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Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue” Is Banned By Wasilla, AK Public Library

palin-banned-books

The Sarah Palin media blitz is now in a full court press. Have you noticed that since last week she gives more interviews each day than she gave during the entire time that she unsuccessfully ran for Vice President? As usual however, her dementia becomes more apparent each time she opens her mouth. The contradictions are fast and furious.

By now everyone has seen the released snippets of Palin’s appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show. She tells Oprah (regarding the Katie Couric interview), “if you thought that was a good interview, I don’t know what a bad interview is because I knew it was a bad interview.” Yet despite this seemingly honest admission that she made a dope of herself on national television, Palin has a different take on the subject in her soon to be released ghost-written memoir. In Going Rogue she says that she was blindsided by Katie Couric’s devastating interviews last year because John McCain’s aides lulled her into thinking the CBS anchorwoman was a fan. She then writes that  Couric was,“badgering,” had a “partisan agenda” and edited out Palin’s substantive remarks in favor of “gotcha” lines. So which one is it, Sarah? Did you give a poor performance because of your lack of preparation and/or knowledge, or did you never have a chance to shine because of the “gotcha media”? Make up your mind for once, will you please.

If there was ever a book to be banned by her hometown public library for the betterment of society, Going Rogue might be it. There is nothing new to be learned about the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska therein. Palin simply continues to portray herself as the innocent victim of the media, John McCain’s staff and the world in general. The New York Daily News reports that one McCain staffer said this about the tome, “This will reinforce the fact that 25% of the country loves her and everybody else thinks she’s not up to it.” The paper also says that another former McCain staffer predicts the book will kill off whatever presidential dreams she may harbor for 2012. Let’s hope so.

It should also be noted that Sarah Palin had some other bad news this week. As the result of faulty wiring at her Wasilla, Alaska home, her private library was completely destroyed by fire. Both books went poof… up in flames, and Palin had not yet even finished coloring one of them.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Palins: A Family In Decline

political-pictures-sarah-palin-family-media-hell

The Palin family circus is a sight to behold. Is a single one of them presently employed? Perhaps Track is still employed by the U.S. Government if his term of military service has not yet been completed. Even that however, says something about the uber-right-wing family that promotes the private sector so much when the only family income comes from the federal government. In typical Palin fashion, husband Todd recently quit his job with British Petroleum. Sarah, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska has recently posted her resume on LinkedIn. Bristol, we assume, is a single stay at home mom living off of who knows what. Jeesh!!!

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Are Family song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqHLvuKW3H4

WE ARE FAMILY

(sung to the Sister Sledge song “We Are Family”)

(Chorus)
Palin family
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig
Palin family
Let’s put lipstick on a pig!

Palin family
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig
Palin family
Let’s put lipstick on a pig!

Ev’ryone can see that we are crazy
As we walk on by
(HIGH!) And we don’t work because we are lazy
Diana is high
(ALL) All of the moonbats in our clan these days
Like the First Dude, Todd
Just let me state for the record
We think that Levi kid is odd

(Chorus)
Palin family
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig
Palin family
Let’s put lipstick on a pig!

Palin family
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig
Palin family
Let’s put lipstick on a pig!

Abstinence is fun, OK that’s a pun
We get knocked-up before wedding bells
(HIGH) High hopes we have for the future
If our books can sell
(WE) Oh we dress for success
Here’s what we call our golden rule
No condoms for you, and no pills too
You won’t go wrong
Protect the Family Jewels

(Chorus)
Palin family
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig
Palin family
Let’s put lipstick on a pig!

(Chorus)
Palin family
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig
Palin family
Let’s put lipstick on a pig!

(Repeat Chorus To Fade)

Sarah Palin Believes That “Rogue” Is In Vogue

The publisher astutely rejected this early version of Palin's memoir.

The publisher astutely rejected this early version of Palin's memoir.

We all know of Sarah Palin’s lucrative book deal with HarperCollins (owned, not surprisingly by Rupert Murdoch) in which she will counter all those nasty rumors circulated by the “Gotcha Media.” We have also, too, just learned that the release date for the tome has been moved up from Spring 2010 to November 17, 2009. She needs the money sooner because her handler, Meg Stapleton screwed up the negotiations for last week’s Hong Kong speaking debut by inadvertently agreeing that Palin would be compensated in Chinese Renminbis rather than U.S. Dollars.

Nonetheless, Sarah “Word Salad” Palin will finally get the opportunity to put that journalism degree to work. When you consider her memorable interviews with Couric and Gibson, however, we can understand why she required the assistance of a (hopefully, literate) ghostwriter. Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off predicts that her book will have the shelf life of O.J. Simpson’s “If I Did It.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)