Blog Archives

Sarah Palin Memorial Month Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This column was originally posted on October 29, 2010. It comments upon Sarah Palin’s backing away from Delaware senate candidate Christine O’Donnell after it became apparent to everyone that O’Donnell was crazy.

Palin Is Bailin’ On Failin’ O’Donnell

It has been less than two months since Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Christine O’Donnell for Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat. On September 8th, the “Queen of Quit” retweeted a tweet from conservative radio host Tammy Bruce to her over 200,000 alleged followers. The tweet said, “@ChristineOD is great, her election must [be] a major focus for us all.” Palin then officially broke the news by calling her Fox News “BFF” Sean Hannity. Hannity then quickly sent out a Twiiter tweet which said, “Thanks @SarahPalinUSA for the last minute call in. Endorsement of Christine O’Donnell was an exclusive. Said she hadn’t told Christine yet.” Immediately thereafter, O’Donnell tweeted, “Just got Gov. Palin’s endorsement! Thank you for your prayers!” Yikes, what a frightening love triangle comprised of Palin, conservative talk radio and O’Donnell.

But, a funny thing happened on the way to a joint Palin/O’Donnell campaign appearance. O’Donnell was exposed as an unqualified fool. The whole nation became aware of her “dabbling in witchcraft”, “satanic alter” picnics, masturbation ban, evolution denying, tax evasion, college degree mystery, campaign donation games and finally, her complete misunderstanding of the United States Constitution. Nevertheless, Sarah Palin is a stalwart, loyal and dedicated supporter of her “Mama Grizzlies”. So, what did she do to rehabilitate O’Donnell’s image? Nothing. She quietly faded from the scene and thus far has avoided any attempted joint public appearance.

Our advice to Christine O’Donnell? Don’t hold your breath. There are only 3 days left before the election and Sarah Palin has hitched her caboose to the “Tea Party Express Traveling Kool-Aid Show and Freak Emporium”, which will purposely steer well clear of the Blue Hen State. Palin has made it absolutely clear that O’Donnell is persona non grata (btw, for you G.O.P. readers, persona non grata means “an unwelcome person”).

This is not surprising. Sarah Palin changes her allegiances as often as she changes her Naughty Monkey heels. When is the last time you heard her mention Meg Stapleton, Ivy Frye, Kris Perry, Kristan Cole or even Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman for that matter? Palin is fickle and loves front-runners and unfortunately for O’Donnell, the flavor of the day is Joe “computer tampering” Miller and Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. Don’t believe it, Christine? Then try contacting Sarah by telephone and see if she will “get back to ya on that”!

Face it, Christine. You are on your own till Tuesday when you become a footnote in history. Here is a little advice until then. You might consider resisting the urge to don your lady-bug costume, get blasted and go on a manhunt this pre-election Halloween. You already carry enough baggage.

A Halloween to remember.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired parody.

Witchy Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d8hZtvRPno

WITCHY WOMAN (O’DONNELL VERSION)

(sung to the Eagles song “Witchy Woman”)

Crazy stare on Bill Maher’s clips
She is one of Palin’s dips
O’Donnell is our delight
She’s a crazy Tea-Bagger that’s not too bright
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

I watched Bill Maher the other night
O’Donnell was so uptight
She said Charles Darwin was out of tune,
And his evolution theory was so untrue
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

(masturbation break with oohs and ahhhs)

She can’t seem to keep a lover,
Let me tell ya brother, she’s been sleeping in the Devil’s bed.
And there’s some rumors going round,
Polls are headed down
November will be the right time
To strike this witch dead

Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

Advertisements

Tea Baggers Are Hooked On Koch/Cain!

Photo credited to AddictingInfo.org

It looks like the Koch Brothers have found their man and his name is Herman Cain.

Charles and David Koch of course, are the billionaire brothers who own Koch Industries which happens to be the largest privately owned company in the United States. That business was also recently implicated by Bloomberg Markets as having illegally sold millions of dollars worth of equipment to Iran in violation of United States laws.  The brothers have used their immense wealth in every way possible to influence and maintain governmental policies which keep the rich wealthy and make them richer, while decreasing the wealth of the working and middle classes. The Koch brothers fund conservative and libertarian policy and advocacy groups such as the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute and the Tea Party parent organization known as Americans for Prosperity. The AFP’s agenda includes weakening private and public sector unions, opposing environmental regulations and undoing Obama’s health care reform law, among other policies. To date, the Koch brothers have donated more than $100 million to these and similar organizations. In fact, Koch Industries has spent more than $50 million to lobby in Washington since 2006, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.

