Scott (Senator-Centerfold) Brown Gets A Royal Flush

We already knew that Massachusetts’ Teapublican Senator Scott Brown is an Emperor with no clothes (see his nude centerfold in Cosmopolitan magazine). What we did not know however, is that he alleges that he pals around with other royalty to boot! Whether or not these other royals shed their own robes when in Scott Brown’s company is still open to conjecture.

Scott Brown must be truly worried about his upcoming election in November. He appears to realize that not only is his Democratic opponent (and architect of the Consumer financial Protection Agency) out-raising him in campaign donations, but Elizabeth Warren is also winning the war of framing the campaign on the actual issues. Rather than resort to character assassination as Brown has done by alleging that Warren is not of Native American descent as she claims her parents told her, Warren has taken the fight to Brown by revealing that his Senate votes prove that he is indebted to the Wall Street bankers who provide the vast majority of his donations and not to the working/middle class who he pretends to represent.

Consequently, Scott Brown is now attempting to portray himself as a very important and powerful Senator during his campaign for the most highly anticipated Congressional race in the nation (his opponent has hauled in more than any of the 1,613 candidates officially running for Congress) . This is ridiculous of course, because Brown is only a junior Senator with little more than 2 years tenure. In fact, the Republican party leadership thinks so little of Brown that shortly after he was elected in a special election in 2010 following the death of Ted Kennedy, they evicted Brown out of Kennedy’s primo and spacious office space to a tiny dank and dark office in the bowels of the Senate. Brown has also lost favor with rank and file Republican Senators and conservative voters for his unreliability in voting the party line.

But even if his own Republican leadership insists that Brown is ineffectual and unreliable, Brown is hearing none of it. He sees himself in an entirely more flattering light. Indeed, Scott Brown believes that he is a power-broker who influences world events by caucusing with the leaders of the world. Just this week he appeared as a guest on Boston talk radio station WTTK-FM and told this whopper of a tale:

“Each and every day that I’ve been a United States Senator, I’ve been discussing issues, meeting on issues, in secret meetings and with kings and queens and prime ministers and business leaders and military leaders, talking, voting, working on issues every single day.” (Here is the audio: http://www.hark.com/clips/yqmgpwmfmz-kingsandqueens)

Immediately after the interview aired, Massachusetts Democratic Party Chairman John Walsh demanded a list of the Kings and Queens Brown claims to have met with since he took office, reports the Boston Herald. Then, just a few hours after the radio interview, Brown spokesman Colin Reed said the Senator misspoke. Fact is, Scott Brown has not and is not meeting with any Kings and Queens in double-secret meetings or even in the open for that matter.

Many people would refer to Scott Brown’s royal negotiations statement as a lie. However, maybe there is another explanation. As Brian McGrory of The Boston Globe says, maybe Scott Brown is simply delusional. McGrory ponders,

“Scott Brown understands that the Burger King is just a restaurant name, right — not an actual person? And when he sneaks off to the Dairy Queen for an Oreo Blizzard, that doesn’t actually count as a secret meeting with royalty?…Be worried about Senator Brown. Be very worried. It looks like he’s becoming delusional, starting to believe — and worse, trying to convince others — that he’s far more important than any junior senator has ever been.”

To make matters even worse for Scott Brown, The Huffington Post has just revealed that “Senator Centerfold” has been recorded on at least 5 separate occasions falsely saying that he has “secret” meetings with Kings and Queens. Let’s go to the video:

Looks like Senator Scott Brown has been caught with his pants down yet again.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Centerfold song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA1ykK1mhfo

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

Come on!

Does Scott walk? Does Brown talk?
Does he lie and cheat?
More devil than an angel
Always dealing in deceit

Scott’s as light as snowflakes
No credits to his name
He’s just a fallen angel
He’s also short one brain

Years go by I’m lookin’ through a girly magazine
And there’s my hometown Brownie on the pages in-between

CHORUS:
My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Brownie is the centerfold

Selling votes under his desk
Wall Street boys thinkin’, Scott Brown’s the best
My oh my, Scott earns their pay
No doubt he is their guy

Brown’s now shakin’ in his shoes
Whenever he’s jeered on nightly news
Like the whole damn G.O.P.
Scott Brown’s a pack of lies

They’re spineless, weak bed-wetters
Tea Baggers are their crutch
Scott Brown was their Queen for a Day
Now these days… not so much

CHORUS
My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Brownie is the centerfold

(Burger King and Dairy Queen break)

Now listen…
It’s okay I understand
Scott Brown is not a manly man
I hope that when Scott Brown is gone
I’ll see him when his clothes are on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take his truck and drive it
He’ll take it to a motel room
And take ’em off in private

Although Scott Brown is tanned and ripped
He must regret that day he stripped
Oh no, he can’t deny it
Oh yea, it’s gonna be “goodbye” yet

CHORUS:
My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Scott Brownie is the centerfold

My blood runs cold
Scott’s mammaries are toned and bold
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold
My blood runs cold
Scott’s history has now been told
Scott Brownie is the centerfold
Brownie is the centerfold