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Republicans Question Gingrich’s Qualification To Be President

All in all, Republican presidential candidate Newt “Philanderer” Gingrich did not have a very good day. The most recent GOP frontrunner and flavor of the week, resembled a punching-bag yesterday as just about everybody took a well-deserved jab at him.

First, his chief rival Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney gave Newt a body blow. This was probably in response to Gingrich’s Iowa political director’s contention that Romney’s religion (Mormon) is a “cult”. That was sort of a strange comment coming from a person who supports a candidate who has belonged to at least three different religious affiliations. In any event, Romney, during an interview with the New York Times, in reference to Gingrich, said, “Zany is not what we need in a president. It may work on talk radio… But in terms of a president, we need a leader.” A Romney political action committee then delivered a crushing uppercut by releasing a campaign ad that portrays a Gingrich candidacy as a dream-come-true for Democrats. It states, “Barack Obama’s plan is working. Destroy Mitt Romney. Run against Newt Gingrich.” Adding to the onslaught, the Romney campaign then released a new web ad that features Gingrich and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi in their now infamous plea to combat man-made climate change.

Mitt(wit) Romney was not the only person to attack Newt Gingrich however. The Occupy Wall Street movement delivered a few blows of its own at during a speech Gingrich was delivering at the University of Iowa. The speech was interrupted when Occupy Iowa City protesters started shouting. The heckling halted Gingrich’s speech for several minutes. Then during the answer and question portion at the end of the speech, one protester  went after Gingrich by saying, “Seems like you have a Ph.D. in cheating on your wife.”, in reference of course, to Gingrich’s history of extra-marital affairs.

The tag-team of Gingrich assailants then reverted back to members of his own Republican Party. First, while speaking at a Washington forum, Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner (pronounced “boner”) said, “I’m not sure he’s as conservative as some people think he is.” Boehner then ducked answering a question about whether Gingrich would make a good president.

Boehner’s non-vote of confidence followed upon former Republican Senator Alan Simpson’s statement to Bloomberg News that Gingrich “is for himself before he is for anybody.” Simpson recounted how Gingrich, then House minority whip, broke ranks at the last minute with his party’s leadership to oppose the 1990 budget agreement between Republican President George H.W. Bush and a Democratic-controlled Congress. “It was the most hurtful and duplicitous thing I have ever seen,” Simpson said.

Even the moonbat-crazy wing of the Republican Party is now backing away from Newt Gingrich. During a televised interview with CNN’s “American Morning”, former witchcraft dabbler, serial non-masturbator and election losing Christine O’Donnell crawled out of the shadows and zinged him. She said, “People are trying to paint Newt Gingrich as the anti-establishment candidate, which I think is funny. So many tea partiers are flocking behind Newt Gingrich, I decided to come out and say…the tea party I don’t think should be behind Newt at all.” Not for nothing, but any day that Newt Gingrich has his name mentioned in the same sentence as Christine O’Donnell, is not a good day for Newt Gingrich.

To make matters even worse, the conservative magazine The National Review printed an editorial which was a punch in the nose to Gingrich. The editors warned against nominating Gingrich by saying, “The White House seems winnable next year, and with it a majority in both houses of Congress. We fear that to nominate former Speaker Newt Gingrich, the front-runner in the polls, would be to blow this opportunity.” Ouch! That is going to leave a quite visible mark!

Gingrich is taking a serious verbal beating from his own party members and the blows are beginning to take their toll. The most recent NBC/Wall Street Journal national poll illustrates this. The poll reveals that half of all Republican voters surveyed said they won’t vote for Gingrich in the general election, and he trailed President Barack Obama by 11 points in a hypothetical contest.

Perhaps retiring U.S Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts sized-up Gingrich best and delivered the knock-out blow. First he said that Gingrich winning the GOP nomination “would be the best thing to happen to the Democrats since Barry Goldwater.” Frank then appeared on ABC’s “This Week” and compared Gingrich to the Wizard of Oz. He said,

“Obviously Mitt Romney is the tin woodsman, without a heart. And Rick Perry is clearly the scarecrow… Newt is the Wizard of Oz. Newt is the one who… I just think there’s nothing there, he’s ginned up this whole big thing, but when people focus on him as opposed to him being the Not Romney, this is a man who served as Speaker, twice reprimanded by the House… I just think he is an obvious weak candidate.”

And so it goes. The Republicans have once again hoisted an unqualified candidate for president to the top of their ranks only to suffer from immediate buyers’ remorse resulting in the search for the next “One”. Sarah Palin – Gone. Donald Trump – Gone. Chris Christie – Gone. Rick Perry – Gone. Herman Cain – Gone, and now Newt Gingrich – Gone. When will the Grand Old Party finally realize that they are fated to nominate their poor red-headed step-child…Mitt(wit) Romney?

