Blog Archives

Palin Facing More FaceBook Fallout

A face only FaceBook could love.

Today’s Boston Globe includes an interesting piece about the effects of Sarah Palin’s  recent endorsements of moderate Republican candidates. Here it is.

Because of some surprising endorsements in recent Republican primaries, Sarah Palin has reaped an angry response from some of her own supporters and a fresh round of speculation about her own presidential ambitions in 2012.

“Man, what a terrible choice in Iowa, Sarah,’’ Meghan Swella wrote on Palin’s Facebook wall after the former Alaska governor announced her support for Terry Branstad in last week’s gubernatorial primary.

“I guess you got co-oped [sic] by the milk toast [sic] moderates. I thought you were better than that,’’ she scolded.

In choosing Branstad, Palin skipped over businessman Bob Vander Plaats, a Tea Party favorite, in favor of a former governor with a strong chance of returning to office — and wielding political power when the Iowa presidential caucuses roll around.

“She’s playing her cards, and trying to set herself up’’ for making a push, should she run, said Dante Scala, an associate professor of political science at the University of New Hampshire. Scala said he is watching to see whom, or whether, Palin endorses in his state.

Palin also backed former Hewlett-Packard chief executive Carly Fiorina in last Tuesday’s California Senate primary, and got a backlash on Facebook, a preferred way for Palin to communicate with supporters.

To critics who said Fiorina was a Republican in name only, Palin countered: “Most importantly, Carly is the only conservative in the race who can beat Barbara Boxer. That’s no RINO. That’s a winner.’’

For some conservatives, that’s also a problem. Shelby Blakely, executive director of the Tea Party Patriots’ online publication, New Patriot Journal, said Palin’s endorsement has become “so undependable, it’s marginalized itself.’’

While she once thought highly of Palin, Blakely said that during the past two years the “Going Rogue’’ author has gone more establishment, and she called Palin’s failure to criticize her own party’s establishment bothersome.

Oh no, is there trouble in the tundra?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I’m Stone In Love With You song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nmaGZPN54I

HER FAME IS OVER-DUE

(sung to the Stylistics song “I’m Stone In Love With You”)

If Palin could, she’d like to be a big Tea Party star
Lots of compensation and a big expensive car
Telling lies ‘bout everything while preaching to her choir
These things she’d do, cuz her fame is over-due
(Fame is over-due)

If Palin pursues her plan, accomplishes her quest
She’ll be so successful, it will scare Glenn Beck to death
She would hold a meeting for, Fox News to let them know
She earned it all, cuz her fame was over-due
(Fame was over-due)

One hundred grand she will demand
The price to hear her sing paid by her fans
And if she could, she’d tell them all to screw…

She’d like to someday be the owner of Fox News and its Brit Hume
Doling out her favors when they forecast doom and gloom
Some might say the stupid fool just screams both night and day
And yes it’s true, cuz her fame is over-due
And yes it’s true, cuz her fame is over-due
And yes it’s true, cuz her fame is over-due

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Sarah Palin Says, “Call Me”

"Operator, please connect me with reality. It's urgent!"

Sarah Palin is blowing her own horn once again. The on again, off again part time Fox News guest host and reality television show host feels she should be consulted about the Gulf oil rig disaster. You heard that correctly, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska believes that the President of the United States should telephone her for advise.

Yesterday, she utilized the sophomoric medium of FaceBook to criticize the Commander in Chief and to offer him her assistance. She appears to be outraged at the fact that Obama has not spoken directly to BP CEO, Tony Hayward. Obama told NBC Tuesday that he has not spoken with Hayward because “when you talk to a guy like a BP CEO, he’s gonna say all the right things to me – I’m not interested in words, I’m interested in actions.” Palin’s FaceBook response?

further proof that it bodes well to have some sort of executive experience before occupying the Oval Office,

Palin then claimed that Obama should call experts that lived through the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska, including herself. She said,

We’ve all lived and worked through the Exxon-Valdez spill. They can help you. Give them a call. Or, what the heck, give me a call. Based on my experience working with oil execs as an oil regulator and then as a Governor, you must verify what the oil companies claim – because their perception of circumstances and situations dealing with public resources and public trust is not necessarily shared by those who own America’s public resources and trust.

