Blog Archives

Failin’ Palin Gives Advice To Mitt(wit) Romney

The absurdity of the race that is “The Koch Brothers Flying Republican Nomination Circus” was on full display Saturday.

Sarah Palin decided to give advice to Mitt Romney. In an interview with CNN and The New York Times before her speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, Palin said she was confused by Romney’s declaration here on Friday that he was a “severely conservative Republican.” “I wasn’t quite sure what the word ‘severely’ meant,” Palin said. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska also said Romney needs to better explain his “shifts in ideology” (i.e. his 100s of flip-flops).

“You have to have the Tea Party patriots enthused and energized in order to win this nomination, and more importantly in order to defeat Barack Obama,” Palin argued.

Think about that for a moment. The woman who knows absolutely nothing about how to defeat Barack Obama is giving advice as to how to do so. Does Palin forget that she and John McCain were trounced by Barack Obama and Joe Biden in the 2008 election?

Sarah Palin, the reality television personality has nothing to offer in the form of advice regarding how to beat the man who so convincingly defeated her!

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Crazy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OVtpnpCOKM

CRAZY

(sung to the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”)

Crazy
Palin is chock-full of baloney
She’s crazy
Crazy and without a clue

We knew
She’s psychologically haunted
And that someday
She’d make her asylum debut

Sorry
She could be a guest on Maury
Wondrin’
How did she go so koo-koo

Oh, crazy
As crazy as her husband, First Dude
There’s no use denyin’
Cheatin’ and lyin’
Sarah’s crazy
We know it’s true

Crazy
We’re not sure if Palin’s sniffing glue
It seems like she’s flyin’
We’re not just implyin’
Sarah’s crazy
We know it’s true

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Hooray!!! The Sarah Palin Comedy Show Redux !!!

Hold on to your seats folks. The fun may be set to begin again. Just when you thought you had laughed at every clown in the Koch Bros. and Tea Party Flying Circus, we may have a new entertainer re-emerging. No, not Herman Cain. Nope, not Chris Christie. We are not even speaking of The Donald. We may have ourselves a genuine mental case resurfacing in the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Ladies and gentlemen please rise and put your hands together for none other than “The Alaska Disaster”, “The Queen of Quit”, Sarah Palin!

Seriously. This is not a joke. While appearing on Fox News (where else?) last night, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said that she may enter the race despite her firm pronouncement to the contrary on October 5th. When asked by the host whether anybody else might still get involved in the presidential race, Palin said “It’s not too late for folks to jump in. Who knows what will happen in the future.”

Bloggers everywhere are now salivating. There is nothing more entertaining than watching Sarah Palin make a public fool of herself as she tries to make a point. Remember the time when she was speaking at that farm while a poor turkey was having his head chopped off right behind her? How about the time she was caught with crib-notes  written on her hand during a televised interview? Who will ever forget the time that she completely botched the purpose and method of Paul Revere’s famous Midnight Ride just after she visited the Old North church in Boston? Then there was the time when she could not tell a 5th grader what the Vice president does. Most entertaining of all, of course, were her hilarious televised interviews with Katie Couric and Charles Gibson. Ahhh, those halcyon days of Palin!

This may be the best Christmas present many of us could possibly hope for.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday season inspired song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND (Part 2)

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Intellect, you are missing
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
What’s that sound that you’re hissing?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold some books and made a lot of dough, man
They had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland

Another One Bites The Dust

It is with deep regret that we ask you to click on the song link here for a final time before reading this blog post so that you may enjoy some very appropriate background music which we will forever remember as “Herman’s Theme”.

First it was Tim Pawlenty. Then it was Donald Trump. Next it was Sarah Palin. Then it was Chris Christie. Now it is Herman Cain who has quit his quest for the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Cain has announced that he is suspending his campaign because of the barrage of sexual harassment and marital infidelity claims that have been levied against him in the last few weeks. Cain made the decision after having had a long conversation with his wife and several girlfriends. Final score? Girlfriends 1, Cain 0. Cain learned that it is very difficult to profess to being a devout family man when you are accused of a life of lewd sexual behavior by several woman who are not your wife. At least Cain will not have to submit to that lie detector test which he volunteered for last month.

