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This Just In: “Hammer” To The Slammer

The Washington Post reports that,

“A judge ordered former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay to serve three years in prison Monday for his role in a scheme to illegally funnel corporate money to Texas candidates in 2002.

The sentence comes after a jury in November convicted DeLay on charges of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. DeLay was once one of the most powerful men in U.S. politics, ascending to the No. 2 job in the House of Representatives.

Senior Judge Pat Priest sentenced him to the three-year term on the conspiracy charge. He also sentenced him to five years in prison on the money laundering charge but allowed DeLay to accept 10 years of probation instead of more prison time.”

Another corrupt Republican bites the dust.

It was 2009 when the public last paid any attention to Tom Delay. He was a contestant on ABC‘s “Dancing With The Stars.” At the time he said, “I love dancing … you’ve got to love dancing if you’re from Texas. Conservatives can have fun too. Conservatives can let their hair down… and put on some dancing shoes.”

That is just the type of talk that should make Delay the most popular twinkle-toes in Cell Block D. Think any of his new inmate boyfriends will be interested in seeing how he performs the “Horizontal Bop?” Will they be viewing this video before he checks in to his new home?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Jailhouse Rock song link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj0Rz-uP4Mk

JAILHOUSE BOP

(sung to the Elvis Presley song “Jailhouse Rock”)

He has to stay locked-up they will not grant him bail
The inmates love to watch Tom Delay shake his tail
His hips were pumpin’, he was shakin’ everything
You should have heard those knocked out jailbirds sing
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

Tommy called his lawyer on the telephone
Asked if Judge Pat Priest could just throw him a bone
Told him he was man-meat for the whole biker gang
Lawyer said, “Thank him that you weren’t sent to hang”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

Should be servin’ seven but he’s servin’ three
He’s the cutest jailbird they ever did see
Bubba is delighted with Tom’s company
“Come on and do the Jaihouse Bop with me!”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

(money laundering break)

Tom Delay was a sittin’ there upon the throne
Way over in the corner weepin’ all alone
Then Bubba said, “Hey Tommy you got pretty hair”
“Now let me hear you Winnie like a chestnut mare!”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

Shifty Henry said to Bugs, “For heaven’s sake”
“Is that really his hammer or is it fake?”
Bugsy said to Shifty, “Buddy don’t get sick”
“But hope Tom sticks around awhile performing tricks”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

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