Blog Archives

Bush Tortured? Damn Right!

Not that there was ever any doubt but George W, Bush, one of the worst Presidents in history, finally admits that he tortured captives. Despite the fact that torture is illegal, Bush lamely attempted to justify his actions in a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey. He admits that he gave the go ahead for waterboarding terror suspects.

“CIA experts drew up a list of interrogation techniques. … At my direction, Department of Justice and CIA lawyers conducted a careful legal review. The enhanced interrogation program complied with the Constitution and all applicable laws, including those that ban torture.

“There were two that I felt went too far, even if they were legal. I directed the CIA not to use them. Another technique was waterboarding, a process of simulated drowning. No doubt the procedure was tough, but medical experts assured the CIA that it did no lasting harm.”

Bush does not seem to understand that when the United States of America breaches its own ideals and international laws, it creates a “lasting harm” to its own image. When this great nation of ours stoops to the despicable depths of the tyrannical governments, we become not a guiding light for others to follow, but a darkened cave to avoid. No civilized nation of laws should close its eyes to this man’s blatant disregard for human dignity. If we, as a nation, are who we claim we are, George W. Bush should now be criminally prosecuted.

OK then, now that we’re finished with that, let’s have some fun with a song parody…

F Troop link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/F_Troop.html

BUSH TROOP

(sung to the television theme of “F Troop”)

The dawn of the Iraq War was near
When coincidentally
Cheney and Bush got the limits pushed
And commenced torturous brutality.

The methods employed often maimed and killed
Which pleased Cheney’s vicious group.
The waterboard trick both chilled and thrilled
Nobody was appalled they were called Bush Troop.

With testicle bites and really bright lights
Their victims sure took a lickin’
From draft dodging war hawks
Who are just chickens.

When killing and maiming get them down
They know their morale can’t droop.
As long as they own old D.C. Town
They are sure to resume with a bang and a boom
Bush Troop.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 19

Good morning everyone. Here are a few mix & match news stories from the last week that have been bouncing around in my empty cranium.

BREAKING NEWS:  Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh insist upon saying that the Obama administration is raping the citizens of this country. Why do these two ultra right-wing pundits so frequently use the rape analogy? Is it some sort of racist insult wherein they insinuate a certain race is more likely to commit a vicious sex crime? Consider these quotes:

Glenn Beck:  “People in New York, you’re being raped by your government — raped.”, and “We’re the young girl saying ‘No, no, help me,’ and the government is Roman Polanski.”

Rush Limbaugh:  “Feinberg is following orders and I guaran-damn-tee you Obama said: “You get up there and you rape ’em. And you make ’em poor. And you make ’em pay.”, and “Get ready to get gang-raped again, folks.” There was also this gem, “We are being told that we have to hope he succeeds, that we have to bend over, grab the ankles, bend over forward, backward, whichever, because his father was black, because this is the first black president.” How about this defense of Sarah Palin, “This is pure sexism in Alaska on the part of these old boys trying to get rid of Sarah Palin, and she didn’t put up with it, and she didn’t bend over and let them have their way.”

These guys and their perverted adolescent talk are sickening.

THIS JUST INWe have oft commented on Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off that everything that Sarah Palin touches somehow turns to manure. Remember when she dropped the puck at the St. Louis Blues hockey game during the campaign after which the team promptly went on a multi-game losing streak? Or when she vehemently defended the character and anti-gay marriage position of former Miss California, Carrie Jean Prejean, after which the woman’s character was called into question because of a potential 15 to 20 explicit sex tapes that she made and transmitted to others. How about when Palin most recently got involved in New York’s 23rd District Congressional race by shunning her own Republican Party nominee as being too moderate and endorsing the Conservative Party candidate only to split the vote and lead the Democrats to victory in a district in which they had not won since the Civil War? Well, Palin has done it again. After appearing on Oprah this week, Oprah Winfrey has now taken a cue from the former ex-quitting governor and announced that she too will now quit arguably the most popular talk show in television history. The curse of the “Alaska Disaster” lives on.

BREAKING NEWSFox News was exposed as being anything but “Fair and Balanced” once again this week. Only a few weeks after being caught by Jon Stewart of the Comedy Channel‘s The Daily Show of having attempted to falsely inflate the number of protesters at Michele Bachmann’s recent Tea-Bagger rally in DC by means of showing video footage of a different (better attended event), Fox has done the same thing again. This time Fox attempted to falsely inflate the number of Sarah Palin supporters at a book signing by showing video footage of a campaign rally which took place more than a year ago rather than footage of the actual book signing. This is another example of why the Fox News network simply cannot be trusted to honestly report the news.

THIS JUST IN: To be fair, we must admit that at least one Fox News pundit held a Republican’s feet to the fire this week in a segment of an interview which was not simply a bunch of softball questions. On Thursday evening, while interviewing Sarah Palin the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Bill O’Reilly brought up the topic of the disastrous Katie Couric interview as follows:

O’Reilly: Katie Couric’s a different story. Katie Couric asked you an easy question and you booted it, governor.

Palin: I sure did.

[Plays video]

COURIC: What newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this — to stay informed and to understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media —

COURIC: But what ones specifically? I’m curious.

PALIN: Um, all of them …

O’Reilly: Why did you boot it? I mean, if somebody asks what do you read, I say I read the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, I could reel them off in my sleep, you couldn’t do it.

Palin: Well, of course I could. Of course I could.

O’Reilly: Well, why didn’t you?

Palin: It’s ridiculous to suggest that or say I couldn’t tell people what I read. Because by that point already, although it was relatively early in that multi-segmented interview with Katie Couric — it was, it was quite obvious that it was going to be a bit of an annoying interview with a badgering of the questions. It seemed to me that she didn’t know anything about Alaska, about my job as governor, about my accomplishments as mayor or governor, my record. And a question like that, though, yeah, I booted it, I screwed up, I should have been more patient and more gracious in my answer, it seemed to me the question was more along the lines of — Do you read? How do you stay in touch with the real world?

O’Reilly: See, that was your inexperience.

BREAKING NEWS:  Thank goodness for small miracles. The Boston Globe reported Thursday that Republican California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will never again seek public office of any kind. Now if he will only stay out of the movies and consequently, out of our collective sight.

THIS JUST IN:  How about all of that hypocritical Republican outrage at President Barack Obama’s respectful bow to Japan’s Emperor  Akihito ? Do they remember Eisenhower’s bow to Charles DeGaulle of France of all places? Nixon’s bow to Japan’s  Emperor Hirohito who by the way, was the person who ordered the attack on Pearl Harbor? Or how about George W. Bush’s hand holding and kissing of Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah? This type of criticism simply exposes the Republican Party as a bastion of pettiness with a lack of serious political ideas.

BREAKING NEWS: This is good news. The U.S. Senate last night voted in favor of opening debate on its version of a health care reform bill (why don’t they simply refer to it as what it is, a health insurance reform bill?). It passed by a vote of 60 t0 40. The 60 votes in favor prevented a Republican filibuster at this stage of the process although all 40 Senate Republicans voted against the bill. The “Party of No” has lived up to its reputation once again by voting not against the substantive content of the proposed bill, but against even having a debate which would weigh the pros and cons of the bill. Why are the Republicans afraid to even allow Senate members to debate a bill? Isn’t public congressional debate the foundation upon which our country and its rule of law was created. The Republicans are always quick to allege that know what the “founding fathers” would have done. Does anyone believe that the “founding fathers” would attempt to stop debate in the congress that they just created? We do not think so. The Republicans should steal their party motto from Nancy Reagan, “Just Say No.”

Inasmuch as the Republican Party is doing everything within its power to hasten its own extinction, we thought that it would be appropriate if today’s song parody was based upon a tune about another extinct animal, the unicorn. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Unicorn Song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch4N4KB3XaI&feature=related

THE REPUBLICAN SONG

(sung to the Irish Rovers song “The Unicorn Song”)

A long time ago when the States were new
There were lots of political parties so let’s name a few
They bickered and they fought in this land that was free
But always the sore loser was the G.O.P.

There were Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks, also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
Yet the sorriest of all was the G.O.P.

The Lord seen some sinnin’ from some of his men
So he grouped ‘em all together in a single pen
He said, “I need a name for you barbarians”
“You’ll be Republicans”
And behave like those…

Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
The sorriest bunch was still the G.O.P.

Wise Abe Lincoln was there to answer the call
He set free all those slaves so there’d be freedom for all
Teddy Roosevelt did his duty too
These were good deeds well overdue
Just like…

Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
It looked like there was hope for the G.O.P.

Then came the late 20th century
Them Republicans were up to their old tricks again
Dick Nixon and Watergate led to defeat
Oh, that crooked G.O.P.

There were Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks, also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Then came Ford and Reagan and George Bushes one and two
And reduced the G.O.P. to an old worn shoe

The voters started movin’ to the other side
And with them the hopes of all Republicans died
The Democrats came down and wooed Arlen Specter away
That’s how the Republican Party died and floated away

You’ll see Independents and Democrats too
Green Party members from states both Red and Blue
Libertarians and members of the A.I.P.
We’ll never hear no more from the G.O.P.

Palin vs Johnston: The Thrilla In Wasilla

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE !!!

