Blog Archives

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 59

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of right-wing talk radio gone whacko took place in Boston this week. Jay Severin hosts a program which airs on a Boston, MA radio station, known to  progressives as WKKK. Severin, (who changed his name from James Severino a number of years back, presumably to avoid any ethnic stereotyping) is a cowardly conservative host who has embellished his academic credentials and falsely claimed that he was the recipient of a Pulitzer Prize. He is, in essence, a light-weight Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. He was suspended by his station about a year ago as the result of vicious racist comments made against Mexicans. This week Severin also joined the ranks of conspiracy theorists. He claims that the unidentified plume which appeared off the California coast this week was actually a Chinese warning missile aimed at the U.S. because of that nation’s distaste for President Obama. He must have obtained his information from some classified documents provided by Christine O’Donnell.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Best Quote Of The Week” stars MSNBC‘s Keith Olbermann, who said of his campaign contribution suspension, “And then suddenly I’m fundraising for them passively or aggressively and we’re accidentally Fox.” Short, sweet and so true.

BREAKING NEWS: Ya gotta love Democratic Senator Michael Bennett of Colorado who one-upped the Republicans this week. Bennett said that Democrats will revisit health care reform also, too, particularly to ensure affordable premiums. He and the Democrats want to make a “good” law “better”.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Money Not Wisely Spent” co-stars Teapublican losers Sharron “No Alcohol” Angle and Linda “Steroid Queen” McMahon. In the end their losing campaigns led the nation in the category of dollars spent per vote received. Each of them spent $ 97.00 for each of their losing votes. Apparently money cannot buy everything.

BREAKING NEWS: Teapublican nut-job Rand Paul has not even been seated in the Senate yet and he has already started a civil war amongst his supporters which is likely to cost him his seat in the next election. First, he stabbed his Tea-Bagging supporters in the back when he reversed his campaign pledge against voting in favor of earmarks. Paul now says that he will fight for every dollar available to his state of Kentucky. Next, Paul alienated his Republican supporters by advocating reductions in defense spending. Rand Paul, Kentucky’s next one term Senator.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Stating The Obvious” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has predicted that she will face harsh personal criticism in the aftermath of the mid-term elections as pressure continues to build against her probable bid for the 2012 Republican Presidential and Cookie-Baker in Chief nomination.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Representative Joe Barton declared this week that repealing the newly enacted Health Care Reform law is his “Alomo”. Does the Texan realize that we lost the Battle of the Alomo, or has he been reading those revised Texas school text books again?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Who Get It” features moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins of Maine. She told the Kennebec Times that she blames Sarah Palin for costing the GOP Senate seats — and she thinks Palin would rather be a “celebrity commentator” than run for president and govern. Here’s hoping that Collins will soon do the right thing and switch parties?

BREAKING NEWS: In light of all of his admissions about authorizing torture, is it likely that major bookstores will display former President George W. Bush‘s memoir Decision Points in the “True Crime” section?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “How To Lose Your Job On Fox News” features Mort Kondracke. This week, the Fox contributor called Teapublican Rep. Michelle “Moonbat Crazy” Bachmann a “loudmouth”. His days at Fox are now numbered.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 58

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Not All Of My Children” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has just released a new ad which looks strikingly like a Presidential candidate’s ad. In it, she makes reference to all her wonderful “Mama Grizzlies”. Problem is, she apparently has disinherited some of her unsuccessful cubs. Christine O’Donnell, Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle and Linda McMahon are all conspicuously absent. Let’s watch…

THIS JUST IN: Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) gave the most spot-on victory speech last Tuesday evening. After trouncing the Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Sean Bielat, he said this…

Go get’em Barney!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Despicable Me” stars Sarah Palin. The Queen of Quit included the following “tweet” as one of her favorites on her Twitter account: “The Blood of Jesus ATLAH World Missionary Church” in New York. The sign read: “The blood of Jesus against Obama history made 4 Nov 2008 a Taliban Muslim illegally elected president USA:Hussein.” The next time someone tells you that members of the Tea Party are not racist, vile, violent and deranged, show them Palin’s favorite “tweet”.