Herman Cain of course, is the self-defined political outsider in the present crop of Republican Presidential candidates. He is the former CEO of the second-rate fast-food chain known as Godfather’s Pizza. Cain insists that his outsider status and real-world experience differentiates him from political insiders who have been influenced by lobbyists. In other words, Cain portrays himself as being clean and unblemished by politics and the crony-capitalism that has fueled the ire of both the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street movements.

Unfortunately for Cain, his self-description is not accurate. The Washington Post reports that Cain’s economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to the Koch brothers. The Post reports,

“Cain’s campaign manager and a number of aides have worked for Americans for Prosperity, or AFP, the advocacy group founded with support from billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch, which lobbies for lower taxes and less government regulation and spending. Cain credits a businessman who served on an AFP advisory board with helping devise his “9-9-9” plan to rewrite the nation’s tax code. And his years of speaking at AFP events have given the businessman and radio host a network of loyal grassroots fans.”

Cain must realize that his ties to the Koch brothers and AFP will not sit well with many voters. The Post further reveals, “While Cain is quick to promote his career at the helm of the Godfather’s Pizza chain, his ties to AFP aren’t something the candidate appears eager to highlight. Cain does not include his AFP work on his biography on his website.”

Well Herman, you know what they say: You can run but you cannot hide.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody which was inspired by loyal Rocketeer, Sharon Antoinette Alexander.

Cocaine” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4spg8vyo

KOCH/CAIN

(sung to the Eric Clapton song “Cocaine”)

If you’re having some doubt at who to kick about, Koch/Cain
If you’re laying face down, down on the ground, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

If you watch Fox News, you’ll see they love those dudes, Koch/Cain
Mitt Romney is done but this bunch is fun, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

(election influencing break)

Rick Perry is gone so they bought a new pawn, Koch/Cain
But this is a fact, Herm Cain don’t know jack, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

Elizabeth Warren Gets Under Scott Brown’s Exposed Skin

This is what Elizabeth Warren thinks of Scott Brown's centerfold.

The race for Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat is heating up. You might recall that after Kennedy passed away in 2009, a special election to fill his seat was held in January 2010. As the result of out of state Tea Party money and some local Democratic Party apathy, Republican Scott Brown won that election. The very next day, Massachusetts Democrats vowed to re-energize themselves so as not only to recapture Kennedy’s Senate seat in 2012 but to ensure that Democrats hold on to every elected position which they control in the bluest of blue states.

As the month’s passed, Scott Brown’s popularity began to wain both nationally and in Massachusetts. The radically conservative Tea Baggers were angered at Brown as the result of his siding with Democrats on some crucial Senate votes such as on an expensive jobs bill and he has repeatedly sided with Democrats on cloture votes which served to defeat Republican filibusters of Democratic bills. He has also lost luster amongst Bay Staters because he has been legislatively insignificant (as compared to Kennedy) and because he has been seen by many as a person who is willing to enable a child molester to continue offending. In his recently released memoir, Brown admitted that he was sexually molested as child at a local summer camp, but he has refused every request from law enforcement officials to identify the criminal so that he may be apprehended.

The strengthening wave of Democratic momentum and the ebbing tide of enthusiasm for Scott Brown became most evident last November during the national midterm elections. Brown’s seat was not up for election, but most every other statewide seat was in contest. The startling result was that in an election where Republican candidates won in a landslide of national elections and captured control of the US House of Representatives, the Brown-endorsed GOP candidates lost every single statewide race in Massachusetts. This made the Democratic party even stronger in that state than it was prior to Brown’s election. Suddenly Scott Brown’s formerly iron-clad grasp on the Senate seat was showing signs of weakness. What the Democrats needed however, was a strong challenger.

Enter Elizabeth Warren. The Harvard Law School professor and architect of the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau recently declared her candidacy. She brought instant momentum in the form of national support (and the out of state money which comes with that) and her high profile energized Massachusetts Democrats. In less than a month after announcing her candidacy, Warren vaulted ahead of Brown in the polls. Next, she gave an impromptu speech at the home of a local supporter which was captured by an attendee’s video camera.  Her impassioned delivery of the progressive message that government helps not only the needy but also the well to do became an instant viral YouTube hit.

Seizing upon her gaining momentum, Warren then had a little fun at last week’s Massachusetts Democratic Senate debate. She chided Scott Brown on at least two occasions. First she declared that unlike Brown, she would would not be named “Wall Street’s Favorite Senator”.

Next, when asked how she paid for her college education, Warren jokingly answered, “I didn’t take my clothes off.” This was a lighthearted jab at Scott Brown for his decision to pose nude in Cosmopolitan magazine to finance his law school tuition. Brown however, took offense. He appeared on a Boston radio station a few days later and when asked by the host what his response to Warren’s comment would be, he answered, “Thank God.” Brown then gaffed however, by saying that unlike Warren, “I didn’t go to Harvard, I went to the school of hard knocks and I did whatever I had to do to pay for school.” Problem is, Elizabeth Warren did not go to Harvard either. In fact, the schools attended by Brown (Tufts University and Boston College Law School) are both “expensive, private, liberal elitist East Coast schools” as compared to the schools (University of Houston and Rutgers School of Law) which Warren attended.