To a certain degree Palin is correct, “you must verify what the oil companies claim – because their perception of circumstances and situations dealing with public resources and public trust is not necessarily shared by those who own America’s public resources and trust.”, and that is precisely why the President does not feel the need to listen to Hayward’s “perception of circumstances”. Apparently, Palin is also unaware that experts from across the globe (including a few from Alaska) are being consulted by the Obama Administration on a daily basis. It is easy to understand how Palin would be ignorant of this fact in that she only watches Fox News and therefore only receives a limited amount of factual information mixed in with talk of Communists, Fascists and Nazis. Perhaps she does not understand that the President is not interested in the opinion of a half term governor who quit under the pressure of ethics based attacks.

Palin’s overinflated description of her Exxon Valdez experience should also be questioned. After all, fifty days after the Exxon spill occurred, Palin was not exactly involved in plans for remedying that disaster. In fact, she had only earned her bachelor’s degree two years earlier and was busy eloping with her high school sweetheart. Indeed, it was not until 1992 when Palin first held public office in the lowly position of the Wasilla (Alaska) City Council. Not exactly oil industry expertise.

Palin actually never dealt with the oil industry in any capacity until 2003 when she she accepted an appointment to the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission, which oversees Alaska’s oil and gas fields for safety and efficiency. Although she had little background in the area, she said she wanted to learn more about the oil industry, and was named chair of the commission and ethics supervisor. She quit that position in 2004.

To put things in chronological perspective, the jury verdict in Exxon v. Baker occurred in 1994. This was nine years before Palin even sat on the Oil and Gas Conservation Commission and long before she had any real knowledge about the industry. Thereafter, the Exxon case went through a series of appeals culminating in the US Supreme Court decision in 2008 to drastically reduce the damages award. Palin played no part in the litigation at any time. In short, Sarah Palin has no expertise in the field of oil spill clean-up or the litigation necessary to enforce it.

Barack Obama knows this, so don’t wait too long by the phone Sarah darling. Now run along and play while adults deal with the Gulf oil spill crisis.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have way more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Today’s song contemplates President Obama actually calling Sarah Palin for advice.

867 – 5309 (Jenny) song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBHJqtgo8RA

867 – 5309 (SARAH)

(sung to the Tommy Tutone song “867 – 5309 (Jenny)”)

Hey!
Sarah Palin, who can I turn to?
I need an expert that I can talk to
Your oil expertise is the stuff of folklore
I got your name and number on the wall
Sarah, I’ve got your number
I will drop you a line
Sarah, I’ll call your number
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)

Sarah, Sarah you’ll defeat BP
You’re not too bright and you lack a real degree
I should have called you before
But I lost my nerve
Only you can save our nation
Of that, I am sure
Sarah, I’ve got your number
And I can spare the dime
Sarah, I’ll call your number
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)

I got it (I got it), I got it
I got your number on the wall
I got it (I got it), I got it
“For a good time “
“For a good time call”

(solo)

Hey!
Sarah, don’t change your number
I need your feeble mind
Sarah, I’ll call your number
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)

Sarah, Sarah please give us a clue
(867 – 5309)
For the price of a dime I can always turn to you
(867 – 5309)
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)
867 – 5309 (867 – 5309)
5309 (867 – 5309)
5309 (867 – 5309)
5309 (867 – 5309)
(repeat to fade)

Palin Opponents Say, “Fill Baby, Fill”

If you're stupid and you know it, make a fist!

In a blistering response to former ex-quitting governor of Alaska Sarah Palin’s FaceBook posting that environmentalists are to blame for the Gulf oil spill disaster, a new FaceBook group has emerged. The group is known as “1,000,000 People Who Want to Plug the BP Oil Spill with Sarah Palin“. The FaceBook page description reads as follows:

Sometimes, disaster calls for thinking outside the box. A radical departure from the norm, if you will.

And sometimes, the ability to shift your view, to change the paradigm, to think far beyond the conventional wisdom, gives you the opportunity to alter more than one mistake and give dual purpose – in other words, killing two birds with one stone.

