Like the famous Doctor Frankenstein, Sarah Palin has created her very own ungodly monster. Its name is Christine O’Donnell and she has emerged on the scene just in time to kick-off the Halloween season with tales of Satan-worship and witchcraft. Oh, this is just too good to be true.
What with the racist Rand Paul and the certifiably insane Sharron Angle, the Tea Party was already cursed for November’s general elections. Christine O’Donnell has just added to the Nightmare on Tea-Bag Street. This Sarah Palin endorsed “Mama Grizzly” has unexpectedly morphed into An American Werewolf in Delaware. She has more skeletons in her closet than Boris Karloff.
First, O’Donnell’s campaign took the hate-fueled approach of branding her Republican Party primary opponent Mike Castle as a homosexual in an attempt to inject prejudice and fear of the other into the race. Next, we learned that O’Donnell had lied about obtaining a college bachelor’s degree. The next few bones to fall out of the closet was the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and failed to pay previous campaign debts including wages to her employees. Soon thereafter, things got a little crazy when we learned that O’Donnell believes that masturbation is akin to committing adultery. This stuff alone should be enough to dissuade any sane Delaware voters from considering O’Donnell as their next US senator come November, but now we have the latest revelation.
Hold your pointy black hats! Christine O’Donnell has admitted to practicing witchcraft and dabbling in Satanism. Bill Mahar, the host of HBO show “Real Time With Bill Mahar”, revealed a video of O’Donnell from his now-cancelled show “Politically Incorrect” from 1999 wherein the Christian senatorial hopefull said, “I dabbled into witchcraft – I never joined a coven. But i did, I did…I dabbled into witchcraft.” She then went on to describe one of her dates with a witch “on a satanic alter”. She said, “there was a little blood there and stuff like that. We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a satanic alter.” Yikes, the evangelical christian sector of the Delaware GOP should be just thrilled with this. Let’s watch…
Oh please, Christine, do tell more. What, there is more? I was just kidding. Holy bats in the belfry, Batman! Bill Mahar says he has even more embarrassing tapes of O’Donnell which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his current program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”
Oh how the witch’s brew does boil and bubble! For Christine O’Donnell it sure spells trouble!
Will Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney still campaign on O’Donnell’s behalf or will this black magic stuff become the stake that finally dooms Count O’Donnell. Remember, back in 2008, it was Palin that made such a stink about Barack Obama’s association with Reverend Wright. Yet Wright looks like an angel when compared to the Satanists that O’Donnell was “pallin’ around with”. Tune in to Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off all this week for updates. Same bat time. Same bat channel.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.
Witchcraft song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIZIBm2QGaM
(sung to Frank Sinatra’s song “Witchcraft”)
This “Mama Grizzly” bear
That hails from Delaware
Christine O’Donnell snared
And she’s got no defense for it
The heat is too intense for it
Palin has really stepped in it too
Christine’s witchcraft, wicked witchcraft
And she knows we know, it’s strictly taboo
Will this implode the Tea Party?
Confirming her insanity
Bringing down Palin and Romney too?
O’Donnell’s dug her ditch
Gay-baiting hate-fueled bitch
This tax evading witch is through
Christine’s witchcraft, her crazy witchcraft
Now we know that she’s been drinking the brew
Lied about her college degree
Renouncing Christianity too
Bill Mahar is now the snitch
Who threw the breaking pitch
Now we can bid this witch adieu!