Wow, the Sarah Palin Ghost-Written Rural Hamlet Book Tour is barely underway and the gloves are off already. The first punches of this round of the Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston never-ending feud were thrown by the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. She appeared on Oprah and told Oprah Winfrey (and a nationally televised audience) that she believes that her once and future former son-in-law Levi Johnston’s Playgirl Magazine spread constitutes, “porn” and that she finds it, “heartbreaking” to see the road the father of her grandson has taken. She also told Oprah that Johnston lied about living at her home. Palin followed up that left hook/uppercut combination with an additional jab or two the next day on Good Morning America (with another nationally televised audience) when she told host Barbara Walters that Johnston is a liar and then implied that he is a disinterested father to boot. While discussing a potential legal custody battle between her daughter and Johnston, Palin said,

It will be nice to see in I guess even legal proceedings a desire to be a part of the baby’s life. That’s a good sign.

Johnston took those blows in stride and countered with a daring fusillade of his own. He appeared on ET (a/k/a Enterainment Tonight) and let loose with this,

That’s total bullsh*t. I did [live with the Palin family] for a few months, then we split up and that was it. I think this interview is really gonna kick up some things, I don’t think she wanted to do that.

Them sure sounds like fightin’ words to us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. Unfortunately after Levi’s remarks, the bell sounded and that round was over. Now is the time to go and get some more popcorn and the adult beverage of your choice before the next round begins. Tune in again for live action tomorrow. Same Bat-Time. Same Bat-Channel.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Manhattan Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said, “I think Sarah just wants a quick peek”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy,
She won’t speak without a fee
The next show she’s doing
Will be with Sean Hannity

Keeping every penny of per-diem pay,
Lying about clothes to charity,
Daughter that’s unwed,
Is someone inbred?
Her chance to win election, pretty low – Think!

Relatives all getting arrested.
Family dignity in free-fall.
McCain’s folks still claim,
“Palin was to blame”
But Sarah says that they dropped the ball

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue” Is Banned By Wasilla, AK Public Library

palin-banned-books

The Sarah Palin media blitz is now in a full court press. Have you noticed that since last week she gives more interviews each day than she gave during the entire time that she unsuccessfully ran for Vice President? As usual however, her dementia becomes more apparent each time she opens her mouth. The contradictions are fast and furious.

By now everyone has seen the released snippets of Palin’s appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show. She tells Oprah (regarding the Katie Couric interview), “if you thought that was a good interview, I don’t know what a bad interview is because I knew it was a bad interview.” Yet despite this seemingly honest admission that she made a dope of herself on national television, Palin has a different take on the subject in her soon to be released ghost-written memoir. In Going Rogue she says that she was blindsided by Katie Couric’s devastating interviews last year because John McCain’s aides lulled her into thinking the CBS anchorwoman was a fan. She then writes that  Couric was,“badgering,” had a “partisan agenda” and edited out Palin’s substantive remarks in favor of “gotcha” lines. So which one is it, Sarah? Did you give a poor performance because of your lack of preparation and/or knowledge, or did you never have a chance to shine because of the “gotcha media”? Make up your mind for once, will you please.

If there was ever a book to be banned by her hometown public library for the betterment of society, Going Rogue might be it. There is nothing new to be learned about the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska therein. Palin simply continues to portray herself as the innocent victim of the media, John McCain’s staff and the world in general. The New York Daily News reports that one McCain staffer said this about the tome, “This will reinforce the fact that 25% of the country loves her and everybody else thinks she’s not up to it.” The paper also says that another former McCain staffer predicts the book will kill off whatever presidential dreams she may harbor for 2012. Let’s hope so.

It should also be noted that Sarah Palin had some other bad news this week. As the result of faulty wiring at her Wasilla, Alaska home, her private library was completely destroyed by fire. Both books went poof… up in flames, and Palin had not yet even finished coloring one of them.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Sarah Palin, The Book Tour Bore (Reposted and Updated)

Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.

Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is the epitome of “the gift that keeps on giving.” A few weeks ago we learned that not only is she job hunting by means of posting her resume on LinkedIn, the Facebook for grown-ups, but we also learned that she will appear for an interview with Oprah on the eve of the release of her ghostwritten pop-up memoir. Wow, where to begin?

Palin is either in such dire financial straits that she will do anything to get a new job and stir up some book sales, or she is a dim-witted glutton for punishment. Then again, those choices are not mutually exclusive. Has anybody heard anything about any job offers springing from LinkedIn? We certainly have not. Strangely enough however, Levi Johnston, her once and future son-in-law, seems to be moving up in the world by means of chumming around with Donald Trump and evolving into the type of tabloid celebrity that Palin has always wanted to be. Perhaps the Oprah appearance will launch Ms. Quittypants into that world as well.

