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Tell Me Why I Don’t Like Mondays (and Sarah Palin also, too)

Tom Delay's dancing attire.

Tom Delay's dancing attire.

BREAKING NEWS: Former Republican House Majority Leader, Tom Delay will participate in next season’s version of television’s Dancing With The Stars. OK, I know that there is a funny one liner in there somewhere, but I cannot think of it just now.

THIS JUST IN: Tom Ridge,  the Former Secretary of Homeland Security under President George W. Bush, has finally admitted that Bush administration officials attempted to raise the terror alert level to “orange” (the second highest level) just prior to the 2004 election, for no reason other than political gain. And this is supposed to be “new” news?

BREAKING NEWS: Ted Nugent has just been fired as a columnist for the Waco (Texas) Tribune-Herald. Yes, that Ted Nugent. You know, the ex-rock musician who became a crazy reich-wing conservative radio host and quite surprisingly, newspaper columnist. Just wondering, but will his pre-existing condition of Cat Scratch Fever prevent him from obtaining a replacement health insurance policy?

THIS JUST IN: Speculation is that Glenn Beck is not on a planned vacation this week, but is in fact on a forced suspension by Fox News. The rumor is that Fox is trying to provide a cooling off period without Beck’s incendiary remarks in an attempt to slow down Beck’s massive advertiser exodus. We say, “Bring him back, ASAP”.

BREAKING NEWS: Quarterback Brett Favre, recently signed by the Minnesota Vikings has opted to legally change his name to “Minny Me.”

THIS JUST IN: CNN reports that conservatives use the social networking tool known as the Twitter far more frequently than liberals. This is not surprising inasmuch as the 140 character limit is quite appealing to both conservatives and Republicans who tend to have very limited vocabularies. (see full story here).

BREAKING NEWS: The gossip tabloid, The Globe magazine is reporting that as the result of marriage problems, Sarah Palin may have suffered a nervous breakdown and checked into a “shaky clinic. ” Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN: After her embarrassing appearance on The Daily Show this week, Betsy McCaughey (Sarah Palin’s inspiration for the “death panels” remark) has resigned (been forced out?) of her position as director of Cantel Medical Corp. (see the humorous Daily Show clip, Part 1 here and Part 2 here).

Today’s song parody involves Sherrie Johnston (Bristol Palin’s almost mother-in-law) and her pain killer distribution conviction. Please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Day Tripper song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCrcrz6U8M

PAIN TRIPPER

(sung to The Beatles song “Day Tripper”)

No real good reason
For taking the easy way out
Last winter season
Sherrie J. was out and about, now
She was a pain tripper
Could not lick it, yeah
It turned her big smile to a pout
Without a doubt

The cops did tease her
They lured her out of her lair
They then did please her
They said that her price was fair, now
She was a pain tripper
Jail house ticket, yeah
It took her so long to find out
And she found out

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Levi sees her
When he’s not out in clubland
Tries to free her
Hiding a file in his hand, now
She was a pain tripper
Three to fiver, yeah
It turned her big smile to a pout
And she found out

Pain tripper
Pain tripper, yeah
Pain tripper
Pain tripper, yeah
Pain tripper