During his announcement, Herman Cain continued to deny any misconduct on his part. He said, “These false and untrue allegations continue to be spinned in the media, and in the court of public opinion so as to create a cloud of doubt over me and this campaign and my family. That spin hurts. It hurts my wife. It hurts my family. It hurts me. And it hurts the American people, because you are being denied solutions to our problems.” Cain then said, “I am not going to be silenced and I am not going away.” Immediately thereafter however, Herman Cain was silent and then he went away.

It would have been so much more dramatic if he uttered those famous words which he first voiced when he announced his candidacy…”AW, Shucky Ducky!” In any event, the “Cain Train” (as he refererd to his campaign) is now nothing more than a train wreck. Good riddance, Herman. Don’t let the Koch Brothers kick you in the rear as you exit the public stage.

Inasmuch as near every Republican candidate is imploding before even a single primary election vote has been cast, it is likely that President Obama will run unopposed in 2012.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Hurricane” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YngpWylqQ3A

HERMAN CAIN

 (sung to the Bob Dylan song “Hurricane”)

Herman Cain shouts out to the radical right
He was doin’ pretty fine but now he will fall
His 9-9-9 plan was a resounding dud
Romney and Perry are having a ball
Here comes the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Herman was chosen by the Tea Party
The only black man to be brainwashed by the GOP
“I will do it” he said as they were clapping hands
“But my views do not register with all the other black men”
“They’re non-believers” he says and he stops
“There’s already a black man at the top”
“Can I keep my pizza shops?”
“Will I somehow make the scene with my liberal-bashin’
“As a black man on the right?”

Meanwhile far away in another part of town
The Koch Brothers and a couple of friends are drivin’ around
They needed somebody to don the right-wing crown
Had no idea the kind of idiots who were hangin’ around
Michele Bachmann looked like she was about to explode
Just like the time before Mitt Romney can’t stand pat
And Rick Perry is just too dumb and slow
He’s a hack… and he is destined for a big defeat
And Obama must be beat!

All these fellows prompted laugher and had no chance to reach the top
The Koch Brothers oh so sadly were just out prowling around
They said, “the other men running, they are lightweight candidates”
“They’ll look like morons when they get to the debates”
Those ol’ boys were just inclined to scratch their sore heads
Koch said, “Wait a minute boys, here’s our thoroughbred!”
He then suggested good ol’ Herman C.
And though this man had no history
They told him that he could surely be their chosen man.

Four in the morning and they called Herman in
They were downright hospitable and they calmed all his fears
Then Herman Cain looked up through his two crying eyes
Says, “I’m shedding all these tears because I’m your guy”
Yes, this is the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Four months later and Wall Street is inflamed
Herman tells the jobless that they are all to blame
While all those bailed-out bankers profit from their greedy games
And Cain sides with the shifty one-percent while he calls the protesters names
He went even further but he went too far
By raisin’ taxes on those workers at the bar
He showed his tax plan had a fatal flaw
Ol’ Herman Cain began to hem and haw…running in fright
Even attacked from the right.

Now all those Tea-Baggers said, “I’m really not sure”
“Raise all our taxes? Please give us a break!”
“We picked you for this cushy job but just maybe you’re not our fellow”
“Now just like flip-flopping Romney, it seems your spine’s made of Jello”
“You best modify your bad behavior”
“Or Newt Gingrich will become our newest flavor!”
“Now you best listen to us, Sir”
“Don’t wanna pin our hopes and dreams upon him”
“Our view of him is quite dim.”

Cain had to take a stand and he had a hunch
But his cigarette smoking ad proved he was out to lunch
It’s a YouTube play and it was a bad day
Now that it’s over he hopes that it just goes away
Reviews weren’t very nice
Still the next time though, he better think twice
His campaign ad an epic fail
What can Herman do next to bail out?
Cuz he’ll never be the man in the White House

All of Herman’s cards were marked in advance
His campaign was a circus, he never had a chance
He tried to cast detractors as drunkards from the slums
To the sane folks who watched he was a corporate-crony bum
He was a big dope with an ego even bigger
No one doubted he was a gold-digger
And he proved he never was “the one”
The Koch Brothers chose the wrong son.. oh yes, indeed
And all the Tea-Baggers agreed.

