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More Palin Wailin’ and Complainin’

Sarah Palin has recently re-emerged in the public eye by means of announcing another season of her reality television show and by implying that she might yet enter the GOP Presidential race. Of course, when Mama Bear emerges from hibernation, the stupid is sure to follow. Lo and behold, it came today.

Palin appeared on Fox News (where else?) and criticized President Obama’s official White House holiday greeting card. In a nod to Fox News’ fictitious “War on Christmas”, she targeted the card for not emphasizing Christmas.

The card features an image of Bo, the Obama family dog, in front of a fireplace in the White House library with a poinsettia and other decorations. The text reads, “From our family to yours, may your holidays shine with the light of the season.”

Palin, who criticizes every single thing the President does, told Fox News that she found it “odd” that the card emphasizes the dog instead of traditions like “family, faith and freedom.” She also said that Americans are able to appreciate “American foundational values illustrated and displayed on Christmas cards and on a Christmas tree.”

Palin however, must be unaware of the official Holiday/Christmas cards issued by such past Presidents as Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan. How else could she explain her lack of criticism at those Republican Presidents who also chose to mail cards which lacked depictions of families and Christmas trees? Nixon’s card showed George Washington overseeing the construction of the White House without depicting one single image of Christmas. Ford’s card showed a wintery snow-covered exterior scene of an old farm house and livestock. Reagan’s card was very similar to Obama’s. It too featured an image of a White House fireplace with some holiday wreaths and floral decoration, but with no Christmas tree or emphasis of family. Indeed, the Reagan card did not even feature the American icon known as “the family dog”. Where was the conservative right-wing outrage at those Presidents? Hmmm…

Nixon Holiday Card 1971

Ford Holiday Card 1975

Reagan Holiday Card 1985

Sarah Palin has proven once again that she is a shallow, uneducated and petty person who has no sense of history. Is it really any wonder that she was so confused as to believe that Paul Revere was ringing bells and warning the British of the American colonists’ stock of firearms during his famous “Midnight Ride”?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpinzLXXp14

THE TWELVE DAYS OF PALIN CHRISTMAS

(sung to the Christmas carol “The Twelve Days Of Christmas”)

On the first day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Some hate from the Tea Party.

On the second day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the third day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the fourth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the fifth day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the sixth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the seventh day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the eighth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the ninth day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the tenth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
Joe McGinnis peeping
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
Palin did send to me
Willow and Piper griping
Joe McGinnis peeping
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Sarah did send to me
“Joe the Plumber” plumbing
Willow and Piper griping
Joe McGinnis peeping
Todd sideways glancing
Eight folks she’s bilking
Seven Palins fibbing
Six pointless sayings
Five lame-ass zings
Four made-up words
Banned-book-ends
Crib-noted gloves
And some hate from the Tea Party.

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Christine “Witchy Poo” O’Donnell Stews In Her Own Brew

When she was shellacked last November in the Delaware U.S. Senatorial election, we thought we had heard the last of Christine O’Donnell. The Sarah Palin endorsed, anti-masturbation, Bible-thumping, witchcraft-dabbling Tea-Bagger had provided so much material for this blog and so many others that her sudden exit from the political scene was mourned by all. But, as Mark Twain once said, “the rumors of [Christine O’Donnell’s] demise have been greatly exaggerated”.

CNN reports that the Justice Department and the FBI has launched a criminal investigation into O’Donnell’s possible misuse of campaign funds. A source with knowledge of the probe confirmed to CNN that an investigation has been commenced, but the FBI and Justice Department have thus far made no comment. Justice Department spokeswoman Laura Sweeney acknowledged to CNN that the U.S. Attorney’s office in Delaware had agreed to review the initial complaint filed by watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics  (CREW). However, Sweeney declined to say whether federal prosecutors and FBI agents had gone beyond the initial review.

While running for the Senate in 2010, O’Donnell faced repeated questions about her finances including the alleged illegal use of her campaign donations as a personal piggy bank from which she paid her personal rent and personal travel expenses in 2009 when she was not running for any office. She attributed the rumors of impropriety to a disgruntled former campaign volunteer, David Keegan, who submitted an affidavit to CREW alleging misuse of campaign funds in a previous O’Donnell Senate bid. CREW subsequently filed complaints with the Federal Elections Commission and the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Delaware regarding O’Donnell’s finances, asking for investigations of her alleged use of campaign funds for personal expenses.

The former candidate who once felt compelled to deny she was a witch, now denies that she is a criminal and claims that any investigation is a “vendetta”. She not only blames the aforementioned Keegan for the criminal investigation, but also Vice President Joe Biden. “Given that the King of the Delaware Political Establishment just so happens to be the Vice President of the most liberal Presidential administration in U.S. history, it is no surprise that misuse and abuse of the FBI would not be off the table,” she said, while not denying the substance of any such probe. Not surprisingly, the Biden office felt no need to comment on O’Donnell’s spurious allegation.

If the past can be used as a tool to predict the future, how long will it be before Christine O’Donnell releases a television advertisement in which the opening line mimics those famous words uttered by disgraced Republican President Richard Nixon, “I am not a crook”?

Lynnrockets is simply glad that Christine O’Donnell is back in the news so that we can re-post one of our favorite song parodies.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Sympathy For The Devil song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk

SYMPATHY FOR O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy For The Devil”)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m in the Delaware race
I’ve been around for a couple of years
And I never masturbate

Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ
Has spoken through my campaign
He’ll keep Bill Maher quiet
Seal his mouth as I spread hate

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is my obsession with fame

Do you dare to trust my word
After I robbed my donors of their change
Paid my rent and then I secured
New furniture and a gas-fired range

The sulfur stank
Like a septic tank
On my witchcraft stage
Oh so dark and dank

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

That Sarah P.
Is my Tea-Bag Queen
I drank the Kool-Aid
That she proudly made

I shouted out
“Let’s kill Ted Kennedy”
Cuz his Health Plan’s
Killing you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I am Delaware’s disgrace
And a Tea Party troubadour
Singing lies every day of this race

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, oh yeah, get down, baby

(evolution denial break)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game, um yeah

Just as Medicare is criminal
Republicans are saints
Dumb as Dan Quayle
Just call me O’Donnell
Watch as I apply my war-paint

Coons will defeat me
He’ll refer to me
As the mental-case in this race
Use all his well-learned politics
As he lays my soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
O’Donnell is my name, um yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me honey, don’t ya love my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
If I lose this race, you’re to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who

Alright
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah