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Romney Lies Again: He Favored Mandated Contraception Before He Was Against It!

Mitt Romney, the Flip-Flopper-In-Chief has been exposed yet again.

Romney has jumped on the bandwagon of those who state the the federal government’s regulation which mandates that all employers (with the exception of church’s and houses of worship) provide their employees with health insurance policies which include contraception at no cost to employees, is an “attack on religious liberty”. Problem is, shortly after Romney made that statement it was revealed that while he was Governor of Massachusetts there was a similar law in effect which he reinforced in his RomneyCare health law.

In an attempt to distance himself from the Massachusetts law, Romney came back yesterday and said,

“Actually the legislation in our state that related to providing contraception and sterilization, those kinds of things in insurance, occurred before I was governor. And my effort as governor was to try and remove those things. I was unsuccessful in removing them — my legislature was 85 percent Democrat — but the White House can’t point to my record because this occurred before I became governor and my effort was to get it out of the legislation going forward.”

OK, that sounds reasonable. At least it would if it were true. Unfortunately for Romney it is not true at all.

The Maddow Blog today reveals the real story. To be fair, some of the mandated contraception policy pre-dates Romney’s one term in Massachusetts office. In 2002, then-Gov. Jane Swift (R) signed a measure requiring insurers to cover the cost of contraceptives. Insurance purchased by churches or church-controlled organizations were exempt. Four years later however, Governor Romney signed a statewide health care reform package into law (RomneyCare) that solidified the contraception mandate. While he now claims to have “fought to remove” the mandates, such is not the case at all.

Former Massachusetts Secretary for Human Services Phil Johnston reports as follows:

“Mitt Romney never expressed any concern about the mandate — never mentioned that it would infringe upon religious freedoms. During the four years that Governor Romney served, he was totally silent about that issue. Most notably, his signature issue as Governor, which all of us supported and which we now affectionately refer to as ‘Romneycare’ left the contraception mandate in place.

“So when he says he opposes the contraception mandate and will repeal it, which apparently he’s been saying the past day or two since this issue has become very public, he’s really not being truthful. He had four years to repeal it or to speak out against it in our state and he didn’t do that. And even more tellingly, his own healthcare plan which he signed into law embraced contraception mandates.”

Harvard University professor of public health, John McDonough adds:

“[Romney] did not, in fact, propose eliminating broader mandated benefits protections for Massachusetts consumers. More importantly, the law that he signed a year later in April 2006 also created the Commonwealth Care program as well as other new insurance programs and that included coverage for all of the existing mandated benefits at the time, including contraception coverage.

“The record does match a lot of the claims that are being made on it. There was a pretty consistent level of support for contraceptive coverage and mandated benefits throughout the Romney era when he was governor. I have absolutely zero recollection of any reference at any point, as a candidate or as governor, where he attacked or tried to undermine contraceptive coverage.”

It would appear then, like so many other things, Mitt(wit) Romney was in favor of mandated no-cost contraception before he was against it.

UPDATE:

It is now being reported that in response to the debate concerning mandated no-cost contraception, the Barack Obama administration has decided to change the wording but not the effect of the federal regulation. The Boston Globe reports that religious employers will not have to cover birth control for their employees. The administration instead will demand that insurance companies will be the ones directly responsible for providing free contraception. Women will still get guaranteed access to birth control without co-pays or premiums no matter where they work, a provision of Obama’s health care law that he insisted must remain. But religious universities and hospitals that see contraception as an unconscionable violation of their faith can refuse to cover it, and insurance companies will then have to step in to do so. Under the new policy, religious employers will not be required to offer contraception and will not have to refer their employees to places that provide it. If such an employer opts out, the employer’s insurance company must provide birth control for free in a separate arrangement with workers who want it.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFI-hhndCek

THE ROMNEY HILLBILLY

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitt
A rich profiteer who’s been known to pitch a fit.
Unlike Scott Brown he won’t model in the nude,
He likes to run for office but he doesn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Hates Polls,    Sanity.

Well the one thing we know is Mitt’s a millionaire,
Pinstriped suits and plastic molded hair.
Inside the beltway is the place he wants to be,
So he strapped his dog on top and drove down to D.C.

Washington that is,   Lobbyists,    Big black cars.

(flip-flop break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Mitt and all his friends,
He will lose this year’s election and that will be his end
He never will return again cuz of the Tea Party,
They much prefer Santorum and his beastiality.

Man on dog, that is,   Ring a bell?,    Take your pants off.

Don’t come back now, y’hear?

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The Free-Fall Of Ron Paul

How fortunate that wacky Republican Ron Paul announced his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on a Friday the 13th. He now has a ready-made excuse for why his campaign was such an abysmal failure. Despite what the pundits constantly refer to as Paul’s fervently devoted group of grassroots supporters and Tea Party nut-jobs, nobody seems to ever vote for this guy. In Iowa he garnered a respectable 21% of the vote but finished only third. In the New Hampshire primary election, his percentage of the vote plateaued at 22% and in South Carolina his support dropped to 13%. It remains to be seen how low his support will drop today in the Florida primary election.

We knew that, as always, Ron Paul’s candidacy would go nowhere.  He is after all, a radical crazy person. If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s zaniness, consider these tidbits:

–  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth;

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional; and

– He would rather have sick people die from their illnesses than receive government provided health care.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

– “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking).

This is scary stuff. Is it any wonder that this man is never taken very seriously by the majority of Americans?

Nevertheless, Ron Paul does have the capacity to do some good for his country. He demonstrated that this last autumn when he decided not to seek re-election to his Texas House of Representatives seat. Consequently, there is certain to be one less radical insane person in the next Congress. Also, there is always the possibility that as soon as Paul realizes that he has no chance of capturing the Republican nomination, he may decide to run as either an Independent or a third party candidate. He would still have absolutely no chance of being elected, but he would steal a certain percentage of votes form the Republican nominee (Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich) thereby helping Barack Obama to win the general election.

Do the right thing Mr. Paul.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN (RON PAUL VERSION)

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Glenn Beck Is A Victim Of George Soros-Influenced Fox News!

Think about this for a moment. When was the last time that you heard anything at all about Glenn Beck?

For me, it was last week when during the Boston Bruins White House ceremony, it was revealed that goaltender Tim Thomas had skipped the event because he is a Tea Party member and big fan of Glenn Beck. Upon hearing mention of Beck it dawned on me that this once uber-popular crackpot has essentially evaporated and wafted away from the public consciousness.

Glenn Beck of course, was the one-time widely popular (with idiots) Fox News personality who quickly rose to stardom before flaming out of existence. During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck is long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck, the self-described rodeo clown, began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in a near empty classroom. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses and audience witnessed.

Consequently, Glenn Beck’s Fox News show was abruptly cancelled. On his last broadcast he said, “You will pray for the time when I was only on the air for one hour every day.” Apparently our prayers have been answered. Beck has been nowhere to be found since leaving Fox.

The tiny little audience that followed Beck to his new internet-based program must have also realized that he has become invisible. They are now trying to influence Fox News to put him back on the network. The means by which they are trying to accomplish their goal however, seems a bit…well…Beckian. You see, this group believes that the root of all evil, George Soros has actually infiltrated News Corp (the Fox News parent company) and orchestrated the demise of Glenn Beck. Really. I’m not making this stuff up.

Mediaite.com reports that conservative activist Cliff Kincaid of America’s Survival has launched a call for Fox News to bring back Glenn Beck. “Fox News has been disintegrating since Soros-funded groups forced Glenn Beck off the air,” declared Kincaid. “His show was replaced by a program featuring Democratic Party hack Bob Beckel, who regularly insults conservatives. It’s time for Glenn Beck, now on Internet TV, to return to the cable channel so that he can continue his investigative journalism into the rapidly expanding influence of the Soros network of organizations. We urge Fox News CEO Roger Ailes to negotiate Beck’s return at the earliest possible date.”

