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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 79

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Newsone.com reports, “The Tea Party of Tennessee wants to remove incidents of slavery and genocide from American textbooks for fear they would besmirch the image of the Founding Fathers.” Anyone surprised?

THIS JUST IN:  Not only did we learn this week that Republican presidential candidate and serial philanderer Newt Gingrich owns business which failed to pay taxes in four states. It was also revealed by Politico.com that six years ago he owed between $250,000.00 and $500,000.00 to Tiffany’s jewelers. It sure takes a lot of money to keep three wives and who knows how many mistresses bathed in bling!

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time some Teapublican tells you that it would be a mistake to raise the debt ceiling, remind them that in 1983 Ronald Reagan said this,

“The full consequences of a default — or even the serious prospect of default — by the United States are impossible to predict and awesome to contemplate. Denigration of the full faith and credit of the United States would have substantial effects on the domestic financial markets and the value of the dollar in exchange markets. The Nation can ill afford to allow such a result. The risks, the costs, the disruptions, and the incalculable damage lead me to but one conclusion: the Senate must pass this legislation before the Congress adjourns.”

THIS JUST IN: California may be following in the footsteps of Vermont regarding health care. The California Universal Healthcare Act was introduced by Sen. Mark Leno, D-San Francisco. The bill would initiate single-payer universal health care for the state of California. Now that is change we can believe in!

BREAKING NEWS:  In light of the news about Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s illicit “love child”, we can now add his name to the list of philandering “family values” Republicans which includes John Ensign, John McCain, Larry Craig, David Vitter, Mark Sanford, Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani, Mark Foley, Glenn Murphy, Bob Allen, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall. Keep doing the good Lord’s work you guys!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Jon Stewart And Why We Love This Guy” features who else but Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum. For a good laugh, Stewart asks us to “Google” the name “Santorum”. Go ahead. Give it a try.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Republican Hypocrisy” is brought to us by bluemassgroup.com and stars senators Lamar Alexander (R-TN), Tom Coburn (R-OK), Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) and Johnny Isakson (R-GA). Each of these senators had pledged to never filibuster a judicial nominee. Each of these senators voted to filibuster the nomination of Goodwin Liu to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit last week.

THIS JUST IN:  Quote of the week. While describing the GOP backlash against Newt Gingrich for advocating personal mandates for health insurance, Stephen Colbert said,

“They spanked Newt’s ass until it was so pink and swollen it looked like Newt’s face.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Moonbat-crazy Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul appeared on Fox News Sunday last weekend and claimed that Social Security and Medicare are unconstitutional and then he compared them to slavery. here is a bit of his interview with Mike Wallace:

WALLACE: You talk a lot about the Constitution. You say Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid are all unconstitutional.

PAUL: Technically, they are. … There’s no authority [in the Constitution]. Article I, Section 8 doesn’t say I can set up an insurance program for people. What part of the Constitution are you getting it from? The liberals are the ones who use this General Welfare Clause. … That is such an extreme liberal viewpoint that has been mistaught in our schools for so long and that’s what we have to reverse—that very notion that you’re presenting.

WALLACE: Congressman, it’s not just a liberal view. It was the decision of the Supreme Court in 1937 when they said that Social Security was constitutional under Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution.

PAUL: And the Constitution and the courts said slavery was legal to, and we had to reverse that.

A video clip is worth a thousand words, so let’s watch it, shall we?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Da Doo Ron Ron song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNiYECUd2ZU

DA DOO RON RON

 (sung to the Crystals song “Da Doo Ron Ron”)

Ron Paul was on “Fox Sunday” and I got a chill
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
About the Constitution, he knows nil
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
A fool on the Hill
With a voice so shrill
He’s a tea-bagging gnome
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron

Knows what he is doing when he starts to lie
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
He’s a laugh-riot yes, my oh my
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
This Tea Party guy
He must be high
Wish he would just go home
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron

(racist comment break)

He is sixty-seven with an addled mind
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
This buffoon harbors a racist side
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
Yes, he looks benign
But, Paul’s a punch-line
Son Rand is daddy’s clone
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron

Doo Ron Ron Ron da do Ron Ron
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
(repeat to fade)


Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 33

Just a few noteworthy news satelites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Rush To Judgment” features conservative radio comedian Rush Limbaugh. He blamed the labor union for failing to fight for protections for the 29 miners that were killed when Massey Energy’s mine in Montcoal, WV exploded under unsafe conditions. That mine’s owners had been sited for some 50 safety violations during the month prior to the tragedy. Limbaugh said,

Was there no union responsibility for improving mine safety? Where was the union here? Where was the union? The union is generally holding these companies up demanding all kinds of safety. Why were these miners continuing to work in what apparently was an unsafe atmosphere?

