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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 9


BREAKING NEWS: San Francisco radio station 910 KNEW, the flagship station of reich-wing uber-conservative radio commentator, Michael Savage, has dropped his program known as “The Savage Nation.” Now that he is unemployed, will he be able to obtain replacement health insurance coverage despite his pre-existing condition of clinical insanity?

THIS JUST IN: Republican Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina burst into the public consciousness last week when he called President Obama a “liar” during the President’s nationally televised speech before both houses of Congress. Every single major media source reported the man’s abominable behavior for the next number of days. We have learned that Wilson has been in Congress for almost eight years. Our question to you readers is, have you ever even heard of this loser before he made a fool of himself?

BREAKING NEWS: In our next installment of “Republicans Behaving Badly” we have California State Assemblyman, Mike Duvall. The traditional “family values” proponent was forced to resign last week as the result of the release of an audio tape during which he describes his bondage sessions with mistresses that do not happen to be his wife. It also turns out that one of his “bad girls” works as a lobbyist at a San Diego energy firm that Duvall had oversight of. Your punishment, Mr. Duvall? Fifty-four spankings!

THIS JUST IN: As a counter-punch to the mayor of Mt. Vernon, WA presenting the “Town Key” to Fox News commentator Glenn Beck, the Bellingham, WA mayor has offered his “City’s Key” to The Daily Show host, Jon Stewart. Take that, Mt. Vernon!

BREAKING NEWS: Conservative radio entertainer Rush Limbaugh says, “I wish Wilson hadn’t apologized” in reference to the aforementioned, Joe “You Lie” Wilson outburst. This is not surprising. In his apology to the President “Shouting Joe” said that he was  compelled to utter his insult. A compulsion is much like an addiction in that the person that has it cannot control their behavior. Rush Limbaugh, the self admitted drug addict, must share some sort of brotherly feelings with Wilson. Perhaps they can refer to themselves as “Friends of Glenn.”

THIS JUST IN: We have another episode of “Republicans Behaving Badly.”  CNN reports that “Bob McDonnell, the normally-disciplined Republican candidate for governor in Virginia, mistakenly blurted out the F-bomb during a live radio interview on Friday… Appearing on Washington-area radio station WTOP, McDonnell was sparring with host Mark Plotkin on the topic of transportation funding. Plotkin asked if McDonnell would consider an increase in the state gasoline tax to help fund the transportation budget. McDonnell said no, and uttered the expletive during his response.” To wit,

“I’m going to find other ways to be able to fund transportation. I’ve outlined twleve f—ing funding mechanisms that are creative, that are entrepreneurial.”

BREAKING NEWS: Actress Tina Fey has deservedly won an Emmy Award for her hilariously realistic portrayal of Alaska’s quitting ex-governor, Sarah Palin. In her acceptance speech, Fey once again took a jab at Palin by saying:

“Mrs. Palin is an inspiration to working mothers everywhere because she bailed on her job right before Fourth of July weekend … You are living my dream. Thank you, Mrs. Palin!”

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

The No No Song song link:


(sung to the Ringo Starr song “The No No Song”)

A doctor that I know just came from the pharmacy
He smiled at Rush and opened up his hand
Then he held out some oxycontin tablets
He said they were the finest in the land

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My back is feeling really damn sore
If I say please
Can I have more of these
My habit has become really hardcore

A friend of Rush Limbo who wears a hat made of tin
Came on the show and opened up his hand
When he revealed twelve tablets of vicodin
Rush was so happy he performed handstands

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
I always come to you for a score
Without more of these
I’m in a cold-turkey freeze
And ditto-heads need someone to adore

A ditto-head I know said he could make organs grow
He smiled and said Rush would not need his hand
Then he gave him some blue viagra pills, Oh
And said that things will rise upon command

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My love life has become such a chore
Please, pretty please
I’m flying overseas
The boys there like it when it hits the floor