Fox News is a liberal arm of George Soros? Really? Sounds like something only Beck could come up with. Ah Glenn Beck, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(break with reality)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Carville Carves Up Republican Presidential Candidates

Sometimes you must honestly admit that someone else has addressed a topic in a far better than you could have done yourself. Such is the case for me today.

On Saturday, Democratic strategist James Carville wrote a column which was posted on the CNN website here. It is titled “Carville to GOP: You have a disaster on your hands” and it is a gem. It colorfully describes the mess that is the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

I mean, most people thought it was kind of a watermark when your Tea Party gang booed the golden rule (at the Fox Debate). You know, I’ve spent some time in Philly and they have always thought they were pretty radical because they actually booed Santa Claus and Willie Mays. Philly, I’ve got news for you — you ain’t got nothing on South Carolina Republicans. They just aren’t buying any of that do-unto-others garbage.”

Here is another beauty:

“I actually thought my favorite moment of this delightful process was when one of your eight front-runners, Herb Cain, (as Sarah Palin calls him) actually ran an ad with his campaign manager endorsing him. (Rove, why didn’t you think of that in 2000? Imagine the headline: “Rove endorses Bush.”)”

This sums up Mitt Romney’s campaign pretty well:

“At any rate, let’s talk a minute about Mitt. He was your guy — he was methodical, meticulous, married once. He has completely blown himself up over an issue that everyone knew was coming. Have you had a chance to look at John McCain’s research operation on Mitt? Wow. And let me assure you, that thing has been supplemented, expanded, and annotated. God only knows about the Obama people — they’ve got a billion dollars! And how about my friends over at American Bridge, the Democrat-leaning political action committee? Clearly Mitt is merely in the beginning of this tax-return, financial-disclosure, Cayman Island (and God only knows what else) fiasco.”

This is what he had to say about Newt Gingrich:

“Your new front-runner is one of your old front runners, Newt Gingrich. I would like to take a moment to revel: I cannot personally tell you how pleased I am to see old Newt rise to the top after listening to all of your nauseating, sickening lectures on the evils of government and the importance of family values.Now, you guys have to deal with a $1.6 million Freddie Mac consultant (who says he wasn’t a lobbyist) who has been married three times. Hope you, at least, enjoy the Super Bowl. It could be your last hurrah for a while.”

Finally, he concluded with this:

“PS — As my former boss once said, I feel your pain. That’s why I didn’t mention Rick Perry.”

Bravo Mr. Carville! Priceless stuff!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

More Lies At Last Night’s GOP Debate

Last night, the Republican Presidential candidates (what’s left of them, that is) held their 22nd debate thus far. If you missed it don’t worry, they have another one scheduled in just three days and then two more the following week.

By this time, the the remaining contenders Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney, Newt “3 Wives” Gingrich, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum, Ron “Racist” Paul and Rick “Count to 3” Perry have essentially already said all they have to say on any issue. Consequently, every debate now is simply a mishmash of each candidate uttering the words “Obamacare”, “socialist”, “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan”, “job creators”, “regulations”, “class warfare”, “abortion”, “entitlements” and “one man and one woman” in between the same old lies and misstatements. Conspicuously missing from virtually all of these debates are the terms “working class” and “middle class”. Hmmm…wonder why?

Because of the numerous and repetitive nature of these Republican debates, fewer and fewer people are actually taking the time to tune in to watch them. To do otherwise would be like watching the same rerun episode of “The Bachelor” over and over again. Simply put, there is very little new and substantive material emerging from each subsequent debate.

Occasionally however, a few new and unique lies and misstatements do surface. But do not worry, we are not suggesting that you watch the debates to learn about all the misinformation the GOP candidates spew out as fact. We will take one for the team (that’s “toftt” in cool computer talk) and watch these charades for you and then identify all the Republican lies and confusion right here. So, here we go. This is all the garbage from last night’s debate in South Carolina.

