Blog Archives

Stick A Fork In Rick Perry Cuz He’s Done!

Rick Perry's New Hampshire speech.

Anybody who follows politics will tell you that Republican Rick Perry’s Presidential campaign is floundering. The one-time consensus favorite of the GOP base now performs poorly in polls and cannot seem to attract much financial support. His debate performances have been so disastrous that just last week he stated that he may not participate in any others. In short, Rick Perry is in trouble and he knows it.

This gives us all the more reason to question his bizarre stump speech antics last Friday in New Hampshire. His speech was slurred. He made crazy faces. He made odd references. Often times he made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. It was sad to see a potential Presidential nominee in this condition. It was even more tragic to think that a person such as this could aspire to occupy the highest office in the United States. After watching this performance, every Republican primary voter must ask him/herself if he/she would be willing to give a person such as this the most powerful position in the world.

As we have said so many times in the past, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then a video-clip is worth a million words.

The new Hampshire speech was probably Rick Perry’s Howard dean moment. Ah Rick Perry, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Come Monday song link:


 (sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday”)

Heading out from ol’ El Paso
For campaignin’ and making dough
Rick’s got his ten-gallon on
He’s got his Colt 45, now he can lock and load

And Romney, he didn’t know
That he’d be trailing his foe
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Yes, Rick Perry is a bummer
Simple talk and lack of brains
And he wants to lead our nation
Some things are hard to explain

His state’s unemployment rolls grow
Its graduation rates are so low
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
An academic haze back in his college days
His degree should have just been denied

Trouble raisin’ money
A hay-chewin’ dumb redneck cow
He’ll get the white vote in Montana
Cuz cowboys love him without a doubt

Rick craves Pennsylvania Ave. scenery
Those gals have nice smellin’ hair
He’ll love bowling on Tuesdays
Not to mention his gubmint health care

San Antonio has worn Rick quite thin
He’ll take care of his oil-drillin’ friends
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Rick Perry Finally Gives A Correct Response

The FrankenPerry Monster

Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry appeared on Fox News a/k/a  the GOP Propaganda Network on Tuesday evening and expressed regret over taking part in the Republican debates. When asked if he feels he had made any mistakes in his campaign thus far, Perry responded it was, “probably ever doing one of the debates. All they’re interested in is stirring it up between the candidates instead of really talking about the issues that are important to the American people.”

Finally, an honest answer from Rick Perry. Anyone who has “taken one for the team” and watched the Republican debates knows that Rick Perry is a disaster on stage. He is simply incapable of providing a coherent and on-point answer to any question. He also has a tendency to lose his temper and speak in tongues. Back in September, Fox News’ very own Brit Hume summed it up best when he described one of Perry’s debate performances as follows:

“Perry really did throw-up all over himself at the debate and at a time when he really did need to raise his game, … he did worse…Perry is about one half a step away from total collapse as a candidate…What keeps happening here is these people have a moment, they get into the race as Perry did and zoom to the top and everybody is in love, and then we get a dose of them… and they don’t seem so great.”

Well said Mr. Hume. Very well said.

Rick Perry however, has other things to worry about as his campaign progresses and Americans learn more about him. For instance, his Texas miracle has been called into question. We learned that although Texas has been creating jobs, it leads the nation in jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage and with no benefits. Perry also boasted that the federal govt. is too bloated and it should look to Texas as a model of how to create employment. Unfortunately for Perry, it was then revealed that Texas’ largest employer is actually the federal govt. (Fort Hood). Also despite Texas’ job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.5 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.3 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. On the contrary, Texas has the highest percentage of uninsured residents in the nation.

Speaking of health care, Rick Perry’s adamant opposition to health care reform has also called into question. You see, like flip-flopping Mitt Romney, Perry was also for health care reform before he was against it. The Daily Caller reports that in 1993, while serving as Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Perry praised the efforts of then-first lady Hillary Clinton to reform health care, a precursor to Obama’s health care reform efforts. In a letter to Ms. Clinton he wrote, “I think your efforts in trying to reform the nation’s health care system are most commendable” and “Again, your efforts are worthy, and I hope you will remember this constituency as the task force progresses.” Clinton’s health care proposal was of course, a single payer universal health plan. Ouch! That is going to leave a mark which the Tea Baggers will not miss.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps Rick Perry is the actual Ponzi Scheme that he so often references. It appears that Rick Perry’s day in the sun is coming to an end. Republicans are beginning to chant, “Read My Lips, No New Texans!”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a Gov. named Rick
Just like George Bush, a dumb and backwards hick
The Texans know they earn money for their food
Not cuz Rick’s around, it’s that bubbling crude
(Oil that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea)

As for sick folks Rick just hasn’t got a care
No insurance, all they have is prayer
Washington DC is the place he wants to be
So he threw his name in  for the Presidency
(Crazy that is, Bachmann, Newt Gingrich)

(academic probation break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Rick and all his kin,
He is in New Hampshire raisin’ dough and campaignin’
He doesn’t know squat ‘bout economic policy
But that does not matter to those fools that drink his tea.
(Perry’s a hillbilly, that’s what we’ll call him now, cow polk)
Y’all come back now, y’hear?