There is no question that Elizabeth Warren has gotten under the very exposed skin of Scott Brown.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

I’M DOWN (ON SCOTT BROWN)

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)

Scott’s tellin’ lies thinking I can’t see
That nude guy is so blind he can’t see
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

We’ll all sing when he’s voted away
Brown’s short fling will be over in days
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

Once he’s dethroned, he’ll be all by himself
Scott will moan: “They wanted somebody else!”
I’m down (I’m really down)
Let’s vote him down (Vote down Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

(Wow! Scott’s goin’ down!)

Whoo, baaby!

Oh Scott, you’re soon going down (He’s goin’ down)
I guess your down (He’s really down)
We’re down on Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Scott! Brown! (He’s goin’ down)
Let’s hang him upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, he’s down (He’s really down)
Scott baby you’re down (He’s really down)
Let’s hang him upside down (Let’s watch him frown)
Ooh, that Brown (He’s such a clown)
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scottie, you’re down (You’re really down)
Scott baby you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie, Scottie, Scottie! (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
You’re down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  yeh, whoa!!!

Ding, Dong The Witch Is Dead!

Sarah Palin has finally confirmed what everybody already knew. On Wednesday she announced that she will not be running for President of the United States in 2012. Pretty much everybody except Palin already knew this in light of the fact that virtually every poll since last year indicated that vastly more people would reject her campaign than would support it. The plurality of Democrats, Republicans, Independents and even Tea Partiers have time and again sent the message that they had lost all interest in a Palin candidacy. Sarah Palin’s 15 minutes of fame lasted three years, but like all vapid and talentless celebrities, she was unable to maintain relevance and serious interest for too long. She had become a caricature of herself. Yesterday’s announcement sounded the death knell for Palin’s future political career and it will also most likely end her sideshow job as a Fox News commentator. In short, Sarah Palin is no longer the “It” girl and she never will regain that title again.

It seems fitting that Sarah Palin chose the Halloween season to announce the end of her career as a person of interest. She is after all, sort of a blundering, stumbling man-made monster. Just three short years ago almost nobody had ever heard of Sarah Palin. The G.O.P. was led by such familiar names as Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, a resurgent Newt Gingrich and the actor Fred Thompson. Then the unexpected happened. Somehow the centrist John McCain won the Republican Presidential nomination. McCain however, was trailing Democrat Barack Obama by such a wide margin that he was forced to do something drastic in order to draw some attention to his campaign. Much like the literary Dr. Frankenstein, McCain was compelled to create some life from scratch. He stitched together some uber-right-wing conservatism, some female DNA, some down-home colloquialisms, a beehive hairdo and some rimless glasses. His handmade creation was Sarah Palin.

Much like Dr. Frankentein’s monster however, the McCain creation also suffered from some fatal flaws. They both had a damaged brain. Each became stronger and more identifiable than its creator. Both wreaked havoc on society and in the end, the Frankenstein monster and Sarah Palin each turned against their respective creators and embarked on a reign of terror.

The Palin thing was alive, ALIVE! This 21st century mindless monster quit her job as Governor and stumbled out of the wilds of Alaska on her way to the Lower 48. Unable to master the written word, the pathetic creature hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir. Unable to master the spoken word, Palin turned to Twitter and Facebook as her means of communication. Unable to appear human on television, she was forced to appear repeatedly on Fox News. The thing that became known as PALIN  sowed fear into the hearts of all uneducated conservatives with her horrific tales of “death panels”, the godless land of Russia that she could see by means of her super-human vision and of her arch enemy, the would-be monster slayer, author Joe McGinniss.

Unlike the Frankenstein monster however, the Palin thing began to amass a large and adoring following. Sure, these devotees were comprised of racist, white, uneducated homophobes from the lowest rung of the food chain, but beggars can’t be choosers. The Palin thing’s fan base became known as the Tea Party (presumably because some mind-altering hallucinogen was slipped into their tea). These Tea-Baggers are a mindless lot that confusingly wants no government control over their government controlled Medicare and Social Security benefits. They hate the Obama administration because of his fictitious tax increases despite the fact that over 95% of them have actually benefited from the President’s middle class tax cuts. The Tea-Baggers crowned the Palin thing as their de facto queen.

