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Calling Dr. Palin, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard

New street signs approved by the Wasilla, Alaska Dept. of Public Works

New street signs approved by the Wasilla, Alaska Dept. of Public Works

My goodness gracious, Sarah Palin is at it again. That’s right folks, inasmuch as the Republican Party has failed to come up with any health care reform legislation, the quitting ex-governor of Alaska has done so all by her little self. The Palin plan is like one of those things that you think is stupid when you first hear it, but then when you think about it for awhile you realize that it is even dumber than you first thought.

Here we go. First of all she claims that her plan will not have any of those pesky “death panels”. But that is just the start of her health system overhaul. Remember when all of those bat-crazy elderly tea-baggers were appearing at Town Hall Meetings to express their opposition to any public health insurance plan because they demanded that the government “leave my medicare alone”? Well, Palins plan will not only alter their medicare coverage, it will cancel it entirely. Palin wants to help the elderly by simply “…providing Medicare recipients with vouchers that allow them to purchase their own coverage;…”

Great plan Sarah. I’m sure it took a lot of deep thinking to come up with that one. Who was your expert source, Piper? Let’s think this through for a minute. We take medicare away from the elderly and give them cash vouchers to purchase private health insurance from for-profit private insurance companies. That should be easy because none of those elderly people should have any pre-existing medical conditions that would prohibit them from obtaining coverage in the private sector right? I’m also sure that all of those elderly folks with failing concentration problems and “dare I say”, things such as early onset dementia should have no problem whatsoever comparing hundreds of different insurance plans and determining which one best fits their individual circumstances. After all, they have all the time in the world to read those policies because they are too old and feeble to work. That fine print shouldn’t confuse them or add any additional stress to their lives either.

Sign me up, Sarah. You are a real genius.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Getting Better song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=futxIzHLcuM&feature=related

GETTING BETTER

(sung to the Beatles song “Getting Better”)

She’s getting better all the time

She did really bad while in school (Sarah can’t complain)
The intelligence of a fool (Sarah can’t complain)
In each college town, Grades tumbling down
Attending just safety schools (foolish rules)

We’ve got to admit it’s no better (better)
Not getting better all this time (it can get much worse)
Just how did John McCain fail to vet her (vet her)
He failed to vet her. That’s being kind

Now Mac’s just an angry old man
His Sarah Palin pick was panned
She’s a coo-coo bird, that can’t speak a word
A pregnancy that was unplanned

We’ve got to admit it’s no better (better)
Not getting better all this time (it can get much worse)
Just how did John McCain fail to vet her (vet her)
He failed to vet her. That’s being kind

Still not getting better all this time
Not getting better all this time
Better, better, better
Not getting better all this time
Better, better, better

He shouldn’t have picked that dumb woman
Dead-beater was falling apart and would never be loved
Man she was green and also really mean
His choice should have been much better planned (Ooh)

I submit Romney was better (Better)
Romney was better all the time (Palin made it worse)
McCain wishes he never met her (Met her)
Could have been better McCain opines
Could have been much better Mac opines
Romney was better all the time
Better, better, better
Romney was better all the time
Better, better, better
Romney was much better all the time

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Palin’s Panels Of Death

Sarah Palin reacts to Death Panel verdict regarding her political future.

Sarah Palin reacts to Death Panel verdict regarding her political future.

As Sgt. Joe Friday from television’s Dragnet would say, “Just the facts, Sarah. Just the facts.” It would behoove all of Red America to heed those words of wisdom when it comes to health care reform. Honestly, is this all that health care reform opponents have left? These uneducated morons that keep showing up at Town Hall Meetings are making jack-asses of themselves every time they scream out one of their baseless talking points.

First there are the oh, so confused senior citizens who are screaming that they oppose a public health care option because they do not want their Medicare to be tampered with. Do they not realize that Medicare itself is a government taxpayer funded public health care plan? It would seem that their grey matter must have already appeared before one of Sarah Palin’s “death panels” because these folks are brain-dead.

Next, we have the flip floppers like Glenn Beck who go on Fox News every night and bemoan the potential demise of the greatest health care system on earth. Problem is, just two short years ago, while he was with CNN he said,

This is one of the most eye opening experiences of my life to receive health care in the United States. This is one of the hospitals where the President of GE is going. If they don’t care about the president of GE, do you really think they care about schlubs that are just average working stiffs?

A few days later he went on to say,

No matter how much our health care system would try to keep me down, I’m back. We seem to be a society or a system in health care that is that is just trying to shove the patients out that door as fast as they can. Getting well in this country can actually almost kill you.

Really, you cannot make this stuff up to be any funnier than it is. Please do yourselves a favor and watch the absolutely hilarious film clip of Glenn Beck And The Amazing Technicolor Flip Flop here.

Please stay tuned for more stories of the incredibly stupid Town Hall Protestors.

Today’s song parody is one in which we simply express the desire to get the actual facts of health care reform out there in front of the public. Please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Taxman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Maz9ddxEQnM&feature=related

FACTS MAN

(sung to The Beatles song “Taxman”)

1,2,3,4,1,2

Let me tell you how it will be
Health care reform for you and me
So here’s the facts, man
Yeah, here’s the facts, man
Top two percent, they have it all
Fine health care and taxes that fall
But here’s the facts, man

(In those lands afar, far) Health can’t be beat
(It just costs a bit, bit) It’s quite a feat
(If you catch a cold, cold) Your script’s complete
(If you need nerve block, block) It’s down the street
Facts, man

(musical interlude)

So here’s the facts man
Yeah, here’s the facts, man
We need it like no time before
(Ah, ha please just fill us in)
Health reform will even the score
(A bill with some teeth)
So here’s the facts, man
Yeeeah, here’s the facts, man

Those “death panels” were just a lie (Facts, man!)
No-one wants grandparents to die (Facts, man!)
Those are the facts, man
Yeah, just the facts, man
Health reform for you and for me
(Facts, man)