THIS JUST IN: It was nice to see the Democrats pick-up a few election victories after Tuesday. Patty Murray won a Washington Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Dino Rossi; Pat Quinn won the Illinois Governor’s race by defeating far-right Republican Bill Brady; John Kitzhaber won the Oregon Governor’s race by defeating Republican Chris Dudley; Michael Bennet won a Colorado Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Ken Buck and John Hickenlooper won the Colorado Governor’s race by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Tea-Bagger Tom Tancredo. Dan Malloy won the Connecticut Governor’s race by defeating republican Tom Foley. Most surprising of all however, was that Jenny Oropeza won a California state senate seat by defeating Republican John Stammreich. This is startling because Ms. Oropeza passed away two weeks before the election.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Never Trust An Unnamed Source Unless It Furthers My Agenda” features Minnesota’s Teapublican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. The moon-bat crazy Bachmann was punked into believing an anonymous source quoted by an Indian newspaper that claimed that President Obama’s 10 day trip to India will cost in excess of $ 2 billion: $200 million a day, 34 diverted Navy ships, a 2,000-person presidential entourage, and 870 hotel rooms in India. To put things in perspective, the alleged daily cost of the trip would exceed the daily cost of the Afghan war. When pressed by CNN‘s Anderson Cooper to back up her numbers, Bachmann responded, “These are the numbers that are coming out in the press.” Of course she forgot to mention that the “press’ which she relied upon consisted of an unnamed Indian and the Drudge Report. The story has been denied by the Obama administration as “wildly inflated”. Michelle Bachmann is a crazy person and anyone that votes for her should be institutionalized.

THIS JUST IN: The next time some Tea Partier tells you that, as a result of the Republican capture of the House of Representatives in the last election, the Health Care Reform Law will now be repealed, tell them this. Tommy Thompson, the health and human services secretary under President George W. Bush says,

“When it’s all said and done, you’re not going to be able to repeal health care because President Obama is not going to sign it. And they don’t have enough votes to override a veto, so why push a cart uphill when you know it’s not going to be able to get to the top?”

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Ouch! That’s Gonna Leave A Mark” co-stars former President George W. Bush and former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. The concensus fifth worst President in the history of our great nation has told friends that Palin is not qualified to be President. “Naming Palin makes Bush think less of McCain as a man,” a Republican official familiar with Bush’s thinking told the Daily News. “He thinks McCain ran a lousy campaign with an unqualified running mate and destroyed any chance of winning by picking Palin.” Heckuva job, McCain.
THIS JUST IN: David Letterman: “[Sarah Palin] says she wants limited government. … Does she mean fewer elected officials? Or few elected officials who will resign in the middle of their term? I think limited government will be perfect for her limited abilities.”
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

The Ballad Of Davey Crockett song link:  http://www.televisiontunes.com/Davey_Crocket.html

THE BALLAD OF SARAH PALIN

(sung to the television theme song “Ballad Of Davey Crockett”)

Lives in a compound up in Wassilly,
Behind a big fence so Joe can’t see
She got a taste of being “Mavericky”,
So she quit her job as Alaska’s G
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Tea-Baggers follow her where she goes,
Starin’ at their tv’s when she’s on Fox shows
A Palin sighting sets them all aglow,
As she shakes their hands and then takes all their dough
Sarah, Sarah Palin, spreading her hate and fear!

Through Red State woods she’s a marchin’ along,
Makin’ up yarns like her “death panel” song
Her looks are frightenin’ and she smells quite strong,
She’s really just a liar with facts all wrong
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the brain-dead buccaneer!

Letterman said that she dresses like a whore,
Then she screamed so much that her throat got sore
She had money but she needed some more,
Got herself a Greyhound for her book tour
Sarah, Sarah Palin, profiteering pioneer!

She says the Lord is her guiding hand,
And dinosaurs co-existed with man
All those books that disagree should be banned,
That sciencey stuff she don’t understand
Sarah, Sarah Palin, logic she will not hear!

She believes that Congress should go to Hell,
She will send them there by castin’ a witch spell
Palin wants Washington to listen well,
To all those fabrications that she does tell
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the moonbat of the year!

When she goes home her politickin’ done,
Alaskans all will up and run
But Sarah will pick up her trusty gun,
And shoot up all her neighbors just for fun
Sarah, Sarah Palin, her rifle sight is clear!

She moved to Houston an’ Austin so,
To the southern states she just had to go
Tea-Baggers were fightin’ another foe,
And Sarah hates the immigrant Joe
Sarah, Sarah Palin, nativist without peer!

She’s not the smartest but she is dumbest,
Despite six schools could not pass a test
When it comes to being dumb she’s the best,
She should make her home in a cuckoo’s nest
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Tea-Baggers Squeezed Dry In Massachusetts

Pres. Barack Obama and MA Gov. Deval Patrick

It was not all bad news yesterday. The Democrats lost the House as expected but they maintained control of the Senate. Consequently, there is no chance that radically conservative bills can emerge from Congress. Furthermore, virtually all of Sarah Palin’s hand chosen Tea Party crackpots lost. The voters said “no” to Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. The voters said “no” to Christine “Masturbation is Adultery” O’Donnell. The voters said “no” to Linda “Women are Sex Objects” McMahon. The voters said “no” to Carly “Worst CEO in History” Fiorina. The voters said “no” to Meg “Illegal Housekeeper” Whitman. The voters said “no” to John “Lasers in the Sky” Raese. The voters said “no” to Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat. The voters said “no” to Tom “Let’s Bomb Mecca” Tancredo. And, it looks like the voters will say “no” to Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller and Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. In short, Sarah Palin was “refudiated” in a big way.

