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And Then There Were Three

Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman and Rick Santorum

Although most Republicans do not believe in science, the theory of natural selection appears to be working as planned in the GOP race for the Presidential nomination. The original herd of eighteen strong has been thinned downed to only three remaining viable candidates. In a sort of reverse Darwinism, we are witnessing the survival of the un-fittest.

Just a few short months ago the GOP field was chock-full of coconuts. There was Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Gary Johnson, Herman Cain, Fred Karger, Jon Huntsman, Andy Martin, Ron Paul, Jimmy McMillan, Rick Perry, Tom Miller, Rick Santorum, Buddy Roemer, Matt Snyder, Vern Wuensche and Thad McCotter. Shortly thereafter, Johnson, Karger, Martin, McMillan, Roemer, Snyder and Wuensche were eliminated by virtue of the fact that not a single person outside of their immediate families had ever heard of them. Then Tim Pawlenty and Thad McCotter quit. There was almost an increase in the herd after those nine were lost, when the GOP base began clamoring for Mitch Daniels, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Sarah Palin and Chris Christie. Unfortunately, the injection of new blood never came to pass as each potential contestant for the title of “The Next One” took a pass. The herd had been thinned to eight survivors.

Next we had the eliminations “for cause”. The first victim in this category was Newt Gingrich when it was revealed that the self-proclaimed fiscal conservative had run up his credit card to the tune of close to a million dollars owed to the high-end jeweler Tiffany & Co. and that his campaign was more than a million dollars in debt. The next victim was moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann. After being an early fan-favorite, Bachmann collapsed when she started playing doctor with Rick Perry by claiming that the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation. That statement was the “shot heard round the world” in Michele Bachmann’s “War on Facts”. Next, we witnessed Ron Paul’s self immolation during a televised debate when he implied that sick people without health insurance should either rely upon charity or simply die as the result of their illness. To prove his point, he then pointed out that one of his own staffers died as the result of having no health insurance. Rick Perry became the next casualty when, as Brit Hume so eloquently stated, he “threw up all over himself” at the debates. Perry then committed political suicide last week when he appeared to be either drunk or heavily medicated at a speaking engagement in New Hampshire, the video of which went viral. Finally, Herman Cain was eliminated when it was revealed that his 9-9-9 tax plan would actually cut taxes for the rich and raise taxes on 84% of Americans. Cain then put the exclamation point on the demise of his candidacy this week when it was revealed that he has a proclivity for inappropriate sexual behavior with women who do not happen to be his wife.

So there you have it. The Republican field for the Presidential nomination has been thinned to three candidates. Problem is, Republican voters do not like any of them. Jon Huntsman was essentially eliminated from consideration the moment he accepted a position in the Obama Administration as the Ambassador to China and said nice things about the President in a letter. Rick Santorum meanwhile is the textbook definition of an “empty suit” inasmuch as he has accomplished absolutely nothing in his political career other than suggesting that same sex marriage will lead to people having sex with their dogs. That leaves Mitt Romney. The Republican base despises this guy not only because he is a Mormon, but also because they believe he is a liberal in disguise. That is not an unfair accusation in light of the fact that he has changed his political stance on important conservative issues such as a women’s right to choose, gun regulation, climate change, illegal immigration, the auto bailouts, the flat tax and public sector unions. Romney’s biggest problem with conservatives however, is the fact that he is the architect of President Obama’s health care law and the first elected official to enforce the personal mandate to purchase health insurance.

Republicans nationwide will soon be sending out an S.O.S. distress signal for a new candidate. Somebody? Anybody?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Herman Cain: The Audacity of Grope

"Hello there, little lady."

Before reading this blog post you may want to click on the link below to listen to some appropriate 70′s porn background music as you continue.

Click here for background theme.

Let’s be blunt. Herman Cain is having a very bad week. Sexual harassment claims never end on a good note. In the case of Mr. Cain, it appears that he now must address at least three such instances of bad behavior. First, we learned of the two women who allegedly received damage settlements from the National Restaurant Association while Cain was the leader of the group. Then just a few days later we learned that another female victim has emerged. We also now have a witness to at least two of the events and an Iowa conservative radio host who claims that his receptionist was also subjected to some inappropriate behavior on the part of Cain. Just wondering, but were all of these women “just about the same height as” Cain’s wife? We all know that old adage, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire”.

Cain has not helped himself in deflecting the accusations either. His recollection of events has changed as many times as he has apparently changed victims. His story began with no knowledge on his part of any events. It then changed to a story that the women were provided termination packages and not damage settlements. From there it morphed into hand gestures around his mouth area being wrongly interpreted as something sinister when he was actually just commenting on the height of his wife. Then, just yesterday Cain decided to stop talking about the subject at all and he yelled at reporters for asking questions. Yikes!