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HASBEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

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Palin’s Potential Presidential Popularity Plummetts Precipitously!

The question is: How low can she go? The Washington Post reports that Sarah Palin’s “unfavorable” rating has spiked to a new high that may signal that her presidential campaign may be doomed before it begins. A new Bloomberg poll shows the former Alaska governor is now viewed unfavorably by 60 percent of American adults. That’s higher than any other poll has shown, but it’s not even the entire picture.

“Of that 60 percent, nearly two-thirds – 38 percent of all adults – say they view the former GOP vice presidential nominee “very unfavorably.” No other politicians tested even comes close, including President Obama (22 percent). What’s more, Palin’s unfavorable rating is more than twice as high as her favorable rating, which rests at just 28 percent. Another 12 percent aren’t sure how they feel about her.

The poll follows a long and continuous trend in which, as the presidential race nears, people gradually find that they like Palin less and less.

In fact, the numbers are starting to look a lot like someone else’s: House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).

Except that they are worse.

On the eve of her party’s historic 2010 losses, the former House speaker’s unfavorable rating rose into the mid-50s in most polling, while her favorable rating was right around 30. Bloomberg, using the same pollster as now, showed her favorable rating at 33 percent and her unfavorable rating at 55 percent.

Palin, after having better numbers around the time of the 2010 election, now has even worse numbers than Pelosi.”

Turn out the lights. The party is over for the ex former-quitting half-term governor of Alaska. Ah Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune, but to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

The Party’s Over” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsTAUs_h_uY

HER PARTY’S OVER

(sung to the Willie Nelson song “The Party’s Over”)

Turn out the lights
Her party’s over
They say that all
Good things must end
Oh yes, that’s right
Her party’s over
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been

See that crazy Sarah Palin
Deemed obscene by many people
Lying, prancing
Thanks to you she’s all but done
That Sarah P.
Will soon be cryin’
Her bullshit no-one is buyin’
Misery, cuz for she the party’s over

Turn out the lights
Her party’s over
We’ve had a ball
Watching her end
Oh yes, that’s right
Her party’s over
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been

Sarah was the Queen of Lying
And “death panel” proselytizing
Was the face of the Tea Party
Tea-Baggers loved her
She sold them books and took their dimes
Helped them misspell all their signs
But one night they said,
“Sweetheart, the party’s over”

Turn out the lights
Her party’s over
They say that all
Good things must end
Oh yes, that’s right
Her party’s over
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been

(Word-salad tossing, palm crib-note writing,  reality-TV starring fade to end)

A Waterloo For Jim DeMint And The G.O.P.

Jim DeMint (R-SC) poses for his Senate composite photo.

Remember way back last July when South Carolina’s Republican Senator Jim DeMint declared war on President Obama’s plan to reform health care? These were his words:

I can almost guarantee you this thing won’t pass before August, and if we can hold it back until we go home for a month’s break in August, Senators and Congressmen will come back in September afraid to vote against the American people. This health care issue Is D-Day for freedom in America. If we’re able to stop Obama on this it will be his Waterloo. It will break him. (emphasis added)

Let’s listen to him in his own words:

Well, Mr. DeMint we were just wondering, but how do those words taste now? Unlike the honorable Allied Nations of World War II, you and your cowardly cadre of Republicans had a dismally unsuccessful D-Day. You failed to liberate your beloved and ignorant Tea-Baggers from the shackles of the more fair and affordable health insurance reform that was foisted upon them. Indeed Mr. DeMint, it was you that faced your very own defeat at Waterloo. How does it feel?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody which was inspired by blog reader Pat in MA. Enjoy!

Waterloo song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85yMOPKR94M&feature=related

REPUBLICAN WATERLOO

(sung to the Abba song “Waterloo”)

My my, it’s Waterloo; Republicans did surrender
Oh yeah, and Jim DeMint has now been forced to eat his big words today
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

Waterloo – Jim was defeated, we won the war
Waterloo – Health Care Reform was a giant score
Waterloo – Republicans did not have a clue
Waterloo – All they can do now is try to sue
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Waterloo – Republicans facing their Waterloo

My my, they tried to hold us back but we were stronger
Oh yeah, and now it seems their only chance is giving up the fight
And Democrats are so enthused
We win every time that they lose

Waterloo – Pelosi pushed them out the door
Waterloo – Minority status ever more
Waterloo – Can’t legislate if they wanted to
Waterloo – Lots of Red states will be turning Blue
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Waterloo – Republicans facing their Waterloo

The Tea-Baggers are not amused
They’ll have to go back to the booze

Waterloo – Palin’s “death panels” just were not true
Waterloo – Jim DeMint’s feeding on his own shoe
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Waterloo – Republicans facing their Waterloo
Wooo-oo-oo
Waterloo – We did something that they couldn’t do