First of all, we should mention that the audience once again behaved like a group of drunken lunatics who are incapable of controlling their outbursts or whooping and screaming. Their behavior makes the GOP debates seem more like an evangelical revival meeting than a serious political forum. This crazy crowd even took to booing in the middle of questions. One example is when moderator Juan Williams was questioning Mitt Romney about immigration and mentioned that Romney’s father was born in Mexico. Before he could finish the question, “Boos!” came raining down from the audience. What could they possibly have been displeased about at that point, the fact that Romney’s father was born in Mexico or the fact that Williams revealed this truth? At another point, Ron Paul was booed when he said the United States should use “the Golden Rule” – do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Can you believe it? This wacky audience was booing “the Golden Rule”. This was very reminiscent of past GOP debate audiences cheering about the uninsured dying from their illnesses and cheering the fact that Rick Perry has executed more people than any other governor. What is next? Will Republican audiences boo the mail-carrier’s motto of “Neither snow nor rain nor gloom of night…”?

As for the lies and misstatements in last night’s debate, The Boston Globe has provided a fine fact-check column on the subject in today’s edition. Mitt Romney, as usual, was the biggest offender. First, Mitt Romney said “This president has opened up no new markets for American goods around the world in his three years, even as European nations and China have opened up 44.” Wrong! In fact, the Globe reminds us that “Obama revived (expired) Bush-administration-era free-trade pacts with South Korea, Panama and Columbia, all passed by Congress in October, in the biggest round of trade liberalization since the North American Free Trade Agreement and other pacts of that era. In particular, the agreement with South Korea is designed to break down barriers between the United States and the world’s 15th-largest economy. The South Korea deal has the potential to create as many as 280,000 American jobs, according to a recent assessment by the staff of the U.S. International Trade Commission, and to boost exports by more than $12 billion.”

Romney also misinformed the American people about his involvement with Bain Capital and his now admittedly false claim that while heading that firm, he created hundreds of thousands of jobs. Last night Romney said, “We invested in well over 100 different businesses. And the people have looked at the places that have added jobs and lost jobs and that record is pretty much available for people to take a close look at.” Not so fast there Mitt. The Globe reports “Romney’s record as a venture capitalist at Bain Capital has been presented by his campaign highly selectively; namely, by detailing several big success stories and ignoring the job losses that resulted from Bain-owned plants and companies that closed or shrank their workforce. His overall record is not even close to being known, because it is so complex. Many of the companies are private, without the public disclosure requirements that big corporations have, and his campaign has not released details.”

A few moments later Romney said, “Three years into office, he doesn’t have a jobs plan.” Wrong yet again! The Globe reports “Obama has proposed several plans intended to spur the economy and create jobs. The most well-known was his stimulus plan, introduced in February 2009, which included about $800 billion in tax cuts and spending. At the end of 2010, Obama struck a deal with GOP congressional leaders on a package intended to stimulate hiring and growth. The deal cut the Social Security payroll tax, which provided about an extra $1,000 a year to an average family. It also extended an unemployment benefits program that provided up to 99 weeks of aid. And in September, Obama introduced his most recent jobs plan, rolling it out in a speech to the full Congress in which he urged Congress to “pass it right away.” It included $450 billion in tax cuts and new spending, including greater cuts to payroll taxes and tax breaks for companies that hire those who’ve been out of work for six months or more.”

Not to be outdone in the misinformation category, Rick Santorum lied about negative campaign ads. He said, “My ads have been positive. The only ad that I’ve ever put up has contrasted myself with the other candidates, and does so in a way talking about issues.” Wrong! The Globe points out that “Santorum is coming out with an ad this week accusing Romney of being “just like Obama” and saying Romney “once bragged he’s even more liberal than Ted Kennedy on social issues,” two negative assertions that go beyond a mere look at issues.”