The Palin thing’s Tea Party royalty status is the biggest problem for the creature’s former party.  Before John McCain’s monster was created, the whacko Tea-Baggers were all firmly entrenched members of the Republican Party. They voted in lockstep for every Republican they could find thereby ensuring at least some electoral success for the party. The creation of the Palin thing has changed all of that. The Tea-Baggers are now actively seeking candidates from within their own super-radical ranks. These Tea Party candidates are so out of the mainstream that they oppose meaningful portions of the Civil Rights Act (Rand Paul). They hope to privatize Social Security (Rand Paul, Michele Bachmann), criminalize the consumption of alcohol (Sharron Angle), deregulate the oil industry (despite the Gulf oil spill) (Ron Paul), abolish the Dept. of Education (too many to name here), ban masturbation (Christine O’Donnell) and even remove fluoride from the nation’s water supply (Sharron Angle). This is crazy stuff that has drawn votes away from Republicans in favor of unelectable radicals and the Palin thing adds to the chaos by endorsing these candidates.

Like the legendary Frankenstein monster however, the Palin-thing quickly outwore her welcome. She attacked everything in sight and damaged everything she came in contact with (like American history for instance). She engaged in verbal battles and name-calling with former allies like Karl Rove, Meghan McCain and even Fox News co-workers Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly. She stole the spotlight from actual GOP presidential candidates by “coincidentally” giving speeches in early primary states on the exact same dates that the candidates were speaking. She even committed the unforgivable sin of appearing on a realty television program which is the modern-day nursing home for washed up celebrities. She was out of control and most every American finally realized that THE PALIN THING MUST BE DESTROYED!

First the mainstream Republicans avoided Palin whenever they could. Next, the radically conservative radio talk show hosts began poking fun at her absurdity. Soon thereafter, the general public grew tired of her and attacked her with diminishing poll results. Finally, even her most loyal supporters, the Tea Party members, abandoned ship after Palin continued to demand their monetary donations without rewarding their support with any indication that she would seek political office. All of America finally gathered up their pitchforks and torches so as to put and end to Sarah Palin once and for all.

With her announcement yesterday, Sarah Palin spared the masses the unpleasant task of putting her down. The former ex-quitting half-term governor did “the honorable thing” and ended her own political existence. America can now concern itself with extinguishing the nine remaining mini-monsters that comprise the field of Republican presidential candidates.

In memory of the Palin-thing let’s take one last look at some of her greatest hits.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu7hxguhFfI

ALASKAN PIE (Version Two)

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Karl Rove sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Tea Baggers for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
How soon before Fox News says, “You must go”?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for three years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Legal problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
You’re a joker on the sidelines, little lass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit the race and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the people beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Let’s hope that he’s not jokin’
The “barracuda’s” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
Today her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Are You Ready For Some Wacky Tea-Baggers On Display Tonight?

What a dilemma! What to watch on the boob-tube tonight? Do we tune in to watch the first Monday Night Football games of the 2011 season or do we entertain ourselves with the sure to be hilarious CNN/Tea Party Express Republican Debate?

On the one hand we have the All-American New England Patriots with their red, white and blue uniforms and helmets adorned with either Elvis wearing a tri-cornered hat or their throwback “Pat Patriot”. By name, colors and logo alone, the Patriots are certainly America’s most patriotic football team. Indeed, the original “Tea Party” actually took place in their own backyard. Yet, on the other hand, we have a series of debate questions being submitted by intellectually challenged old white men and women who are also sure to be wearing tri-cornered hats along with George Washington and Captain America costumes!

Decisions. Decisions. Both events will take place in Florida. The Patriots game is certain to feature a bunch of players huddling together before the game in prayer as well as blessings to God every time a touchdown is scored. Simultaneously, many of the GOP debaters are also likely to repeatedly praise the Lord while denying the existence of science and evolution.

The football fans at privately owned and corporately sponsored Sun Life Stadium will whine and complain about the high price of tickets, beer and concessions. The Tea-Baggers are certain to complain about the high price of gas and the government-funded program known as Medicaid.

During the football game we are likely to be entertained by clever football fans displaying witty homemade signs about their favorite players. During the debate we are likely to be entertained by not so clever Tea-Baggers displaying hilariously misspelled homemade signs which make no sense.

During the football game we will be thrilled by the amazing athletic abilities of professional athletes. During the debate we will be confused by tongue-tied double-talking Republican presidential candidates who know no words other than “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan” and “Obamacare”.

It is truly a very difficult decision as to what to watch tonight. Each of you will have to make-up your own mind. As for me, I believe that laughter cures all ills, so I will tune-in to the comedy show known as the CNN/Tea Party Express Debate. Besides, there is a second Monday Night Football game this evening featuring the Denver Broncos and the Oakland Raiders which begins at 10:15 PM EST, long after the debate has concluded.

Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Waiting For The Palin-Thing

As we approach the Labor Day weekend and the de-facto end of summer, there is very little earth-shattering news to report about other than that earthquake off Alaska. Indeed, there is very little political news at all. All we have is the never-ending will-she or won’t-she talk about Sarah Palin. No, we are not wondering whether she will announce her run for the presidency this weekend. She will not. Rather, as always, we must wonder whether she will even show-up at her scheduled speeches In Iowa and New Hampshire.

In typical Palin fashion, the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska has enveloped herself in confusion. First she informed us that she would be making an important speech at a Tea Party event in Iowa. Then she announced that she would also be speaking in New Hampshire. She then said that as the result of unspecified problems she was having with the Tea Party organizers, that she might forfeit that event and do something else in Iowa. Now she claims that she will in fact appear at the original Iowa event. Confused? You should be.

Sarah Palin is one strange duck. Let’s take a look at how the Palin-thing was unleashed on America in the first place.

Just three short years ago almost nobody had ever heard of Sarah Palin. The G.O.P. was led by such familiar names as Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, a resurgent Newt Gingrich and the actor Fred Thompson. Then the unexpected happened. Somehow the centrist John McCain won the Republican Presidential nomination. McCain however, was trailing Democrat Barack Obama by such a wide margin that he was forced to do something drastic in order to draw some attention to his campaign. Much like the literary Dr. Frankenstein, McCain was compelled to create some life from scratch. He stitched together some uber-right-wing conservatism, some female DNA, some down-home colloquialisms, a beehive hairdo and some rimless glasses. His handmade creation was Sarah Palin.

Much like Dr. Frankentein’s monster however, the McCain creation also suffered from some fatal flaws. They both had a damaged brain. Each became stronger and more identifiable than its creator. Both wreaked havoc on society and in the end, the Frankenstein monster and Sarah Palin each turned against their respective creators.

The Palin thing was alive, ALIVE! This 21st century mindless monster quit her job and stumbled out of the wilds of Alaska on her way to the Lower 48. Unable to master the written word, the pathetic creature hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir. Unable to master the spoken word, Palin turned to Twitter and Facebook as her means of communication and wrote crib-notes on her hands. Unable to appear human on television, she was forced to appear repeatedly on Fox News and in her own reality tv series. The thing that became known as PALIN  sowed fear into the hearts of all uneducated conservatives with her horrific tales of “death panels”, the godless land of Russia that she could see by means of her super-human vision and of her arch enemy, the would-be monster slayer, author Joe McGinniss.

Unlike the Frankenstein monster however, the Palin thing began to amass a large and adoring following. Sure, these devotees were comprised of racist, white, uneducated homophobes from the lowest rung of the food chain, but beggars can’t be choosers. The Palin thing’s fan base became known as the Tea Party (presumably because it is believed that something was slipped into their tea). These Tea-Baggers are a mindless lot that confusingly wants no government control over their government controlled Medicare and Social Security benefits. They hate the Obama administration because of his fictitious tax increases despite the fact that over 95% of them have actually benefited from the President’s middle class tax cuts. These Tea-Baggers have crowned the Palin thing as their de facto queen.

The Palin thing’s Tea Party royalty status is the biggest problem for the creature’s former party.  Before John McCain’s monster was created, the whacko Tea-Baggers were all firmly entrenched members of the Republican Party. They voted in lockstep for every Republican they could find thereby ensuring at least some electoral success for the party. The creation of the Palin thing has changed all of that. The Tea-Baggers are now actively seeking candidates from within their own super-radical ranks. These Tea Party candidates are so out of the mainstream that they oppose meaningful portions of the Civil Rights Act (Rand Paul). They hope to privatize Medicare and Social Security (Rand Paul, Paul Ryan), criminalize the consumption of alcohol (Sharron Angle), deregulate the oil industry (despite the Gulf oil spill) (Rand Paul), abolish the Dept. of Education (too many to name here), ban masturbation (Christine O’Donnell) and even remove fluoride from the nation’s water supply (Sharron Angle). This is crazy stuff.

Crazy, but Sarah Palin supports these radical views. Indeed, The National Review reports that she will use her speech in Iowa to defend the Tea Party against the criticism that it is an uncompromising bunch of misinformed idiots. ABC News adds that Palin’s speech will be a “full-throated defense of the Tea Party.” So there you have it. Sarah Palin will continue dithering as to whether she will run for President through at least the end of September. Guess we will have to keep on waiting for Palin.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj2bmQ4P4cM

SARAH PALIN’S CRAZY BRAIN-DEAD CLAN

(sung to the Beatles song “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”)

About twenty years ago or so,
Sarah Palin married Todd her beau
They’ve been trying to enhance her style
With rimless glasses and a great big smile
So may I introduce to you
The folks you’ve known for all these years,
Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan.

