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Sarah Palin Has Dirty Oil On Her Hands But Not On Her Conscience

Silence is golden. If only we could get a little of that from Sarah Palin. You would think that the educationally challenged former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska would realize that in light of the recent Gulf Coast oil rig disaster, now is not the time to extol the benefits of more off-shore oil drilling. Then again, you would also think that an interview blowing, turkey head grinding, “death panel” lying, crib note relying, logic defying, Tea-Bagger buying, spotlight eyeing narcissist would not be capable of maintaining the interest of the “lamestream” media. Ah, but such is apparently not the case.

Last Friday Palin took to her Facebook page to “pipe-in” on the recent disaster while demanding more drilling immediately and without any preliminary study on the feasibility of making the practice more safe not only for the environment but for the men and women that work on those rigs. Remember, eleven people lost their lives as the result of corporate malfeasance. Palin said,

Alaskans understand the tragedy of an oil spill, and we’ve taken steps to do all we can to prevent another Exxon tragedy, but we are still pro-development.
[…]
I repeat the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard for the tragic consequences of oil spills – my family and my state and I know firsthand those consequences.

Wait a minute. If she repeats the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard, then what is her reasoning? Sarah would you please expound on that a little? We await your incomprehensible response with baited breath.

Oh, yippee! She spoke again on Saturday in Missouri before a bunch of Republicans. Inasmuch as Missouri is the “Show Me” state, we are sure that Ms. Quittypants would feel compelled to show the audience some facts to support what she is talking about, right?

Not so fast. Palin deemed the oil spill to be “very tragic”, but she then told her audience,… ready for this? “I want our country to be able to trust the oil industry”. Trust the oil industry? Perhaps we should trust Halliburton, Blackwater and Goldman Sachs too. Did the Exxon-Valdez disaster in her own backyard not teach the brain-dead corporate lackey a little something about the type of trust that can placed on oil companies?

Sarah Palin is simply as stupid as stupid comes.

EXTRA

Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their thrilling Game 2 victory over the Philadelphia Flyers last night by a score of 3-2. The Bruins now lead the series 2 games to none with the series shifting to Philadelphia tomorrow for the next two games, ‘Here we go, Bruins, here we go!”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Life In The Fast Lane song link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3sg5y_the-eagles-life-in-the-fast-lane-he_music

PIPE IN THE GASOLINE

(sung to the Eagles song “Life In The Fast Lane”)

Todd was a school dropout man, he was brain dead and then some
And Sarah was not really witty
They both hooked up and thought they looked so handsome
In the heart of Wasilla city
She had a nasty reputation and he was “First Dude”
The Palins were ruthless when it came to crude
They had one thing in common
With old Uncle Jed
She said, “Drill Baby Drill”
Till Mother Nature’s dead

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline

Are you with me so far?

The plan needed action, so said the dame
A bigger attraction than old John McCain
She called on Joe The Plumber
But she needed more pull
So she called on Joe Sixpack
Did the lipsticked pitbull
Those pipe-lines on the landscape, could seal her fate
So long as she had her cronies spreading politics of hate
The Palin fan base is not very bright
They are all old, straight and male and all of them are white, don’t doubt it

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

(musical interlude)

Drilling and boring, blinded by thirst
She couldn’t handle Gibson
Katie Couric was worse
She said, listen people, don’t you know I’m “mavericky”?
I can see Russia from my house, even Tina Fey agrees
Mac said, call Rush Limbaugh, I think we’re gonna crash
The polls are heading downward and we need some instant cash
They were lookin’ for some leeway
The election was lost
She didn’t care there was oil ‘neath that permafrost, so it was

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline

I Got Nothin’

Ever have one of those days when you find that you are simply unprepared for the day’s events? You know, forgot your homework; didn’t study enough for the big test; ill prepared for the work presentation (or in my case, court hearing); forgot clean underwear and had that car accident your parents warned you about? Well, I’m having one of those days today. Consequently, there will be none of the usual incisive, comprehensively researched, yet fun Republican bashing this morning.

Over the weekend we had a number of family events to attend. Additionally, although trivial in comparison to the Gulf oil spill or the deadly storms in the South-East, we had a massive water main break in Boston this weekend which has left numerous cities and towns either boiling water or getting sick. I’m OK, the dog got sick. Oops, my bad! Finally, as the result of Noah-like flooding in Boston in March, both the IRS and the state Dept. of Revenue were kind enough to grant Bostonians an extension for tax filing until May 11th. Unfortunately, I took advantage of the extension and now I must attend to those taxes. Hey Tea-Baggers, please keep in mind that I am not complaining about the amount of taxes that I will pay, but only the process of preparing the returns.

So, here I sit this morning at my desk gathering paperwork and drinking a nice cold refreshing glass of water… Oh, No. Well, I’m off to the bathroom. I hope to have a more on topic post later. In the meantime, please enjoy a simple upbeat television theme song parody about Sarah Palin.

Almost forgot. Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their game one overtime victory over the Philadelphia Flyers on Saturday afternoon. Game two is tonight at 7:00 p.m. EST.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Laverne and Shirley theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZmimJGmrUQ

PITBULL AND FIRST DUDE

(sung to the TV theme song “Laverne and Shirley”)

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
She heels, she grovels, Exxon Oil Incorporated
She went and blew it

Any foolish chance, she’ll take it
Give her any rule, she’ll break it
If you’re not on her team, screw you
Her way or no way

She’s a political hack now
Just like her pal, Johnny Mac now
And Russia’s always within view
“Drill Baby Drill”  Yay!