Cain was later identified
By two former employees who testified
Of sexual harassment of which Cain lied
And the newspapers they all went along for the ride
How can the wife of such a man
Proudly wear his stained wedding band?
While he claims that he was framed?
Herman Cain should be rightly ashamed… to be such a man
Who would deny his blame.

Now the Koch Brothers in their coats and their ties
Are glad to drink martinis and choose their next guy
There must be somebody out there that they can sell
Cuz Herman Cain he was not all that swell
That’s the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Herman Has A Koch/Cain Habit

Last week we commented upon the close ties between Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain and the billionaire radically conservative Koch brothers.

Charles and David Koch of course, are the billionaire brothers who own Koch Industries which happens to be the largest privately owned company in the United States. That business was also recently implicated by Bloomberg Markets as having illegally sold millions of dollars worth of equipment to Iran in violation of United States laws.  The brothers have used their immense wealth in every way possible to influence and maintain governmental policies which keep the rich wealthy and make them richer, while decreasing the wealth of the working and middle classes. The Koch brothers fund conservative and libertarian policy and advocacy groups such as the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute and the Tea Party parent organization known as Americans for Prosperity. The AFP’s agenda includes weakening private and public sector unions, opposing environmental regulations and undoing Obama’s health care reform law, among other policies. To date, the Koch brothers have donated more than $100 million to these and similar organizations. In fact, Koch Industries has spent more than $50 million to lobby in Washington since 2006, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.

The Washington Post reported that Herman Cain’s economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to the Koch brothers. The Post reports,

“Cain’s campaign manager and a number of aides have worked for Americans for Prosperity, or AFP, the advocacy group founded with support from billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch, which lobbies for lower taxes and less government regulation and spending. Cain credits a businessman who served on an AFP advisory board with helping devise his “9-9-9” plan to rewrite the nation’s tax code. And his years of speaking at AFP events have given the businessman and radio host a network of loyal grassroots fans.”

Herman Cain has now doubled-down on his close ties to the Koch brothers. Last Friday while delivering a speech at a summit hosted by the aforementioned Americans for Prosperity in Washington, D.C., Cain stated that he takes pride in his relationship with the Kochs. His exact words?

“I’m their brother from another mother and proud of it!”

This outright support for the radically conservative brothers is not likely to sit well with mainstream Independents who are very important in the electoral process. When you add in the fact that Cain is completely befuddled by the status of China’s military nuclear capability and the recent revelations of multiple instances of alleged sexual misconduct, it appears that Herman Cain’s candidacy is a sinking ship.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody which was inspired by loyal Rocketeer, Sharon Antoinette Alexander.

Cocaine” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4spg8vyo

KOCH/CAIN

(sung to the Eric Clapton song “Cocaine”)

If you’re having some doubt at who to kick about, Koch/Cain
If you’re laying face down, down on the ground, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

If you watch Fox News, you’ll see they love those dudes, Koch/Cain
Mitt Romney is done but this bunch is fun, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

(election influencing break)

Rick Perry is gone so they bought a new pawn, Koch/Cain
But this is a fact, Herm Cain don’t know jack, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 96

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  We had some good news this week. U.S. private employers added 104,000 jobs in October (public sector jobs were diminished by 24,000 as the GOP likes). Also, the national unemployment rate has dropped to 9%. Additionally, average hourly earnings rose.

THIS JUST IN:  We are saddened to learn that the blog known as Palingates has ceased publishing new posts. Palingates was one of the better forums known for exposing the lies and scandals of Sarah Palin. Perhaps the blog played a part in ending Palin’s four year tease about seeking the Presidency. When the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska announced last month that she would not join the Republican field of candidates, she faded from the public eye and Palingate’s mission was accomplished. The blog’s creator lives on however in a more generalized blog known as “What Time is O’Clock?” which can be found here.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see the world’s second richest man and one of America’s most famous “job creators” advocating for a Wall Street transaction tax often referred to as “the Robin Hood Tax” as a means to raise funds for the poor. Bill Gates advocated just such a tax at the G20 summit this week. That should provide quite a kick to the Republican hornets’ nest. will the GOP now turn against another successful capitalist as they did with Warren Buffett? of course they will.

