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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 74

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: The Washington Post reported this week that Wisconsin Democrats have already collected over 45% of the signatures required to hold recall elections for eight GOP state senators who voted in favor of the bill to roll back union collective bargaining rights. It is quite evident that Governor Walker and the state republicans have awakened the sleeping bear. Word is, it is really hungry.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Wisconsin, Think Progress reports Police estimated up to 100,000 people turned out in Madison, WI last Saturday to protest Gov. Scott Walker’s (R) assault on unions, making it bigger than any protests the city has ever witnessed. More noteworthy however, is that at 85,000-100,000, it was bigger than the biggest Tea Party protest, the September 12, 2009 rally in Washington, D.C., which turned out only an estimated 60,000-70,000. So, the next time some Tea Bagger tells you that the Tea Party is representative of the American people, enlighten him/her with that statistic.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s interesting factoid is that an estimated 2,405 Americans have been shot and killed since the January 8, 2011 Tucson massacre, adding to the grim toll of 400,000 felled by guns since Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated in 1968. (The estimate of gun murders and accidental deaths is based on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data.). By the way, none of the 18 mass shootings since May 2007 was stopped by a legal-handgun carrier. How is that for sane gun regulation policy in the United States?

THIS JUST IN: New Hampshire‘s state motto is “Live Free or Die”. Unfortunately, the Republican majority in the state to my immediate north has chosen to truly activate the second half of the state motto. ThinkProgress. com reports “the New Hampshire House approved a tax cut on cigarettes even while cutting funding for education, and health care. The ten cent tax cut bucks a national trend of raising taxes on tobacco since “forever” and, according to multiple studies, could lead to a 6.6 percent increase in respiratory cancer deaths.”

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of crazy states. This week Utah named the John M. Browning-designed M1911 pistol as a state symbol, becoming the first state in the nation to have a gun as an official symbol. How’s that for toning down violent rhetoric? The confused state already had 24 other “symbols”? This begs the question, what’s next? Perhaps the polygamous compound?

THIS JUST IN: Since we are on the topic of guns, you might be interested in this list of 4 year colleges that allow students to carry guns on campus: Colorado State University, Dixie State College of Utah, Southern Utah University, University of Utah, Utah State University, Utah Valley University, Weber State University (Utah), College of Eastern Utah and Snow College (Utah). The students of Utah sure love patriotically displaying the state symbol!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “This Sure Sounds A Little Creepy” features former White House correspondent Helen Thomas who will be appearing in the pages of next month’s Playboy Magazine. Actually, the magazine will only feature an interview with Ms. Thomas and not a centerfold. Nevertheless, it is always a bit creepy whenever Helen Thomas and Playboy Magazine are mentioned in the same sentence.

THIS JUST IN: Remember Sarah Palin’s “Mama Grizzly” Nikki Haley who was elected as governor of South Carolina last November? Well, NetworkedBlogs.com informs us that she is having a difficult time governing her state. She unveiled a plan to personally grade state legislators. Her misguided effort was criticized as an arrogant attempt to pressure elected leaders, who work for their constituents and are not accountable to anyone else including the Governor. Haley then faced some personal embarrassment of a financial nature when it was revealed that while she was still a state representative, she allegedly lied on a job application in order to get a larger pay-check from Lexington Medical Center. She stated she made over $100,000 in 2007, when her federal tax form showed her income at only $22,000.  Haley claims someone else must have filled out the form.  The mysterious someone just happened to know her social security number, computer password and sign-in, job history, past supervisors, education, and other personal details. Sarah Palin’s “Mama Grizzlies” all seem to have the same sketchy backgrounds as does Palin.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourself with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical Nikki Haley song parody.

Rikki, Don’t Lose That Number song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbIIwH9VsjM

NIKKI, JUST CHOOSE TO BLUNDER

(sung to the Steely Dan song “Nikki, Don’t Lose That Number”)

There’s no believin’ what you say
Looks like your little wild time has just begun
I guess you kind of snared yourself, yet you still run
But your campaign now falls apart

Nikki, just choose to blunder
Though you wanna blame somebody else
We saw those email letters, screwed yourself
Nikki, just choose to blunder
Your election is now blown
Exposed by all those email letters
You’ve wrecked your home

You and that Palin clown, are just the same
You both go out trolling down Tea Bag Row
Attempting to hide your sick games, they should know
That you both have a blackened hearts

Nikki, just choose to blunder
So they will elect somebody else
You know those email letters, screwed yourself
Nikki, just choose to blunder
Your mistakes are all your own
Exposed by all those email letters
Election’s blown

(instrumental)

South Carolinians must be blind
Keep electing the cheating kind
That state is just a world apart

Nikki, it is no wonder
That they should elect somebody else
They deserve someone better than yourself
Nikki, you must be dumber
Than a Sarah Palin clone
We will all be a whole lot better
When you’re sent home.

