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The Upside Down World Of Sarah Palin

Coming soon to a theatre near you!!!

One has to wonder if Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska lives in an alternate universe. A place where white is black, up is down and truths are lies. The most recent example of Palin’s bizzaro existence was revealed through last week’s bevy of FaceBook postings and Twitter tweets.

Palin took to those sophomoric forms of communication to….are you ready for this?….blame the environmentalists for the Gulf oil spill disaster. Consider Sarah’s twisted logic for a moment. She believes that the people who desire to protect the earth and its delicate ecosystem are to blame for the oil rig disaster that is polluting the ocean and southern shoreline while killing unknown numbers of animals. Utter nonsense of course, but what can you expect from the confused woman that labeled living wills and durable powers of attorney as “death panels”?

Let’s take a look at her FaceBook rantings, shall we?

Extreme deep water drilling is not the preferred choice to meet our country’s energy needs, but your protests and lawsuits and lies about onshore and shallow water drilling have locked up safer areas. It’s catching up with you. The tragic, unprecedented deep water Gulf oil spill proves it.

and
Radical environmentalists: you are damaging the planet with your efforts to lock up safer drilling areas. There’s nothing clean and green about your misguided, nonsensical radicalism, and Americans are on to you as we question your true motives.

So let’s figure this out. By protesting against on-shore oil drilling in such places as ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge), the environmentalists have forced the nice oil companies to drill in deep water. Problem is, the environmentalists are also against deep water drilling. Either Sarah Palin is not aware of that or she conveniently left that fact out of her postings in an attempt to mislead her followers. Neither situation reflects kindly on Lil Ms. Drill Baby, Drill.

Just a little Sarah Palin dittie to start your day. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Born In The USA song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oVzHm_S0-A

BORN IN GOOD OLD AK

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song, “Born In The U.S.A.”)

Born in an Idaho town
When my parents looked at me they could only frown
My dad he had a job that he sure did hate
So he loaded up the truck and we left the state

I wish I was…

(chorus)
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

We moved to the town of Wasilla
A bland place sort of like vanilla
I became a man killer
A temperament like Godzilla

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I was soon running for the VP
John McCain said I was so “mavericky”
He bought me shoes and a real fine dress
Then he kicked me straight off the “Straight Talk Express”

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I went back to state 49
Acted as if the whole place was mine
I did bitch, I did whine
Committed more than one ethics crime
I did the acts but I won’t serve the time

Up on the North Slope where the oil does flow
I cut some deals oughta make me some dough
Next thing I did write a book
You can make a lot of dough when you’re a crook

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
I’m a lipstick wearin’ pig in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
I’m a pocket hockey momma in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
(fading)

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Sarah Palin: The Facebook Schnook Or The Quitter On Twitter?

Immanuel Kant, a philosopher of the theory of knowledge was once quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune as having said, “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.” Did we ever mention that Sarah Palin has poor organizational skills?

The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska  demonstrated to us once again last Friday evening that she finds no correlation between science, life, organization and wisdom. She utilized Facebook, her second favorite means of transmitting ideas to oppose the Senate Democrats’ intention to hold a Saturday vote on whether to proceed with debate on its version of the health care reform bill. By the way, Ms. Quittypants’ first favorite means of transmitting ideas is Twitter because her ideas can usually be expressed in much less than that format’s 140 character restriction. On Facebook she said,

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is pushing for yet another weekend vote (commonplace now for the party of “transparency”) because he knows that the American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over,

Okay, where to begin? How does holding a weekend vote somehow show a lack of “transparency”? Is the vote not open and public? Is there a “cone of silence” that somehow descends upon the Capitol on Saturday? Is there a problem with trying to get a vote in before the process is delayed further by this week’s Thanksgiving recess? Has Palin ever criticized the countless times that the previous Republican majority held weekend votes?

Secondly, although nearly every single non-partisan poll shows that a majority of Americans are in favor of health care reform, Palin says that the “American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over.” Does having a Saturday vote simply upon the matter of whether or not to proceed with debate on the content of the proposed bill somehow limit the amount of time that the American people will have to consider the content of the bill? Isn’t it during the actual debate of the substantive provisions of the bill that the American people will learn more about its content? That’s all very nice dear Sarah, but please run along now while the nice senators are trying to have an adult conversation on health care reform.

Of course after having utilized Facebook, the “Alaska Disaster” could not resist the urge to tweet away. Please consider this gem of a Twitter post that she authored on Saturday, the day of the vote,

Thot I’d stick w tour news on Twitter but can’t help digress: Call senators! Tell ’em KILL THE BILL tonite;horrible govt healthcare takeover.Senate healthcare takeover debate begins in an hour. Pls call senators if u care about another 1/6th of our economy swallowed up by Big Govt

Proof positive of the power of a University of Idaho journalism degree. Will Palin ever realize that should she choose to pursue elective office in the future, these inane tweets will come back to haunt her? Oh well, the rest of us can at least remain assured that certain time-tested scientific facts remain intact. The theory that everything that Sarah Palin touches will in turn transform itself into manure has held true once again. The Senate vote to proceed with debate on the health care reform bill of course, passed by a filibuster-proof 60 to 40 vote. Good work Sarah. You may not believe in or understand science, but time and again you prove it correct.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Say A Little Prayer For You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLCRUWCETK4