Now, we have been presented with the opportunity to not only plug the worst oil spill in U.S. history, but also the opportunity to finally find a purpose for Sarah Palin the erstwhile former Vice-presidential candidate and current $100,000 a gig convention speaker.

Ms. Palin’s “Drill Baby Drill” showed her drive and initiative, and we have no doubt that when we hit one million people, she’ll show her resolve, and take one for the team, doing what no one else on earth has been able to do – stop the BP Oil spill disaster by allowing herself to be the plug that ends the 798,000 gallon-a-day leak that threatens to destroy our coasts.

Help stop the BP Oil leak!

They also offer T-shirts, mugs and tote bags for the cause. The motto: Don a swimsuit. Become a hero. Save the Planet!

Please do this great nation of ours a service and sign-up for this page.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Pretty Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rlB_q6lJ5A

PETTY WOMAN

(sung to the Roy Orbison song “Pretty Woman”)

Petty woman, cannot take the heat
Petty woman, with her Twitter tweets
Petty Woman, I don’t believe you
Can tell the truth
No other crook’s as good as you
Mercy

Petty woman, that’s our Sarah P.
Petty woman, and her Glenn Beck buddy
Petty woman, and her other pal, Hannity
They all work for Fox TV

Petty woman, winks and smiles
Slutty flight attendant style
Petty woman thinks she’s “mav’ricky”
Petty woman will not say
What convention speeches pay
Petty woman speaks in Palineese

We will read you
FaceBook tonight
“Drill Baby-Baby”
You’re not too bright

Petty woman and “First Dude” guy
Built a fence that is, ten feet high
Petty woman, just go away
OK

Joe McGinniss can still see your ways
He sees your rabid foam of hate
You’re such a sorry sight
But wait, Joe now can see
Sarah Palin’s on TV
Yeah, she’s there on Fox TV
O-oh
Petty Woman

The Upside Down World Of Sarah Palin

Coming soon to a theatre near you!!!

One has to wonder if Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska lives in an alternate universe. A place where white is black, up is down and truths are lies. The most recent example of Palin’s bizzaro existence was revealed through last week’s bevy of FaceBook postings and Twitter tweets.

Palin took to those sophomoric forms of communication to….are you ready for this?….blame the environmentalists for the Gulf oil spill disaster. Consider Sarah’s twisted logic for a moment. She believes that the people who desire to protect the earth and its delicate ecosystem are to blame for the oil rig disaster that is polluting the ocean and southern shoreline while killing unknown numbers of animals. Utter nonsense of course, but what can you expect from the confused woman that labeled living wills and durable powers of attorney as “death panels”?

Let’s take a look at her FaceBook rantings, shall we?

Extreme deep water drilling is not the preferred choice to meet our country’s energy needs, but your protests and lawsuits and lies about onshore and shallow water drilling have locked up safer areas. It’s catching up with you. The tragic, unprecedented deep water Gulf oil spill proves it.

and
Radical environmentalists: you are damaging the planet with your efforts to lock up safer drilling areas. There’s nothing clean and green about your misguided, nonsensical radicalism, and Americans are on to you as we question your true motives.

So let’s figure this out. By protesting against on-shore oil drilling in such places as ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge), the environmentalists have forced the nice oil companies to drill in deep water. Problem is, the environmentalists are also against deep water drilling. Either Sarah Palin is not aware of that or she conveniently left that fact out of her postings in an attempt to mislead her followers. Neither situation reflects kindly on Lil Ms. Drill Baby, Drill.

Just a little Sarah Palin dittie to start your day. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Born In The USA song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oVzHm_S0-A

BORN IN GOOD OLD AK

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song, “Born In The U.S.A.”)