Umm, Rush, this was a non-union mine. When the employees tried to unionize, they were threatened with losing their jobs! But don’t let the facts get in the way. Limbaugh also announced that more than 30,000 people attended the Tea-Party rally on Boston Common when no other estimates exceeded 5000.

THIS JUST IN:  The Commonwealth of Massachusetts announced this week that it will penalize large national banks that do not lower credit card interest rates for consumers. The Washington Post reports, “State Treasurer Timothy Cahill said the state has removed Bank of America, Citi and Wells Fargo from a list of institutions approved for new state investments. Massachusetts, which is the only state to make such a move, is also beginning to divest $243 million in funds held at those banks, though the process could take up to six months.” Massachusetts’ action, “has reignited advocacy groups that support creating a national usury law after a 1978 Supreme Court decision found that interest rate caps could apply only to state-chartered lenders. As a result, many banks moved their headquarters to states with looser usury laws, such as Delaware, allowing them to bypass limits set in other states.” Massachusetts law caps interest rates at 18 percent. “Last week, state officials met with officials from Bank of America, where Massachusetts has $231 million in investments, to request that it meet that cap for state residents. When the bank declined, Cahill said, his office decided it would shift the funds into other accounts. Massachusetts also has $9 million invested with Citi and $3 million with Wells Fargo.” Good for you, Massachusetts.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s edition of “They’re So Crazy They’re Dangerous” features the Oklahoma Tea Party leaders who are petitioning state legislators to create, “a new volunteer militia to help defend against what they believe are improper federal infringements on state sovereignty.” You read that correctly, the Tea-Baggers want to legally arm themselves to fight a war against the United States’ Military. I thought the Tea-Baggers honored the troops. Guess not. Who knew?

THIS JUST IN:  Mediamatters.org reports, “A New York Times poll has revealed that a majority of ‘Tea Party supporters’ named Fox News as the television network they ‘watch most for information about politics and current events.’ It should come as little surprise then that the tea party supporters polled also held positions that reflect misinformation pushed by Fox News on a variety of topics including socialism and the federal budget deficit.”

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s edition of “It Is Great To Be Patriotic” features Republican Senator, moonbat crazy Michele Bachmann (Turner Overdrive), who said on a radio talk show this week, “We’re, we’re, we’re hoping that President Obama’s policies don’t succeed.”

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “He Must Have Forgotten To Take His Medication” features Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch who surprisingly demanded that television host Sean Hannity return immediately from a planned appearance on behalf of the Tea-Party because Fox News should not be supporting the movement. Murdoch said, “I don’t think we should be supporting the Tea Party or any other party.” Well then, what will they have left to talk about? Our guess is that Fox may finally have realized that the Tea-Party support may reflect badly on the network’s ratings.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s edition of “I Simply Cannot Stop Lying” features Fox News host Bill O”Reilly. He denied Republican Senator Tom Coburn’s charge that Fox News hosts have suggested that citizens could be thrown in jail if they do not buy health insurance after passage of the new health reform law. Let’s check the video…

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

The Who’s Baba O’Reilly (Teenage Wasteland) song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ik_K3s7B2A

BLAH, BLAH O’REILLY

(sung to The Who song “Baba O’Reilly [Teenage Wasteand])

Out here on the air
Unbalanced, not fair
I earn my pay with all my fibbing
My show really bites
Just watch tonight
I’ll be on your television

Don’t cry
Don’t hide your eyes
It’s only Bill-O’s Wasteland

Coulter, take my hand
We’re in Fox News Land
We all are liars
“Pinheads” on our shoulders
The Exorcist is here
He’ll drive out all the queers
Dressed all in leather
They could not get much bolder

Bill-O’s Wasteland
It’s only Bill-O’s Wasteland
Bill-O’s Wasteland
It’s only Bill-O’s Wasteland
They’re all wasted

(classic Who musical harmonica fade-out)

Walking In A Palin Wonderland

The Twelve (OK, Seventeen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

We have two short but noteworthy comments to make today. The first is that the Republican Party has once again sunk to the deepest of Hell’s depths on this Holy week. Prior to the Senate’s vote on Monday to advance its version of the health care reform bill, Oklahoma’s Republican Senator (and gynecologist) Tom Coburn asked the American people to pray that someone would die. Here are his exact words,

What the American people ought to pray is that somebody can’t make the vote tonight. That’s what they ought to pray

This type of hypocricy is typical for the Republicans. Here they are calling themselves the “pro-life” party while at the same time asking people to request that God kill somebody merely to prevent them from casting a vote in the Senate. The comment is particularly damning of Coburn, who as a physician, has taken a solemn oath to preserve lives. If God were to pay any attention to that monster, not only would at least one Senator lose his life but so would many of those presently uninsured sick persons who’s lives will be saved by health care reform. Merry Christmas to you too, Mr. Coburn.

