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Palin Hopes To Smoke Peace-Pipe With Indians

Lynnrockets has just received a pirated copy of the highly secretive speech which Sarah Palin plans to deliver in India this weekend. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska will deliver the keynote address at the India Today Conclave in New Dehli, a gathering that also features Egyptian opposition leader Mohamed El Baradei and Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. It would appear that Palin is making the trip abroad in an attempt to both bolster her near non-existent foreign policy acumen as well as to flee her own nation in light of her ever-decreasing popularity among Republicans.

This speech will in no way improve her chances at a run for U.S. President. GlobalPost.com reports Palin is unlikely to share a confab with the Indian prime minister. She is on the guest list for the same reason she’s invited anywhere. The conclave is not a peace summit; it’s a for-profit enterprise designed to boost magazine revenue. And because of the circus that surrounds her — and the chance that she will say something surprising or baffling — Palin puts bottoms in seats.

Indeed, former Indian former foreign secretary Kanwal Sibal said,

“Let me put it this way: There will be no serious political attention paid to what she says, but it will be watched with some curiosity to see what potential faux pas she may make.”

Ouch! That is going to leave a mark!

Moving along, here is Sarah Palin’s speech:

Well hiya, Indians. How!

Ya know, I always wondered where curry and peace pipes came from, and now I know. Hey congratulations on not spreading the wealth around.

As a foremost expert on Energies and such I asked my son Trig if I should accept your offer to speak here tonight and he said hell-yeah!
Ya know the only thing more precious than a child, is a vision of an economic that ensures the greatness of achievements so the taxpayers freedoms remain free, like our founding fathers did before our childrens’ future, which is what I’m fighting for but the lametream media won’t let me because they keep making things up also and I wish they’d just quit it ya know?
Because Governing Alaska was just a leetle bit more qualifying than organizing black kids, you betcha, so that’s why I’m on Fox News all the time because basketball moms know the difference between helicopter wolf-hunting and clothes-shopping and when you read all the newspapers like I do you have to ask yourself the hard questions and get things done while protecting your shores because, as a mother, I have a fridge magnet that inspires me every day to keep going and keep fighting for things that are need to be done so that our kids can’t be indoctrinated by the nay-sayers who aren’t real Americans from which we can learn politics as usual isn’t what I’m all about and we should all ask ourselves, in what context? By the way, where’s the casino also, too?

Thank You.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Turning Japanese song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

LEARNING PALINESE

(sung to the Vapors song “Turning Japanese”)

She quotes from scripture
Says, “also too”
Limited world-view
Of that I knew
She was so daring to say, “thanks but no thank you”

Helen Keller
Was more profound
Poor Sarah Palin
Knows so few nouns
I reach for tissue every time that she expounds

Her book has pictures, yes lots of pictures
That’s why the worthless thing flew right off the shelf
Had a witch doctor concoct a mixture
That would drive her demons right on back to hell
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

I saw her picture, I saw her picture
And then I threw-up there all over myself
Sarah’s a talking Tea Party fixture
“Refudiating” things she just said herself
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

All sex and thugs and whining woman
All guns, dumb kin, no clue, she’s lost in the dark
She told us that “death panels” were a sure-fire danger
She speaks in tongues and babbles like a psycho ranger
Hope she runs

That’s why I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

(gibberish break)

Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Think so, think so, think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

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