To add fuel to the fire of this developing situation, it has been speculated that it is Republicans who have unearthed the story in an attempt to bring down Herman Cain’s candidacy for the presidency. At this point Cain’s people are pointing the finger at Rick Perry. The Mitt Romney campaign has also been suspected however. The irony of all this is that Cain claims to be the victim of unproven accusations and yet he has very quickly alleged unfounded accusations against his political opponents. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

As we said earlier, seldom do these situations end on a good note. Recent examples are John Edwards, Mark Sanford, Mark Souder and Anthony Weiner. If these allegations against Herman Cain prove to be true, we will know one thing for certain: “Cain is not Able”.

Herman Cain is now finished. Inasmuch as Rick Perry and Chris Christie are also gone, who will be the Republicans’ next flavor of the month? Marco Rubio are you out there?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Hurricane” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YngpWylqQ3A

HERMAN CAIN

 (sung to the Bob Dylan song “Hurricane”)

Herman Cain shouts out to the radical right
He was doin’ pretty fine but now he will fall
His 9-9-9 plan was a resounding dud
Romney and Perry are having a ball
Here comes the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Herman was chosen by the Tea Party
The only black man to be brainwashed by the GOP
“I will do it” he said as they were clapping hands
“But my views do not register with all the other black men”
“They’re non-believers” he says and he stops
“There’s already a black man at the top”
“Can I keep my pizza shops?”
“Will I somehow make the scene with my liberal-bashin’
“As a black man on the right?”

Meanwhile far away in another part of town
The Koch Brothers and a couple of friends are drivin’ around
They needed somebody to don the right-wing crown
Had no idea the kind of idiots who were hangin’ around
Michele Bachmann looked like she was about to explode
Just like the time before Mitt Romney can’t stand pat
And Rick Perry is just too dumb and slow
He’s a hack… and he is destined for a big defeat
And Obama must be beat!

All these fellows prompted laugher and had no chance to reach the top
The Koch Brothers oh so sadly were just out prowling around
They said, “the other men running, they are lightweight candidates”
“They’ll look like morons when they get to the debates”
Those ol’ boys were just inclined to scratch their sore heads
Koch said, “Wait a minute boys, here’s our thoroughbred!”
He then suggested good ol’ Herman C.
And though this man had no history
They told him that he could surely be their chosen man.

Four in the morning and they called Herman in
They were downright hospitable and they calmed all his fears
Then Herman Cain looked up through his two crying eyes
Says, “I’m shedding all these tears because I’m your guy”
Yes, this is the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Four months later and Wall Street is inflamed
Herman tells the jobless that they are all to blame
While all those bailed-out bankers profit from their greedy games
And Cain sides with the shifty one-percent while he calls the protesters names
He went even further but he went too far
By raisin’ taxes on those workers at the bar
He showed his tax plan had a fatal flaw
Ol’ Herman Cain began to hem and haw…running in fright
Even attacked from the right.

Now all those Tea-Baggers said, “I’m really not sure”
“Raise all our taxes? Please give us a break!”
“We picked you for this cushy job but just maybe you’re not our fellow”
“Now just like flip-flopping Romney, it seems your spine’s made of Jello”
“You best modify your bad behavior”
“Or Newt Gingrich will become our newest flavor!”
“Now you best listen to us, Sir”
“Don’t wanna pin our hopes and dreams upon him”
“Our view of him is quite dim.”

Cain had to take a stand and he had a hunch
But his cigarette smoking ad proved he was out to lunch
It’s a YouTube play and it was a bad day
Now that it’s over he hopes that it just goes away
Reviews weren’t very nice
Still the next time though, he better think twice
His campaign ad an epic fail
What can Herman do next to bail out?
Cuz he’ll never be the man in the White House

All of Herman’s cards were marked in advance
His campaign was a circus, he never had a chance
He tried to cast detractors as drunkards from the slums
To the sane folks who watched he was a corporate-crony bum
He was a big dope with an ego even bigger
No one doubted he was a gold-digger
And he proved he never was “the one”
The Koch Brothers chose the wrong son.. oh yes, indeed
And all the Tea-Baggers agreed.

Cain was later identified
By two former employees who testified
Of sexual harassment of which Cain lied
And the newspapers they all went along for the ride
How can the wife of such a man
Proudly wear his stained wedding band?
While he claims that he was framed?
Herman Cain should be rightly ashamed… to be such a man
Who would deny his blame.

Now the Koch Brothers in their coats and their ties
Are glad to drink martinis and choose their next guy
There must be somebody out there that they can sell
Cuz Herman Cain he was not all that swell
That’s the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 95

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Conservative pundit Michelle Malkin actually got it right last week when she summed up the field of Republican Presidential candidates as “Birthers, flip-floppers, Beltway moldy-oldies, Kabuki reformers. Don’t have stomach to look at GOP2012 field today.” Welcome to the real world, Michelle!