Additionally, it is now apparent that Scott “Nudist” Brown’s Tea Party fueled Senate victory in Massachusetts last January was a fluke. Unlike most every other state (with the notable exceptions of New York and California), Massachusetts elected Democrats to virtually every elective office yesterday. Indeed, the state is bluer today than it was yesterday.

Brown’s surprise election was heralded (mostly by the Boston Herald Enquirer) as the beginning of a Republican revolution in the Bay State. He emboldened the state G.O.P. to challenge incumbent Democrats for the first time in decades. Problem is, the Republicans had no credible candidates. Additionally, Brown’s victory did not serve to energize the G.O.P. as much as it served to awaken and energize the hibernating Democratic Party voters who had become complacent after so many years of success. In short, Massachusetts voters vowed that they would not be fooled again. And they were not.

In yesterday’s elections, all statewide elected offices, including a closely fought governor’s race, and the entire 10-member US House delegation remained in Democratic hands, despite a national tide that left Republicans celebrating large gains last night. The Boston Globe reports that Peter Ubertaccio, a political science professor at Stonehill College said, “I don’t know how they view this as anything but a total disaster. I just don’t know what a political party does if all indicators across the nation, across the state, all point to a Republican year and they can’t win any races.”

Perhaps longterm Congressman Barney Frank put it best in his victory speech when he said, “The campaigns run by most Republicans were beneath the dignity of a democracy, and I am delighted they were repudiated.’’

Lynnrockets congratulates:

Deval Patrick
Barney Frank
John Tierney
Bill Keating
John Olver
Richard Neal
Jim McGovern
Niki Tsongas
Ed Markey
Mike Capuano
Stephen “Dino” Lynch
Steve Grossman
Suzanne Bump
Martha Coakley
Bill Galvin
Ben Downing
James Timilty
Mike Rodrigues
Mark Montigny
Dan Wolf
Steve Baddour
Fred Berry
Barry Finegold
Tom McGee
Jim Welch
Gale Candaras
Eileen Donaghue
Cynthia Creem
Karen Spilka
Sal DiDomenico
Jim Eldridge
Brian Joyce
John Keenan
Therese Murray
Marc Pacheco
Tom Kennedy
Anthony Petruccelli
Mike Bush
Harriette Chandler
Steve Brewer
Jen Flanagan and
Richard Moore

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Scott Brown's favorite birthday suit

Charlie Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk

SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Coasters song “Charlie Brown”)

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
He’s the senator that will bare his bum

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He likes to bare his bod
In those magazines
(That’s why everybody’s always pickin’ on me)

That’s him on his knees
I know that’s him
Yeah, from 7 come 11
Down in the Senate gym

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
Craig thinks that he’s hot
He hopes to steal a peek
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

Who’s always nude at the roll call?
Who’s lurking in the men’s room stalls?
Who’s sporting his bat and balls?
Guess who? (who me?) yeah, you!

Who walks through the Senate dumb and slow?
Who calls Mitch McConnell, Daddy-O?

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s going down, next time around
His votes can be bought
Just you wait and see
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

(musical interlude)

He is in the Party that says “No”
With his private parts swinging to and fro

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He’s showing a lot
His bum, his wee-wee
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

Sarah Palin Is “Dowd” And Out

Maureen "O'Dowd" and the Queen of Quit

This week’s “I Gotcha” moment was delivered by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd (or “O’Dowd” as Sarah Palin calls her much like she called Joe Biden, “O’Biden”). In her column last Sunday, Dowd identified Sarah Palin, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell, California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman, California Senate candidate Carly Fiorina, Connecticut Senate candidate Linda McMahon, Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle, and Rep. Michele Bachmann as “grown-up versions of those teenage tormentors who would steal your boyfriend, spray-paint your locker and, just for good measure, spread rumors that you were pregnant.”

Palin of course was insulted, but in typical Palin fashion, she could not let the slight go without a snarky response. She promptly ran to Fox News and said,

“That’s so funny, because I don’t think I’ve ever met that gal, Maureen Dowd – O’Dowd – whatever the heck her name is.