Of course, when it comes to lying, few people are better than Newt Gingrich. Gingrich was using Chile’s retirement system consisting of private accounts as a model for overhauling our government guaranteed Social Security program. He said “First of all, it’s totally voluntary. If you want to stay in the current system, stay in it. If you are younger and you want to go and take a personal savings account, which would be a Social Security savings account, you can take it.” Wrong! The Globe reveals that “There is nothing voluntary about Chile’s system. It requires that all workers contribute 10 percent of their salaries to private pension plans, plus other fees for insurance, instead of a government program like Social Security.”

Poor Rick Perry just showed once again that he is not intellectually up to the challenge to debate with adults. He foolishly described Turkey — a key US ally and NATO member — as a state “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists.” This really does not matter however, as Perry will soon drop out of the race like so many other unqualified GOP candidates before him.

Because Rick Perry is about to disappear from the race, we dedicated today’s song parody to the dumbest Texan since George W. Bush.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But I do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

Great Scott, Elizabeth Warren Is Crushing Brown!

The Elizabeth Warren campaign received a belated Christmas present this week when her Federal Elections Committee filing revealed that she raised $5.7 million in the last quarter of 2011. Warren, the Massachusetts Democratic Party’s opponent to incumbent Republican Senator Scott Brown, is proving to be a more than formidable candidate. The support for Warren also appears to be substantially fueled by Massachusetts voters (predominantly Democrats) who are anxious to recapture Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat. Those voters consider it to have been an embarrassment when,  in 2010 Republican Scott Brown surprisingly won the special election for that seat with the help of gads of out of state Tea Party and Wall Street money.

Warren’s fourth quarter 2011 haul consisted of true grassroots support. She had 23,000 Massachusetts donors giving an average of $64.00 per person. Warren is also attracting a surprising amount of out of state money from Democrats who are aware that Brown’s (and the Republicans’) grasp on this Senate seat is quite tenuous. The $5.7 million raised by Warren easily outpaced the Brown campaign which raised $3.2 million during the same period. Warren’s campaign also walloped Brown’s in the third quarter of 2011 when she raised twice as much money as Brown. In fact, in the five months since Elizabeth Warren announced her candidacy last August, she has raised $8.8 million. In contrast, Brown has only raised $8.5 million during the entire twelve months of 2011.

Warren’s wide appeal stems from the national perception that she is a champion of the working/middle class and an opponent of the Wall Street system that caused our economy’s collapse. She was, of course, the architect of the new federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. The goal of that agency is to protect consumers from unscrupulous lenders, to insure that lending documents are written in plain English and not complicated legalese and to prevent another future taxpayer-funded bank bailout by means of subjecting the nation’s largest banks to periodic stress tests. Warren recently explained the mutual commitment between her and the working/middle class when she said, “From all across our Commonwealth, people are supporting our campaign and the fight to level the playing field for middle-class families.”

In stark contrast to the consumer-friendly appeal of Elizabeth Warren, Scott Brown was named by Forbes magazine as one of “Wall Street’s Favorite Congressmen.” Brown’s appeal to the Tea Party and conservative Republicans has also been on the wane as the result of his voting alongside Democrats and against the majority of Republicans on several hotly contested bills. Scott Brown is no longer the rising star of the Republican Party which he was projected to be when he took office in 2010. This became visibly apparent when Mitt Romney declined to have Brown speak on his behalf during the New Hampshire primary campaign despite the fact that Brown was one of his earliest endorsers. Consequently, it does appear as if Brown will be capable of raising nearly as much national money as he did in 2010.