Born in an Idaho town
When my parents looked at me they could only frown
My dad he had a job that he sure did hate
So he loaded up the truck and we left the state

I wish I was…

(chorus)
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

We moved to the town of Wasilla
A bland place sort of like vanilla
I became a man killer
A temperament like Godzilla

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I was soon running for the VP
John McCain said I was so “mavericky”
He bought me shoes and a real fine dress
Then he kicked me straight off the “Straight Talk Express”

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I went back to state 49
Acted as if the whole place was mine
I did bitch, I did whine
Committed more than one ethics crime
I did the acts but I won’t serve the time

Up on the North Slope where the oil does flow
I cut some deals oughta make me some dough
Next thing I did write a book
You can make a lot of dough when you’re a crook

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
I’m a lipstick wearin’ pig in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
I’m a pocket hockey momma in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
(fading)

Sarah Palin Faces Fantastic Facebook Fan Fallout

As we mentioned in Monday’s post, Sarah Palin is feeling the heat from her Facebook fans over her recent endorsements of John McCain and Carly Fiorina. You see, most of Palin’s followers are of the rabid Tea-Bagger ilk as a consequence of the former ex-quitting Alaska governor’s self proclaimed uber-right-wing conservative political stance and her multiple appearances at Tea Party rallies. Her recent endorsements of McCain and Fiorina however,  have angered her supporters because they heartily endorse each of those candidate’s far more conservative Tea Party approved opponents. Indeed, they elected to voice their dissatisfaction with the educationally challenged Palin via her own Facebook page. Let’s take a look at some of their comments (editor’s note: all spelling and punctuation has been left intact for full Tea-Bagger effect)…

“The only REAL CONSERVATIVE is Chuck DeVore. Fiorina is a RINO and we don’t need any more of those in [California]. Why wouldn’t you back Chuck DeVore???”

“I don’t agree with this endorsement AT ALL! What are you thinking, Sarah?”

“wait a minute, you just asked us to support a Republican whose values we don’t really understand, and if we do understand them correctly, we don’t agree with. What’s going on here?”

“That’s 2 strikes against you, little sister! One more and you’re done. You’re participating in the kind of political payback that us conservatives hate.”

“I too am very disappointed in this endorsement. DeVore is a much better choice. I didn’t understand McCain but figured she was obligated. Now I just don’t trust her judgment at all.”

“Sarah, I am a huge fan of yours. I can forgive you for backing McCain, but..Carly Fiorino is no friend of yours. She didn’t support you when the MSM was attacking. Please rethink your position and support Chuck Devore. Jim DeMint is behind him, the Tea Party Express supports him and you should too.”

“We total understood why she endorsed McCain over J.D. Hayward (and secretly felt that she would be relieved when Hayward beat mcCain and then headed for a strong chance to win in the General Election), but Palin’s endorsement of Fiorna will backfire.”

“Strike 2”

“Bottom line is that this is yet another endorsement for a non-grassroots candidate, and she’s going to take another significant hit to her credibility with her base in exchange for picking a winner,”

“My first thought when I heard about the endorsement was, wow, I guess she doesn’t plan to run in 2012,”


In all, nearly half of the approximately 1800 comments expressed disappointment with the educationally challenged Palin’s endorsements. Sarah Palin has now successfully alienated another segment of this “great nation of ours”. Heck of a job, Sarah! Keep up the good work!
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Rockin’ Robin song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2RPWZ6qKc&feature=related

ROCKIN’ PALIN

(sung to the Jackson 5 song “Rockin’ Robin”)

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Every little message, every cryptic thing
Every little word from the ding-a-ling
She threw in the towel, it’s time to go
Flappin’ her lips every so and so

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

(musical interlude)

Petty little Palin that we just can’t stand
Tells her SarahPAC ers to fork out ten grand
She flirted with the devil and lost her soul
Payin’ legal bills through Kristan Cole

She sucks like a freeze pop all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Pretty little Palin just can’t understand
No one likes a beggar holding out her hand
Finding new employment is her next big goal
Her next job is with a stage-mounted pole

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet


Sarah Palin Takes The Money And Runs

Palin gives the kiss-off to book buying fans in Indiana.

Remember during the 2008 Presidential campaign when John McCain and Sarah Palin rolled out those commercials wherein they compared Democratic Party nominee Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in an attempt to characterize the future president as a celebrity lightweight? Well, as Reverend Wright once said, “the chickens have come home to roost.” You see, Sarah Palin has now evolved into just the type of air-headed celebrity diva that she at one time criticized. Exhibit 1; she has no meaningful employment (like Paris Hilton) and is famous in the eyes of her fans for nothing other than her personality and for being famous. Exhibit 2; her personal and family life is a mess (like Britney Spears) filled with a single mother teen daughter, an unemployed husband, a criminal sister-in-law, an estranged brother-in-law and an estranged once and future son-in-law that also happens to be the father of her grandson. Exhibit 3; Sarah Palin is now on a rock star like national book-tour to promote a book that she could not even write on her own.