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Republican Presidential candidates, last week Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum doubled down on his support for anti-sodomy laws in an interview with controversial preacher Bradlee Dean. In 2003, then-Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) defended anti-sodomy laws in an interview with the Associated Press because “they were there for a purpose.” He added, in a quote that became infamous, “In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.” Anybody else doubting Santorum’s electability?

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see Massachusetts Democrat Elizabeth Warren receive a public endorsement from Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn) in her race for the U.S. Senate seat presently held by the clothing-challenged Republican Scott Brown. Franken said,

“We’ve all seen what Elizabeth can do with her smarts — and her guts. I’ve been impressed with her tenacity for years. She took on Wall Street before anyone else would and pushed consumer protection to the top of the financial reform agenda. We know she’s tough and fiery and even funny. We know she’s got a great life story and a full career of achievements fighting for middle-class families. That’s why progressives like you and me have been fans for a long time, and why we hoped she’d be able to lead the consumer protection board she created. And now, when we imagine her voice in the Senate, well, it’s even more exciting.”

THIS JUST IN:  The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office released a report last week which revealed that, “for the 1 percent of the population with the highest income, average real after-tax household income grew by 275 percent between 1979 and 2007,” while it grew by just 18 percent for the bottom 20 percent of the income scale. “As a result of that uneven income growth, the distribution of after-tax household income in the United States was substantially more unequal in 2007 than in 1979.” Anyone surprised why the Occupy Wall Street 99% are upset?

BREAKING NEWS:  Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul appeared on NBC’s “Meet the Press” last week and announced that he wants to end all federal student loans. That should certainly help with closing the education gap between the United States and the other nations who are faring better than us. Of course, Paul is also the crackpot who believes that the gold has gone missing from Fort Knox.

THIS JUST IN: What’s up with Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain and the smoking commercial?

BREAKING NEWS: This week a Tea Party leader asked Michele Bachmann to end her quest for the Presidency. Ned Ryun, the president of American majority, a Virginia based Tea Party group has called on the former tea Party darling and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus to quit the race because, “every day the campaign flounders, it risks hurting the credibility of the movement.” He went on to say, “It is clear that the campaign has become less about reform and more about her personal effort to stay relevant and sell books; a harsh commentary, but true. It’s not about Tea Party values or championing real plans to solve real problems.’’ It would appear that the moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann has managed to squander the support of her most avid fans.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s “Quote of note comes from Vice President Joe Biden. He said, “Republicans moralizing about deficits. That’s like an arsonist moralizing about fire safety. Spot-on Joe!.

BREAKING NEWS:  The Sarah Palin hangover continues. After announcing that she would not run for President, Sarah Palin’s brainwashed supporters are at a loss. They have absolutely no idea who to worship and throw money at now. In an attempt to come up with an answer they held an online forum called “Grizzlyfest” last week. Josh Painter, who runs the blog Texans for Sarah Palin, acknowledged that many supporters he knew were still “coming out of shock” at Palin’s decision, but that Grizzlyfest was an “excellent opportunity” to assess “where we are and where we are going.” One thing that was clear by the end: real disappointment remains despite a willingness to try and stay together as a cohesive group without a leader. Ah Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Sarah Palin song parody.

It’s All Over Now song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbpU5vBYnfU&feature=related

IT’S ALL OVER NOW

(sung to the Rolling Stones version of the song “It’s All Over Now”)

Well, Palin was around way too long
She winked those eyes, went to Hong Kong
But her heart’s now broken, that’s no lie
Tables turn and now it’s her turn to cry

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Well, she thought that she’d be crowned a queen in D.C. Town
She’d spend book deal money to buy herself some fame
She has no clout, that must be a blow to her pride
Tables turn and now it’s Sarah who cries

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

(musical interlude)

Well, on Meet The Press Sunday morning, did you hear what they said?
“Palin’s political future is all but dead”
Brooks, Dionne and Murphy really smacked Palin down
Now the whole world knows that she is just a clown

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Staffers Fleeing The Sinking S.S. Bachmann

Seperated at birth

Many have speculated that Republicans in Congress have planned to do what they they can to prevent the economy from improving at least until the 2012 elections. The theory is, that if the economy fails to significantly improve, the GOP can blame President Obama and Congressional Democrats and convince voters to support Republicans in November 2012. This plot was evident back in November 2010 when Republican Senate leader Mitch McConnell unabashedly admitted that, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” The GOP plan was further revealed in the very basic fact that the Republican majority House of Representatives has failed to pass a single jobs bill since taking control of that chamber in 2010. It is clear that Republicans do not care about helping the economy and the 99% of American citizens who are suffering. They care only about themselves and the next election.