Our second item of interest involves our favorite blog subject, Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska wrote in her ghostwritten memoir, Going Rogue:

In that first year, I was alerted to threats against Willow by students at her Juneau school, one particularly disturbing. Someone posted a note on an Internet site threatening to gang-rape her at school. I never felt safe for her after that. Later, the same thing happened to Bristol.

That was obviously an indefensible act of violence proposed against two of the governor’s daughters. Palin had every reason to fear for her daughters’ safety and to remove them from their schools if she found the threats to be credible. She also had an obligation to report the threats to the school administration and to local law enforcement agencies, if not to protect her own daughters, then to protect and warn the other students that remained in those schools. Problem is however, it does not appear that Sarah Palin reported the threats to anyone.

The JuneauEmpire.com reports that former Juneau School District Superintendent Peggy Cowan was superintendent during the period in question and said she never heard of such concerns. They also report that Juneau Police Chief Greg Browning similarly said his department has no record of ever being alerted to such threats. Finally, it was also reported that  the Alaska State Troopers provide a security detail for Palin, but trooper spokeswoman Megan Peters said the first they heard about the allegation was from Palin’s book.

This raises the question, just what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? Did these threatened gang rapes ever really happen? If so, why did Palin fail to report such a serious situation to any of the proper authorities? If she failed to report the threats in an attempt to protect her daughters’ privacy, then why did she reveal the whole situation in her best selling book? Can anything that Sarah Palin says be believed?

Lastly, as any and all of you self-respecting Seinfeld fans out there already know, today is the holiday of FESTIVUS. You know, “Festivus for the rest of us”. So, without further adieu, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to wish all of you fellow Rockateers a Merry Festivus!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s holiday song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold a book and made a lot of dough, man
It had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland

Health Care Reform, Sarah Palin And The Girlie Republicans

The Twelve (OK, Fifteen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

Wow, the Sunday morning talking head programs revealed one thing for certain. On the eve of the Senate’s midnight vote on its watered down version of a health care reform bill, every single Republican has his/her panties in a bunch. Have you ever seen a bigger bunch of cry-babies in your life? They simply cannot handle the fact that the Senate Democrats will stick together with a filibuster-proof 60 votes.

Take a look at some of the outrageously ridiculous language used by Republicans on television yesterday. Senator Tom Coburn said, “This process is not legislation; this is corruption.” Failed Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee said, “If the members of this Congress will not pay attention to the people who elected them, who hired them and who have the right to fire them, then the people in this country will remind them who they work for when they no longer get to work for them.” The craziest statement of all however, came from Senator Lindsey Graham who said,

’The Class Act’ that allows long term health care insurance to be subsidized by the government and offered by the government is a Ponzi scheme in the first order that Madoff would have been proud of. It’s still in the bill. Any democratic senator that votes for the bill is a coconspirator to one of the biggest Ponzi schemes in Washington.

You would think that these morons were not aware of every poll which suggests that a majority of Americans are in favor of health care reform.

In other news, wasn’t it a laugh riot when Sarah Palin mangled the English language and exposed her stupidity and lack of education yet again when she confused the words “ion” and “eon”? She is the gift that simply keeps on giving and right in time for Christmas also, too.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s holiday song parody.

Here Comes Santa Claus song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5-OC_5rksk

HERE COMES SARAH P.

(sung to the Christmas song “Here Comes Santa Claus”)

Here comes Sarah P., Here comes Sarah P.
Basking in her fame
No education, a fool without peer
Could she be more lame?
Sarah’s singing words so stinging
You can tell she’s not bright
She keeps squawking that she’s the player
That dominates the far right

Here comes Sarah P., Here comes Sarah P.
A “Calamity Jane”
A big windbag that’s filled with noise
Describes the Palin name
Simple language she does mangle
She never gets it quite right
So jump in bed and cover your head
Cuz Sarah P. comes tonight!

Here comes Sarah P., Here comes Sarah P.
She’s an unemployed dame
She doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor
She’ll fleece you just the same
Sarah P. never tends her children
And she thinks that’s alright
As long as her kids are not queer
Who cares where they sleep tonight!

Here comes Sarah P., Here comes Sarah P.
Playing Sarah P. games
When she misspeaks and then gets called out
It’s the media she blames
Sean Hannity she will call
She thinks he can make it right
But let’s give thanks to the Lord above
She’s not on Fox News tonight!

