Blog Archives

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 71

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Lynnrockets was glad to hear that somebody else agrees that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R) is like a caricature of some sort of “Sopranos“-like television politician. Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley (D) criticized Christie’s confrontational and headline-grabbing governing style, calling it a “stand-up routine”. He also accused Christie of being “abusive towards public employees.” Furthermore, he called Christie a hypocrite over his tough budget talk for skipping a $3 billion payment into the state’s pension fund and allowing New Jersey property taxes to increase. Be careful Governor O’Malley because Christie may send “Paulie Walnuts” after you!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Eating Their Own” features Tea-Baggers and conservative Republican Rep. Joe Barton. The Texas Republican is remembered most as being the out-of-order loudmouth who shouted “You lie!” on the House floor as President Obama was explaining that the health care reform law did not cover illegal immigrants. He also dismissed the $20 billion BP victims’ escrow fund as a “shakedown” on the part of the Obama administration. You would think that this whack-job would be a darling of the Tea Party, what with their warped sense of politics. Yet, this week at the Tea Party Patriots sponsored American Policy Summit, Barton was booed by the faithful. Apparently acknowledging public debate over a possible government shutdown, Barton told the audience about the legislative action – called a continuing resolution – recently passed in the House that temporarily funds the government in lieu of an actual budget. The measure would fund the government for the rest of fiscal year 2011, which ends September 30, and cuts $61 billion from current spending levels. The Tea-Bagger response? Wild shouts of “Boo, boo!, More, more!”. The uncouth Barton and the misguided Tea-Baggers deserve each other.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Not Everybody Learns From History” stars Newt Gingrich. In an editorial published today in the Washington Post, the disgraced former Republican House Speaker and serial wife-cheater writes of a possible government shutdown caused by Republicans, “Those who claim that the shutdown was politically disastrous for Republicans ignore the fact that our House seat losses in 1996 were in the single digits.” Someone should remind Gingrich that during the last government shutdown at the end of 1995 – a three-week event that has since been attributed to rocketing President Bill Clinton back into political favor among the electorate after a bruising midterm election defeat for the Democrats in 1994 – Republicans ultimately compromised with a newly-energized Clinton after the public backlash suggested the GOP was taking a huge political hit. The shutdown also precipitated Gingrich’s ultimate embarrassing resignation from Congress. Here’s hoping history repeats itself once again.

THIS JUST IN: GOP operative Roger Stone, who is currently an informal adviser to Donald Trump said this week that Trump is likely to take a page out of other recent billionaire political aspirant’s playbooks and cut himself a check to the tune of $200 million to finance a run for the presidency. In light of the fact that Trump has filed for bankruptcy protection on at least four occasions, it is surprising that he has $200 million. Just what a country with an ailing economy needs, a President who has gone bankrupt multiple times.

BREAKING NEWS: The New York Times reported last week that after Judith Regan was fired by HarperCollins in 2006, she claimed that a senior executive at its parent company, News Corporation, had encouraged her to lie two years earlier to federal investigators who were vetting Bernard B. Kerik for the job of homeland security secretary. The News Corporation executive, whom she did not name, wanted to protect Rudolph Giuliani and conceal Regan’s affair with Kerik, she said. It has now been revealed that the person urging her to lie was none other than Roger E. Ailes, the powerful chairman of Fox News and a longtime friend of Mr. Giuliani. Anyone surprised?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Your Tea Party At Work” features the Montana Tea-Baggers. The AP reports that, “with each new bill they file, newly elected Tea Party lawmakers are offering Montanans a vision of the future. Their state would be a place where officials can ignore U.S. laws, force FBI agents to get a sheriff’s OK before arresting anyone, ban abortions, limit sex education in schools and create armed citizen militias.” How’s that for change you can believe in?

BREAKING NEWS: You may have missed it, but last Wednesday somebody over at Fox News spoke the truth. Host Shepard Smith said that there is no longer a budget crisis in Wisconsin and that the battle in the state is all about politics and union-busting. Specifically he said, “to pretend this is about a fiscal crisis in the state of Wisconsin is malarkey.” What are the chances that Smith is rewarded for his candor by receiving a pink slip this week?

