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Palin Memorial Week Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This is a column we originally posted way back on May 14, 2009.

PAGEANT PALS

Sarah Palin remains in the news again today and therefore she will once again be our target. The gracious Governor has now come to the defense of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who has stirred up a world of controversey after publicly stating that she opposes gay marriage. After having telephoned the beauty queen so as to personally deliver her support, Palin now says, “The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable. Our Constitution protects us all – not just those that agree with the far left.”

Once again, it appears that the erstwhile Palin needs a refresher course in Constitutional Law. Had she attended any one single institution of higher education for more than a month or two, she may have learned that the Constitution of “this great nation of ours” protects a person’s right to free speech from impingement by the government. In the present case, Ms. Prejean’s rights remained fully intact. At no time were her statements in any way barred or censored.

What Ms. Palin fails to understand, however, is that Prejean’s comments are not protected from criticism. The Constitution provides the same protections afforded Ms. Prejean to her critics should they decide to speak publicly about her. And indeed, those critics came well armed.

It is a fact that California Pageant officials paid for Ms. Prejean’s breast enhancement surgery in an attempt to, might we say “enhance” her chances of victory. Such an act is not an outright defiance of pageant rules, but many critics believe such surgery to be a violation of the “spirit” of the competition. They contend that if professional sports leagues ban the use of performance enhancing drugs and steroids in the spirit of maintaining a fair competition amongst athletes, the same standards should apply to a fair competition which judges physical beauty.

It is also a fact that Ms. Prejean was knowingly photographed in a semi-nude state prior to the Miss America Pageant and failed to disclose same to the officials. This transgression on the part of the contestant was in direct breach of the rules of the pageant. Once again, her critics were justified in criticizing her.

In short, Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean have a lot in common. They both are beauty pageant runner-ups and they both fail to understand the protections granted by the Constitution of the United States of America. Ms. Prejean, however is only 19 years old and has the opportunity now to pursue a meaningful college education after which she can apply her refined knowledge in whatever vocation she chooses. Sarah Palin, on the other hand is a 46 year old grown woman who long ago chose politics and government as her vocation. It is embarrassing that she came to said vocation so ill prepared.

So, let’s have another song…

Copacabana song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, no not the skin type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

Palin Praises Pageant Pal, Prejean

Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin - Pageant Pals

Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin - Pageant Pals

There is that alliteration again. Gotta love it. Let’s take a little stroll down memory lane.

Remember when the gracious ex-Governor of Alaska came to the defense of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who stirred up a world of controversy after publicly stating that she opposed gay marriage. Sarah Palin telephoned the beauty queen so as to personally deliver her support, and then said,

“The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable. Our Constitution protects us all – not just those that agree with the far left.”

That was just one of many examples of Palin needing a refresher course in Constitutional Law. Had she attended any one single institution of higher education for more than a month or two, she may have learned that the Constitution of “this great nation of ours” protects a person’s right to free speech from impingement by the government. In the present case, Ms. Prejean’s rights remained fully intact. At no time were her statements in any way barred or censored.

What Ms. Palin failed to understand, however, was that Prejean’s comments are not protected from criticism. The Constitution provides the same protections afforded Ms. Prejean to her critics should they decide to speak publicly about her. And indeed, those critics came well armed.

It was a fact that California Pageant officials paid for Ms. Prejean’s breast enhancement surgery in an attempt to, might we say “enhance” her chances of victory. Such an act was not an outright defiance of pageant rules, but many critics believed such surgery to be a violation of the “spirit” of the competition. They contended that if professional sports leagues banned the use of performance enhancing drugs and steroids in the spirit of maintaining a fair competition amongst athletes, the same standards should apply to a fair competition which judges physical beauty.

It is also a fact that Ms. Prejean was knowingly photographed in a semi-nude state prior to the Miss America Pageant and failed to disclose same to the officials. This transgression on the part of the contestant was in direct breach of the rules of the pageant. Once again, her critics were justified in criticizing her. Finally, remember how soap opera-like it was when her Ms. California crown was taken away by pageant officials only to have it restored by pageant director, Donald Trump, only to then have him strip her of the crown for failing to attend required events? Ahhh, those were the days.

In short, Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean have a lot in common. They both are beauty pageant runner-ups and they both fail to understand the protections granted by the Constitution of the United States of America. Ms. Prejean, however is only 19 years old and has the opportunity now to pursue a meaningful college education after which she can apply her refined knowledge in whatever vocation she chooses. Sarah Palin, on the other hand is a 47 year old grown woman who long ago chose politics and government as her vocation. It is embarrassing that she came to said vocation so ill prepared.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Copacabana song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, no not the skin type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our ex- Guv

(Copa) That’s our ex- Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

Crawling From The Wreckage

palin.disaster

This song parody tells the long sordid life story of Sarah L. Palin. It is like one of those car wrecks that you pass on the highway but cannot pull your eyes away.

Remember to click on the song link below because it makes it much more fun to sing along.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her appointees ignored and her actions abhorred
She’s reduced to shilling for “Arctic Cat”

She gave Levi some lip about visiting Tripp
And Todd’s sister is facing some jailin’
But paternity laws might be the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin

Sarah Palin Boob Tube Themes – 8

Sarah_television4

Happy Memorial Day Weekend folks. We hope you have a wonderful holiday.

Here’s another Palin TV theme song parody…

All In The Family theme link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znrjbo9QRLk

THOSE PALIN DAYS

(sung to the theme of “All in the Family”)

Sarah was a pageant queen
Todd just drives a snow machine
Parents of a pregnant teen,
Those Palin Days.

Wooten is the scorned in-law,
Track escaped to fight a war,

Levi was kicked off the team
His mom dealing Oxy-C

Abstinence is where Bristol’s at
Katie Couric wants another chat
Sarah’s now sporting “Arctic Cat”,
Those Palin Days.

Pageant Pals

MBRSarah Palin remains in the news again today and therefore she will once again be our target. The gracious Governor has now come to the defense of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who has stirred up a world of controversey after publicly stating that she opposes gay marriage. After having telephoned the beauty queen so as to personally deliver her support, Palin now says, “The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable. Our Constitution protects us all – not just those that agree with the far left.”

Once again, it appears that the erstwhile Palin needs a refresher course in Constitutional Law. Had she attended any one single institution of higher education for more than a month or two, she may have learned that the Constitution of “this great nation of ours” protects a person’s right to free speech from impingement by the government. In the present case, Ms. Prejean’s rights remained fully intact. At no time were her statements in any way barred or censored.

What Ms. Palin fails to understand, however, is that Prejean’s comments are not protected from criticism. The Constitution provides the same protections afforded Ms. Prejean to her critics should they decide to speak publicly about her. And indeed, those critics came well armed.

It is a fact that California Pageant officials paid for Ms. Prejean’s breast enhancement surgery in an attempt to, might we say “enhance” her chances of victory. Such an act is not an outright defiance of pageant rules, but many critics believe such surgery to be a violation of the “spirit” of the competition. They contend that if professional sports leagues ban the use of performance enhancing drugs and steroids in the spirit of maintaining a fair competition amongst athletes, the same standards should apply to a fair competition which judges physical beauty.

It is also a fact that Ms. Prejean was knowingly photographed in a semi-nude state prior to the Miss America Pageant and failed to disclose same to the officials. This transgression on the part of the contestant was in direct breach of the rules of the pageant. Once again, her critics were justified in criticizing her.

In short, Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean have a lot in common. They both are beauty pageant runner-ups and they both fail to understand the protections granted by the Constitution of the United States of America. Ms. Prejean, however is only 19 years old and has the opportunity now to pursue a meaningful college education after which she can apply her refined knowledge in whatever vocation she chooses. Sarah Palin, on the other hand is a 46 year old grown woman who long ago chose politics and government as her vocation. It is embarrassing that she came to said vocation so ill prepared.

So, let’s have another song…

Copacabana song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, no not the skin type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

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