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Staffers Fleeing The Sinking S.S. Bachmann

Seperated at birth

Many have speculated that Republicans in Congress have planned to do what they they can to prevent the economy from improving at least until the 2012 elections. The theory is, that if the economy fails to significantly improve, the GOP can blame President Obama and Congressional Democrats and convince voters to support Republicans in November 2012. This plot was evident back in November 2010 when Republican Senate leader Mitch McConnell unabashedly admitted that, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” The GOP plan was further revealed in the very basic fact that the Republican majority House of Representatives has failed to pass a single jobs bill since taking control of that chamber in 2010. It is clear that Republicans do not care about helping the economy and the 99% of American citizens who are suffering. They care only about themselves and the next election.

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann is no different. In fact, she has gone one step further and personally contributed to the nation’s unemployment problem. Bachmann has reportedly failed to pay her New Hampshire staff members for over a month, thereby causing them to quit en masse last Friday. Consequently, there are now five more people on the unemployment rolls.

Bachmann appeared dumbfounded when asked the defections. On Friday, she appeared on an Iowa radio station and said, “This is a shocking story to me, I don’t know where that came from. We have called staff in New Hampshire to find out where that came from and the staff have said that isn’t true, so I don’t know if this is just a bad story that’s being fed by a different candidate or campaign. I have no idea where this came from, but we’ve made calls and it’s certainly not true.”

Apparently Bachmann made calls to the wrong people because it is true that her staff has quit. This should not have come as a surprise to the moonbat-crazy Bachmann inasmuch as she has already suffered a string of defections since she declared her candidacy. She previously lost campaign manager Ed Rollins, deputy manager David Polyansky, pollster Ed Goeas, adviser Andy Parish and spokesperson Doug Sachtleben. Indeed, Bachmann has proven that she is surely not one of those GOP-heralded “job creators” who they are always defending.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bette Davis Eyes” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifDycyRNpcI

MICHELE BACHMANN EYES

 (sung to the Kim Carnes song “Bette Davis Eyes”)

Her hair is wild and bold
Her breath smells like fries
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s a Tea Party pawn
And she never thinks twice
She’s running out of dough
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’s out there all alone
Confused and so uptight
Don’t listen to her drone
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s made a fumble or two
Misspoken more than twice
Staffers quit on her too
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll tease you
She’ll unease you
Just to squeeze you
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’ll confuse you
And she’ll lose you
(fade to end)

The Ever- Revolving Door At Chez Bachmann

First of all, I hope all of you fellow Rocketeers had a happy and healthy Labor Day. As the summer begins its slow march into autumn, here’s hoping that all of you enjoy the passing of the seasons as much as I do. There is  nothing more beautiful than the fall foliage season here in New England especially when it is accompanied by the sweet smells of burning leaves, hot spiced apple cider and the clean crispness of the air. It doesn’t hurt that football returns each Saturday and Sunday either. By the way, I’ll post the roster of my fantasy football team at the end of this column.

As the seasons change, so does the staff of the Michele Bachmann campaign. That revolving door of staffers just keeps on spinning and spinning. As of July 2010, moonbat-crazy Bachmann had already had no less than five chiefs of staff quit her congressional office. By that time she had also had her finance director quit. Then in February 2011 her spokesman and a district director quit on her.

Now we have learned today that Bachmann’s  highly touted campaign manager, Ed Rollins has quit. CNN also reports that her deputy campaign manager, David Polyansky quit last weekend. Rollins went so far as to say that Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s entry into the Presidential race has dealt a serious blow to Michele Bachmann,

“Legitimately, it’s a Romney-Perry race,” Rollins said. “I think she’s the third candidate at this point in time…”

It is becoming increasingly obvious that Michele Bachmann does not “work and play well with others”. She cannot maintain a staff. Her fellow Republican Representatives of the House believe that she hurts the party by refusing to be a team member. Even her much ballyhooed Tea Party Caucus has very few members and has seldom convened for a meeting.

It would appear that even those who are closest to Michele Bachmann eventually realize that she is essentially a crazy psychotic that should not be allowed anywhere near the White House. Is that the proverbial “Fat Lady” who I can hear singing in the background?

That’s all for Bachmann, so here is my fantasy football league team lineup for 2011

PUNCH THE CLOWN

QB:  Aaron Rodgers

QB:  Donovan McNabb

RB:  Maurice Jones-Drew

RB:  Peyton Hillis

RB:  Ahmad Bradshaw

RB:  Pierre Thomas

RB:  James Starks

WR:  Jeremy Maclin

WR:  Danny Amendola

WR:  Donald Driver

WR:  Sidney Rice

WR:  Lance Moore

TE:  Kellen Winslow, Jr.

TE:  Chris Cooley

K:   Matt Bryant

K:   Billy Cundiff

Def:  Giants

Def:  Cardinals

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time