THIS JUST IN:  It was nice to see six Democratic Senators (Tom Udall, Michael Bennett, Tom Harkin, Dick Durbin, Chuck Schumer, Sheldon Whitehouse and Jeff Merkely) introduce a constitutional amendment that would effectively overturn the Citizens United case and restore the ability of Congress to properly regulate the campaign finance system. The amendment as filed resolves that both Congress and individual states shall have the power to regulate both the amount of contributions made directly to candidates for elected office and “the amount of expenditures that may be made by, in support of, or in opposition to such candidates.” The bill has little chance of success with all the republican opposition, but it is reassuring to see that at least six elected officials are listening to the 99%.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “It Don’t Get Any Crazier Than This” features Birther Extraordinaire and dentist/realtor/attorney Orly Taitz. The wacky Taitz who has not only had all of her Birther lawsuits thrown out of court, but who also has been personally sanctioned by the courts, has decided to run for the U.S. Senate against Democrat Dianne Feinstein in California. Honestly, where does the Republican Party come up with these nut-job candidates?

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “He May Be A Flip-Flopper But At Least He Tells The Truth Sometimes” features Mitt Romney. A Romney campaign memo was revealed this week in which the Koch Brothers are described as the “financial engine of the Tea Party.” It is refreshing to finally see a Republican bust the myth that the Tea Party is a grassroots movement.

BREAKING NEWS:  Another example of a sighting of the rare species known as the “truthful Republican” is Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. The former Republican Congressman and the lone Republican in the Obama Cabinet had this to say about the Republican party and its Tea Party devotees:

“The infrastructure bill would put thousands of people to work, but because of their own personal political feelings against the president, they don’t want to hand him a victory. The crowd that was elected the last time not only came here to do nothing, they also came to put down the president. And the way to put him down is not to give him any kind of opportunity to be successful. Republicans made a decision right after the election—don’t give Obama any victories. The heck with putting people to work, because we can score points.”

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of the Tea Party, the most recent Time magazine poll reveals an interesting statistic. 54% of Americans say they have a positive view of the Occupy Wall Street movement, while 23% have a negative view. On the other hand, just 27% have a positive view of the Tea Party, while 65% say that movement has had a negative impact on politics.

GO PACKERS !!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Herman Cain: The Audacity of Grope

"Hello there, little lady."

Before reading this blog post you may want to click on the link below to listen to some appropriate 70’s porn background music as you continue.

Click here for background theme.

Let’s be blunt. Herman Cain is having a very bad week. Sexual harassment claims never end on a good note. In the case of Mr. Cain, it appears that he now must address at least three such instances of bad behavior. First, we learned of the two women who allegedly received damage settlements from the National Restaurant Association while Cain was the leader of the group. Then just a few days later we learned that another female victim has emerged. We also now have a witness to at least two of the events and an Iowa conservative radio host who claims that his receptionist was also subjected to some inappropriate behavior on the part of Cain. Just wondering, but were all of these women “just about the same height as” Cain’s wife? We all know that old adage, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire”.

Cain has not helped himself in deflecting the accusations either. His recollection of events has changed as many times as he has apparently changed victims. His story began with no knowledge on his part of any events. It then changed to a story that the women were provided termination packages and not damage settlements. From there it morphed into hand gestures around his mouth area being wrongly interpreted as something sinister when he was actually just commenting on the height of his wife. Then, just yesterday Cain decided to stop talking about the subject at all and he yelled at reporters for asking questions. Yikes!

To add fuel to the fire of this developing situation, it has been speculated that it is Republicans who have unearthed the story in an attempt to bring down Herman Cain’s candidacy for the presidency. At this point Cain’s people are pointing the finger at Rick Perry. The Mitt Romney campaign has also been suspected however. The irony of all this is that Cain claims to be the victim of unproven accusations and yet he has very quickly alleged unfounded accusations against his political opponents. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

As we said earlier, seldom do these situations end on a good note. Recent examples are John Edwards, Mark Sanford, Mark Souder and Anthony Weiner. If these allegations against Herman Cain prove to be true, we will know one thing for certain: “Cain is not Able”.