The book-tour itself has not gone without the type of controversy that so often surrounds celebrity divas. Take for example yesterday’s appearance at Fort Bragg where Palin was ordered by Army command to essentially “sit down and shut up”. Although the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska so often drapes herself in the flag and presents herself as an icon of and the primary supporter of our military forces, the military does not return the favor. The brass at Fort Bragg was not about to allow Palin to publicly attack their Commander in Chief, Barack Obama by means of politically grandstanding before the troops during her book signing. Consequently, she was restricted from giving a speech, taking photos and personalizing notes in the books that she signed. Also too, just thinking aloud here, but why did the patriotic, physically fit basketball player, beauty contestant never demonstrate her unfaltering support for the military by enlisting therein?

Even more entertaining however was the fiasco known as the Noblesville, Indiana Borders Books appearance. Throngs of Palin supporters endured the chillingly cold and wet weather waiting in line for up to 9 hours to buy her book and obtain a wristband which would entitle them to meet Palin and get their book signed in person on November 19th. That of course was of no concern to Sarah Palin who simply up and quit signing (sound familiar?)  in the middle of the event and promptly boarded her luxury coach to depart for places unknown. It was of no consequence to Sarah Palin that these people paid good money for her book (which enriched the former governor), skipped work (which decreased their fortunes) and suffered for hours waiting outside in the elements. Needless to say, many of those people were outraged by Palin’s callous action and vowed to return their books and cease their support for the former vice presidential candidate. Thereafter in a feeble attempt to quell the backlash against her, Palin issued this statement via Facebook,

I’ve been told that yesterday there were supporters in Noblesville who stood in long lines for hours in the cold and rain, and the book signing event ended without a chance to say hello to everyone who showed up. I am so sorry. We are working on a solution for those who were left behind. I apologize.

The best part of the half apology is that, as usual, Palin accepts no personal blame. By saying, “I’ve been told” that the terrible thing happened, Palin implies that she personally knew nothing about it and therefore cannot be held personally responsible. Problem is, before her bus was able to leave the parking lot, it was swarmed by a mass of protesting former fans. Could Palin not see them out the windows of the bus? Could she not hear them? The answer is that she could both see and hear them and that her apology simply adds to her growing list of lies. Please watch the following clip from MSNBC‘s Countdown With Keith Olbermann for an overview of the book signing disaster:

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Please Mr. Postman song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cxSAh-LFAM

MRS. PALIN

(sung to the Beatles version of the song “Mr. Postman”)

Wait, oh yes wait a minute Mrs. Palin
Wait, wait Mrs. Palin

Mrs. Palin can’t you see?
We camped out overnight here in Indy?
We’ve been waiting such a long time
We froze our asses off in line

You must have something to say
Why did you blow us off today?
Please Sarah Palin honestly,
Why did you treat us so egregiously?
We’ve been standing here waiting Mrs. Palin
So patiently
Why not some word, or even better
Will you just sign this damn book for me?

Please Mrs. Palin can’t you see?
We’ve paid our SarahPAC membership fees
You left us waiting in this line
“Stick your book where the sun don’t shine!”

We won’t forget you passed us by
You can kiss our support bye-bye
You didn’t stop to make us feel better
No, you left us out in the bad weather

Sarah Palin can’t you see?
We’re gonna hang out your dirty laundry
It will hang out there on that line
You stood us up for the very last time!

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Now you will see, you’re our enemy

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Mrs. Palin
We all will remember, 19th of November!!!

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
(repeat to fade)

Sarah Palin: The Facebook Schnook Or The Quitter On Twitter?

Immanuel Kant, a philosopher of the theory of knowledge was once quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune as having said, “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.” Did we ever mention that Sarah Palin has poor organizational skills?

