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We Will Return Shortly To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Lynnrockets (and many other WordPress bloggers) is experiencing some technical difficulties this morning. Apparently there has been some sort of glitch affecting the WordPress servers which has prevented us from accessing the backrooms of our blogs since yesterday afternoon. In layman’s terms that means we have not been able to write or publish new material until now. Unfortunately, Lynnrockets is busy working in the Boston judicial system today and as a consequence thereof, you Rocketeers will have to make do with a very hastily prepared blog entry.

In celebration of Sarah Palin’s recent junket to India and Israel we thought we might re-post a couple of older song parodies about the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s trips to Hong Kong and Kosovo. The nostalgia is running heavy today! Please enjoy (once again)! We will see you tomorrow with new material.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on both of the song links below to familiarize yourselves with the tunes and to have more fun singing along to the parodies.

Downtown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku-1hqA5xw

HONG KONG

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

When she’s not home cuz life is making her lonely
Know where Palin goes? – Hong Kong
She’ll have to hurry just to avoid snow flurries
And she hates the snow – Hong Kong
We all knew she would lose it staying in Wasilla City
Standing on a sidewalk like a hooker that we pity
Sarah’s a flooze

The lights are much brighter there
She can take a bath with bubbles, and do up her hair
She’ll go Hong Kong, things’ll be great there in
Hong Kong – she’ll do some face paintin’
Hong Kong – she’ll even buy some new shoes

In China-Town she’ll order champagne around two
And “go with the flow” – Hong Kong
She’ll grab some dough cuz she has places to go
And she’ll buy new clothes – Hong Kong
She thinks she’ll be a shining star just like a super-nova
But does she know that she’ll explode; stardom will be over
‘fore it begins?

The heights are much higher there
All the intensity doubles as will all her fears
Down in Hong Kong – she’ll be uptight alright
Hong Kong – without a clue that night
Hong Kong – Palin is no sacred cow

(tax break)

She’ll never find somebody kind that understands her world view
Someone who has got a clue not someone like the First Dude
Tagging along

She’ll see that life is not fair
She will leave town on the double, she’ll get out of there
No more Hong Kong, she will escape those shores
Hong Kong – She’ll head right out the door
Hong Kong – she’ll head straight back to Mat-Su

Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong

Kokomo song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VolRRTEQ2F8

KOSOVO

(sung to the Beach Boys song “Kokomo”)

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

From Albania east
There’s a place called Kosovo
That’s where Palin did go to get away from it all

Her jet plane did land
At an airbase in that foreign land
She’s the traveling Guv
We’ll be thinking of but we can’t stand
A clown in Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

Ooo we wanna make her stay in Kosovo
She’ll be their ass
And she’ll dress like a ‘ho
Way off in Kosovo
Way off in Kosovo

First Dude’s a geek, that snowsuit is tres chic

Sarah’s overseas
And she’s learning geography
By and by she will try a little foreign policy

Shooting wolves in flight
Beehive is pulled too tight
The way that she blinks her eyes
Should creep out the National Guard guys
Way off in Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

Ooo we wish she’d settle down in Kosovo
Please get there fast
And please take Plumber Joe
That’s where we wish they’d go
Way off to Kosovo

Preen and primp, Bristol could land a pimp

(Founding Fathers break)

She could make new foes
Most every day in Kosovo
Spending per diem dough
But she would sure miss the mall
Way off in Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

Ooo we wish she’d settle down in Kosovo
Please get there fast
And please take Plumber Joe
That’s where we wish they’d go
Way off to Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
(fading)

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Sarah Palin’s “How To Lose Friends And Alienate Voters”

Not Anymore!

Sometimes you just have to give credit where credit is due. This time the kudos go to Sarah Palin. She has now definitively re-written the book on “How to Lose Friends and Alienate Voters.”

Earlier this week Sarah Palin did what all serious contenders for the Republican nomination for President of the United States must do. She traveled to Israel. This is a right of passage for all potential GOP candidates for POTUS. As a candidate, George W. Bush, Mitt Romney, Haley Barbour, Mike Huckabee, Tim Pawlenty, Newt Gingrich and many, many other Republicans have made this trip. The purpose of such a trip is to signal to the hawkish conservative right and to Jewish voters in the US that the candidate stands firm in his/her commitment to the nation of Israel. In return, the potential candidate hopes to reap Jewish/American campaign donations and votes. It is a win-win situation for both the candidate and Israel.