We’re Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan,
The folks that you’ve all come to know
We’re Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan,
You wouldn’t want to be our foe.

Sarah Palin’s crazy, Sarah Palin’s crazy,
Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan.

She loves to instill deep fear
“Death panels” if you will
We are her brain-dead audience,
We’d love to take her home with us,
We’d love to take her home.

We don’t really want to end this show,
But Track Palin just produced some blow.
And now Bristol’s firing-up her bong
Sarah says that they can do no wrong

So let us bid adieu, to you
We’ve been with you for the last three years
We’re Sarah Palin’s Crazy Brain-Dead Clan.

The Inconvenient Truth About Rick Perry

This pretty much sums it up.

It was just a couple of weeks ago when Texas gov. Rick Perry entered the GOP presidential candidates’ race and skyrocketed to the top of the polls. He was the big man on campus (actually, like George W. Bush he was a male cheerleader in college but that is beside the point). He was the soup of the day. He was the savior of the Republican Party.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the Presidency. People began to look at Rick Parry’s record.

First his Texas miracle was called into question. We learned that although Texas has been creating jobs, it leads the nation in jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage and with no benefits. Perry also boasted that the federal govt. is too bloated and it should look to Texas as a model of how to create employment. Unfortunately for Perry, it was then revealed that Texas’ largest employer is actually the federal govt. (Fort Hood). Also despite Texas’ job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.4 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.6 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. On the contrary, Texas has the highest percentage of uninsured residents in the nation.

Speaking of health care, Rick Perry’s adamant opposition to health care reform was also called into question this week. You see, like flip-flopping Mitt Romney, Perry was also for health care reform before he was against it. The Daily Caller reports that in 1993, while serving as Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Perry praised the efforts of then-first lady Hillary Clinton to reform health care, a precursor to Obama’s health care reform efforts. In a letter to Ms. Clinton he wrote, “I think your efforts in trying to reform the nation’s health care system are most commendable” and “Again, your efforts are worthy, and I hope you will remember this constituency as the task force progresses.” Clinton’s health care proposal was of course, a single payer universal health plan. Ouch! That is going to leave a mark which the Tea Baggers will not miss.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

We also learned this week that Rick Perry supported the liberal Democrat Al Gore in the 1988 Presidential election. Gore of course, is the champion of the global warming movement while Perry denies the science of its existence. This will prove to be a particularly “Inconvenient Truth” for the Perry campaign.

It has not taken long for his Republican challengers to attack Rick Perry in his moment of weakness. Moonbat-crazy Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann supporters have already released the following ad:

It appears that Rick Perry’s day in the sun is coming to an end. Republicans are beginning to chant, “Read My Lips, No New Texans!” Who will be the next Republican savior? Chris Christie? Marco Rubio? Sarah Palin? Jeb Bush? Who knows, perhaps things will come full circle and Donald Trump will re-enter the race.

Stay tuned.

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpPdl0StUVs

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY PERRY WISH-LIST

 (sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Have Yourself A Very Merry Christmas”)

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list
Rick loves the far right
He loves you, if you are Christian, rich and white

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list (merry Perry wish-list)
That’s if you’re not gay (that’s if you’re not gay)
If you are, then simply pray that gay away

Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure

Tea-Baggers will vote for Rick together
Jews are not allowed
Muslims too are barred and for that Rick is proud
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

(Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure)

Souvenirs of us and Rick together
He’s our sacred cow
Rick is our God on earth in the here and now
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

Perry wish-list
Perry wish-list

Tea Party Is Being Discarded In The Waste Heap of History

As time marches on, the Tea Party becomes more and more unpopular. No longer does a Tea Party rally garner large crowds. Both of the movement’s national conventions have been cancelled this year as the result of a lack of advance ticket sales. Furthermore, with every newly released poll, we learn that Americans have an increasingly negative view of the faux grass-roots movement. In short, the Tea Party is being pushed away by independent voters.

The most recent AP/GfK Poll released August 23rd reveals a sharp increase in the Tea Party’s “unfavorable” rating. Forty-six percent (46%) said they have a negative view of the movement while only 28% say they view it “favorably”. By the way, the increase by 10 points in the “unfavorable” category is all in the “very unfavorable” sub-category. The successive polls indicate the “unfavorable” views have been increasing since Tea Party-endorsed Republicans were elected to Congress in November 2010. Indeed, the sharpest declines have come since the Tea Baggers clamored for the United States to default on its obligations during the debt ceiling debate. In contrast, prior to the Tea Baggers actually having been elected to Congress back in June 2010, the movement’s “favorable” rating was 33% with its “unfavorable” rating being only 30%.