I SAY A WITCH-MASS PRAYER FOR YOU

sung to the Dionne Warwick song “I Say A Little Prayer For You ”

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a witch-mass prayer for Todd
While combing my hair now,
And choosing which specs to wear now
I’m casting out demons for God

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

I look at my new house
So glad the First Dude is my spouse
He helped a lot with Mike Wooten
We made love on state time
Except when it was headache time
Or when I would deal with Putin

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

Sarah Palin: The Quitter On Twitter

palin_twitter0

Have no fear, Palinbots. Your fearless leader, the ex-quitting former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin will soon be back on Twitter. Tweets will be flying from her fingertips at breakneck speed as her book hawking tour takes her from one tiny rural hamlet to the next. Presumably Ms. Quittypants feels that she will be so inundated with requested book signings from her uneducated and illiterate followers that she will be unable to post more lengthy and thoroughly researched Facebook entries. Besides, most of Palin’s followers find it difficult enough to try to slog through Twitter’s 140 character postings let alone try to read something more lengthy on Facebook. Consequently, for both Sarah Palin and her followers it is a win-win situation.

Please enjoy today’s Twitter inspired song parody. As usual, don’t forget to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Rockin’ Robin song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2RPWZ6qKc&feature=related

ROCKIN’ PALIN

(sung to the Jackson 5 song “Rockin’ Robin”)

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Every little message, every cryptic thing
Every little word from the ding-a-ling
She threw in the towel, it’s time to go
Flappin’ her lips every so and so

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

(musical interlude)

Petty little Palin that we just can’t stand
Tells her SarahPAC ers to fork out ten grand
She flirted with the devil and lost her soul
Payin’ legal bills through Kristan Cole

She sucks like a freeze pop all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Pretty little Palin just can’t understand
No one likes a beggar holding out her hand
Finding new employment is her next big goal
Her next job is with a stage-mounted pole

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

Sarah Palin: “Will Work For Food”

palin-quits-again

The fame and fortune that she expected after quitting her job as Governor of Alaska have thus far eluded Sarah Palin. The prolific speaking engagements have been few and far between primarily because only the one in Hong Kong was a paying gig. All of the others were non-paying engagements most of which, not unexpectedly, Palin did not attend. Todd “The First Dude” Palin also recently quit his job with oil producer British Petroleum. Quitting seems to be a Palin family trait. Additionally, the release date of Sarah Palin’s ghostwritten memoir has been moved up from Spring 2010 to November 2009. Could it be that she needs the money now and wants to cash in on Christmas gift sales?

Sarah Palin’s most recent cry for pay has come in the form of a newly created LinkedIn posting. CNN reports that Palin has placed her resume on the “Facebook for professionals”, a social media site that displays people’s resumes and allows for business networking for members to find a job. Along with her posted resume that includes the jobs that she has quit, Palin also states on the site that she is interested in…

“Job inquiries, expertise requests, business deals, reference requests, and getting back in touch.”

Apparently Palin did not receive the job nibbles she expected from her postings on Monster.com, Facebook and Twitter, so now she is shopping her resume on this more upscale site. It is interesting to contemplate just exactly what type of “expertise requests” she is qualified to fulfill and what “business deals” she is interested in. Most fascinating of all however, is Palin’s interest in “getting back in touch.” That is particularly humorous coming from the woman who told Katie Couric during a nationally televised interview, “I’ll try to find ya some and I’ll bring them to ya” when she was asked to provide specific examples of John McCain seeking tighter regulations on the financial industry. As we all know, Palin never did “get back in touch” with Couric on that matter. Let’s watch her stammering response just for laughs.

What is the next tactic to be used by Sarah Palin in her search for employment, sandwich boards?

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Taking Care Of Business song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSlZi01Hm-8&feature=related

DRUMMING UP SOME BUSINESS

(sung to the Bachman, Turner Overdrive song, “Taking Care of Business”)

She gets up every morning
To hell with global warming
As she hums the new Lynnrockets’ dittie
She’s a nervous wreck because
Ol’ Michael Wooten’s still a fuzz
She’s a joke in Wasilla City

And if her brain’s online
She might feature in prime time
The exposure just might get her some pay
Sarah Palin is annoyed
That she is now unemployed
Public speaking was not her pay day

So she’ll be…
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time
Look out

If it were as easy as fishin’
She could be a beautician
And color your hair brown or yellow
She could work down at the bar
No need to wear a bra
She’d be loved by all those drunk red-neck fellows
The election was not won
Sarah Palin has no fun
Never should have happened that way
Republicans now avoid
This gal that’s unemployed
They keep pushing her further away

So she’ll be…
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time
Look out

(musical interlude)

Taking care of her business
She needs pay
Any ol’ way

She wakes up every morning
Her prospects are not warming
She won’t get too far on being pretty
Maybe the Lord up above
Will give Sarah Palin a shove
Right now she is someone to pity

And if she trains her mind
Joe The Plumber might be kind
And give her a position someday
Palin would be overjoyed
If she was not unemployed
She’d be snaking toilets everyday

So she’ll be…
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time

Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time, Wooh

Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Sarah’s drumming up some business
She’ll be drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business