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Halloween Tricks And A Few Treats – 57

Just a few spooky and newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful Halloween! Have fun and stay safe!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Endorsing Your Opponent” features California’s Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. The illegal alien hiring Whitman stars in her Democratic Party opponent, Jerry Brown’s new campaign ad wherein she tells the world how great things were in California 30 years ago…when Brown was the Governor. Vote for Democrat Jerry Brown on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: Jury selection began this week in former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay‘s money laundering trial. The Republican was indicted in 2005 on charges he illegally sent $190,000 in corporate money through the Republican National Committee to help elect GOP Texas legislative candidates in 2002. It seems quite appropriate that this jerk’s trial will commence during the Halloween season. Let’s hope a lot of skeletons come out of Delay’s deep, dark closet.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Crazy Republicans and the Crazy Things They Say” features West Virginia’s Teapublican candidate for Governor, John Raese. West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin, the state’s Democratic Senate nominee, launched a campaign ad last Monday calling his opponent’s ideas “crazy” and “bad for West Virginia.” The ad compiles video clips of Republican John Raese making a series of seemingly controversial statements, such as, “I’ve already been defeated three times. That’s a pretty good message from West Virginia I think.” And later, “We don’t need the Department of Education.” and “… We need 1,000 laser systems put in the sky, and we need it right now.” John Raese is crazy. Vote for Democrat Joe Manchin on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: Don’t you just love watching Republicans eat their young? The UK Telegraph reported this week that Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove believes that Sarah Palin is unqualified to be President. Rove is quoted as saying, “With all due candour, appearing on your own reality show on the Discovery Channel, I am not certain how that fits in the American calculus of ‘that helps me see you in the Oval Office’,”. He added that the promotional clip for Sarah Palin’s Alaska could be especially detrimental to any political campaign. It features the mother of five in the great outdoors saying: “I would rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office.” It appears that the former half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is becoming somewhat of a lightweight in Republican circles.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Sue ‘Em” features Massachusetts Republican candidate for US Congress Bill Hudak. Democratic Party incumbent John Tierney this week released a blistering campaign ad wherein he cites newspapers that have refereed to Hudak as “toxic” and “a poisonous kook”. In retaliation, Hudak has filed a lawsuit in attempt to have the ads pulled from the airwaves. The lawsuit however, has little to no chance of success because Massachusetts courts have long ruled against prior restraints against publication on First Amendment grounds. A Tierney spokesperson said, “Bill Hudak’s action is without merit or legal precedence. It is an attempt to intimidate speech in the context of a political campaign, and we will respond appropriately in court.” UPDATE:  Case closed. The court ruled against Hudak and he dismissed his lawsuit. Vote for Democrat John Tierney on Tuesday! Here is the hilarious ad:

THIS JUST IN: To all of you Alaska voters that are willing to do anything to prevent Teapublican Joe Miller from being elected to the U.S. Senate, pay close attention. Pinch your noses and write L-I-S-A  M-U-R-K-O-W-S-K-I.

BREAKING NEWS: The next time that someone tries to tell you that the Tea Party is not violent and dangerous inform them of this. The Dallas Morning News reports that Teapublican congressional candidate Stephen Broden stunned his says he would not rule out violent overthrow of the government if elections did not produce a change in leadership. In a rambling exchange during a TV interview, Broden said a violent uprising “is not the first option,” but it is “on the table. We have a constitutional remedy, and the Framers say if that don’t work, revolution.” He added, “The option is on the table. I don’t think that we should remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms.” Vote for Democrat Eddie Bernice Johnson on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: At a gathering in Texas last Tuesday, former President George W. Bush said, “I miss being pampered” in reference to his time in the Oval Office. Think about that for a moment. While this nation suffered from the worst terrorist attack in its history on 9/11/01 and while thousands of soldiers died in his war of choice, he enjoyed the pampering.