Mainstream Americans have caught on to the fact that Tea Partiers are the most confused and misinformed group of people since the “birthers”. Oh wait a second, they were the “birthers”. In any event, let’s just take a look at their positions on some of the issues of the day. All through 2010 and prior to the passage of the new health care law, they ran around shouting and carrying misspelled signs with the message “Leave My Medicare Alone” and “Keep Govt. Out Of My Medicare”. Nevermind the fact that the health care law had nothing to do with Medicare or that the program is 100% government run. They then proceeded to support a number of Tea Party candidates in the mid-term elections who, once elected, immediately began trying to pass laws which would eliminate the Medicare program.

The Tea Partiers are also known for protesting higher taxes. The problem is, taxes are at their lowest level in over 60 years. Furthermore, President Obama has not not increased one single tax since being elected. Instead, he has actually cut taxes for 95% of working/ middle class Americans by means of his 2010 payroll tax decrease. They should be on their knees thanking President Obama and opposing the elected Tea Party members who are presently refusing to extend those tax cuts.

Is it any wonder that the average American has little use for the Tea Party and its colonial-costumed members? Ah, Tea Party we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Tea Party Express Embarks On 5th Tragical Misery Tour

Beware!!!

A busload of crazy may be coming to a town near you in the next few weeks. That’s right folks, the Tea Party Express has kicked-off a nationwide bus tour ala Sarah Palin’s faux family vacation. Its first stop was Napa, California and it will make 29 more stops before concluding on September 10th in Tampa, Florida just in time for the CNN/Tea Party Express GOP presidential debate.

The Tea Party Express likes to bill itself as a grassroots movement of like minded conservatives. That is a fallacy. The organization is not in any way a grassroots movement, unless you prefer your grass to be rooted in the gleaming offices of a well established political consulting firm which also just happens to siphon off most of the Tea Party group’s donations. You see, the Tea Party Express is a tool created by the GOP political consulting firm known as Russo, Marsh and Rogers. According to Federal Election Commission filings, more than 75% of the money spent by the Tea Party Express, about $1 million out of $1.3 million spent, went to Russo, Marsh or King Media Group, which has close ties to Russo. How’s that for capitalism at work? The misinformed Tea Baggers have apparently been duped once again into supporting something that is contrary to their stated intentions.

At their first stop in Napa on Saturday, the wacky Tea Partiers (many dressed-up like George Washington with tea bags hanging from their tri-corner hats and 1 guy appropriately wearing a dunce cap) were met by several dozen protesters. CNN reports that the protesters were loudly chanting “Hey ho, hey ho, the Tea Party has got to go!” and “Tax the rich!”. One protest sign read, “The Tea Party- Trashing America and the Economy.” There was also a giant inflated rat peering over the fence at the Tea Baggers.

The next stop was Elko, Nevada but it was evident that the tour was already losing steam. The Elko Daily Free Press reported that only about 75 supporters cared enough to show up. That was probably the result of Nevadans hoping to avoid another embarrassing singing performance by former losing Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle. Angle, you may recall, was a darling of Sarah Palin who ran for a Nevada U.S. Senate seat and lost last year. She advocated the complete privatization of Medicare and Social Security and her job creation plan was summed up as follows: “As your U.S. Senator, I’m not in the business of creating jobs”. Like most self-interested Tea-Baggers, Angle also attempted to hawk her book on her victims, oops, I meant audience. Watch video of Angle singing as well as the other disturbing clips which the San Francisco Chronicle has posted:  http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=96305

Yikes!

But really, what did we expect from the Tea Baggers? They are the most confused and misinformed group of people since the “birthers”. Oh wait a second, they were the “birthers”. In any event, let’s just take a look at their positions on some of the issues of the day. All through 2010 and prior to the passage of the new health care law, they ran around shouting and carrying misspelled signs with the message “Leave My Medicare Alone” and “Keep Govt. Out Of My Medicare”. Nevermind the fact that the health care law had nothing to do with Medicare or that the program is 100% government run. They then proceeded to support a number of Tea Party candidates in the mid-term elections who, once elected, immediately began trying to pass laws which would eliminate the Medicare program.

The Tea Partiers are also known for protesting higher taxes. The problem is, taxes are at their lowest level in over 60 years. Furthermore, President Obama has not not increased one single tax since being elected. Instead, he has actually cut taxes for 95% of working/ middle class Americans by means of his 2010 payroll tax decrease. They should be on their knees thanking President Obama and opposing the elected Tea Party members who are presently refusing to extend those tax cuts.

Anyway, over the next few weeks we are guaranteed a busload of laughs every time the Tea Party Express bus tour makes a stop.