Such is not the case however with regard to Sarah Palin. Only the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska could manage to lose friends, money and votes by means of her trip. David Frum, a former special assistant to President George W. Bush from 2001 t0 2002 explains in a column written for CNN.com just how the Queen of Quit may have hurt herself with her visit to Israel.

Frum opines that Palin’s decision to book her trip through a Christian tour operator and not the Republican Jewish Coalition was a big mistake. He writes,

Joining an RJC Israel tour is a well-established ritual in gaining the support of the RJC’s board and the group’s 40,000 activist members.

The RJC’s board of directors includes four people who have served as national finance chairs for the Republican Party — the party’s “fundraiser-in-chief.” Eight board members have run major donor groups within the GOP and 18 members served as state finance chairs for George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004. It also includes some less distinguished figures — me, for example.

The RJC local chapters are active in almost every state. Jewish Republican may seem a minority of a minority, but the local chapters contain disproportionate numbers of local Republican activists — the kind of people who make a difference in a state primary…

Over the months since November 2008, the RJC had repeatedly offered to organize an Israel tour for Palin. They have repeatedly invited Palin to speak at their meetings. As a member of the RJC board, I know that Palin’s team engaged in extended conversations about these invitations. Yet they were abruptly shelved. The RJC organization learned that its invitation would not be accepted the same way everybody else did: by reading the newspaper.

Over two months of campaigning in September and October 2008, Palin’s poll numbers tumbled among women and independents. Yet even after the November 2008 loss, Palin remained hugely popular among Republicans.

She has spent the past 2½ years throwing that popularity away, piece by piece. Palin has worked hard to convince even the most ardent Republicans that she would be a doomed candidate and a disastrous president.

With the particular plan she chose for her trip to Israel, Palin alienated a few more potential friends — important ones.

So there you have it. Once again Sarah Palin has managed to make a rose smell like manure.

Inasmuch as we are still talking about the Israel trip, Lynnrockets has the opportunity to re-post a song parody which was originally posted last Saturday. We generally prefer to compose new song parodies as much as possible but since this particular song appeared only on the weekend when readership is down, we thought we would post it once again. Please enjoy!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Hava Naguila song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_G1jF4Pnh0

SHE’S FROM WASILLA

(sung to the Harry Belafonte version of  “Hava Naguila”)

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
She’s there to lend a hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Waiving her hundred-grand
Universally panned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

Low-rent thought-chiller
A Phyllis Diller
She hates Ben Stiller
Sarah Palin

Next trip? Manila
Speak with gorilla
She’s not vanilla
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Crib notes upon her hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
A flaming fire-brand
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Sporting her desert tan
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Next stop is Disney Land
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obsceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene
That’s Sarah Paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

OY VEY! Sarah Palin Heads To Israel!

OK then. Now that the first leg of Sarah Palin’s two-legged world tour is over, let’s concentrate on stage two – Israel. Her goal remains the same. It is merely an attempt to bolster both her near non-existent foreign policy acumen as well as to flee her own nation in light of her ever-decreasing popularity among Republicans.

The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska plans to visit Israel for two days, and will meet with Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu and other members of Israel’s right-wing, including Likud MK Danny Danon, a Danon aide told The Jerusalem Post. One can only imagine the damage that Palin might possibly inflict upon the Israeli/Palistinian peace process if Netanyahu either A) can understand a single word she is talking about or B) adopts any of her recommendations on the subject. I can hear her now,

“Hey Ben, I just love those settlements in the West Bank. They remind me of those capitalistic gold-seekers who rushed to Alaska spreading freedom and oil all over our childrens future in the Great White People North!”

Politico.com reports that Palin’s Israel junket was booked not through diplomatic channels but through a Christian tour operator. That should ensure that Palin gets some kudos from the evangelical right who might have frowned upon a meeting with a non-christian politician. It will also guarantee that we will all soon be blessed with obligatory photos of the Queen of Quit stuffing a crib-note in a crevice of the Wailing Wall and dragging a faux crucifixion cross through the streets of Jerusalem. It is also likely that Palin’s band of followers will receive some sort of Facebook posting or Twitter tweet about how God spoke to her in the Holy City and told her whether or not to run for President, but that she should keep it a secret until later.