Nikki, just choose to blunder (Nikki, just chose to blunder)
Nikki, just choose to blunder

Sarah Palin Stars In “Bad Will Hunting” (Rated: Predictable)

Coming in January to theatres throughout Nevada, Sarah Palin stars in”Bad Will Hunting”. Yes it is true. Fresh off of her sniper-sight symbol laden political ad aimed at recently shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and immediately following her soul-searching, “I Was The True Victim Of The Tucson Shooting Massacre” speech, Sarah Palin will appear at the Safari Club International’s annual hunter’s convention.

Not to be dissuaded in any way from advocating gun violence against defenseless animals, Sarah Palin has elected to come out with guns blazing as the keynote speaker at the event that is expected to draw thousands. It is obvious that the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska cares little about the fact that appearing at the convention will once again connect her directly with gun-play and violence at a time when this nation is still grieving the tragic events of January 8th. On the contrary, the Queen of Quit refuses to “retreat”. Instead, she will “RELOAD” by means of telling tall tales about “her past hunting experiences and how politics affect the current state of hunting and fishing.”

Perhaps she will explain why she looked like she had never held a gun in her life and was unable to load her rifle without assistance on the recently broadcast episode of her un-reality television show, before she finally shot a caribou after numerous misfires. Maybe she will reminisce about that time during her 2008 campaign when she had to be coached that the butt of the gun should be against her shoulder before firing. She might even enthrall the audience with a technical description of how her staff computer geeks were able to get those sniper-sights,..er “surveyor symbols”… to turn the color red whenever one of her targeted candidates lost an election. The possibilities are endless.

All kidding aside however, wouldn’t you think that Sarah Palin might make some attempt to distance herself from the gun culture so soon after the Tucson tragedy which she is so inexorably connected by means of her rifle-sight ad and gun-firing rhetoric? Just when most of the nation agrees that a “cooling-off” period is in order, Sarah Palin elects to double-down on her connection with the gun-toters of America. And don’t let Sarah or her supporters fool you. She is not appearing in Nevada merely to speak about the virtues (whatever those may be) of the apolitical sport of hunting. Oh no, she is there to talk about how “politics affect” the past-time. Now hold on one second while I slip on my Palinese decoder ring. Ah, there we go. Now I can decipher her Sarah-speak. In no uncertain terms, Sarah Palin will tell her audience that the Democrats are out to take away their guns and their bullets and they will be able to hunt no more.

Is anybody out there willing to wager that she will deliver a different message?

UPDATE

On Monday, the media-shy Sarah Palin slithered into the friendly confines of the Fox News network to be interviewed by her BFF, Sean Hannity. The televised love-fest was an obvious attempt by both Palin and her Fox News employers to rehabilitate the reputations of both the speaking-challenged Palin and the propagandist network. The attempt failed on both counts. First, Palin gaffed by saying that she removed her sniper-sight laden map on the day of the Tucson massacre because, “it was going to cause much heartburn” (emphasis supplied). The alleged journalism major apparently did not realize that the saying is, “to cause much heart-ache“. As for the Fox network and Hannity, they proved once again that they will never ask a tough question or follow-up to a Republican or a conservative. The entire interview was more akin to an infomercial than news coverage. Thankfully for all of us bloggers that love to expose the idiocy of Sarah Palin, she announced that she, “is not going to shut up”. Thank goodness. Now we will be able to maintain our diet of never-ending word salad.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBbo0slWMW4

IT’S STILL LOCK AND LOAD FOR SHE (Version Two)

(sung to the Billy Joel song “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me ”)

What’s the matter with the clothes she’s wearing?
I believe they’re made from wolf hide
Maybe she should buy a new pair of glasses
She’s lookin’ just a bit pie-eyed
Just when you think Sarah’s sounding kinda murky,
She gives an interview while someone kills a turkey
Everybody’s talkin’ ‘bout polar bears
Funny, but it’s still lock and load for she

What’s the matter with the Queen of Conniving?
And her sniper-sight bullseye smile?
She associates with right-wing liars
As she travels for mile after mile
First she gave a speech in Minneapolis
Next she was headed right out to Indianapolis
Next day, Green Bay, then it’s off to LA
It’s still lock and load for she

Oh, it doesn’t matter what they say in the papers
‘Cause it’s always been the same damn scene.
She has to leave the state,
‘Cause the politics of hate dictate a nasty travel routine…
And ya know she’s raking in the green.

Her supporters all wear pink eye-blinders
And they love Sarah’s song and dance
They don’t care that she is brain-dead and crazy
And they just love it when she rants
They love it when Sarah winks and blinks her big peepers
She’s their idol and they love her, Jeepers-Creepers!
Defense funds, end runs, new guns for everyone
It’s still lock and load for she

What’s the matter with the company she’s keepin’?
Don’t she know that they’re out of touch?
Like Sarah, they lack a strong education
Can’t accuse them of knowin’ much
That seems to be OK with the G.O.P.
Who needs college when you have a G.E.D.
It’s the new cool, no school, milky eyes and mouth drool
And Sarah is the big Queen bee
Everybody’s talkin’ bout the new party
Funny, but it’s still the same G.O.P.

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