The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska  demonstrated to us once again last Friday evening that she finds no correlation between science, life, organization and wisdom. She utilized Facebook, her second favorite means of transmitting ideas to oppose the Senate Democrats’ intention to hold a Saturday vote on whether to proceed with debate on its version of the health care reform bill. By the way, Ms. Quittypants’ first favorite means of transmitting ideas is Twitter because her ideas can usually be expressed in much less than that format’s 140 character restriction. On Facebook she said,

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is pushing for yet another weekend vote (commonplace now for the party of “transparency”) because he knows that the American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over,

Okay, where to begin? How does holding a weekend vote somehow show a lack of “transparency”? Is the vote not open and public? Is there a “cone of silence” that somehow descends upon the Capitol on Saturday? Is there a problem with trying to get a vote in before the process is delayed further by this week’s Thanksgiving recess? Has Palin ever criticized the countless times that the previous Republican majority held weekend votes?

Secondly, although nearly every single non-partisan poll shows that a majority of Americans are in favor of health care reform, Palin says that the “American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over.” Does having a Saturday vote simply upon the matter of whether or not to proceed with debate on the content of the proposed bill somehow limit the amount of time that the American people will have to consider the content of the bill? Isn’t it during the actual debate of the substantive provisions of the bill that the American people will learn more about its content? That’s all very nice dear Sarah, but please run along now while the nice senators are trying to have an adult conversation on health care reform.

Of course after having utilized Facebook, the “Alaska Disaster” could not resist the urge to tweet away. Please consider this gem of a Twitter post that she authored on Saturday, the day of the vote,

Thot I’d stick w tour news on Twitter but can’t help digress: Call senators! Tell ’em KILL THE BILL tonite;horrible govt healthcare takeover.Senate healthcare takeover debate begins in an hour. Pls call senators if u care about another 1/6th of our economy swallowed up by Big Govt

Proof positive of the power of a University of Idaho journalism degree. Will Palin ever realize that should she choose to pursue elective office in the future, these inane tweets will come back to haunt her? Oh well, the rest of us can at least remain assured that certain time-tested scientific facts remain intact. The theory that everything that Sarah Palin touches will in turn transform itself into manure has held true once again. The Senate vote to proceed with debate on the health care reform bill of course, passed by a filibuster-proof 60 to 40 vote. Good work Sarah. You may not believe in or understand science, but time and again you prove it correct.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Say A Little Prayer For You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLCRUWCETK4

I SAY A WITCH-MASS PRAYER FOR YOU

sung to the Dionne Warwick song “I Say A Little Prayer For You ”

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a witch-mass prayer for Todd
While combing my hair now,
And choosing which specs to wear now
I’m casting out demons for God

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

I look at my new house
So glad the First Dude is my spouse
He helped a lot with Mike Wooten
We made love on state time
Except when it was headache time
Or when I would deal with Putin

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

Sarah Palin, The Sometimes Reluctant Covergirl

There she goes again. Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is once again claiming to be a victim of the mainstream media. This time the target of her accusation is the November 22, 2oo9 edition of Newsweek magazine (see above). On Monday, Palin posted the following on her Facebook page:

“The choice of photo for the cover of this week’s Newsweek is unfortunate. When it comes to Sarah Palin, this ‘news’ magazine has relished focusing on the irrelevant rather than the relevant. The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist, and oh-so-expected by now.”

But is it really the photo that Ms. Quittypants is upset about for being “sexist”? After all, she did pose for that photo and never objected publicly to the nearly identical photos published this year in a running magazine. And do “sexist” magazine covers always bother her? If so, then why did she not complain about being referred to as “America’s Hottest Governor” on the cover of the February 2008 edition of Alaska magazine? No, we would venture to guess that Palin is not as upset at the photo which appears on the cover of Newsweek, but rather the caption which accompanies it. It says, “How do you solve a problem like Sarah? She’s bad news for the GOP – and for everybody else, too.” It seems that the clearly “sexist” caption of the Alaska magazine was okay for Sarah because it was flattering to her. The Newsweek photo however, was highly objectionable it seems, because the accompanying caption cast Palin in such an unflattering light.

Poor Sarah, she can’t help it. She was born with a simple mind in her mouth.