BREAKING NEWS: The next time that someone tries to tell you that the Tea Party is not violent and dangerous inform them of this. A Tea Party-backed candidate who allegedly murdered two unarmed Iraqis is seeking a seat in the House of Representatives, The Guardian reports. Thirty-nine-year-old Ilario Pantano, who is running for North Carolina’s 7th congressional district as a Republican, was charged with the premeditated murder of two Iraqi civilians in 2005 while serving as a second lieutenant with the US Marines. Sergeant Daniel Coburn, who was 27 at the time and one of the three soldiers at the incident, recalled wondering “when the lieutenant was going to stop, because it was obvious that they were dead.” “I believed that by firing the number of rounds that I did, I was sending a message,” Pantano told the New York magazine. All charges against Pantano, who was facing a possible death sentence, were later dropped due to insufficient evidence. Vote for Democrat Mike McIntyre on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I’m As Crazy As Christine O”Donnell” features Colorado Teapublican Senate candidate Ken Buck. He says that he “disagree[d] strongly with the concept of separation of church and state,” and that “it was not written into the Constitution.” Buck should be reminded that while the Constitution doesn’t contain the exact words “separation of church and state,” legal scholars and the courts agree it does prohibit the establishment or endorsement of religion. Furthermore, in 1801, Thomas Jefferson wrote that “religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God,” and argued the Constitution required “building a wall of separation between Church & State.” Vote for Democrat Michael Bennet on Tuesday!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link:


(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Jerry Brown Curbs Sarah Palin’s Enthusiasm

Sarah “Plain and Stupid” Palin has been exposed as an uneducated, misinformed fool yet again. This time it is Democratic Party nominee for Governor of California, Jerry Brown that has called out the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska.

In an appearance on, where else but the Fox network, this week, Sarah Palin said that she does not believe that Brown will keep his promise to raise no taxes if elected unless a tax increase is passed by a voter referendum. As support for her contention, Palin simply uttered a number of lies about Brown’s past two terms as California’s Governor. For example, she said that when Brown was Governor, he raised taxes when in fact he cut taxes by $4 billion dollars. Ms. Quittypants also said that Brown spent outside of his state’s means when in fact, he left office leaving a $5 billion dollar rainy day fund. Of course none of the inaccuracies uttered by Palin were in any way challenged by the Fox host. After all, the Fox network never lets facts get in the way of a good story.

Consequently, it was left to Jerry Brown to defend his own record. Boy, oh boy did he do so in humorous fashion by means of an ad which he immediately released. My favorite part of the ad is the background music which is actually the theme song from HBO‘s “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. That music not only accurately captures the essence of the show’s bungling protagonist, Larry David, it also realistically depicts the ridiculousness that is Sarah Palin. Please enjoy watching the ad.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mother’s Little Helper song link:


(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Mother’s Little Helper”)

What a drag it is getting old
Palin’s different today
Todd has locked his wife away
Sarah needs something today to calm her down
Thanks to our new Health Care Bill
She’s entitled to a pill
Though she’s gone quite helter skelter, she’s got Palin’s little helper
She takes four or five a day, helps those voices go away

Sarah’s different today
I just overheard her say
That she thinks the tabloid Globe is just a rag
She says that the rumor’s fake, that she’s really not half baked
And goes running for the shelter of her Palin’s little helper
Before they put her away, she gets on her knees to pray

Doctor please, some more of these
Sarah needs more, don’t lock that door
She’s a hag and she’s getting old

Men just aren’t the same today
She wants Todd to go away
It’s his antics that caused her to just retire
Sarah’s never satisfied and now must pacify her mind
Let’s all watch her sweat and swelter as the white coats try to help her
Is the strait-jacket too tight? Can she still put up a fight?

The C4P’s and G.O.P.’s
Try to ignore, that mean press corps
What a drag she is to behold

Life’s just much too hard today
I heard Sarah Palin say
That she thinks that Tina Fey is just a whore
She just wants to stand and pose in her brand new store bought clothes
Now she’s gone quite helter skelter is there anyone can help her?
Or will she stay locked away, straight on through her dying day?