Herman Cain is now finished. Inasmuch as Rick Perry and Chris Christie are also gone, who will be the Republicans’ next flavor of the month? Marco Rubio are you out there?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Hurricane” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YngpWylqQ3A

HERMAN CAIN

 (sung to the Bob Dylan song “Hurricane”)

Herman Cain shouts out to the radical right
He was doin’ pretty fine but now he will fall
His 9-9-9 plan was a resounding dud
Romney and Perry are having a ball
Here comes the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Herman was chosen by the Tea Party
The only black man to be brainwashed by the GOP
“I will do it” he said as they were clapping hands
“But my views do not register with all the other black men”
“They’re non-believers” he says and he stops
“There’s already a black man at the top”
“Can I keep my pizza shops?”
“Will I somehow make the scene with my liberal-bashin’
“As a black man on the right?”

Meanwhile far away in another part of town
The Koch Brothers and a couple of friends are drivin’ around
They needed somebody to don the right-wing crown
Had no idea the kind of idiots who were hangin’ around
Michele Bachmann looked like she was about to explode
Just like the time before Mitt Romney can’t stand pat
And Rick Perry is just too dumb and slow
He’s a hack… and he is destined for a big defeat
And Obama must be beat!

All these fellows prompted laugher and had no chance to reach the top
The Koch Brothers oh so sadly were just out prowling around
They said, “the other men running, they are lightweight candidates”
“They’ll look like morons when they get to the debates”
Those ol’ boys were just inclined to scratch their sore heads
Koch said, “Wait a minute boys, here’s our thoroughbred!”
He then suggested good ol’ Herman C.
And though this man had no history
They told him that he could surely be their chosen man.

Four in the morning and they called Herman in
They were downright hospitable and they calmed all his fears
Then Herman Cain looked up through his two crying eyes
Says, “I’m shedding all these tears because I’m your guy”
Yes, this is the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Four months later and Wall Street is inflamed
Herman tells the jobless that they are all to blame
While all those bailed-out bankers profit from their greedy games
And Cain sides with the shifty one-percent while he calls the protesters names
He went even further but he went too far
By raisin’ taxes on those workers at the bar
He showed his tax plan had a fatal flaw
Ol’ Herman Cain began to hem and haw…running in fright
Even attacked from the right.

Now all those Tea-Baggers said, “I’m really not sure”
“Raise all our taxes? Please give us a break!”
“We picked you for this cushy job but just maybe you’re not our fellow”
“Now just like flip-flopping Romney, it seems your spine’s made of Jello”
“You best modify your bad behavior”
“Or Newt Gingrich will become our newest flavor!”
“Now you best listen to us, Sir”
“Don’t wanna pin our hopes and dreams upon him”
“Our view of him is quite dim.”

Cain had to take a stand and he had a hunch
But his cigarette smoking ad proved he was out to lunch
It’s a YouTube play and it was a bad day
Now that it’s over he hopes that it just goes away
Reviews weren’t very nice
Still the next time though, he better think twice
His campaign ad an epic fail
What can Herman do next to bail out?
Cuz he’ll never be the man in the White House

All of Herman’s cards were marked in advance
His campaign was a circus, he never had a chance
He tried to cast detractors as drunkards from the slums
To the sane folks who watched he was a corporate-crony bum
He was a big dope with an ego even bigger
No one doubted he was a gold-digger
And he proved he never was “the one”
The Koch Brothers chose the wrong son.. oh yes, indeed
And all the Tea-Baggers agreed.

Cain was later identified
By two former employees who testified
Of sexual harassment of which Cain lied
And the newspapers they all went along for the ride
How can the wife of such a man
Proudly wear his stained wedding band?
While he claims that he was framed?
Herman Cain should be rightly ashamed… to be such a man
Who would deny his blame.

Now the Koch Brothers in their coats and their ties
Are glad to drink martinis and choose their next guy
There must be somebody out there that they can sell
Cuz Herman Cain he was not all that swell
That’s the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Tea Baggers Are Hooked On Koch/Cain!

Photo credited to AddictingInfo.org

It looks like the Koch Brothers have found their man and his name is Herman Cain.

Charles and David Koch of course, are the billionaire brothers who own Koch Industries which happens to be the largest privately owned company in the United States. That business was also recently implicated by Bloomberg Markets as having illegally sold millions of dollars worth of equipment to Iran in violation of United States laws.  The brothers have used their immense wealth in every way possible to influence and maintain governmental policies which keep the rich wealthy and make them richer, while decreasing the wealth of the working and middle classes. The Koch brothers fund conservative and libertarian policy and advocacy groups such as the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute and the Tea Party parent organization known as Americans for Prosperity. The AFP’s agenda includes weakening private and public sector unions, opposing environmental regulations and undoing Obama’s health care reform law, among other policies. To date, the Koch brothers have donated more than $100 million to these and similar organizations. In fact, Koch Industries has spent more than $50 million to lobby in Washington since 2006, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.

Herman Cain of course, is the self-defined political outsider in the present crop of Republican Presidential candidates. He is the former CEO of the second-rate fast-food chain known as Godfather’s Pizza. Cain insists that his outsider status and real-world experience differentiates him from political insiders who have been influenced by lobbyists. In other words, Cain portrays himself as being clean and unblemished by politics and the crony-capitalism that has fueled the ire of both the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street movements.

Unfortunately for Cain, his self-description is not accurate. The Washington Post reports that Cain’s economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to the Koch brothers. The Post reports,

“Cain’s campaign manager and a number of aides have worked for Americans for Prosperity, or AFP, the advocacy group founded with support from billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch, which lobbies for lower taxes and less government regulation and spending. Cain credits a businessman who served on an AFP advisory board with helping devise his “9-9-9” plan to rewrite the nation’s tax code. And his years of speaking at AFP events have given the businessman and radio host a network of loyal grassroots fans.”

Cain must realize that his ties to the Koch brothers and AFP will not sit well with many voters. The Post further reveals, “While Cain is quick to promote his career at the helm of the Godfather’s Pizza chain, his ties to AFP aren’t something the candidate appears eager to highlight. Cain does not include his AFP work on his biography on his website.”

Well Herman, you know what they say: You can run but you cannot hide.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody which was inspired by loyal Rocketeer, Sharon Antoinette Alexander.

Cocaine” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4spg8vyo

KOCH/CAIN

(sung to the Eric Clapton song “Cocaine”)

If you’re having some doubt at who to kick about, Koch/Cain
If you’re laying face down, down on the ground, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

If you watch Fox News, you’ll see they love those dudes, Koch/Cain
Mitt Romney is done but this bunch is fun, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

(election influencing break)

Rick Perry is gone so they bought a new pawn, Koch/Cain
But this is a fact, Herm Cain don’t know jack, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 92

Lynnrockets apologizes for the lack of a post yesterday. There simply was not enough time. You see, we made our annual trek out west to Springfield, Massachusetts to take in The Big E, also known as The Eastern States Exposition. Think state fair. The Big E is not the oldest fair in the nation, that distinction belongs to the much closer (to Boston) Topsfield Fair, nor does its scope encompass all of the eastern seaboard states. It is sort of the combined fair for the six New England states (Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Maine and Vermont for those of you who might be a little rusty).

It is however, BIG. Very BIG by New England standards. It has all the usual trappings such as livestock competitions, produce contests and each state highlighting products which it believes differentiates it from the others. It has also has the more modern gimmicks such as hundreds of food concessions selling everything from whole turkey legs, to the BIG E Burger (a cheeseburger with bacon sandwiched between a sliced honeydew donut) to this year’s newest fad, fried Kool Aid (I like to think that is marketed to any attendees who may belong to the Tea Party). The Big E also has a giant midway with thrill rides which appear to have been designed with the singular purpose of forcing you to regurgitate anything you may have been foolish enough to eat.

Despite the absurdity of the whole scene. We look forward to the Big E each year as sort of the official beginning of our wonderful New England foliage-bursting autumn season. Simply stated, without the Big E, something would feel like it was missing.

That being said, let’s get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Here are a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  What in the wide, wide world of sports happened to the Boston Red Sox?

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Another One Bites The Dust” features Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain‘s communications director Ellen Carmichael (and her assistant), who abruptly quit. This departure follows upon the exit of two other Cain staffers in June. When asked by CNN if the resignations signaled trouble within the Cain campaign, Carmichael responded, “No comment”. Sometimes just a few words can convey a big message.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Herman Cain, did any of you happen to catch his appearance with Jay Leno last week? When asked by Leno if he stands by his assertion that he would not appoint a Muslim to his cabinet, Cain nervously backtracked and said that he never really meant what he said. He told Leno and the suspicious audience that it should have been clear that what he meant was he “would not appoint a radical Jihadist to his cabinet”. When Leno pointed out that nobody would appoint a Jihadist to his/her cabinet and asked why Cain simply didn’t use the word “Jihadist”, Cain answered that he had wanted to err on the side of safety so he included all Muslims in his statement. “Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN:  After the killing of top-level  al Qaeda recruiter Anwar al-Awlaki, President Barack Obama is receiving some well-deserved credit from Republican politicians. Newt Gingrich said, “We’re going to take out al Qaeda the way they just did it in Yemen, where I do give the President credit”. Mitt Romney said, “I commend the President…”. GOP Rep. Peter King, chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security said it is “a tremendous tribute to the President…” These are exactly the type of words that give acid indigestion to Teapublicans. Break out the Rolaids.

BREAKING NEWS:  Stay tuned. The notorious and radically conservative billionaire Republican financiers the Koch brothers, are about to be exposed in a very unflattering light. Bloomberg Markets magazine is about to release an article which allegedly focuses on malfeasance and/or fraud and/or bad behavior by the conglomerate known as Koch Industries. There must be some truth to the report because the Koch brothers are releasing their public relations lackeys to discredit the story before it is even released. Could it be that a periodical other than the National Enquirer is poised to break an important political story? Enquiring minds want to know.

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but why is the allegedly liberally-biased mainstream media failing to report on the now week-long “Occupy Wall Street” protests which began in New York City and have now spread to financial centers in Boston, Washington D.C., Chicago  and Los Angeles? Something tells me that if this were a Tea Party movement, there would be non-stop coverage.

BREAKING NEWS:  In light of the Republican base’s dissatisfaction with their current crop of moonbat-crazy Presidential candidates, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is now the “flavor of the week”. Who is next, Mike Huckabee?

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of governors, has anybody noticed that a second one has called for a universal health care care plan in his state? Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer announced that he will be seeking a waiver to set up a universal health care system in his state modeled after the single payer Canadian system. This follows upon Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin‘s signing into law a plan for his state to begin the process of adopting such a plan. Hopefully, this signals that momentum is growing for a national single payer plan.

BREAKING NEWS:  As long as we are on the subject of governors, we might as well mention the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. Sarah Palin put the world on notice early last summer that she would make an announcement regarding whether she would seek the Presidency by September. It is now October 2nd and still no word. Looks like Sarah Palin is continuing her string of lies.

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Fins song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UruXWui1EG8

Note: a fib is a lie

FIBS

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Fins”)

She came down from Mat-Su Valley
She signed some books while on her plane
Hoping to incite a riot
Sarah Palin sure loves her fame

The Mama Grizzly is in motion
And all she does is snarl and bark
This re-al-it-y TV star
Lies through morning, noon and dark

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And soon you’ll be going down

She’s saving up all of her money
Wants to head down south in May
Maybe hold out her hand to her Tea-Bagging fans
Way down Arizona way

TV money was good this season
Now it’s time to go “reload”
Endless supply of big whopping lies
“Death Panels” paved her road with gold

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown

(Fox News break)

Intellect that’s meager
Sarah Palin is just a dolt
She’s been on a learning diet
And that’s a Lynnrockets’ quote

She has a box just like Pandora
She spews evil cross the land
Just behind the reek from here big white teeth
She forms lies universally panned

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
She’s a scheming, lying clown
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And Sarah Palin’s going down