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Message To Rick Perry: “Read My Lips. NO NEW TEXANS” !!!

The next time some crazy Tea Party memberr tries to convince you that Bible-thumping Republican Rick Perry would make a great President because of his job creation record in Texas, return the volley with some hard hitting facts.

Inform the Perry fans that although Texas has led the nation in job creation for the last few years, Texas also leads the nation in producing jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage. Additionally, employment in Texas has been evenly growing for some 20 years which is long before Perry became governor. You should also point out the fact that despite that job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.2 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.6 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. In contrast, Texas ranks 50th in the nation when it comes to the percentage of its residents that have health insurance. Perry claims that the national health care reform law which was enacted in 2010 by President Obama is a jobs killer, but the Massachusetts example proves otherwise.

Furthermore, NPR informs us that Texas’ job growth was also helped by the fact that there is “no corporate income tax, no state income tax, and environmental and other state regulations on Texas businesses are kept to a minimum.” Consequently, many corporations have elected to abandon other states and move to Texas. That may suit the purposes of a Texas governor, but it would not help a President who represents all 50 states. It is not job creation for the nation when jobs are reduced in one state and added in another.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Rick Perry’s lack of critical thought was quite evident just this week when he accused Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke of treason if he chose to increase the nation’s money supply. It is hard to imagine that the head of the Fed could commit treason simply by means of performing the duties of his job which are to adjust the money supply. It is a particularly laughable statement when one considers that it was Rick Perry himself who threatened to commit a treasonous act when he suggested in 2009, that Texas may have to secede from the the United States.

These facts should provide all you fellow Rocketeers with ample ammunition when battling Rick Perry supporters. if you really want to get under their skin, tell them: “Read my lips. NO NEW TEXANS!”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a Gov. named Rick
Just like George Bush, a dumb and backwards hick
The Texans know they earn money for their food
Not cuz Rick’s around, it’s that bubbling crude
(Oil that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea)

As for sick folks Rick just hasn’t got a care
No insurance, all they have is prayer
Washington DC is the place he wants to be
So he threw his name in  for the Presidency
(Crazy that is, Bachmann, Newt Gingrich)

(academic probation break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Rick and all his kin,
He is in New Hampshire raisin’ dough and campaignin’
He doesn’t know squat ‘bout economic policy
But that does not matter to those fools that drink his tea.
(Perry’s a hillbilly, that’s what we’ll call him now, cow polk)
Y’all come back now, y’hear?

Adios, Ron Paul

Some good news actually came out of Washington yesterday. After he loses his third bid for the Presidency, Teapublican Ron Paul is quitting his Congressional seat. The Republican Tea Party champion has announced that after serving 24 years as representative of Texas’ 14th Congressional District, he will not seek re-election. Thank the Lord for small miracles.

In earlier blog posts we have highlighted some of Ron Paul’s ideas and positions such as:

He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution”;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth;

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional; and

– He is worried that our nation’s gold supply might have gone missing from Fort Knox.

We have also previously printed some of Paul’s racist quotes as attributed to him in his very own newsletter such as:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”.

What more does one need to know about Ron Paul? He is quite simply a radically wacky racist that our nation will be better off without.

Ah Ron, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:


(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 29

Just a few noteworthy political meteorites  that have been careening around the galaxy this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: Befuddled bloviator Rush Limbaugh announced on his radio program last week that if the Health Care Reform bill is enacted into law, he will flee the United States and move to Costa Rica in 5 years (when all of the provisions of the bill will kick in). Problem is, Costa Rica has a socialized medical system which covers approximately 95% of its citizens. Would someone please inform Limbaugh of this?

THIS JUST IN: Moonbat crazy Sarah Palin has announced that she will be hosting a fundraiser for moonbat crazy Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. Those two alone will provide enough insanity to fill an asylum.

BREAKING NEWS: Things just got a little worse for Republican Senator John Ensign of Nevada. You might recall that Ensign is the “family values” politician that cheated on his wife with a married staffer and when he was caught, he tried buying off her husband by finding him a job. He also arranged to have his parents pay hush up money to his mistress and her husband. Now some previously undisclosed email messages have emerged which may indicate that Ensign violated federal laws by attempting to steer lobbying work to the embittered husband of his mistress. The FBI and Senate ethics investigators are reviewing the emails to determine whether criminal charges will result therefrom. Maybe the Republican leadership should stop hurling stones at resigning Democratic representative Eric Massa lest they shatter their own glass house. At least Massa had the decency to resign while Ensign refuses to do so.

THIS JUST IN: Another Republican lie regarding health care reform has been debunked this week. The most recent AP/GfK poll reveals that 50% of Americans believe the health care system should be changed “a great deal” and only 4% believe that the system should not be changed. So, the Republicans are lying when they claim that Americans do not want massive change to the health care system. No surprise there.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Despicable Human Beings” features Karl Rove who  told a BBC interviewer that he is “proud” of waterboarding and that it is not torture. Perhaps then Rove might be willing to undergo the procedure by means of standing in for the chicken-hearted Sean Hannity who remains unwilling to take the offer from Keith Olbermann who has agreed to donate $ 10,000.00 to charity for every second that Hannity can withstand the procedure.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Behaving Badly” features Utah House Majority leader Kevin Garn. He resigned from the Legislature, two days after his confession about sitting nude in a hot tub with a teenage girl 25 years ago stunned the conservative state. The 55-year-old Garn acknowledged the indiscretion late Thursday immediately after the Legislature adjourned for the session. He says he paid the woman, Cheryl Maher, $150,000 to keep quiet about the episode when he unsuccessfully ran for Congress in 2002. Maher was 15 and a legal minor when the hot tub incident occurred. The Salt Lake Tribune reports that Garn was 30.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Conservative Pundits Telling The Truth” features David Brooks of the New York Times. In his March 11th column he said that President Barack Obama  “is still the most realistic and reasonable major player in Washington”. See David, that wasn’t so hard now, was it? Just imagine what the likes of Limbaugh and Beck will say about Brooks.

THIS JUST IN: Those crazy, secession happy Texans are at it again. The state that claims to have given us George W. Bush except for the fact that he was born in Connecticut, raised in Maine and secondary schooled in Massachusetts before attending college back in Connecticut has gotten itself all mixed up once again.  The far right leaning evangelical Christian dominated Texas Board of Education voted this week to revise its social studies curriculum by means of refusing to require that “students learn that the Constitution prevents the U.S. government from promoting one religion over all others.” It also voted to remove Thomas Jefferson from the Texas curriculum, “replacing him with religious right icon John Calvin.” So much for the high status of those “founding fathers” that the conservatives so often make reference to. The new Texas state motto: “Texas Education, Don’t Let Facts Influence Our Children”.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

California Dreamin’ song link:


(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)

All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate

Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray

(musical interlude)

Glenn Beck is a clown
(Glenn Beck is a clown)
What does Limbaugh weigh?
(What does Limbaugh weigh?)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away