All Aboard! Next stop, Cheyenne, WY followed by Lincoln and Omaha, NE and then Sioux City and Des Moines, IA.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978

IT’S OUR TEA PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Nobody knows just what planet we’re from
We have all lost our minds
But we will follow the plan
And misspell all of our signs

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Playin’ the race card because we’re all white
Swastikas define our style
When Glenn Beck’s eyes get teary
That just makes all of us smile

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

(misspelled sign making break)

Our Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
She tells us nothing but lies
We believe everything

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to…

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 89

Sorry about the late post but these beach days are cutting into Lynnrockets’ productivity!

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “She Said What?” features Republican presidential candidate and Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann. She appeared on a christian radio program this week and said that American citizens are telling her that one of their major concerns is the rise of the Soviet Union! Apparently Bachmann is unaware that the Soviet Union collapsed and dissolved in 1991. How do you spell “C-R-A-Z-Y”?

THIS JUST IN:  It was nice to learn (although not much of a peep from the media) that the two final Wisconsin recall elections took place last Tuesday and both Democratic Party incumbents (Jim Holperin and Bob Wirch) won convincingly.

BREAKING NEWS:  The Daily Kos reports that brand new Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry may face a little problem having to do with pornography. “Back in 1995, when his bouffant hairdo was barely all the rage, Rick Perry invested thousands of dollars into Movie Gallery, Inc, a porn distributor company. It was the largest distributor of porn movies, and was even opposed by the conservative American Family Association, the same organization that now claims to support Rick Perry after he showed up to host their prayer rally.” How is that for another example of “Republican Family Values”?

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Rick Perry, was anyone surprised to see that he was not so warmly welcomed in New Hampshire as he was in Iowa? The Boston Globe reports, “Hecklers carrying signs shouted from the sidewalk, “Stop attacking middle class families, Rick Perry,” as the smiling new presidential candidate shook hands and signed autographs. Perry, who declared his candidacy Saturday, was much more warmly received at visits today to Dover and Pembroke. For every admirer in Portsmouth who commended his work, there were several detractors armed with chiding questions about climate change, Social Security, or human evolution.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Republicans, Tea Baggers and conservatives of all ilk are taking  joy in criticizing President Obama’s vacation this week in Martha’s Vineyard, MA. They complain that he should be at the White House fixing the economy. These critics fail to mention however, that the Republican-led House of Representatives is on a MONTH long vacation instead of working on the economy. They also fail to mention that at the exact same time during his first term and while the nation was facing an unemployment rate of 9.5%, Ronald Reagan not only took a 25 day vacation, but his aides also stopped relaying news events to him so as not to disturb him. How is that for a monumental double-standard?

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of the Tea Party, did any of you notice that data collected by The New York Times reveals that the Tea Party is “less popular than much maligned groups like ‘atheists’ and ‘Muslims'”?

BREAKING NEWS: It looks like freshman U.S. Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) will face a strong Democratic Party challenger in next year’s election. The Washington Post reports “Elizabeth Warren announced that she’s starting an exploratory committee for a potential U.S. Senate run in Massachusetts. The news doesn’t come as much of a surprise. The Harvard Law professor, who recently stepped down from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau she originated, has been the subject of Senatorial speculation for months, if not longer.” The paper goes on to say, “Ironically, Warren has something Brown now doesn’t, at least to the same extent: Passion from her followers. Yes, Scott Brown may have been an early harbinger that the Tea Party movement was a force to be reckoned with, able to turn [Ted] Kennedy’s seat from blue to red in what may be the most progressive state in the county. But the Tea Party has soured on Brown since then, putting him on target lists and accusing him of throwing it under the bus for his critiques of budget cuts. Meanwhile, the fervor progressives feel for Warren is a rare thing in a Washington plagued with a 12 percent approval rating for Congress and a Democratic party that’s falling out of love with its president.” Looks like the clothing-challenged Brown may have his hands full. That is great news!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Scott Brown’s favorite birthday suit

Charlie Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk

SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Coasters song “Charlie Brown”)

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
He’s the senator that will bare his bum

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He likes to bare his bod
In those magazines
(That’s why everybody’s always pickin’ on me)

That’s him on his knees
I know that’s him
Yeah, from 7 come 11
Down in the Senate gym

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
Craig thinks that he’s hot
He hopes to steal a peek
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

Who’s always nude at the roll call?
Who’s lurking in the men’s room stalls?
Who’s sporting his bat and balls?
Guess who? (who me?) yeah, you!

Who walks through the Senate dumb and slow?
Who calls Mitch McConnell, Daddy-O?

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s going down, next time around
His votes can be bought
Just you wait and see
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

(musical interlude)

He is in the Party that says “No”
With his private parts swinging to and fro

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He’s showing a lot
His bum, his wee-wee
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)