Yet, does Palin think that Oprah Winfrey’s audience has any use for her feminist-belittling brand of politics? Her stance against equal pay for equal work in the workplace and her penchant for charging rape victims for rape kits is not likely to sit well with those women who adore the female empowering posture of Oprah. Then there is Oprah Winfrey herself. It was Winfrey’s fierce opposition to the McCain/Palin ticket that triggered her first ever public endorsement for the Presidency, and it was not for the duo of Old and Dumb. We can only hope that prior to the interview Oprah gets an English translation of Palin’s book so that she can do some fact checking in advance. When one considers how hilariously poor Palin performed in her interviews with Gibson and Couric last Fall, we can only hope that the Oprah interview produces more of the same. How familiar can Palin be with the content of a book about herself that she did not author. It will not be Frost/Nixon, but this could be one interview for the ages if Winfrey plays it tough. Keep your fingers crossed.

In the meantime, let’s have some fun with a song parody directed at the Oprah/Palin interview.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

OPRAH’S-CABANA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah,
In search of dough girl
She had a beehive in her hair and stinging rhetoric to spare
She hated questions which she coined “Gotcha”
But she wanted to be a star,
On TeeVee while with Oprah
She feared becoming poor
So she had a book tour
She’d do this show and then another
And so many more

She’s on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She would be a star just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She lacked compassion but had stewardess fashion
And with Oprah…she’d find some love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

Her name was Oprah,
She shined like diamonds
While in that interviewer’s chair, she would give Palin a scare
And when she skewered that Holy Roller
It would be Palin’s au revoir
That interview will leave a scar
Then Sarah you know who,
Will blame Oprah’s stage crew
Her winking eyes will be all bloodshot
She will cry, “Boo-Hoo”

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She looked like a chimp with banana
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She had a passion for air hostess fashion
But with Oprah…she got no love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

(Oprah  Oprah-Cabana) (Oprah-Cabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Oprah Oprah-Cabana)
(Sarah P.,  rhymes with Hannity)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Palin,
She was a Guv’nor
But that was several months ago before she “went with the flow”
Now she’s a bimbo and she is failin’
A lip-sticked pig beyond compare
And with enemies to spare
She was a star that shined
But only with her kind
She was uncouth and she was a phony
Before she resigned

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
A fading starlet just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She took a thrashin’ while her teeth were gnashin’
And with Oprah…she got no love

(Oprah) That’s our failed Guv
Oprah’s-Cabana
Oprah’s-Cabana
(Fade to end)

Sarah Palin Book Tour = “Signing and Whining”

Cartoon-Palin-Goin-Rogue

The Going Rogue book tour should be titled Going Rural. Sarah Palin the criticism-challenged former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is taking no chances while hawking her ghostwritten tome this month. In an attempt to avoid any negative comment she has chosen to avoid  book signings in most every large city or part of the nation that might be considered Democratic, liberal or progressive. This action should not indicate that she is a coward however, because she has elected to subject herself to hard-hitting televised interviews with almost every single Fox Network host that she could find including Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Greta Van Susteren. As always, Palin is once again proving herself to be a real “mavericky” risk taker.

This leads us to today’s song parody which describes Palin’s “Signing and Whining Tour” along with the tune to Jimmy Buffett’s upbeat Volcano. In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below so as to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. Please be patient with the song link as it takes a little bit of time to load and start playing.

Volcano song link: http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Volcano/1030500

GOING ROGUE

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Volcano”)

(Chorus)
Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Let me say now,

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she goes on book tour

She might visit Tennessee
They sure love the G.O.P.
Maybe next South Caroline
Sanford loves a nice behind

Let me hear ya now

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Now Sarah she did say to me
She will not visit Philly
Politics there, much too hot
I said, “How about Boston”, she answered back, “Not”

Let me say now, I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Mr. Wooten!
(musical interlude)

She wants to see what she’s worth
And face no questions of Trig’s birth
She must go where folks are dumb
She knows right where they are from

Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

One more now, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know (she don’t know mon)
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

She cannot mingle
In New York City
Baltimore and/or
Buffalo (no no no)
Don’t want to land in no
Blue Rhode Island
They will tell her just where to go (ho ho ho)

Don’t want to land in
No San Francisco
Or up in Detroit City (no no no)
Don’t want to land in
Massachusetts
That’s Kennedy territory (no no no)

She will be panned
While in Chicago
She is no fan
Of Ms. Winfrey (no no no)
She’s better off in Mississippi
Folks down there can barely read

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Just one more, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know
(she don’t know, man)
I don’t know where Sarah gonna go
When when she hawks Going Rogue!