Despite all of her best efforts to enhance her foreign policy credentials however, there is still an ever-increasing number of Republicans and Independents that hope that Sarah Palin will remain overseas for the foreseeable future. Every single recent poll reveals that Palin is precipitously losing popularity within those groups. She has no hope of being elected President, yet her refusal to state her intentions clouds the GOP nomination waters. She is a problem that most Republicans wish would go away and stay away.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Hava Naguila song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_G1jF4Pnh0

SHE’S FROM WASILLA

(sung to the Harry Belafonte version of  “Hava Naguila”)

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
She’s there to lend a hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Waiving her hundred-grand
Universally panned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

Low-rent thought-chiller
A Phyllis Diller
She hates Ben Stiller
Sarah Palin

Next trip? Manila
Speak with gorilla
She’s not vanilla
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Crib notes upon her hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
A flaming fire-brand
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Sporting her desert tan
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Next stop is Disney Land
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obsceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene
That’s Sarah Paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

Palin Hopes To Smoke Peace-Pipe With Indians

Lynnrockets has just received a pirated copy of the highly secretive speech which Sarah Palin plans to deliver in India this weekend. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska will deliver the keynote address at the India Today Conclave in New Dehli, a gathering that also features Egyptian opposition leader Mohamed El Baradei and Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. It would appear that Palin is making the trip abroad in an attempt to both bolster her near non-existent foreign policy acumen as well as to flee her own nation in light of her ever-decreasing popularity among Republicans.

This speech will in no way improve her chances at a run for U.S. President. GlobalPost.com reports Palin is unlikely to share a confab with the Indian prime minister. She is on the guest list for the same reason she’s invited anywhere. The conclave is not a peace summit; it’s a for-profit enterprise designed to boost magazine revenue. And because of the circus that surrounds her — and the chance that she will say something surprising or baffling — Palin puts bottoms in seats.

Indeed, former Indian former foreign secretary Kanwal Sibal said,

“Let me put it this way: There will be no serious political attention paid to what she says, but it will be watched with some curiosity to see what potential faux pas she may make.”

Ouch! That is going to leave a mark!

Moving along, here is Sarah Palin’s speech:

Well hiya, Indians. How!

Ya know, I always wondered where curry and peace pipes came from, and now I know. Hey congratulations on not spreading the wealth around.

As a foremost expert on Energies and such I asked my son Trig if I should accept your offer to speak here tonight and he said hell-yeah!
Ya know the only thing more precious than a child, is a vision of an economic that ensures the greatness of achievements so the taxpayers freedoms remain free, like our founding fathers did before our childrens’ future, which is what I’m fighting for but the lametream media won’t let me because they keep making things up also and I wish they’d just quit it ya know?
Because Governing Alaska was just a leetle bit more qualifying than organizing black kids, you betcha, so that’s why I’m on Fox News all the time because basketball moms know the difference between helicopter wolf-hunting and clothes-shopping and when you read all the newspapers like I do you have to ask yourself the hard questions and get things done while protecting your shores because, as a mother, I have a fridge magnet that inspires me every day to keep going and keep fighting for things that are need to be done so that our kids can’t be indoctrinated by the nay-sayers who aren’t real Americans from which we can learn politics as usual isn’t what I’m all about and we should all ask ourselves, in what context? By the way, where’s the casino also, too?

Thank You.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Turning Japanese song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

LEARNING PALINESE

(sung to the Vapors song “Turning Japanese”)

She quotes from scripture
Says, “also too”
Limited world-view
Of that I knew
She was so daring to say, “thanks but no thank you”

Helen Keller
Was more profound
Poor Sarah Palin
Knows so few nouns
I reach for tissue every time that she expounds

Her book has pictures, yes lots of pictures
That’s why the worthless thing flew right off the shelf
Had a witch doctor concoct a mixture
That would drive her demons right on back to hell
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

I saw her picture, I saw her picture
And then I threw-up there all over myself
Sarah’s a talking Tea Party fixture
“Refudiating” things she just said herself
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

All sex and thugs and whining woman
All guns, dumb kin, no clue, she’s lost in the dark
She told us that “death panels” were a sure-fire danger
She speaks in tongues and babbles like a psycho ranger
Hope she runs

That’s why I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

(gibberish break)

Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Think so, think so, think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so