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Wisconsin, Republican Governor Scott Walker attempted to divide the unions by proposing to restrict the collective bargaining rights of some unions but not others. His labor-busting bill will exempt the police and fire unions who endorsed his candidacy. His divide-and-conquer plan has unexpectedly failed. Blogger Ryan Harvey reported, “Hundreds of cops have just marched into the Wisconsin state capitol building to protest the anti-Union bill, to massive applause. They now join up to 600 people who are inside. Police have just announced to the crowds inside the occupied State Capitol of Wisconsin: ‘We have been ordered by the legislature to kick you all out at 4:00 today. But we know what’s right from wrong. We will not be kicking anyone out, in fact, we will be sleeping here with you!”‘. OK Walker, what is Plan B?

BREAKING NEWS: We are still waiting for Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown to either identify the child sex offender that he claims molested him at a summer camp or to admit that he embellished the story to sell books. Despite the fact that law enforcement agencies have requested that Brown identify the sexual deviant, Brown has refused to do so. In the meantime, Brown’s inaction allows a child molester to remain on the loose and free to strike again. This story is not going away.

THIS JUST IN: It would not be a complete weekly news wrap-up without a Sarah Palin story. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver called Sarah Palin a “Froot Loop” for criticising the Obama administration’s healthy eating initiatives, and said getting healthy foods to kids is a civil rights issue. Apparently the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska and failed reality television personality is now being targeted by other reality television stars. You just have to love it!

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of “Froot Loops”, did anyone see Joe Scarborough question Glenn Beck‘s sanity this week? His criticism of the Fox News host was simply scathing. Scarborough said, “This guy is losing it before our eyes. He’s bad for the conservative movement. He’s bad for the Republican Party. He’s bad for Fox News…even guys over at Fox News have to start thinking, this can’t last. He’s out of control.” But as we always say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go to the tape…

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Last Train To Clarksville song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KSHyXGy6XA

LAST TRAIN TO NUTSVILLE

(sung to the Monkees song “Last Train To Clarksville”)

Take the last train to Nutsville
Beck will meet you at the station
You can be there by four-thirty
Cuz Fox made your reservation
The Beck Show, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Glenn lost his mind without warning
And it won’t be back again
Glenn Beck’s facing stormy weather
And it’s causing quite a strain
So, he must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no
He might have a lobotomy on his dome.
Take the last train to Nutsville
Glenn Beck is their famous patient
If he’s not crying he’ll blow some kisses
But don’t attempt conversation
Oh… oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Take the last train to Nutsville
That’s where Glenn Beck now calls home
We can’t hear him making noisy
Conversation all alone
He’s feelin’ low. Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don’t think that Glenn’s ever coming home.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Take the last train to Nutsville
(repeat and fade)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 59

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of right-wing talk radio gone whacko took place in Boston this week. Jay Severin hosts a program which airs on a Boston, MA radio station, known to  progressives as WKKK. Severin, (who changed his name from James Severino a number of years back, presumably to avoid any ethnic stereotyping) is a cowardly conservative host who has embellished his academic credentials and falsely claimed that he was the recipient of a Pulitzer Prize. He is, in essence, a light-weight Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. He was suspended by his station about a year ago as the result of vicious racist comments made against Mexicans. This week Severin also joined the ranks of conspiracy theorists. He claims that the unidentified plume which appeared off the California coast this week was actually a Chinese warning missile aimed at the U.S. because of that nation’s distaste for President Obama. He must have obtained his information from some classified documents provided by Christine O’Donnell.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Best Quote Of The Week” stars MSNBC‘s Keith Olbermann, who said of his campaign contribution suspension, “And then suddenly I’m fundraising for them passively or aggressively and we’re accidentally Fox.” Short, sweet and so true.

BREAKING NEWS: Ya gotta love Democratic Senator Michael Bennett of Colorado who one-upped the Republicans this week. Bennett said that Democrats will revisit health care reform also, too, particularly to ensure affordable premiums. He and the Democrats want to make a “good” law “better”.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Money Not Wisely Spent” co-stars Teapublican losers Sharron “No Alcohol” Angle and Linda “Steroid Queen” McMahon. In the end their losing campaigns led the nation in the category of dollars spent per vote received. Each of them spent $ 97.00 for each of their losing votes. Apparently money cannot buy everything.