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann is no different. In fact, she has gone one step further and personally contributed to the nation’s unemployment problem. Bachmann has reportedly failed to pay her New Hampshire staff members for over a month, thereby causing them to quit en masse last Friday. Consequently, there are now five more people on the unemployment rolls.

Bachmann appeared dumbfounded when asked the defections. On Friday, she appeared on an Iowa radio station and said, “This is a shocking story to me, I don’t know where that came from. We have called staff in New Hampshire to find out where that came from and the staff have said that isn’t true, so I don’t know if this is just a bad story that’s being fed by a different candidate or campaign. I have no idea where this came from, but we’ve made calls and it’s certainly not true.”

Apparently Bachmann made calls to the wrong people because it is true that her staff has quit. This should not have come as a surprise to the moonbat-crazy Bachmann inasmuch as she has already suffered a string of defections since she declared her candidacy. She previously lost campaign manager Ed Rollins, deputy manager David Polyansky, pollster Ed Goeas, adviser Andy Parish and spokesperson Doug Sachtleben. Indeed, Bachmann has proven that she is surely not one of those GOP-heralded “job creators” who they are always defending.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bette Davis Eyes” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifDycyRNpcI

MICHELE BACHMANN EYES

 (sung to the Kim Carnes song “Bette Davis Eyes”)

Her hair is wild and bold
Her breath smells like fries
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s a Tea Party pawn
And she never thinks twice
She’s running out of dough
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’s out there all alone
Confused and so uptight
Don’t listen to her drone
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s made a fumble or two
Misspoken more than twice
Staffers quit on her too
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll tease you
She’ll unease you
Just to squeeze you
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’ll confuse you
And she’ll lose you
(fade to end)

GOP Debate Erupts Into Donnybrook!

There were a lot of casualties at last night’s Republican Presidential Debate in Las Vegas.

The first victim was Jon “Who?” Huntsman because he chose to sit this one out and thereby erase his own presence from the field of nominee wannabes. Huntsman injected himself into the Nevada/New Hampshire conflict over GOP caucuses/primary dates by siding with the Granite State and he illustrated his displeasure with Nevada by refusing to participate in a debate within its borders. It remains to be seen whether Huntsman’s defection will prove helpful in the New Hampshire primary (whenever it may be held), but there is no denying that his absence from last night’s debate provided a perfect example of “out of sight/out of mind” for GOP voters.

Next, we witnessed two pots calling the kettle black when Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney and Rick “The Executioner” Perry faced off over illegal immigration. Rick Perry accused Mitt Romney of having no credibility on the issue inasmuch as Romney once hired illegal immigrants at his home. Romney then reminded the audience, that as Governor of Texas, Perry provides in-state college tuition to children of illegal immigrants. Perry also referred to himself as “an authentic conservative, not a conservative of convenience.” Romney in turn, made reference to Perry’s poor debate performances by saying, “This has been a tough couple of debates for Rick, and I understand that. And so you’re going to get testy.”

Every Republican debate of course, at some point turns to the subject of repealing our nation’s newly enacted health care reform law. Last night Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum went on the attack against Mitt Romney because the Massachusetts plan, known as “RomneyCare” was the actual blueprint for President Obama’s law. Rick Santorum said, “You just don’t have credibility. Your consultants helped craft Obamacare.” Newt “My Three Wives” Gingrich then jumped into the battle referring to Romneycare as “one more big government bureaucratic high cost system…” Romney responded to Newt Gingrich by saying, “Actually, Newt, we got the idea of an individual mandate from you.” Romney’s message was that Gingrich once supported the conservative Heritage Foundation’s idea for a personal mandate to purchase health insurance during the Clinton days when a single-payer system was being debated.

One candidate was attacked by everyone. Herman “Pizza” Cain’s “9-9-9″ tax plan was on everyone’s hit list. Santorum said Herman Cain’s plan is “not good for families.” Ron “The 14th Amendment is Unconstitutional” Paul said, “”Herman. It’s not going to fly. It’s very, very dangerous.” Romney added, “The analysis I did, person by person, return by return, is that middle-income people see higher taxes under your plan.” Perry said, “Herman, I love you, brother, but let me tell you something, you don’t need to have a big analysis to figure this thing out. Go to New Hampshire, where they don’t have a sales tax, and you’re fixing to give them one.” Even Michele “Our Founding Fathers Ended Slavery” Bachmann seemed to understand that the plan is a bad one. Michele Bachmann said, “Anytime you give the Congress a brand-new tax, it doesn’t go away.”

Despite the near continuous vicious in-fighting, there was at least one long awkward moment of silence. This happened when Michele Bachmann announced that the United States never, ever negotiates with terrorists for hostages or anything else. Ron Paul then asked all of the candidates whether or not they denied that Ronald Reagan negotiated arms for hostages with Iran in the 1980s. You could have heard a pin drop. The candidates and the previously vocal audience were stunned into silence. Did Paul actually dare to utter a negative word about Saint Ronald?