And that brings us to today’s parody. In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Simon Says song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTBpafu_DE8&feature=PlayList&p=C7BA3DA90EF5F781&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6

SIMPLE SARAH SAYS

(sung to the 1910 Fruitgum Company song “Simon Says”)

She likes to play a game,
That is so much fun,
And it’s something even she can do,
The name of the game is “Simple Sarah Says”,
And she would like for you to play it too

Put style gel in your hair,
Simple Sarah says,
Lipstick on your mouth,
Simple Sarah says,
Do it when Palin says,
Simple Sarah says,
And they will vote you right out

Simple Sarah says,
Put glasses on your head,
Don some pants that stretch,
Sarah says,

Simple Sarah says,
Get Bristol out of bed,
That Levi is stiff,
Sarah says,

A beehive on your head,
Simple Sarah says,
The First Dude by your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Hate speech for the left,
Simple Sarah says,
Kind words for the right

(musical interlude)

F-me pumps that are red,
Simple Sarah says,
A gun strapped to your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Diversity left,
Simple Sarah says,
Only whites on the right

Now that we have learned,
To play this game with she,
Sarah Palin has something to do,
Let’s try it once again,
We’ll mimic Sarah P.,
But let’s do it while we’re drinking too

Go kill a polar bear,
Simple Sarah says,
Give your shoes a shine,
Simple Sarah says,
Dress yourself like a whore,
Simple Sarah says,
Ah, you’re looking fine,
Simple Sarah says,
Now, interview if you dare,
Simple Sarah says,
Mingle with the slime,
Simple Sarah says,
Get your ass out the door,
Simple Sarah says,
Make it double time

Sarah Palin, The Book Tour Bore (Reposted and Updated)

Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.

Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is the epitome of “the gift that keeps on giving.” A few weeks ago we learned that not only is she job hunting by means of posting her resume on LinkedIn, the Facebook for grown-ups, but we also learned that she will appear for an interview with Oprah on the eve of the release of her ghostwritten pop-up memoir. Wow, where to begin?

Palin is either in such dire financial straits that she will do anything to get a new job and stir up some book sales, or she is a dim-witted glutton for punishment. Then again, those choices are not mutually exclusive. Has anybody heard anything about any job offers springing from LinkedIn? We certainly have not. Strangely enough however, Levi Johnston, her once and future son-in-law, seems to be moving up in the world by means of chumming around with Donald Trump and evolving into the type of tabloid celebrity that Palin has always wanted to be. Perhaps the Oprah appearance will launch Ms. Quittypants into that world as well.

Yet, does Palin think that Oprah Winfrey’s audience has any use for her feminist-belittling brand of politics? Her stance against equal pay for equal work in the workplace and her penchant for charging rape victims for rape kits is not likely to sit well with those women who adore the female empowering posture of Oprah. Then there is Oprah Winfrey herself. It was Winfrey’s fierce opposition to the McCain/Palin ticket that triggered her first ever public endorsement for the Presidency, and it was not for the duo of Old and Dumb. We can only hope that prior to the interview Oprah gets an English translation of Palin’s book so that she can do some fact checking in advance. When one considers how hilariously poor Palin performed in her interviews with Gibson and Couric last Fall, we can only hope that the Oprah interview produces more of the same. How familiar can Palin be with the content of a book about herself that she did not author. It will not be Frost/Nixon, but this could be one interview for the ages if Winfrey plays it tough. Keep your fingers crossed.

In the meantime, let’s have some fun with a song parody directed at the Oprah/Palin interview.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

OPRAH’S-CABANA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah,
In search of dough girl
She had a beehive in her hair and stinging rhetoric to spare
She hated questions which she coined “Gotcha”
But she wanted to be a star,
On TeeVee while with Oprah
She feared becoming poor
So she had a book tour
She’d do this show and then another
And so many more

She’s on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She would be a star just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She lacked compassion but had stewardess fashion
And with Oprah…she’d find some love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

Her name was Oprah,
She shined like diamonds
While in that interviewer’s chair, she would give Palin a scare
And when she skewered that Holy Roller
It would be Palin’s au revoir
That interview will leave a scar
Then Sarah you know who,
Will blame Oprah’s stage crew
Her winking eyes will be all bloodshot
She will cry, “Boo-Hoo”