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 21

Just a few noteworthy news stories that have been careening around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS: And now, for this weeks episode of Republican Hypocrites we have John Boehner (pronounced, boner) and Mitch McConnell. The two Republican leaders have taken a new tact in obstructing the Senate health care reform bill. They are publicly proclaiming that proposed amendments to the  bill are being negotiated by the Democratic majority “behind closed doors.” In an effort to nip that allegation in the bud, Democratic Senator Harry Reid immediately suggested that all proposed amendments to the bill be posted online for  public scrutiny. The Republican leadership of course, rejected the suggestion outright.

THIS JUST IN: The Harlem Gospel Choir has pulled a Sarah Palin and backed out of an appearance on Glenn Beck’s Christmas special at the last moment. Good for them. They were alerted to Beck’s overtly racist mindset by Color Of Change, the group which successfully orchestrated the Glenn Beck advertiser boycott. Nobody noticed the choir’s absence however, because Beck’s show was a bust. Only 17 tickets were sold in Boston and New York City. This highlights the point that Beck’s audience is a lot smaller than he thinks.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s constituents suffer from the highest percentage of home foreclosures in the state of Minnesota. Bachmann’s district had 1097 foreclosures in July, August and September 2009. Let’s hope that her homeless constituents are aware of the fact that Bachmann voted against every major piece of foreclosure-relief legislation brought before the House during her term in office.

THIS JUST IN: Former Fox News Watch host Eric Burns has some strong words regarding the Fox Network and Glenn Beck. He writes on the Huffington Post that he used to work for a “right-wing partial-news-but-mostly-opinion-network.” As for Glenn beck, he said,

I speak out now because it is the time of year when one is supposed to count blessings. I have several. Among them is that I do not have to face the ethical problem of sharing an employer with Glenn Beck.

Actually, Beck is a problem of taste as well as ethics. He laughs and cries; he pouts and giggles; he makes funny faces and grins like a cartoon character; he makes earnest faces yet insists he is a clown; he cavorts like a victim of St. Vitus’s Dance. His means of communicating are, in other words, so wide-ranging as to suggest derangement as much as versatility.

BREAKING NEWS: On Thursday, Senate Democrats voted to keep nearly $ 500 billion in Medicare cuts in their version of the health care reform bill. By a vote of 58 to 42 they rejected Republican Senator John McCain’s proposal to strip out the cuts. Isn’t it ironic that the political party that has opposed the Medicare program from its inception now portrays itself as its champion? The cuts to the program will not limit medical services to recipients nor increase co-pays and the cuts are supported by AARP.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of Foolish Republican Tricks that Backfired features Senators David “Diaper Wearing” Vitter and Tom Coburn. The two tricky Republicans filed an amendment to the health care reform bill which would require that all members of Congress enroll in the “public option.” They believed that no self respecting legislator would ever submit his own health care to such a lousy plan. Problem is, Democrats Sherrod Brown, Al Franken, Barbara Mikulski and Chris Dodd have all agreed not only to enroll in the public option but also to co-sponsor the amendment with the two Republicans. Once their bluff was called, the cowardly Republicans retracted the amendment.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of Blue-Dog Democrats Behaving Badly features Senator Max Baucus of Montana. Baucus is best known as the jerk who did whatever he could to prevent a public option from appearing in the Senate version of the health care reform bill. We learned this week that Baucus has also sided with the Republicans in their favorite pastime, adultery. Baucus has now admitted that he was carrying on an affair with his state office director, at the same time that he nominated her to be U.S. Attorney in Montana. He may as well just switch party affiliation at this point.

THIS JUST IN: In this week’s episode of Indefensible Republican Votes we have the 30 Republican Senators that voted against an amendment to a defense spending bill that would withhold government contracts from companies that refused to let employee rape victims bring the rape cases before courts of law. ‘Nuff said.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s song parody.

Every Kind Of People song link: http://www.ilike.com/artist/Robert+Palmer/track/Every+Kinda+People

EVERY KIND OF PEOPLE

(sung to the Robert Palmer version of the song “Every Kind Of People”)

The far right always competes
They all lie and then misspeak
Try to keep their jobs
Fighting to land a spot on Fox

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

We’re not sure Glenn Beck can read
Is Ann Coulter a he or is it a she?
O’Reilly seems so damn uptight
Limbaugh cannot keep a wife

Though they profit by deceit
Honest men know that
Fox will suffer defeat
If you’re anything but white
Fox News will insult you with delight

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

(musical interlude)

You know that hate’s their only goal
They learned that long ago from Bob Dole
Hey, and they are all insane
Looking to always pass the blame

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
It takes every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout
It takes very kind of people




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