I don’t think I’ve ever met her, and I don’t think – she probably hasn’t met [Arizona Gov.] Jan Brewer or some of these other wonderful, pleasant, gracious, nice, hard-working mama grizzlies who are wanting to turn this country around.

So Maureen can say whatever she says. I encourage the other mama grizzlies and liberty-loving Americans to just keep smiling.”

Here is the rub. Maureen Dowd has pointed out that the only reason Sarah Palin never met her was because Dowd was barred from doing so. The Huffington Post reports that Dowd explained the circumstances as follows:

“I was eager to travel with her and interview her when she first got appointed by McCain,” said Dowd. “I think she’s a fascinating figure in the history of politics. But I was immediately barred from their campaign planes by the same McCain aides Palin later “escaped” from.”

So Sarah, you can blame your own campaign for never having met Maureen “O’Dowd”.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OR6HkGS11c

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 54

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” features California’s Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. It has been revealed that the “get tough on illegal immigration” candidate employed an undocumented illegal housekeeper for some nine years. The worker has also claimed that Whitman treated her poorly much of that time. it will be fun to see Whitman try to dig herself out of this one.

THIS JUST IN: Garrison Keillor says Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, “embarrassing to me and a great many Minnesotans”. Good for you and all the citizens of Lake Wobegon, Mr. Keillor.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Senate candidate and World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon (CT) this week stated that she believes Congress should consider lowering the minimum wage. When questioned by reporters as to what her state’s minimum wage is however, she was forced to admit that she did not know the answer. She then said that she “was just not going to comment any more on the subject. McMahon is just another example of an angry but uninformed Republican.

THIS JUST IN: As for Republican/Tea Party Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell, the OstroyReport says, “She’s scarcer than an Osama bin Laden video. Harder to find than Waldo. The burning question in Delaware these days is, “Where’s Christine?” As the NY Times reported Thursday, the state’s cracked-Tea-Pot Senate candidate, Christine O’Donnell, is apparently in hiding. And why not? She’s terrified of opening her mouth in public. I guess those grass roots have rotted.” “Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Hurting the Country” features, you guessed it, the US Senate Republicans. On Sept. 30, the TANF Emergency Contingency Fund (TEF) — considered one of the most successful stimulus programs, having created 250,000 jobs for previously unemployed workers — expires. The Obama administration and Democrats had requested $1.5 to $2.5 billion to keep it going for another year. The House has passed two extenders, but yesterday, legislation failed again in the Senate because of Republican opposition. That means employers are now faced with laying off the TEF workers, as many as 100,000 into an economy that already has 14.9 million unemployed.

THIS JUST IN: Never mind that Republican New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino has a taste for racist emails, a desire to put welfare recipients into prison dorms and teach them “personal hygiene… the personal things they don’t get when they come from dysfunctional homes.” Just last week he threatened to “take out” a New York Post reporter. Does that sound like a criminal threat to anybody else?

BREAKING NEWS: Cable news ratings for the third quarter reveal that FOX NEWS’ ratings have fallen 21% in total viewers – and 26% for younger viewers. To add insult to injury, MSNBC‘s audience is growing. Does this mean that Americans are waking up?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Whatever Happened To … ?” features Ann “The Man” Coulter and Michelle “Anchor Baby” Malkin. Has anybody seen or heard from the Coulter guy or Malkin in the last number of Months? Is it time to put their pictures on a milk carton?

BREAKING NEWS: Bill Mahar did us a solid on Friday night when he released his newest embarrassing clip of Republican/Tea Partier, Christine O’Donnell. In this clip O’Donnell is revealed as being amenable to any religion which includes her eating habits. The clip shows her admitting, “I would have become a Hare Krishna, but I didn’t want to become a vegetarian. And that is honestly the reason why, because I’m Italian and I love meatballs.” So, forget spirituality, it is the menu that is important when it comes to worship in the mind of Christine. Also, just wondering, but isn’t O’Donnell an awfully Irish sounding Italian name?

Well, until next week…

GO PACKERS!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Fox On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MDCbIhTa_w

FOX ON THE RUN

(sung to the Sweet song “Fox On The Run”)

Why is that network insane
No one there has a brain
So easy to abhor
Each day they add a new pretty face
But they’re losing in the gene pool race
They speak like sidewalk whores

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Koo-Koo, that is the Fox network brand
As “fair and balanced” as DisneyLand
So easy to ignore
News, that is so God damned lame
Should hide their heads in shame
And show their hosts the door

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

(musical interlude)

F-foxy, Fox is on the run
They scream and think that we’re having fun
Take a run and hide yourself away
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.