BREAKING NEWS: Teapublican nut-job Rand Paul has not even been seated in the Senate yet and he has already started a civil war amongst his supporters which is likely to cost him his seat in the next election. First, he stabbed his Tea-Bagging supporters in the back when he reversed his campaign pledge against voting in favor of earmarks. Paul now says that he will fight for every dollar available to his state of Kentucky. Next, Paul alienated his Republican supporters by advocating reductions in defense spending. Rand Paul, Kentucky’s next one term Senator.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Stating The Obvious” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has predicted that she will face harsh personal criticism in the aftermath of the mid-term elections as pressure continues to build against her probable bid for the 2012 Republican Presidential and Cookie-Baker in Chief nomination.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Representative Joe Barton declared this week that repealing the newly enacted Health Care Reform law is his “Alomo”. Does the Texan realize that we lost the Battle of the Alomo, or has he been reading those revised Texas school text books again?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Who Get It” features moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins of Maine. She told the Kennebec Times that she blames Sarah Palin for costing the GOP Senate seats — and she thinks Palin would rather be a “celebrity commentator” than run for president and govern. Here’s hoping that Collins will soon do the right thing and switch parties?

BREAKING NEWS: In light of all of his admissions about authorizing torture, is it likely that major bookstores will display former President George W. Bush‘s memoir Decision Points in the “True Crime” section?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “How To Lose Your Job On Fox News” features Mort Kondracke. This week, the Fox contributor called Teapublican Rep. Michelle “Moonbat Crazy” Bachmann a “loudmouth”. His days at Fox are now numbered.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Brain Fartin’ Joe Barton and the BPublicans (UPDATE)

Republican Joe Barton, BP's BFF.

As Sarah Palin once said, “Say it ain’t so, Joe”. What’s up with Texas’ Republican Congressman Joe Barton and his unabashed defense of oil industry kingpin BP? The day after President Obama successfully negotiated the creation of a $ 20 Billion escrow fund (paid by BP) to reimburse the losses of those adversely affected by BP’s gulf oil rig spill, Barton disgracefully shunned his own President and his countrymen and sided with the foreign corporate giant. Rather than congratulate the Commander in Chief for safeguarding the economic welfare of the victims of BP’s willful negligence, the Republican had this to say:

I am ashamed of what happened at the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation would be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown – in this case a $20 billion dollar shakedown. I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong, (they are) subject to some sort of political pressure that … amounts to a shakedown. So I apologize.

The White House was quick to react to Barton’s “apology” to BP. Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said,

What is shameful is that Joe Barton seems to have more concern for big corporations that caused this disaster than the fishermen, small business owners and communities whose lives have been devastated by the destruction. Congressman Barton may think that a fund to compensate these Americans is a ‘tragedy’, but most Americans know that the real tragedy is what the men and women of the Gulf Coast are going through right now. Members from both parties should repudiate his comments.

Public opinion was obviously on the side of the White House, so even the G.O.P. leadership was forced to side with the President. Barton was “shaken down” by his superiors and presented with an ultimatum, either publicly apologize or lose his position as the senior Republican on the House Energy and Commerce Committee. Consequently, despite the fact that Barton’s major campaign contributors all hail from the oil industry, he was forced to provide an apology in a written statement. He wrote:

I apologize for using the term ‘shakedown’ with regard to yesterday’s actions at the White House in my opening statement this morning, and I retract my apology to BP. As I told my colleagues yesterday and said again this morning, BP should bear the full financial responsibility for the accident on their lease in the Gulf of Mexico. BP should fully compensate those families and businesses that have been hurt by this accident. BP and the federal government need to stop the leak, clean up the damage, and take whatever steps necessary to prevent a similar accident in the future.

I regret the impact that my statement this morning implied that BP should not pay for the consequences of their decisions and actions in this incident.

What-up with that? Was Barton drunk when he first defended BP? If he truly believes that “BP should bear the full financial responsibility for the accident on their lease in the Gulf of Mexico. BP should fully compensate those families and businesses that have been hurt by this accident. BP and the federal government need to stop the leak, clean up the damage, and take whatever steps necessary to prevent a similar accident in the future”, then why did he call it a “shakedown” in the first place and imply that BP should not held accountable? Was Barton lying then or is he lying now?

We would also like to know if and when the Republican leadership will put the smackdown on other G.O.P. members that have characterized the escrow fund in a fashion similar to Barton’s original statement. For instance, while speaking at the Heritage Foundation, Rep. Michele Bachmann called the escrow fund “extortion.” And Rep. Tom Price said in a statement that President Obama has “no legal authority” to force BP to set aside a damage fund.

Let’s just hope the Democrats are able to remind the American people come the November elections, that the G.O.P. cares more for destructive foreign corporations than they do for their own countrymen.

UPDATE

The DNC (God bless their little hearts) has just circulated an ad which attacks “Say it ain’t so” Joe Barton and the BPublicans. Here it is…

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-9_fDEsv-Q

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter -  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 111 other followers