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Sarah Palin Joins “Palin-Free February” Movement

Palin reacts when Piper informs her that McCain will not endorse her

Last month, Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank wrote that he would not report anything about Sarah Palin for the month of February. He admitted that he has “a Sarah Palin problem” as is evidenced by his “42 columns since Sen. John McCain picked her as his vice-presidential running mate” and the  “dozens more blog posts, Web chats, and TV and radio appearances” in which he has mentioned her. He believes that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is too trivial a figure to report on so frequently and therefore he has begun his boycott of all things Palin through February 28, 2011. Milbank has also called upon other members of the media to join his month-long pledge. Many have done so. Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has not because, frankly speaking, Sarah Palin is too good a source of ridicule to ignore.

Surprisingly, it appears that Sarah Palin may have also taken the pledge. As of today’s post, it has now been nine (9) days since Palin has tweeted on Twitter. What-up with that? Palin has never gone this long before without vomiting out some sort of indecipherable word-salad about something in the news. It cannot be that she is unable find something to say something stupid about. After all, during this period we have had the Egyptian uprising, the Super Bowl and husband Todd’s sore back and cramped muscles, all making headlines nationwide.

Moreover, everybody knows that Sarah Palin cannot go more than a few days before tweeting a sarcastic response to some actual or perceived criticism of her by anyone. And she has received a lot of criticism in the last week or so. In an interview on the Christian Broadcasting Network over the weekend, Palin said the unrest in Egypt was Obama’s 3 a.m. phone call, a reference to a line then-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton used during the 2008 election against Obama. Palin said the “call went right to the answering machine.” Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) disagrees with Palin however, and claims that she is wrong. CNN reports that Graham said, “I really have no fault with the president, Obama, the way he’s handled this process. I disagree with Governor Palin over this particular issue.” How can the Queen of Quit possibly fail to respond to “them there fightin’ words?” Additionally, the Sharon K. Pacheco Foundation (to raise funds for military families and at-risk youth) announced Tuesday that it is canceling a May fundraising appearance by Palin  due to “an onslaught of negative feedback”. How dare they? Wouldn’t this be the perfect time for Palin to tweet about how the Foundation has caved to those on the left and censored her right to free speech?

Palin has also just lost her two biggest fans. Last week, former running-mate John McCain announced that he would not endorse her (or anyone else) for the 2012 presidency. Then yesterday, Bill Kristol, the influential Weekly Standard editor, gave up on her. Kristol has undeniably been Palin’s most prominent supporter for the last few years. Yet, while appearing as a guest on MSNBC‘s “Morning Joe” program Kristol said,

I have a high regard for Sarah Palin, but I will say I’ve been disappointed since she resigned as governor,” Kristol said on “Morning Joe.” “I thought she had a real chance to take the lead on a few policy issues, do a little more in terms of framing the policy agenda. I don’t think she’s done that. But she’s a shrewd woman and I wouldn’t underestimate her.

Sarah Palin’s tweeted response to McCain and Kristol? Nothing. Nada. Not one single misspelled or made-up word. This can only mean that Sarah Palin also, too has joined the “Palin-Free February” movement. Good for her. Let’s hope she extends it into March.

BREAKING NEWS

It has just come to the attention of Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off that Sarah Palin has not only pledged not to tweet about herself in February, but she has pledged not to write or sign anything of any kind whatsoever for an unspecified duration. Evidence of this was revealed yesterday by USA Today when it reported that her application to trademark the name “Sarah Palin” has been rejected by the federal government because the former Alaska governor did not sign the form. Palin’s writing ban will not prohibit her from releasing new books because those have each been “ghost-written”.  It remains to be determined however, whether Palin’s ban on writing will extend to palm-written crib notes to herself. Stay tuned.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with tonight’s song parody.

I’m A Believer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfuBREMXxts

SHE’S A DECEIVER

(sung to the Monkees song “I’m A Believer”)

She tells about as much truth as fairy tails
She considers herself “mavericky”
Russia she claims to see
So say’s Sarah P.
She and Bristol were both pregnant teens

Nose grows on her face, cuz she’s a deceiver
Not a trace, of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

She walked out the door cuz she’s a quittin’ thing
Palin up and caved when things got hot
She never stopped lyin’
Sarah sounds insane
Even though there’s sunshine, she says rain

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

(Todd’s massage break)

Ohhh, McCain didn’t vet she
When he formed his team
Then Palin went and blew his dreams

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
She’s a deceiver
She’s a deceiver
She’s a deceiver

Mt. Vernon City Council Says, “Get The Beck Outta Here !!!”

Glenn Beck on his Fox News show last week.

Glenn Beck on his Fox News show last week.

Last week was not a particularly good one for Glenn Beck. His first faux pas occurred when he tried to make a point on his Fox News program by throwing some frogs (he claims they were rubber) into a pot of boiling water. The only new fans he gained by that stunt were Michael Vick and his posse. The rest of civilized America was understandably disgusted by his actions.

Next, he was skewered by fellow conservative Joe Scarborough on Morning Joe which airs daily on MSNBC. Watch the clip below which also includes denunciations of Beck by Robert Frum, Mark Levin, David Brooks, Peter Wehner, the dim-witted Elisabeth Hasselbeck from The View and Republican congressman, Bob Inglis of South Carolina.

Finally, you might remember the announcement about one month ago that Mount Vernon, Washington’s (Beck’s former hometown) Republican mayor, Bob Norris had unilaterally decided to honor Glenn Beck by presenting him with the keys to the city. The mayor’s action however, triggered a firestorm which prompted 16, 000 of the city’s 26, 000 residents to present a petition to the city demanding that the honor be withdrawn because of Beck’s hate filled rhetoric. Although the mayor declined to withdraw the honor, Mount Vernon’s city council unanimously approved a resolution stating that the “City Council is in no way sponsoring the Mayor’s event…and is not connected to the Glenn Beck event in any manner.”

The event took place on Saturday, September 26th, but hundreds of protesters appeared. They wore t-shirts and placards which stated, “Hate is not a Mount Vernon value” and “Hate kills.” Additionally, a plane circled above the event pulling a sign which read, “Change the locks!” it must be tough when you are despised in your own home town.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

That Smell song clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6q9nBusrq8

BECK’S SMELL

(sung to the Lynyrd Skynyrd song “That Smell”)

Whiskey bottles and drug filled jars
Those were Glenn Beck’s best days
Way too much coke and too much smoke
How does Fox News take pride in you?

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Yeah,

Angel of darkness is in our view
He’s a weasel doing harm (you fool, you)
The bloviating bloke, has a show that just blows
Have a drink, fool, you clown, you (hell, yeah)

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Righties call Beck prince charming
They take his word as the gospel truth
Yet Glenn Beck’s logic is hollow, and
Fox News just might learn he has no clue (no, clue)

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

(musical interlude)

Oh, Glenn Beck’s views
Do nothing else but spread alarm
Beck’s a fear-mongering bore

(musical interlude)

Beck has his own little Waterloo

It’s a monkey on his back
Sponsors have split from his racist schticks
One hell of a price and Beck’s show might get nixed (hell, yeah)

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Oh, Glenn Beck’s views
Do nothing else but spread alarm
Beck’s just a fool, just a fool, just a fool.