If you missed the debate, you can see it here in 100 seconds:

Let’s see how all this develops during the three debates scheduled for next month.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av3em

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 93

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Massachusetts voters actually like candidates with Ivy League connections. The most  poll from the Western New England University Polling Institute reveals that only 13 percent of Massachusetts are “less likely” to vote for Democratic US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren because she teaches at Harvard Law School. Conversely, 21 percent said that fact makes them more likely to vote for Warren while 63 percent said it makes no difference at all. Something tells me the result would have been different in Texas.

THIS JUST IN:  Have you noticed that the Republican Presidential candidates (especially Michele Bachmann) have stopped talking about the price of gas? The reason for their sudden silence might have something to do with the fact that gas prices have been falling since may to about $ 3.40 as of October 5th. There goes one more GOP talking point out the window.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see that Democrat Earl Ray Tomblin beat his Republican opponent in West Virginia’s special gubernatorial election last week. Congratulations Earl!

THIS JUST IN:  Did you realize that the War in Afghanistan had its 10th anniversary on October 7th? Viet Nam anyone?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Sane Judicial Decisions Which Are Certain To Be Overturned By The US Supreme Court” features the US Appeals Court for the District of Columbia which upheld as constitutional, a D.C. law which bans semi-automatic rifles and large capacity ammunition magazines.

THIS JUST IN:  Herman Cain must not want to be President of the United States. If he did, he would never have said the following to the over 14 million presently unemployed American voters, “If you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself.” Something tells me that those words are going to come to roost at Cain campaign headquarters.

BREAKING NEWS:  It looks like GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry may also have to deal with some chickens coming home to roost. Texas pastor, Robert Jeffress introduced Perry at a conference of Christian conservatives last week and then stated that Mitt Romney is not a Christian and that the Mormon Church is a cult. I wonder if Jeffress feels the same about Jon Huntsman? Perry now has his own Reverend Wright.

THIS JUST IN:  The economic geniuses over at Fox News have repeatedly criticized the Democrats’ attempts to raise taxes on millionaires as “class warfare” while touting Herman Cain‘s 9-9-9 plan which would raise taxes on the poor and middle class as sound economic policy. Hmm?

BREAKING NEWS:  Crazy headline of the week: “Tea Party Nation Urges Monday Night Football Boycott, Backs Hank Williams For Senate“.

THIS JUST IN:  Ever wonder what happened to the “Birthers” who believe that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States? Did you think that they walked away with their tails between their collective legs when Obama’s long form birth certificate was produced and authenticated? Nope. They did however take another slap to the face from the US Supreme court last Monday when nation’s highest court refused to take up a case brought by three people “who claim President Barack Obama is not a natural born citizen of the United States of America and, hence, is ineligible to be the President.” Will these people ever learn? Don’t count on it.

BREAKING NEWS: It would appear that Massachusetts’ Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate, Elizabeth Warren is siding with the 99%. In a debate last week she unapologetically said, “The people on Wall Street broke this country, and they did it one lousy mortgage at a time. This happened more than three years ago, and there still has been no basic accountability, and there has been no real effort to fix it. This isn’t about class warfare, this is about the reality of how we prosper as a nation.” Brava, Ms. Warren! She unabashedly speaks truth to power.

THIS JUST IN:  My favorite quote from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last week was in reference to Sarah Palin‘s announcement that she would not seek the Presidency. Stewart’s quote? “Take The Money And Don’t Run”. Brilliant.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Take The Money And Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-vBd-r_Pww

TAKE THE MONEY AND  RUN

(sung to the Steve Miller song “Take The Money And Run”)

This here’s a story ‘bout Sarah P. or “Caribou”
As for nicknames, ya know, she’s got quite a few
There’s “Failin’ Palin” and the “Pig with Lipstick” too
And here’s what happened up north when she was cut loose

She was the Guv, but spent no time in Juneau
One mean bitch with the temperament of Cujo
She double-crossed just about anyone you know
Sarah P. took the money and run

Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run

Sarah P. said she would not accept federal money
She said Obama was up to something funny
She told the Senate to hop away like a bunny
The legislature said, “Thanks But No Thanks” honey

Sarah P. was pissed she didn’t get her way
To Indiana she went, the very next day
The House and Senate, hey
Took the funds anyway
Sarah P. was forced to  declare the “Big OK”
Singin’ OK let’s take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
(Haroooga!)
OK, take the money and run

Ding, Dong The Witch Is Dead!