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She looked like a chimp with banana
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She had a passion for air hostess fashion
But with Oprah…she got no love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

(Oprah  Oprah-Cabana) (Oprah-Cabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Oprah Oprah-Cabana)
(Sarah P.,  rhymes with Hannity)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Palin,
She was a Guv’nor
But that was several months ago before she “went with the flow”
Now she’s a bimbo and she is failin’
A lip-sticked pig beyond compare
And with enemies to spare
She was a star that shined
But only with her kind
She was uncouth and she was a phony
Before she resigned

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
A fading starlet just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She took a thrashin’ while her teeth were gnashin’
And with Oprah…she got no love

(Oprah) That’s our failed Guv
Oprah’s-Cabana
Oprah’s-Cabana
(Fade to end)

Sarah Palin: “Will Work For Food”

palin-quits-again

The fame and fortune that she expected after quitting her job as Governor of Alaska have thus far eluded Sarah Palin. The prolific speaking engagements have been few and far between primarily because only the one in Hong Kong was a paying gig. All of the others were non-paying engagements most of which, not unexpectedly, Palin did not attend. Todd “The First Dude” Palin also recently quit his job with oil producer British Petroleum. Quitting seems to be a Palin family trait. Additionally, the release date of Sarah Palin’s ghostwritten memoir has been moved up from Spring 2010 to November 2009. Could it be that she needs the money now and wants to cash in on Christmas gift sales?

Sarah Palin’s most recent cry for pay has come in the form of a newly created LinkedIn posting. CNN reports that Palin has placed her resume on the “Facebook for professionals”, a social media site that displays people’s resumes and allows for business networking for members to find a job. Along with her posted resume that includes the jobs that she has quit, Palin also states on the site that she is interested in…

“Job inquiries, expertise requests, business deals, reference requests, and getting back in touch.”

Apparently Palin did not receive the job nibbles she expected from her postings on Monster.com, Facebook and Twitter, so now she is shopping her resume on this more upscale site. It is interesting to contemplate just exactly what type of “expertise requests” she is qualified to fulfill and what “business deals” she is interested in. Most fascinating of all however, is Palin’s interest in “getting back in touch.” That is particularly humorous coming from the woman who told Katie Couric during a nationally televised interview, “I’ll try to find ya some and I’ll bring them to ya” when she was asked to provide specific examples of John McCain seeking tighter regulations on the financial industry. As we all know, Palin never did “get back in touch” with Couric on that matter. Let’s watch her stammering response just for laughs.

What is the next tactic to be used by Sarah Palin in her search for employment, sandwich boards?

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Taking Care Of Business song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSlZi01Hm-8&feature=related

DRUMMING UP SOME BUSINESS

(sung to the Bachman, Turner Overdrive song, “Taking Care of Business”)

She gets up every morning
To hell with global warming
As she hums the new Lynnrockets’ dittie
She’s a nervous wreck because
Ol’ Michael Wooten’s still a fuzz
She’s a joke in Wasilla City

And if her brain’s online
She might feature in prime time
The exposure just might get her some pay
Sarah Palin is annoyed
That she is now unemployed
Public speaking was not her pay day

So she’ll be…
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time
Look out

If it were as easy as fishin’
She could be a beautician
And color your hair brown or yellow
She could work down at the bar
No need to wear a bra
She’d be loved by all those drunk red-neck fellows
The election was not won
Sarah Palin has no fun
Never should have happened that way
Republicans now avoid
This gal that’s unemployed
They keep pushing her further away

So she’ll be…
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time
Look out

(musical interlude)

Taking care of her business
She needs pay
Any ol’ way

She wakes up every morning
Her prospects are not warming
She won’t get too far on being pretty
Maybe the Lord up above
Will give Sarah Palin a shove
Right now she is someone to pity

And if she trains her mind
Joe The Plumber might be kind
And give her a position someday
Palin would be overjoyed
If she was not unemployed
She’d be snaking toilets everyday

So she’ll be…
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time

Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business, every day
Drumming up some business, every way
Sarah’s been drumming up some business, for a dime
Drumming up some business, and hoping for face time, Wooh

Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Sarah’s drumming up some business
She’ll be drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business
Drumming up some business