Brown has other problems also. He injected himself into the spotlight last February when he issued a press release for his yet unreleased autobiography titled “Against All Odds: My Life of Hardship, Fast Breaks, and Second Chances”. That press release revealed for the first time that Brown had been a victim of childhood sexual abuse on at least three occasions and by two different deviants. Two of those molestations occurred at a Massachusetts summer camp and the other happened at an unidentified location. By including that bit of personal red meat in the pre-publication release, there is no denying that the revelation was intended to launch sales of his book. Brown however, has steadfastly refused to identify his molester and has also refused to assist law enforcement agencies in investigating the matter. When asked by local television station WBZ, at the time of the book’s release, if he would pursue his alleged sexual abuser, Brown said, “I have more important things to do… he’s probably in his 70s today.” Massachusetts Cape and Islands District Attorney, Michael O’Keefe reports that Scott Brown told him he didn’t want to pursue the case.

By means of his investigation obstruction, Scott Brown has painted himself into a corner from which he may not be able to escape without a permanent unsightly stain on his moral character. He had every right to keep his sexual abuse a private matter but as soon as he publicized and profited from the revelation the rules changed. Brown’s criminal allegations have been made public by the release of his book and Scott Brown now has a moral obligation to reveal the identity of his abuser if, for no other reason, than to prevent this sexual predator from hurting more children. It makes no difference that the criminal is “probably in his 70s” because there are numerous examples of convicted sexual predators in that age range and sexual predators tend to repeat their crimes. Scott Brown will need more than the Tea Party to win re-election in 2012. Massachusetts Republicans and Democrats may disagree on many issues, but protecting sexual offenders is not one of them.

The most recent poll conducted in December 2011 reveals waning support which spells trouble for the Scott Brown campaign. The UMass/Boston Herald poll reveals that Brown, who is routinely referred to as “Massachusetts’ Favorite Politician” is presently trailing Elizabeth Warren by 7 percentage points. If Brown wants to win this race, he might be forced to pull out all the stops and once again pose nude as he once did in Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Downtown song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku-1hqA5xw

SCOTT BROWN

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

And maybe you’ll see him bare
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – get right down on all fours
Scott Brown – don’t wait a minute more
Scott Brown – Larry Craig’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead !

And then there were five.

There is a little more room in the clown car known as the Republican field of Presidential wannabes today. Yesterday moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann quit the race after garnering only 5% of the vote in the Iowa caucuses. She joins other Bozos such as Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Chris Christie and Herman Cain to exclude themselves from the race. The only difference between Bachmann and the others however, is that Bachmann was the only certifiably insane person to actually make it to an election. The craziest banana in that bunch of course was Sarah Palin but she never entered the race. The next wackiest contestant as measured by the Koo-Koo Counter was Donald Trump but he too shied away from the race. Herman Cain of course, was called away by his girlfriends.

But back to Bachmann. She called a hasty press conference in Iowa yesterday and in the biggest understatement of the GOP primary season to date said, “Last night the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice and so I have decided to stand aside.” Gee, do ya think? Despite having been a native Iowan, Bachmann garnered about as much Hawkey respect as fellow Waterloo native, serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

Let’s not mince words, Michele Bachmann has been an irresponsible liar and historically ignorant politician for some time now. She has made a number of  outrageous and/or completely discredited factual statements as illustrated by the following gems compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann has said some darned crazy stuff. Indeed, she can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. The Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wanted to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history.

Ahhh Michele Bachmann we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Bachmann To Leave Presidential Race For Slot On “The Biggest Loser” (Updated)

So what did we learn from the Republican Iowa caucuses? Two things. The deeply flawed GOP Presidential field of candidates is still a mess and Michele Bachmann is unelectable.

The year of Republican indecision was made public last night for the first time when Iowa voters could not choose a candidate to support as their eventual GOP Presidential nominee. Technically, Mitt(wit) Romney was declared the winner of the first in the nation contest, but he won by only a few votes. Romney edged out Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum by only 8 votes and Ron “Racist” Paul finished a close third with 21% of the overall vote. Consequently, all three of those candidates will take seven of the 25 delegates up for grabs in Iowa. That’s right, the Iowa caucuses resulted in a three-way tie for for delegates in the race for 1,144 delegates required to capture the GOP nomination. There was no winner in Iowa and that state’s Republican voters could not manage to coalesce behind and support a single candidate to oppose Barack Obama in the general election.