When she’s talking it’s a lie
Won’t admit that oil’s exhaustible
Palin once rode the short bus
And we all knew it

Dresses like a curbside ho’ now
Daughter Bristol can’t say “no” now
She’s Joe the Plumber’s dream come true
And she wants it her way, not our way
Take it or just screw you
And she wants it her way, not our way

Makin’ her dreams come true

Screw me and you

Sarah Palin: Likely To Quit Again

The former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin may be quitting again. Palin quit her job as Governor after only half a term and she has been a no-show at many speaking engagements both before and after, including the CPAC Conference in DC.  She also recently quit the Republican National Committee after it sponsored a soiree at a lesbian/bondage strip club. Now, New York Magazine reports that the Queen of Quit may be abandoning her quest for the Presidency.

The reason? Simple. Sarah Palin cares most about money. The article suggests that she quit the governorship because “she was going broke”. She needed money and worried about it constantly. “You have to keep in mind,” Bill McAllister, her then–press secretary, told the magazine, “she and Todd were middle class. They’re rich now, but not then.” Indeed, even a John McCain adviser said, “Deep down, she wanted to make money.”

In fact, the magazine says that the single greatest influence on her quitting the governorship was that Alaska’s ethics rules might have prohibited her from profiting from a book tour or a political action committee or legal defense fund.

In March, she petitioned the Alaska attorney general’s office, which responded with a lengthy list of conditions. “There was no way she could go on a book tour while being governor” is how one member of her Alaska staff put it.

Hence, she quickly quit the governorship and quit on the people of Alaska that elected her.

Sarah Palin elected to pursue money and fame at the expense of her supporters and her stated ideals. She claims to represent the “everyman”, the “Sixpack Joes” and the “hockey moms”. Simultaneously however, she charges those very supporters exorbitant fees to see her or have a photo taken with her. Unlike the working class, she travels in Lear Jets at a cost of some $ 1,500.00 per hour and is building a new 6000 square foot manse. It is estimated that she has made some 12 million dollars since quitting last July. Indeed, Sarah Palin better resembles Richie Rich than Joe The Plumber.

The magazine article states that in 1996, a few weeks into her run for Wasilla mayor, Palin revealed to Laura Chase, her campaign manager at the time, the scope of her ambition. “We were sitting at my table one night and I said, ‘Sarah, one day you could be governor.’ She just looked at me and said, ‘I don’t want to be governor, I want to be president.’ ” Strangely, it is Sarah Palin’s quest for fame and fortune that will most likely dissuade her from seeking the presidency. Palin plans on selling another book and she continues to charge $ 100,000.00 per speaking engagement. At some point, the Tea-Baggers that idolize her will realize by witnessing her lavish lifestyle, that she is not one of them. They will recognize her as being a member of the celebrity class that they so despise. Consequently, their support for her will wane. Additionally, she has already alienated the more mainstream members of the Republican Party. New York Magazine writes,

While careful not to say anything that might make her rear her head, some in the GOP Establishment whisper that they hope Palin stays in Wasilla. She may be useful in raising funds and drawing crowds, but Palin’s unseriousness and carnival antics damage the brand. “There’s a big piece of the Republican Party that doesn’t want her to run,” said one national Republican strategist.

So, as Sarah Palin begins to amass tremendous wealth, she is losing support from her base. Palin however, loves the money and fame too much to abandon it for such a pedestrian and low paying position as the President of the United States. Sarah Palin is too selfish to ever accept the paycut. She will not run for President in 2012. In short, it’s all over now.

EXTRA

As mentioned yesterday, we had the opportunity to attend the Salem State College (Salem, MA) Speaker Series last evening featuring Ted Kennedy, Jr. as well as a private reception thereafter. Mr. Kennedy did not disappoint. As we all witnessed at his father’s funeral, young Kennedy has inherited his family’s style of oration. He spoke mostly about his work as an attorney for the disabled but he also dabbled on the subjects of health care reform and on things he learned about his family upon reading his father’s memoir, True Compass.

One such revelation from the book was his grandmother, Rose Kennedy’s involvement in the Cuban Missile Crisis. Kennedy explained that she had a fondness for obtaining books authored and personally autographed by world leaders which she would dole out at as Christmas presents each year. At the height of the missile crisis in which nuclear war threatened to wipe out civilization as we know it, the KGB intercepted a handwritten letter from a Mrs. Rose Kennedy of Hyannisport, MA in which she requested a few autographed copies of Premier Nikita Khrushchev’s most recent book. The KGB apparently could not figure out what plan the CIA was up to or what they wanted and so they inquired. When Jack Kennedy got the news, he asked his mother what she was up to. Rose simply explained that Jack should know that she gifts out autographed books from world leaders each Christmas, and this year it was Khrushchev’s turn!

Inasmuch as his speech was being delivered in Salem, MA, Kennedy felt that he should mention that on his mother’s side, he was a descendant of one Mary Eastey who in 1692 was hanged in the city (along with many others) for the crime of being a witch. He thanked the present residents for being much more kind to him.

Most importantly however, when asked about newly elected nudist Republican US Senator Scott Brown, Kennedy kindly stated that he wished him luck but that he will be judged by constituents according to how he votes. He hinted that thus far the votes were not in conformity with the views of most Massachusetts citizens but inasmuch as Brown is up for re-election in 2012, there is time for somebody to announce their candidacy in the not too distant future. When a few members of the audience shouted out, “What about you, Ted”, he politely smiled and moved on to the next subject. Kennedy clearly left the door open for a run for his father’s old seat without providing any negative comment about Brown which could prematurely be used as ammunition against him. He showed the skill of a true politician. We certainly hope he runs for that seat.

Kennedy Jr. concluded by taking a number of unscreened questions from members of the audience. He handled them deftly without resort to palm written crib notes.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Sarah Palin song parody.