Sarah Palin has finally confirmed what everybody already knew. On Wednesday she announced that she will not be running for President of the United States in 2012. Pretty much everybody except Palin already knew this in light of the fact that virtually every poll since last year indicated that vastly more people would reject her campaign than would support it. The plurality of Democrats, Republicans, Independents and even Tea Partiers have time and again sent the message that they had lost all interest in a Palin candidacy. Sarah Palin’s 15 minutes of fame lasted three years, but like all vapid and talentless celebrities, she was unable to maintain relevance and serious interest for too long. She had become a caricature of herself. Yesterday’s announcement sounded the death knell for Palin’s future political career and it will also most likely end her sideshow job as a Fox News commentator. In short, Sarah Palin is no longer the “It” girl and she never will regain that title again.

It seems fitting that Sarah Palin chose the Halloween season to announce the end of her career as a person of interest. She is after all, sort of a blundering, stumbling man-made monster. Just three short years ago almost nobody had ever heard of Sarah Palin. The G.O.P. was led by such familiar names as Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, a resurgent Newt Gingrich and the actor Fred Thompson. Then the unexpected happened. Somehow the centrist John McCain won the Republican Presidential nomination. McCain however, was trailing Democrat Barack Obama by such a wide margin that he was forced to do something drastic in order to draw some attention to his campaign. Much like the literary Dr. Frankenstein, McCain was compelled to create some life from scratch. He stitched together some uber-right-wing conservatism, some female DNA, some down-home colloquialisms, a beehive hairdo and some rimless glasses. His handmade creation was Sarah Palin.

Much like Dr. Frankentein’s monster however, the McCain creation also suffered from some fatal flaws. They both had a damaged brain. Each became stronger and more identifiable than its creator. Both wreaked havoc on society and in the end, the Frankenstein monster and Sarah Palin each turned against their respective creators and embarked on a reign of terror.

The Palin thing was alive, ALIVE! This 21st century mindless monster quit her job as Governor and stumbled out of the wilds of Alaska on her way to the Lower 48. Unable to master the written word, the pathetic creature hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir. Unable to master the spoken word, Palin turned to Twitter and Facebook as her means of communication. Unable to appear human on television, she was forced to appear repeatedly on Fox News. The thing that became known as PALIN  sowed fear into the hearts of all uneducated conservatives with her horrific tales of “death panels”, the godless land of Russia that she could see by means of her super-human vision and of her arch enemy, the would-be monster slayer, author Joe McGinniss.

Unlike the Frankenstein monster however, the Palin thing began to amass a large and adoring following. Sure, these devotees were comprised of racist, white, uneducated homophobes from the lowest rung of the food chain, but beggars can’t be choosers. The Palin thing’s fan base became known as the Tea Party (presumably because some mind-altering hallucinogen was slipped into their tea). These Tea-Baggers are a mindless lot that confusingly wants no government control over their government controlled Medicare and Social Security benefits. They hate the Obama administration because of his fictitious tax increases despite the fact that over 95% of them have actually benefited from the President’s middle class tax cuts. The Tea-Baggers crowned the Palin thing as their de facto queen.

The Palin thing’s Tea Party royalty status is the biggest problem for the creature’s former party.  Before John McCain’s monster was created, the whacko Tea-Baggers were all firmly entrenched members of the Republican Party. They voted in lockstep for every Republican they could find thereby ensuring at least some electoral success for the party. The creation of the Palin thing has changed all of that. The Tea-Baggers are now actively seeking candidates from within their own super-radical ranks. These Tea Party candidates are so out of the mainstream that they oppose meaningful portions of the Civil Rights Act (Rand Paul). They hope to privatize Social Security (Rand Paul, Michele Bachmann), criminalize the consumption of alcohol (Sharron Angle), deregulate the oil industry (despite the Gulf oil spill) (Ron Paul), abolish the Dept. of Education (too many to name here), ban masturbation (Christine O’Donnell) and even remove fluoride from the nation’s water supply (Sharron Angle). This is crazy stuff that has drawn votes away from Republicans in favor of unelectable radicals and the Palin thing adds to the chaos by endorsing these candidates.

Like the legendary Frankenstein monster however, the Palin-thing quickly outwore her welcome. She attacked everything in sight and damaged everything she came in contact with (like American history for instance). She engaged in verbal battles and name-calling with former allies like Karl Rove, Meghan McCain and even Fox News co-workers Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly. She stole the spotlight from actual GOP presidential candidates by “coincidentally” giving speeches in early primary states on the exact same dates that the candidates were speaking. She even committed the unforgivable sin of appearing on a realty television program which is the modern-day nursing home for washed up celebrities. She was out of control and most every American finally realized that THE PALIN THING MUST BE DESTROYED!