The rest of the GOP field finished-up as follows. Newt “Freddie Mac” Gingrich (the most recent GOP frontrunner and “flavor of the month” finished fourth with 13% of the vote and Rick “3 Agencies” Perry captured 10%. Michele “HPV Vaccine Causes Mental Retardation” Bachmann and Jon “The Only Sane Adult in the Room” Huntsman each garnered only single digit support with 5% and 1% respectively.

Keep in mind however, that the Iowa caucuses are not a very good indicator of who will be the eventual Republican nominee. In 1980, George H.W. Bush finished ahead of Ronald Reagan. In 1988 Bob Dole beat George H. W. Bush and in 2008 Mike Huckabee bested John McCain. Hence, in the big picture, Iowa means very little when it comes to picking Presidential nominees. Consequently, the 2012 Republican game of “Presidential Musical Chairs” is likely to continue with a new frontrunner emerging in almost every primary election. The bottom line is that Republican voters do not care too much for any of their candidates. It is anybody’s guess as to which one of these unqualified clowns will eventually emerge as Obama’s opponent in the general election.

One thing is clear however. Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann are likely to drop out soon. Perry at one time was looked upon as the savior of the GOP by the evangelical conservative voting bloc who want anybody other than Mitt Romney. Upon entering the race, Perry shot to the top spot but quickly vaporized when the public realized that he was dumber than George W. Bush. Remember when he couldn’t name the three federal agencies that he wanted to disband? How about when he gave that speech in New Hampshire in which he appeared to be drunk or overly medicated? Here is a little reminder:

Michele Bachmann? It should have been apparent to everybody with a pulse that she was unqualified from the very day that she announced her candidacy. Bachmann is the moonbat-crazy Tea Party darling who claims that the legendary “Shot Heard Round The World” which started the American Revolutionary War was fired from New Hampshire. She also foolishly stated that the Founding Fathers “worked tirelessly to end slavery.” She also said that judges instruct little children “to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it.” She claims “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.” She said, “But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” She claimed that our new health care law would allow “that someone’s 13-year-old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have their abortion, be back and go home on the school bus. That night, mom and dad are never the wiser.” She said, “We’re running out of rich people in this country” and that the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation! It would appear that Michele Bachmann is the one suffering from mental retardation.

The Iowa results confirm that Bachmann is not a viable candidate. As the result of her earlier Ames Straw Poll victory in the state, she went “all in” on the Iowa Caucuses. She spent countless hours and resources campaigning there and repeated ad nauseam that she was born in Iowa. Her efforts were fruitless. By receiving only 5% of the vote, she earned the title as “The Biggest Loser”. Despite the fact that evangelical conservative Republicans will vote for most anybody in an attempt to deny Mitt Romney the nomination, even they will not support Michele Bachmann (or Rick Perry).

UPDATE: Bachmann quit today. Ahhh Michele we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bette Davis Eyes” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifDycyRNpcI

MICHELE BACHMANN EYES

 (sung to the Kim Carnes song “Bette Davis Eyes”)

Her hair is wild and bold
Her breath smells like fries
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s a Tea Party pawn
And she never thinks twice
She’s running out of dough
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’s out there all alone
Confused and so uptight
Don’t listen to her drone
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s made a fumble or two
Misspoken more than twice
Staffers quit on her too
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll tease you
She’ll unease you
Just to squeeze you
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’ll confuse you
And she’ll lose you
(fade to end)

More Palin Wailin’ and Complainin’

Sarah Palin has recently re-emerged in the public eye by means of announcing another season of her reality television show and by implying that she might yet enter the GOP Presidential race. Of course, when Mama Bear emerges from hibernation, the stupid is sure to follow. Lo and behold, it came today.