It’s All Over Now song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbpU5vBYnfU&feature=related

IT’S ALL OVER NOW

(sung to the Rolling Stones version of the song “It’s All Over Now”)

Well, Palin was around way too long
She winked those eyes, went to Hong Kong
But her heart’s now broken, that’s no lie
Tables turn and now it’s her turn to cry

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Well, she thought that she’d be crowned a queen in D.C. Town
She’d spend book deal money to buy herself some fame
She has no clout, that must be a blow to her pride
Tables turn and now it’s Sarah who cries

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

(musical interlude)

Well, on Meet The Press Sunday morning, did you hear what they said?
“Palin’s political future is all but dead”
Brooks, Dionne and Murphy really smacked Palin down
Now the whole world knows that she is just a clown

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Sarah Palin, Please Come To Boston

Of all the things “Banned in Boston” during its long history such as James Joyce’s Ulysses, H.L. Mencken’s The American Mercury, Lillian Smith’s Strange Fruit and William S. Burrough’s Naked Lunch, how is it that Sarah Palin and the Tea-Baggers will be allowed to hold an event here this April? It is true. The Boston Globe reports that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska will be attending a Tea Party rally in the Democratic stronghold on April 14th. The group sponsoring the event, Tea Party Express has indicated that it hopes that newly elected Republican nudist Senator Scott Brown will also attend. No venue has been announced but rumor has it that the event will take place in a phone booth located on the corner of Park and Tremont Streets.

Of the event, Sarah Palin only had this to say,

In April, I’ll be in Boston for a Tea Party gathering there. Across the country, tea-partiers will be sharing our vision for America’s future, a vision that promotes common sense solutions to out-of-control spending and an out-of-touch political establishment.

Mark Williams, a spokesman for the Tea Party Express group, said the group had no qualms about staging an event in one of the nation’s most liberal states. He said,

It’s a working stiff state that’s neither blue nor red

Apparently, Mr. Williams is as uneducated as Sarah Palin. Otherwise he would have known that far from being a “working stiff” state, Massachusetts ranks number one in the nation with 37.9 percent of its population having at least a bachelor’s degree. It also ranks third in the nation in personal per capita income and only forty-first in the number of people living below the poverty line. Additionally, it ranks first in the nation in the category of number of doctors per 100,000 people. Furthermore, Moody’sEconomy.com reports that the Massachusetts economy emerged from recession last January, well ahead of the rest of the nation. Williams also seems to minimize the fact that of its fourteen elected federal representatives (including the two senators), only Brown is a Republican. The percentage of Massachusetts’ Democratic state representatives and senators exceeds ninety percent. Consequently, would somebody please inform Mr. Williams that Massachusetts is a professional class state that is as deep blue as it could get.

The local media is sure to have a blast when it televises all those Tea-Baggers’ misspelled signs and when it reports upon how Sarah Palin butchered the English language during her xenophobic speech. The event is likely to be remembered as “The Boston Massacre Two”. Finally, somebody should remind Palin and the Tea-Baggers that Bostonians don’t take kindly to people misusing the term “Tea Party” in the home of the original Boston Tea Party.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Please Come To Boston song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBpTedlEFsY

PLEASE COME TO BOSTON

(sung to the Dave Loggins song “Please Come To Boston”)

Please come to Boston late this spring time
Bring all your Tea-Bagger friends
To spread your doom and gloom
Holding misspelled banners on the sidewalk
Sarah Palin will fly in on her witch’s broom
Please come to Boston
For the show
It’s a Tea Party

And we’ll say, “Hey, Tea-Baggers,
Why don’t you settle down?
Boston ain’t your kind of town.
You’re being told that
We all despise Sarah P.
She won’t find many fans
Where we held the first Tea Party

Please come to Boston for a big brawl
Your heads shoved up in your asses so far
That they can’t be found.
Sarah Palin will bring the flames for fannin’
But Beantowners will bury her and not in hallowed ground.
Please come to Boston
Face your foes
In the city by the sea

And we’ll say, “Tea-Bagging boys,
Put your tea kettles down
Boston ain’t your kind of town.
You’re being told that
We all despise Sarah P.
She won’t find many fans
Where we held the real Tea Party

Now, Palin’s voice is a piercing sound
And no doubt, it’s never gonna stop
But ol’ Boston is a college town
With brains that she ain’t got
That goes for Van Flein too,
Her lawyer that she clings to.

Please come to Boston but not forever
Palin will provide a nice comedic fill
When her speech is finished we’ll throw her in the ocean
She’ll “go with the flow” like last July
She’ll look like an oil spill
Please come to Boston
Bring Plumber Joe
You can stay with Mitt Romney

And she said, Hey, Romney boy,
Why don’t you settle down?
Boston sure ain’t my kind of town
They don’t like fools so
They won’t like no-one like me.
No, no I am sure to be banned
In that city by the sea.
I am sure to be banned
In that city by the sea.”

Rush “To Judgment” Limbaugh and the Idiot Brigade

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has not commented too frequently of late on the antics of the obese and drug addled Rush Limbaugh. This however, seems to be the perfect occasion to reacquaint ourselves with Limbaugh and his “Excrement In Broadcasting” program.

Limbaugh, as you may know, is the radio personality that flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. As we all know, however, a lack of education has never been an impediment to advancement within right wing conservative circles. Limbaugh’s educational pedigree measures up well with those of Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Joe the Plumber (we have not yet been able to determine the educational background of Joe Sixpack).

He also likes to ruminate on morality and family values. And if anyone knows a lot about families through sheer personal experience, it’s Limbaugh. He has been married three times. As for morality, he used to enjoy spouting off about the necessity of drug offenders receiving stiff jail sentences. That all changed, however, in 2006 when he surrendered to Palm Beach County (Florida) officials on charges of doctor shopping as the result of his own drug addiction to oxycodone and hydrocodone. He did everything within his power to avoid just such a sentence. Speaking of stiff sentences, let’s not forget that in June of 2006 he was detained by drug enforcement officials at Palm Beach International Airport when he attempted to bring a bottle of Viagra (the prescription was in somebody else’s name, by the way) into the country.

Limbaugh’s latest misguided, non-sensicle on-air tirade was directed at guess who? You got it, President Barack Obama. Remember last month when the druggie criticized Obama for taking too long (mind you, it was only 3 days) to make a statement regarding the Underwear Bomber? Well, this week he has taken the opposite tact. He is now criticizing the President for speaking out too soon on the Haiti disaster. He said,

I want you to remember it took him three days, three days to respond to the Christmas day fruit of kaboom bomber. Three days and when he came out after those three days he was clearly irritated that he had to do it. He didn’t want to do it. He comes out here in less than twenty-four hours to speak about Haiti. (cut to sound clip pf president). This is what he lives for. He lives for serving those in misery… I don’t have the whole press conference but I wonder did he apologize for America before acknowledging we are the only people on earth that can possibly help them out down there. In any significant way.

Limbaugh is in dire need of psychological help. Does he have no sense of perspective? Does he not realize that although it was a dangerous and significant event, the attempted Christmas day bombing was luckily thwarted with no loss of life, while the Haiti earthquake killed thousands and has left millions clinging to life? Furthermore, where did he get the egocentric idea that the United States is the only country on earth that can possibly help them out?

Perhaps Roger Ebert said it best in his open letter to Limbaugh which was published on his website Rogerebert.com. Here it is:

To: Rush Limbaugh
From: Roger Ebert

You should be horse-whipped for the insult you have paid to the highest office of our nation.

Having followed President Obama’s suggestion and donated money to the Red Cross for relief in Haiti, I was offended to hear you suggest the President might be a thief capable of stealing money intended for the earthquake victims.

Here is a transcript from your program on Thursday:

Justin of Raleigh, North Carolina: “Why does Obama say if you want to donate some money, you could go to whitehouse.gov to direct you how to do so? If I wanted to donate to the Red Cross, why do I have to go to the White House page to donate?”

Limbaugh: “Exactly. Would you trust the money’s gonna go to Haiti?”

Justin: “No.”

Rush: “But would you trust that your name’s gonna end up on a mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes?”

Justin: “Absolutely!”

Limbaugh: “Absolutely!”

That’s what was said.

Unlike you and Justin of Raleigh, I went to Obama’s web site, and discovered the link there leads directly to the Red Cross. I can think of a reason why anyone might want to go via the White House. That way they can be absolutely sure they’re clicking on the Red Cross and not a fake site set up to exploit the tragedy.

But let me be sure I have this right. You and Justin agree that Obama might steal money intended for the Red Cross to help the wretched of Haiti.

This conversation came 48 hours after many of us had seen pitiful sights from Port au Prince. Tens of thousands are believed still alive beneath the rubble. You twisted their suffering into an opportunity to demean the character of the President of the United States.

This cannot have been an accident. A day earlier, in a sound bite from your show, you said “this will play right into Obama’s hands. He’s humanitarian, compassionate. They’ll use this to burnish their, shall we say, ‘credibility’ with the black community — in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It’s made-to-order for them.”

Setting aside your riff on Harry Reid, consider what you imply. Obama will aid Haiti to please African-Americans. Haiti has lost untold thousands of lives. One third of the population has lost its homes. Countless people are still buried in the rubble. Every American president would act quickly to help our neighbor. You are so cynical and heartless as to explain Obama’s action in a way that unpleasantly suggests how your mind works.

You have a sizable listening audience. You apparently know how to please them. Anybody given a $400 million contract must know what he is doing.

That’s what offends me. You know exactly what you’re doing.

This is a perfect example of how Limbaugh and the rest of the right-wing idiot brigade will say anything to discredit Barack Obama no matter how commendable his actions may be. And they sound stupid while doing it.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE AND PLEA FOR HELP !!!

As many of you know, this Tuesday January 19th is the date of the special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate Seat. There has not been a Republican elected to a Massachusetts seat since 1972, but the G.O.P. has gone “All In” on this race and it is presently a toss up. The Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley (currently the Massachusetts Attorney General) is clinging to a razor thin lead in the polls but the momentum has swung to the Republican. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this race. Health care reform hangs in the balance. If Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation. Let me repeat, if Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has never asked any of you fellow Rocketeers to make a financial donation of any kind to any cause in the past and we hope that we will never feel the need to do so again. That being said, we are begging you to make a contribution (no matter how small it may be or what state you might be from) to the Martha Coakley campaign immediately. The well funded Republican national interest groups are flooding the  Brown campaign with contributions to get out the vote. We owe it to our nation to match their efforts. Please, please, please, please make a contribution today to:

Martha Coakley

Democrat For U.S. Senate

Marthacoakley.com

We thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation,

Lynnrockets

Finally, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to wish everyone a Happy Martin Luther King Day! Please do something nice for someone today.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Puff The Magic Dragon song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wik2uc69WbU&feature=related

RUSH THE TRAGIC MAGGOT

(sung to the Peter, Paul and Mary song “Puff The Magic Dragon”)

Rush the tragic maggot lives by the sea
Was born in 1951 in a state called Missouri
Limbaugh’s education went down in a flush
He made it two semesters and his family kept it hush, oh

Rush the tragic maggot had an injury
It was a pilonidal cyst in a place he could not see
Rush the magic maggot petitioned his country
Then they deemed him too unfit for the military

Therefore he did not travel off to the Ho Chi Minh Trail
Limbaugh the rabid chickenhawk was deemed to be too frail
So he became a disc jockey and pursued his fame
Alas he was a failure as his music taste was lame, oh

Rush the tragic maggot found ABC
And began his talk radio stint shilling for the G.O.P.
Rush the tragic maggot tried football on Monday
But when he showed his racist trait they canned his ass hastily

The maggot talks forever and his voice sure annoys
Calls his listeners “ditto heads” while he’s making noise
Rush thinks that he matters and is gen’rally adored
Poor Rush does not realize he’s like a mouse that roars

The mike that he speaks into bigger, than his brain
His brain-dead thoughtless audience is his gravy train
“Operation Chaos” failed in a big way
Despite all Rush’s efforts the Dems won running away, oh

Rush the tragic maggot lives happily
He doctor shops his days away and frequents pharmacies
Rush the tragic maggot loves his Oxy-C
And when he’s feeling a bit down, there’s the blue pill known as “V”

Walking In A Palin Wonderland

The Twelve (OK, Seventeen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

We have two short but noteworthy comments to make today. The first is that the Republican Party has once again sunk to the deepest of Hell’s depths on this Holy week. Prior to the Senate’s vote on Monday to advance its version of the health care reform bill, Oklahoma’s Republican Senator (and gynecologist) Tom Coburn asked the American people to pray that someone would die. Here are his exact words,

What the American people ought to pray is that somebody can’t make the vote tonight. That’s what they ought to pray

This type of hypocricy is typical for the Republicans. Here they are calling themselves the “pro-life” party while at the same time asking people to request that God kill somebody merely to prevent them from casting a vote in the Senate. The comment is particularly damning of Coburn, who as a physician, has taken a solemn oath to preserve lives. If God were to pay any attention to that monster, not only would at least one Senator lose his life but so would many of those presently uninsured sick persons who’s lives will be saved by health care reform. Merry Christmas to you too, Mr. Coburn.

Our second item of interest involves our favorite blog subject, Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska wrote in her ghostwritten memoir, Going Rogue:

In that first year, I was alerted to threats against Willow by students at her Juneau school, one particularly disturbing. Someone posted a note on an Internet site threatening to gang-rape her at school. I never felt safe for her after that. Later, the same thing happened to Bristol.

That was obviously an indefensible act of violence proposed against two of the governor’s daughters. Palin had every reason to fear for her daughters’ safety and to remove them from their schools if she found the threats to be credible. She also had an obligation to report the threats to the school administration and to local law enforcement agencies, if not to protect her own daughters, then to protect and warn the other students that remained in those schools. Problem is however, it does not appear that Sarah Palin reported the threats to anyone.

The JuneauEmpire.com reports that former Juneau School District Superintendent Peggy Cowan was superintendent during the period in question and said she never heard of such concerns. They also report that Juneau Police Chief Greg Browning similarly said his department has no record of ever being alerted to such threats. Finally, it was also reported that  the Alaska State Troopers provide a security detail for Palin, but trooper spokeswoman Megan Peters said the first they heard about the allegation was from Palin’s book.

This raises the question, just what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? Did these threatened gang rapes ever really happen? If so, why did Palin fail to report such a serious situation to any of the proper authorities? If she failed to report the threats in an attempt to protect her daughters’ privacy, then why did she reveal the whole situation in her best selling book? Can anything that Sarah Palin says be believed?

Lastly, as any and all of you self-respecting Seinfeld fans out there already know, today is the holiday of FESTIVUS. You know, “Festivus for the rest of us”. So, without further adieu, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to wish all of you fellow Rockateers a Merry Festivus!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s holiday song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold a book and made a lot of dough, man
It had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)-Christmas Edition 2

The Twelve (OK, Fourteen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

Just a few comment-worthy news stories that have made their way around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin has predictably decided to respond to the media reports and photos of her donning a John McCain emblazoned visor on which she crossed out the name “McCain” with a black magic marker. Palin told Politico.com that she was merely trying to be incognito while on vacation in Hawaii. She went on to say,

I am so sorry if people took this silly incident the wrong way, I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago. So much for trying to be incognito.

The question remains however, that if she was trying to remain incognito, wouldn’t it have been much easier to simply wear a different hat. Surely she could have purchased a nondescript visor at the thousands of beach gear shops in Hawaii. Also, if she was truly trying to remain incognito, then why did she wear a tee-shirt that said, “If You Don’t Like America Then Get The Hell Out”? Then again, maybe the tee-shirt was intended for Todd “The First Dude” Palin inasmuch as he was a member of the secessionist minded Alaskan Independence Party. Our guess with regard to “HatGate” is that Palin purposely defaced the visor to payback McCain for saying that she is “irrelevant” last week.

THIS JUST IN: Uber-right-wing pundit and anchor baby Michelle Malkin reported last week that Democratic Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska was  being threatened by Senate Democrats with “closure of an air force base,” presumably Offutt Air Force Base, which is south of Omaha and home of U.S. Strategic Command if Nelson does not get on-board with the party regarding its health care reform bill. Of course as usual, Malkin’s report was baseless. Her story has been denied by all parties involved including Senator Nelson’s office. Nelson spokesman Jake Thompson said both of Malkin’s claims about Nelson are false. He also said,

The rumor is not true.  This misinformation is coming from inside-the-Beltway partisans who only want to derail health care reform.

Additionally, White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer said,

Proving that they will leave no stone unturned in their efforts to undermine health reform, some blogs opposing reform are now trafficking an absurd rumor that Nebraska’s Offutt Air Force Base is being threatened over Senator Ben Nelson’s vote on the Senate reform bill.To be perfectly clear: these rumors are completely baseless and false.

Despite the evidence that the Malkin story was untrue, Glenn Beck nevertheless reiterated the story in its entirety on his Fox News show.

BREAKING NEWS: The website cqpolitics.com reports that moonbat-crazy Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has suffered another defection. The Gula Graham Group, a Republican fundraising and consulting firm, ended their three-year relationship with Bachmann last week, GOP sources with knowledge of the firm’s decision said Wednesday. “I can confirm that the Gula Graham Group no longer works for Congresswoman Bachmann,”  Mike Gula said. “We chose to go in a different direction.” The firm’s departure comes less than two months after Bachmann’s chief of staff, Michelle Marston, left the office. Marston was Bachmann’s third chief of staff in as many years. Meanwhile casting is still underway for the Michele Bachmann bio-pic titled, “One More Flew From The Cuckoo’s Nest.”

THIS JUST IN: In this week’s edition of Something Stupid That Someone From Hollywood Said, we have washed-up and over the hill martial artist Chuck Norris. In Thursday’s edition of World Net Daily, Norris ponders what would have happened if President Obama traveled back in time and convinced the Virgin Mary to abort Jesus Christ. Norris wrote,

Lastly, as we sit on the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary were covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor uninsured teenaged woman were provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind, if only they too would have been as progressive as Washington’s wise men and women!

Yeah, OK Chuck.

BREAKING NEWS: Former Republican House Majority Leader Dick Armey (that name never fails to crack me up) found himself in the news again last week. As most of you know, the Department of Homeland Security issued a report warning that right-wing extremist groups that are “primarily hate-oriented” and “are mainly anti-government” were “likely to grow in strength” following President Obama’s election. Many conservatives misinterpreted the warning and mischaracterized it to mean that all conservatives should be labeled as terrorists. Dick Armey has furthered that misconception. Thinkprogress.org reports that at the “Code Red Rally” on Capitol Hill on December 15th, Armey greeted the crowd by saying, “I’ve never seen so many attractive domestic terrorists in all my life.” By downplaying the actual threat caused by a small minority of activists, Armey and his ilk are contributing to the violence that results therefrom. But really, what should we expect from Armey and his platoon of under-educated Tea-Baggers?

THIS JUST IN: Please do yourselves a favor and click on this political humor site (here) to see the 4o Funniest Protest Signs of 2009!

BREAKING NEWS: Remember last week’s edition of Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) where we posted an entry about the Tea-Baggers’ December 15th Die-In at the nation’s Capitol building? Well, nevermind. Seems there was such sparse attendance that the protest died before the Tea-Baggers could start fake dying.

THIS JUST IN: Kudos to Democratic Senator Al Franken for limiting Independent (Ya, right) Senator Joe LIEberman to his allotted ten minutes of speaking time on the Senate floor last week. Jeers to Republican Senator and failed Presidential nominee John McCain for chastising Franken for the exact same action which McCain himself had taken while he was presiding over debate regarding the Iraq War Authorization in 2002. It is a good thing that McCain was not elected President because he is clearly as forgetful and feeble minded as Ronald Reagan.

Please remember to click on the song link below so as to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s holiday song parody.

Have A Holly Jolly Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGyGNxHtvRk&feature=related

HAVE A SARAH PALIN CHRISTMAS

(sung to the Burl Ives version of “Have A Holly Jolly Christmas”)

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
And go shoot a nice reindeer
Ho, Ho, Ho blood in the snow
Now jump around and cheer

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
Knowing that you’re packing heat
Say hello to “Plumber Joe”
And send Glenn Beck a “tweet”

Hello to “Sixpack Joe”
And there’s Hannity
Somebody’s looking blue
That’s Mike Huckabee

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
Don’t let Todd get near the beer
Dark mascara’s just the thing for Sarah’s Christmas
This year

(Have a Sarah Palin Christmas)
(Spreading hate and lots of fear)

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
Find somebody you can cheat
Say Hello then steal the dough
Of everyone you meet

Ho, Ho she’s sunk so low
Since her last defeat
Nothing she says is true
She’s a lying thief

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
But please do not have it here
Let’s all ask her to stay in Alaska, Christmas
This year



Sarah Palin: A Holiday History

The Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

It is interesting to note how Sarah Palin supporters and detractors seem to exist in two distinct parallel universes. Each group witnesses Palin’s actions and words, is advised of her education and credentials, and views the same media coverage of the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. Yet, the detractors (who live in the universe of factual reality) see a minimally educated, honesty deprived, science denying, religiously intolerant, backstabbing, anti-feminist, incoherent, hate speaking, chickenhawk, job quitting, unemployed social networker. The supporters (who live in the universe of unicorns and myth) see something completely different. They see Sarah Palin as a country loving, tell it like it is, mavericky, God fearing, troop honoring, motherly, Joe Sixpack, one of us, forever victimized, de-facto President of the United States.

A fine example of this difference of opinion regarding Caribou Barbie was aired last week on NPR (National Public Radio) in a segment wherein mothers discussed their impressions of Sarah Palin’s ghostwritten fiction titled, Going Rogue. Thereafter on December 9, 2009, U.S. News and World Reports Letters and Comments section featured a number of entries from a cross-section of listeners of the NPR program. It is astounding to read how completely differently the Palin supporters and detractors view the book. As usual however, the detractors corroborate their negative assessments with facts and logical argument while the supporters refrain from factual argument and instead concentrate on their perceived feelings about Palin’s character, patriotism and victim status. Here are the published letters:

The book is a pretty quick read—interesting when it comes to Sarah’s personal life, but snotty the way she comments about the journalists and the campaign people [“Mothers Discuss Sarah Palin‘s ‘Going Rogue’ on NPR,” usnews.com]. I kept waiting for some kind of “a-ha” moment, where she learned something about herself or why she really decided to follow a certain path, but the book was mostly about how she’s just better than the people she doesn’t like and how they’re just plain jealous or mean or both. She’s vain, petty, and rationalizes a lot. I didn’t care much for her as a politician before the book—too inexperienced, in my opinion, and too reliant on her charm instead of her intelligence. I like her even less now after having read the book. She reminds me of the popular cheerleader in high school who suddenly finds herself a small fish in a big pond when she goes to college and can’t believe she’s not as important or as talented as she always thought she was.

Comment by Katie Van Winkle of ME

I am reading Sarah’s book, and I can’t figure out why so many people hate her. Let’s see, she loves Alaska and America with all her heart. She worked to pay her college tuition and she has always been very hard-working. She has always been frugal. She became a real Christian when she was a young teen. She loves her kids and she chose to have her Down’s syndrome child. She had Democrats, Republicans, and independents on her staff as governor, and she is not rigid and intolerant like Obama’s side claims. She can have civil discussions with people who hold opposing views. The more I read, the more I admire her. I work with people who hate her and can’t talk about her without using abusive language. It makes me sick. The media has spread so many lies about her. I think she’s awesome.

Comment by Susan H. of MN

I listened to the discussion on NPR. I didn’t understand why none of the participants pointed out that Palin presents herself as a bold, no-nonsense, tell-it-like-she-see’s-it regular gal, but she spends a good portion of the book blaming others for her inability to stand up for what she knew to be right during the campaign, from her unsuccessful interviews to the expensive designer clothes. You can’t claim to be feisty and submissively follow orders at the same time. One of the participants said she really thought Palin was a feminist at heart, but how does her unwillingness to take responsibility for her choices or her decision to quit her job as governor help other women to be taken seriously? Finally, I was frustrated to hear one participant say that she really admired and identified with Palin’s view of motherhood. I am a mother and I would never make many of the choices she has made regarding her children: from announcing her young daughter’s pregnancy to the world to parading her special needs toddler around with her on her book signing tour. Perhaps these topics were discussed, but not aired. Ultimately, I came away baffled again, by how Sarah Palin can contradict herself over and over again and still be seen as appealing and honest.

Comment by Pat of MD

Several people have noted that there is a lot of hatred for Palin. They’re right, of course. I don’t know why people feel so strongly about her, and I don’t particularly care. The bottom line is that she has yet to posit a coherent—much less worthwhile—set of policy objectives. Until she does (and I’m not holding my breath), her admirers will continue to admire her for her personal traits and the slogans she throws around so loosely, and her detractors will continue to seize on her more boneheaded statements and construct straw man (straw woman?) arguments accordingly. It doesn’t say much for the state of our political discourse.

Comment by Todd of PA

Lynnrockets’ favorite portion of the above letters appears in the second letter where Susan H. of MN complements Palin because, she “worked to pay her college tuition” and “She has always been frugal.” Since when does working to pay tuition (as most everyone does) somehow qualify a person to be Vice president or God forbid, President of the United States? As for being “frugal”, has Susan not read about the $ 4,000.00 per hour luxury jet or seen the photos of the Palin’s newly constructed Wasilla compound aptly named, “Shangralaska”? There truly are two distinct parallel universes.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

We Three Kings Of The Orient song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOsnNr1-smA

DING-A-LINGS

(Sung to the Christmas song “We Three Kings of the Orient”)

This is a Sarah Palin song
Which explores how things went so wrong
From blood relations through nomination
Her fall  was worse than King Kong’s

Oh, Todd “The First Dude’s”  G. E. D.
Sarah’s unwed pregnancy
Todd’s drunk driving, Sarah’s conniving
Sarah’s safety-school college degree

She was mayor of Wasilla
Todd a part-time oil field driller
Increased teen meth-amphet-amine
Not a community pillar

Oh, the governor she did become
A “Bridge to Nowhere” plans begun
Then, “Thanks But No Thanks” ; budget dough pranks
Double talk from “Hockey Mom”

John McCain needed a V.P.
Someone that was darn ”mavericky”
Up to Alaska, he went to ask her
Now the world knew Sarah P.

Oh, she dazzled all with blinks and winks
Dropping pucks at hockey rinks
Substance was nil; “Drill Ba-by Drill”
These were her campaign hi-jinks

She had sev’ral bad interviews
Charles and Katie had her confused
Mumbling, sighing, nearly crying
This was not fawning Fox News

Oh, Sarah needed her Mo-Jo back
She was killing Johnny Mack
To stop this cancer, she found the answer
“Joe the Plumber” and “Joe Sixpack”

Alas, her plan did not save the day
She was upstaged by Tina Fey
Voter rejection, lost the election
Obama won going away

Oh, Sarah became a door-mat
Returned to her habitat
Someone new in 2-0-1-2
Now she shills for “Arctic Cat”

Sarah Palin Is Bus-ted !!!

Sarah Palin exits jet (oops, we mean bus) with G.I. Joe while Michael Steele holds back the crowd.

The “Sarah Palin Blue-Collar Book-Bombing Bus Tour” has been busted. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska likes to promote the public image that she is a “Joan Sixpack”. She would have the American public believe that she buys her clothes at consignment shops, purchases used cars and clips coupons. All of this is done in a purposely choreographed manner in an attempt to create an “us” versus “them” political atmosphere wherein Palin is one of  “us” (or is it “them”? Now I’m confused.). Anyway, as we all know, you can’t judge a book by its cover. You must examine the prose beneath in order to determine whether you are reading fiction or non-fiction. In the case of Sarah Palin, the truth is that her public persona is pure unadulterated fiction.

Palin has little to nothing in common with her targeted band of supporters other than a lack of education. She lives in a Kennedy-like Hyannisport waterfront compound of separate custom built structures, one of which doubles as an aircraft hangar. She raised her children with the help of a hired nanny. She and her husband, the once and future “First Dude” are unemployed as a matter of choice, not circumstance. She also spends more time traveling the country than she does at her home. This is not the life of the average American that she claims to identify with so well.

And now we learn that Sarah Palin’s cross-country bus tour is also a carefully manufactured facade. Palin announced that she would travel the country by means of motorcoach as a symbolic way to meet and greet her working class supporters in the manner by which many of them travel (i.e. public transportation). Problem is, she seldom rides the bus. In fact, Palin travels from city to city in the lap of luxury by means of a donated private corporate jet. After landing at each destination on her tour, she discreetly boards the bus that is waiting for her at either the airport or her hotel and travels in workmanlike fashion to each booksigning where her supporters are led to believe that the bus was her only means of travel. How cunningly deceptive. Nonetheless, could we expect anything other than trickery from the would be Liar in Chief? Probably not.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bennie And The Jets song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0WCQadt864

SARAH AND HER JET

(sung to the Elton John song “Bennie and the Jets”)

Hey kids, let’s sing this together
Sarah Palin’s brain-dead fans
Are as tasteful as shoe leather
They’re a filthy bunch of pigs that
Should be hosed-down
You’re never gonna wanna be ‘round a
Bigger bunch of clowns

And Sarah flies to them on a private jet –  (ooh)
But they’re so spaced out, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, if those fans only had a clue
She signs books to take their green
She thinks it’s a hoot to rake in their loot
And she still cannot name a magazine (no)
(sa, sa, sa) Sarah and her jet

Her fans left waiting in bad weather
Treated just like pawns
Yet still sticking together
She’s in the sky, stringing all of them along
She leaves them cold and wet out in the streets
That’s where she thinks they belong

She gave up the tour-bus for a private jet –  (ooh)
That bus had no clout, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, the big Leer-Jet’s so wonderful
Fitting for Alaska’s queen
She’s got her mukluk boots, Arctic Cat suit
I saw it pictured in a magazine (ohh ho)
(sa sa sa)Sarah and her jet

(Musical Interlude)

She’s living the high life, on that you can bet –  (ooh)
But she’s so spaced out, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, but palin is so full of bull
Slippery as Vaseline
She thinks that it’s a hoot to aim and shoot
And take her daily dose of Thorazine (ohh ho)
(sa sa sa)Sarah and her jet

Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet (jet) (jet) (jet)
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet.

Sarah Palin: The Fibber On Twitter

Palin arrives by jet, oops we mean bus, in Orlando, FL.

Thanks to our friends over at Palingates (and yes, we are aware of the updated correction), another pack of the former ex-quitting governor’s lies (or purposely misleading statements) has been exposed. Last week that blog revealed that contrary to public opinion and official Palin announcements, Sarah  Palin is not actually on a bus tour to promote sales of her ghost-written memoir. In fact, rather than traveling in a workingman’s motor coach to each of the rural hamlets where she hawks the tome, Sarah prefers the elitist comforts of a privately owned luxury jet. It appears that she takes the jet to the next city on her tour and then discreetly rides the bus only a short distance from either her hotel or the airport to the next book signing event. She is not forthright with regard to her means of travel because she wants her fan base to believe that she is one of them; hardworking and frugal in these recessionary times. She wants them to believe that she lives like them by shopping at second hand stores and by the hands-on raising of her children. This is a calculated deception however, because in reality she and her family wore $ 150,000.00 worth of  clothes that were purchased by means of campaign donations and she pays nannies to raise her children.

Sarah Palin’s deceptions continue by means of her Twitter posts. Once again, the folks at Palingates exposed the deception. On the morning of November 24, 2009, Palin posted the following message on her twitter account:

On bus to Jacksonville, FL book signing. The Southern hospitality around here is unsurpassed – thx for the encouragement!3 book events today

In fact, Palin may have been traveling by bus at that moment, but she certainly did not ride the bus from Birmingham, AL to Jacksonville, FL. The flight log (see below) of her luxury jet reveals that she arrived via plane in Jacksonville the previous evening (November 23, 2009) at 10:09 pm. Palin supporters might be tempted to say that although the plane was in Jacksonville, there is no evidence that Palin was on the plane. Problem is, the plane seems to arrive at and depart from Palin’s book signing event locations on the very day that Palin arrives and departs from those locales. Notice the arrivals and departures from Rochester, NY, Fayetteville, NC, Birmingham, AL, Jacksonville, FL, Orlando, FL and Tri-Cities, WA. That would be quite a coincidence if Palin were not on board.

Great work Palingates!

Today’s song parody is based upon Sarah Palin’s high flying lies about her means of travel. Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Leaving On A Jet Plane song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4hsC0nRvZM

FLYIN’ ON A JET PLANE

(sung to the John Denver song “Leaving On A Jet Plane”)

All her bags are packed, she’ll “go with the flow”
Dressed like a flight attendant ‘ho
To raise some cash Palin takes to the sky
The “First Dude” must stay home, he’s so forlorn
Stapleton’s waiting, she’s blowing her horn
To hell with that bus, Sarah wants to fly

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Giddy that they pay her fee
She’s more famous now than Plumber Joe
She’s flyin’ on a jet plane
She’ll never ride that old bus again
She’s raking in the dough

From Fayetteville her plane leaves the ground
In Birmingham it touches down
Sarah Palin sits next to the wing
She meets her fans and signs some books too
Then back on the jet with the nice view
Sarah Palin is living like a king

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
All her fans have paid her fee
She is headed now for Jacksonville
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Her fans left standing out in the rain
They hate to see her go

In Orlando she tells the crew
We now must fly someplace new
Send that decoy bus upon its way
She knows that her fans are dumb
But her plane travel must stay mum
Or they might stop donating their pay

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Happy that they paid her fee
Thinking of the ways she’ll spend her dough
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Profiting from their lack of brains
She smiles at them below

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Happy that they paid her fee
Thinking of the ways she’ll spend her dough
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Profiting from their lack of brains
She smiles at them below.