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Sarah Palin And The Paperback Writer

"Say it ain't so, Joe."

We just cannot let this Sarah Palin/Joe McGinniss feud fade away without another post on the subject. In fact, this potential Hatfield/McCoy standoff is likely to provide enough juicy material for many more posts (not to mention a Saturday Night Live skit or two). What could be better than an investigative journalist actually living right next door to the subject of his next book?

By the way, what’s up with Sarah Palin’s sick obsession with the sexual violation of her daughters? First we learned on the campaign trail that unwed teen daughter Bristol was pregnant despite all that “abstinence only” training she received from her formerly unwed pregnant mother. Next, Palin accused David Letterman of soliciting the statutory rape of daughter, Willow. Then we learned from reading her ghostwritten memoir, that both daughters Willow and Bristol were threatened with gang rape from schoolmates,

In that first year, I was alerted to threats against Willow by students at her Juneau school, one particularly disturbing. Someone posted a note on an Internet site threatening to gang-rape her at school. I never felt safe for her after that. Later, the same thing happened to Bristol.

Of course “Mama Bear” never reported the alleged threats to school officials or law enforcement at the time. Now we have Palin alleging that writer Joe McGinniss is some sort of perverted peeping tom. In a recent Facebook entry, Palin wrote,

Wonder what kind of material he’ll gather while overlooking Piper’s bedroom…

It is clear that Sarah Palin has some weird sexual hangups involving minors.

Greater Wasilla (Alaska) better get ready for a long hot summer with plenty of fireworks on display in and around the Palin/McGinniss compound. We can imagine screaming tantrums from Palin, mocking waves from McGinniss and the Wasilla police setting up a temporary station on their street. Will the Palins’ spite fence grow taller and taller? The new neighbors’ backyards will be filled with cold stares, hot glares and sneak peeks. All in all though, what did Palin expect? She cozied up to Joe Sixpack and Joe The Plumber, so how could Joe The Writer be expected to know that he would be unwelcome in Palinland?

Palin's spite fence.

Let’s all hope for a summer full of comedic altercations. In the meantime please enjoy this re-working of a previous re-working of the Beatles’ song “Paperback Writer”.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER II

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Todd and Sarah, will you read my book?
It took me months to write while I had a look
All of those things that I could see and hear
I put them in my book and I’m gonna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Its a dirty story of a dirty clan
Led by Sarah Palin and her “First Dude” man
I learned so much by reading through their mail
They’re a seedy mob but its fun to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s a thousand pages give or take a few,
It has some photos I took from my scenic view.
I must admit the Palins never do smile
They just sulked around in plain site of this paperback writer,
Paperback writer

I loved all the fighting I could hear at night
It wafted through the fence despite its massive height.
You’ll learn all about them so please have no fear,
They will quiver and quake but I’m gonna be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Palin Compound Threatened By One Man Seige

I'll Get You, Joe McGinniss!!!

Batten down the hatches! Shutter the windows! Put chastity belts on the girls and by God, Todd hurry up with that fence! These are just a few of the exclamations that Sarah Palin has been overheard screeching this week. She has also taken to Facebook and the Glenn Beck radio show to cry for support in her efforts to hide from an investigative reporter that has rented the house next door to the Palin compound in Wasilla, Alaska.

Joe McGinniss, the author of a forthcoming Sarah Palin exposé, has actually rented the house right next door to the Palins in an attempt to keep an ever watchful eye on his subjects. Indeed, the owner of the property sought out the author and asked if he would be interested in renting the home. Apparently the property owner had an axe to grind with the Palins as the result of some bills that the Palins failed to pay and what better way to get even than by accommodating the writer that is sure to skewer Palin in print. Revenge surely is a dish best served cold. As Todd “The First Dude” once said, “What goes around comes around”.

In an effort to shield her family from the ever watchful eye of McGinniss, Palin is constructing a ridiculously high spite fence. Not only does the fence impede McGinniss’ sight lines, but it also looks terrible and will probably decrease the value of the Palin property. Enquiring minds however, want to know how McGinniss intends to respond. Will he sit on his roof while writing or maybe install one of those hunting tree stands? Might he purchase a trampoline so that he can get fleeting glimpses over the fence? Will he simply rent a boat so that he can watch the Palins from beautiful Lake Lucille? Stay tuned for the answer. In the meantime let’s all just enjoy the fireworks in Wasilla that are exploding well before Quitting, oops I meant Independence Day.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with tonight’s topical song parody.

You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz7IjXu0DfQ

WE’VE GOT TO HIDE OUR HOUSE AWAY

(sung to the Beatles song “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”)

Here I stand pen in hand
Boy, that fence is real tall
View is gone but I’ll go on
Writing is a ball

Sarah glares, momma bear
Each and every day
I can see they’re scared of me
Here’s what Palins say:

Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away
Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away

My oh my, ten feet high
But they’ll never win
Hearing them, seeing them
Sarah and her kin

How could she say to me
Joey stay away
Now I’m bound to hang ‘round
Each and every day

Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away
Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away