Palin appeared on Fox News (where else?) and criticized President Obama’s official White House holiday greeting card. In a nod to Fox News’ fictitious “War on Christmas”, she targeted the card for not emphasizing Christmas.

The card features an image of Bo, the Obama family dog, in front of a fireplace in the White House library with a poinsettia and other decorations. The text reads, “From our family to yours, may your holidays shine with the light of the season.”

Palin, who criticizes every single thing the President does, told Fox News that she found it “odd” that the card emphasizes the dog instead of traditions like “family, faith and freedom.” She also said that Americans are able to appreciate “American foundational values illustrated and displayed on Christmas cards and on a Christmas tree.”

Palin however, must be unaware of the official Holiday/Christmas cards issued by such past Presidents as Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan. How else could she explain her lack of criticism at those Republican Presidents who also chose to mail cards which lacked depictions of families and Christmas trees? Nixon’s card showed George Washington overseeing the construction of the White House without depicting one single image of Christmas. Ford’s card showed a wintery snow-covered exterior scene of an old farm house and livestock. Reagan’s card was very similar to Obama’s. It too featured an image of a White House fireplace with some holiday wreaths and floral decoration, but with no Christmas tree or emphasis of family. Indeed, the Reagan card did not even feature the American icon known as “the family dog”. Where was the conservative right-wing outrage at those Presidents? Hmmm…

Nixon Holiday Card 1971

Ford Holiday Card 1975

Reagan Holiday Card 1985

Sarah Palin has proven once again that she is a shallow, uneducated and petty person who has no sense of history. Is it really any wonder that she was so confused as to believe that Paul Revere was ringing bells and warning the British of the American colonists’ stock of firearms during his famous “Midnight Ride”?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpinzLXXp14

THE TWELVE DAYS OF PALIN CHRISTMAS

(sung to the Christmas carol “The Twelve Days Of Christmas”)

On the first day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Some hate from the Tea Party.

On the second day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the third day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the fourth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the fifth day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the sixth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the seventh day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the eighth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the ninth day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the tenth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Joe McGinnis peeping
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Willow and Piper griping
Joe McGinnis peeping
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
“Joe the Plumber” plumbing
Willow and Piper griping
Joe McGinnis peeping
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

Hooray!!! The Sarah Palin Comedy Show Redux !!!

Hold on to your seats folks. The fun may be set to begin again. Just when you thought you had laughed at every clown in the Koch Bros. and Tea Party Flying Circus, we may have a new entertainer re-emerging. No, not Herman Cain. Nope, not Chris Christie. We are not even speaking of The Donald. We may have ourselves a genuine mental case resurfacing in the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Ladies and gentlemen please rise and put your hands together for none other than “The Alaska Disaster”, “The Queen of Quit”, Sarah Palin!

Seriously. This is not a joke. While appearing on Fox News (where else?) last night, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said that she may enter the race despite her firm pronouncement to the contrary on October 5th. When asked by the host whether anybody else might still get involved in the presidential race, Palin said “It’s not too late for folks to jump in. Who knows what will happen in the future.”

Bloggers everywhere are now salivating. There is nothing more entertaining than watching Sarah Palin make a public fool of herself as she tries to make a point. Remember the time when she was speaking at that farm while a poor turkey was having his head chopped off right behind her? How about the time she was caught with crib-notes  written on her hand during a televised interview? Who will ever forget the time that she completely botched the purpose and method of Paul Revere’s famous Midnight Ride just after she visited the Old North church in Boston? Then there was the time when she could not tell a 5th grader what the Vice president does. Most entertaining of all, of course, were her hilarious televised interviews with Katie Couric and Charles Gibson. Ahhh, those halcyon days of Palin!

This may be the best Christmas present many of us could possibly hope for.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday season inspired song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND (Part 2)

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Intellect, you are missing
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
What’s that sound that you’re hissing?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold some books and made a lot of dough, man
They had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland