business, has made it less likely for businesses like this [one in Ohio] to hire more people.’ However, led by the revival of the American auto industry, Ohio’s unemployment rate has been coming down, from about 11 percent in 2009 to just above 7 percent today.”

Of course, the aforementioned revival of the auto industry is a direct result of President Obama’s auto manufacturer bailout which Romney opposed. Also, Romney’s statement puts Ohio Governor John Kasich in an unenviable position. Kasich wants to support Romney and his Republican Party in the Presidential election, but he also wants to capitalize on the relatively recent and optimistic prospects of Ohio’s economy. Consequently, while Romney comes to Ohio and says businesses in the state cannot hire people for new jobs because of Obama’s policies, Kasich is simultaneously touting the fact that since 2010, Ohio went from being the third-worst job creator to one of the top job creators in the nation. In fact, 850,000 auto manufacturing jobs have been added to Ohio’s economy since the auto bailout in 2009. In his 2012 State of the state Address, Kasich said,

“A year ago, Ohio ranked 48 in job creation. We trailed only Michigan and California. Michigan, who has the automotive industry, and California is filled with a bunch of whack-a-doodles. Who would have thought we would have been third worst? Ohio is now ranked No. 1 as job creator in the Midwest and No. 9 in the nation.”


Iowa is another state where Mitt Romney and the Governor are at odds. The Wall Street Journal reports, “When Mr. Romney traveled to Iowa last month, his campaign released a Web ad highlighting Iowans who were struggling to find work—in a state with a 5.1% jobless rate, the seventh lowest in the U.S.”

Iowa’s Republican Governor, Terry Branstad, was not impressed with Romney’s characterization of his state. The Wall Street Journal article says, “Branstad, is part of a contingent of GOP governors and party elders urging Mr. Romney to re-tailor his message by highlighting the success stories under way in a half-dozen GOP-led states, even if it means diluting his gloomier national pitch.” Branstad said, “My state is seeing significant growth. We are doing very well.”

Florida’s Republican Governor (and Vote Purger in Chief) Rick Scott echoes Branstad’s and Kasich’s sentiments. Thinkprogress.org reported in May 2012 that Scott has said, ” Today’s unemployment report adds to the series of encouraging indicators that Florida’s economy is steadily moving in the right direction. With 243,594 job openings listed by various help-wanted websites and our unemployment rate down 2.2 points to 8.7%, more Floridians are finding new jobs throughout the Sunshine State.”

Virginia’s Republican Governor, Bob McDonnell, has not only extolled his states positive economic conditions, but he has also even given some credit to Democrats. Indeed, McDonnell’s own website says,

“Virginia’s unemployment rate has plunged 23% since January 2010, down to 5.6% in March 2012, and the private sector job-creators are driving that success. Virginia is growing strong again. Through a bipartisan effort in Richmond, and the hard-work, innovation and dedication of the people of Virginia, our economy is recovering. There is a lot to celebrate in our Commonwealth. With unemployment at over a 3-year low, agricultural exports at a record high, and thousands of Virginians working again, this is a great time to recognize all the great things happening in our tremendous Commonwealth. Virginians have written an incredible story; this ad tells it. Together, we are growing strong again.”

All in all, this cross-messaging by Mitt Romney (as well as his flip-flops) and a slew of Republican Governors may complicate matters for all of them as the November elections approach.

UPDATE:

More fuel has just been added to the Romney/GOP Governors battle. Today, TalkingPointsMemo.com reports that the Romney campaign has, in fact, been accused of concocting an alleged scheme to keep good economic news about Florida under wraps. The report states:

Late Wednesday night and into Thursday came the news that the campaign asked Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R) to stop talking up economic improvements in his state because of a view among Team Romney that good news about the economy from a swing-state Republican governor would damage their cause and potentially boost Obama. The sources behind the story: ‘Two people familiar with the matter.‘”

Will the embattled Governor Scott follow Romney’s marching orders? Don’t count on it if Scott wants to be re-elected in the Sunshine State.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFI-hhndCek

THE ROMNEY HILLBILLY

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitt
A rich profiteer who’s been known to pitch a fit.
Unlike Scott Brown he won’t model in the nude,
He likes to run for office but he doesn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Hates Polls,    Sanity.

Well the one thing we know is Mitt’s a millionaire,
Pinstriped suits and plastic molded hair.
Inside the beltway is the place he wants to be,
So he strapped his dog on top and drove down to D.C.

Washington that is,   Lobbyists,    Big black cars.

(flip-flop break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Mitt and all his friends,
He will lose this year’s election and that will be his end
He never will return again cuz of the Tea Party,
They much prefer Santorum and his beastiality.

Man on dog, that is,   Ring a bell?,    Take your pants off.

Don’t come back now, y’hear?