First the mainstream Republicans avoided Palin whenever they could. Next, the radically conservative radio talk show hosts began poking fun at her absurdity. Soon thereafter, the general public grew tired of her and attacked her with diminishing poll results. Finally, even her most loyal supporters, the Tea Party members, abandoned ship after Palin continued to demand their monetary donations without rewarding their support with any indication that she would seek political office. All of America finally gathered up their pitchforks and torches so as to put and end to Sarah Palin once and for all.

With her announcement yesterday, Sarah Palin spared the masses the unpleasant task of putting her down. The former ex-quitting half-term governor did “the honorable thing” and ended her own political existence. America can now concern itself with extinguishing the nine remaining mini-monsters that comprise the field of Republican presidential candidates.

In memory of the Palin-thing let’s take one last look at some of her greatest hits.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu7hxguhFfI

ALASKAN PIE (Version Two)

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Karl Rove sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Tea Baggers for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
How soon before Fox News says, “You must go”?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for three years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Legal problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
You’re a joker on the sidelines, little lass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit the race and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the people beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Let’s hope that he’s not jokin’
The “barracuda’s” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
Today her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Rick Perry Joins The Ranks Of The American History-Challenged GOP

Three Blind Mice

This week while on the campaign stump, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry made a fool of himself while attempting to teach his supporters a little bit about American history. He is not the only Republican Presidential candidate or psuedo-Presidential candidate to do this in recent months.

Last March while campaigning in Manchester, New Hampshire, moonbat-crazy Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann revealed a major gap in her grasp of the history of the American Revolutionary War. She confused her supporters be declaring, “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history.’’

The echo of the “shot heard ’round the world” may have been heard in New Hampshire, but it was, of course, actually fired in Massachusetts as most every school child knows. Bachmann also infamously and incorrectly claimed that our nation’s Founding Fathers fought “tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Of course the reality is that many of the Founding Fathers were actually slave owners and they were long dead by the time slavery was abolished in 1865.

Next we had the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska, Sarah Palin reveal her complete misunderstanding of Paul Revere’s storied “Midnight Ride”. While visiting Boston, Massachusetts on her SaraPAC-funded nationwide family vacation/campaign tour last summer, Palin described to a reporter her understanding of Paul Revere’s ride as follows: “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his  horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Of course, the actual purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”. But hey, this was Sarah Palin talking and nobody ever really expects her to have any idea of what she is talking about.

This leads us directly to Rick Perry. This week he stood on the podium in front of supporters in his home state of Texas and misinformed them about the Boston Tea Party and 1770s colonial Boston by saying,

“There was a time in our nation’s history when people like you — patriots — they had to disguise themselves and sneak around in Boston, if you will, cities up in the Northeast, in the dark. They risked their lives in order to send a message about unfair taxation.”

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, let’s watch Perry in action:

Of course what Perry said is completely false as Matthew Yglesias at ThinkProgress.com points out as follows:

“Contrary to Perry’s assertion, nobody was ‘afraid to walk around in public’ in colonial Boston out of ‘fear that they’d be persecuted’ for objecting to high taxes. What actually happened was that ‘disguised men and others then went on board the tea-ships moored at Griffin’s Wharf, and in the course of three hours they emptied three hundred and forty-two chests of tea into the water of the harbor.’ Apparently not all the tea partiers actually did wear disguises at all, but clearly the point of wearing disguises wasn’t generalized fear of public expression of dissent but specific fear that acts of vandalism were illegal. For all that’s changed in the subsequent 230 years, this aspect of American life is basically the same. People who want to protest peacefully do so freely, people who want to destroy other people’s property are more likely to wear masks.”

Certainly, nobody in his Texas audience had any idea that what Rick Perry said was completely untrue. Such is probably a result of the fact that Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worst state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. Perry can also be excused for his ignorance because he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps a new movie starring Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry should be produced. It could be a comedy about recreating American history to fit the confused Teapublican mindset. It could be titled, “Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer“.

Read my lips, “NO NEW TEXANS!”

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

GOP Flavor Of The Week Is Pizza and Rick Perry “Really Did Throw-Up All Over Himself”

Breaking News: Herman Cain won the GOP straw poll in Florida last Friday. The former owner of Godfathers’ Pizza is now the “flavor of the week” for Republicans. The highly touted Florida Straw Poll is important to members of the Grand Old Party because its winner has an unusually high percentage of eventually capturing the party’s nomination for President. Cain is the “flavor of the week” because although he won this particular contest, moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann won the earlier Iowa Straw Poll and Mitt(wit) Romney won the Michigan Straw Poll and Ron “Civil Rights Act is Unconstitutional” Paul won the California Straw Poll. Strangely enough, the consensus Republican front-runner, Rick Perry has consistently failed to win any contests (or debates for that matter). Floridians appeared to be impressed by Cain’s “9 – 9 – 9″ taxation plan which many of them confused with Godfathers’ Pizza’s “9 – 9 – 9 Pizza Deal” which consisted of a 9 inch pizza with 9 toppings all for $9 dollars.

Lynnrockets also took one for the team and watched “Fox News Sunday“. It was very enlightening to learn that not only do all all the conservative Fox News pundits dislike the field of Republican Presidential candidates, but that they also believe that the majority of Republican voters are displeased with the lot. Panelist A.B Stoddard said the Cain win represented not only a disappointment over Perry, but a “dissatisfaction” with the current field amongst the GOP base. She said the poll was “a real slap toward Perry and Mitt Romney…they don’t like their choices at all”.  Bill Kristol piped-in by saying “70% of Floridians voted against the two front-runners (i.e Perry and Romney)” and “it was a vote of no confidence ” against both of them. He concluded by saying “these are very weak front-runners”. Juan Williams (the only quasi-liberal panelist) said, “there still is this hankering for someone else to come in”. Williams went on to say,

“The impression they are giving to the nation as a whole is that this is a very limited conversation among the Tea Party element or the far right of the Republican Party. Not only is it that they won’t except $3 dollars in cuts for $1 dollar in a tax hike, but it’s things like the immigration argument that really held center this week…If I’m Hispanic and I’m watching that show (the debate), I think, ‘Gee, these people don’t like me. They don’t like immigrants of any stripe’”.

It was Brit Hume however, who was the most caustic toward Perry in particular and the Republican field in general. He opened by saying,

Perry really did throw-up all over himself at the debate and at a time when he really did need to raise his game, … he did worse…Perry is about one half a step away from total collapse as a candidate…What keeps happening here is these people have a moment, they get into the race as Perry did and zoom to the top and everybody is in love, and then we get a dose of them… and they don’t seem so great.”

Let’s go to the tape. The Brit Hume statements begin at the 2:00 minute mark:

Batting next for the Republican Party: Chris Christie?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Unpatriotic Teapublicans On Display At GOP Debate (And Fact Check)

The anger, lack of compassion and unpatriotic behavior keeps mounting with each successive Republican Presidential debate. In the first debate to include Rick Perry we had the Republican audience cheer the fact that as Governor of Texas, Perry led the nation with 234 executions. At the next Tea Party-sponsored debate, the audience cheered for the death of a sick person without health insurance. Then, just last night at the Fox News debate, audience members actually booed a gay active duty soldier who asked a question about the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy. Yes, they booed an American military hero who is serving in Iraq. Let’s got to the tape:

How’s that for Republican patriotism?

But there is so much more to discuss about last night’s debate between 9 GOP presidential wannabes. As usual, the cadre of misinformed candidates elicited quite a few misstatements and lies. Forbes.com provides a nice fact-check on the Republicans’ performance. For instance, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Sceme” Perry boldly declared last night that he had never advocated turning Social Security over to the states. Last night he said, “We never said that we were going to move this back to the states”. In fact,  just last November he said, “Get it back to the states. Why is the federal government even in the pension program or the health care delivery program? Let the states do it.” Boy, does that ever look like a Mitt Romney flip-flop! Perry has also backtracked on his “Ponzi Sceme” rhetoric and now refuses to repeat those words which he so proudly wrote in his book wherein he said that the Social Security program is a “Ponzi Scheme and a crumbling monument to the failure of the new deal.”

Last night also exposed Moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann misreading presidential approval polls. She said, “President Barack Obama has the lowest public approval ratings of any president in modern time.” That is true, Forbes points out, “if you leave out Harry Truman, Richard Nixon, George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, Lyndon Johnson, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and Gerald Ford. All of them at some point in their terms dipped lower than Obama’s low point of 38 percent job approval, according to Gallup’s comparison”. Bachmann also denied making the statement that she made just last week to the effect that an HPV vaccine can cause mental retardation (just wondering, but was Bachmann ever administered that vaccine?).

Mitt Romney also faced problems with the truth as usual. Rick Perry disparagingly stated that Romney supports some of President Obama’s education initiatives including the “Race To The Top” program. Romney responded, “I don’t support any particular program that he’s describing.” Unfortunately for Romney, Forbes points out that “Romney does indeed support some of the specific policy changes encouraged by the Race to the Top program and said as much earlier in the week. Speaking in Miami on Wednesday, he praised the president’s education secretary, Arne Duncan, for the program. And during the debate, Romney acknowledged supporting elements of the initiative, including teacher evaluations and charter schools.” It would appear that the Romney campaign strategy is to to continue to flip-flop his way to the nomination.

With all the lies and misinformation being tossed around at the Republican debates, it is no wonder that most polls indicate that Ron “Fort Knox Is Empty” Paul won last night’s showdown. At least the wacky Paul keeps his story straight by relentlessly repeating how much it costs to air-condition military barracks in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter -  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

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