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Sarah Palin Is “Tripp”ed-Up In Custody Battle

Levi Johnston appears to have landed the last blow in his battle with Sarah Palin for calendar year 2009. It was recently revealed that Palin’s daughter, Bristol has commenced court proceedings in an attempt to secure sole legal custody over her son, Tripp. Tripp’s father of course, is none other than Levi Johnston. Unfortunately for the Palins however, things have not gone as smoothly as planned.

Although Bristol Palin is the named litigant, Her mother Sarah’s fingerprints are all over this court proceeding. To begin, Bristol’s lawyer happens to be Sarah Palin’s personal attorney, Thomas Van Flein. It can also be assumed that the legal fees, if any, are being paid by “Mama Bear” Palin inasmuch as it does not appear that Bristol is employed or has any stream of income. Finally, the court pleadings reveal that the Palin camp has attempted to have all court records deemed confidential and closed to the public as well as to have the litigants names redacted and replaced with pseudonyms. Secrecy of course, is a Palin trademark.

Father Levi however, opposed the secrecy and in a scathing affidavit filed with the court he alleged,

I know that public scrutiny will simplify this matter and act as a check against anyone’s need to be overly vindictive, aggressive or malicious, not that Bristol would ever be that way, nor that I would. But her mother is powerful, politically ambitious and has a reputation for being extremely vindictive, so, I think a public case might go a long way in reducing Sarah Palin’s instinct to attack.

The court agrees with Levi Johnston. On December 23, 2009 it denied the Palin clan’s request to use pseudonyms and ordered that all court records remain open to public scrutiny. We cannot wait for further public disclosure of the inner workings of the Palin family which should be revealed in the next few months. Are you listening, Court TV ?

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Goldfinger song link:


(sung to the theme of “James Bond’s Goldfinger”)

She’s the gal, who’s hairstyle is a bit much
She’s stripped her clutch
Such a gold-digger
Signing books for dough while wearing a grin
It’s a win-win

Golden words Palin pours in your ear
But her lies will continue next year
Her voice resembles a cobra’s hisses
she’s got real bad breath…

That Mrs. – – – – Gold-Digger.
Sarah P. will do anything for gold
If truth be told

Palin’s mantra is hatred and fear
Blinking eyes, telling lies everywhere
To the soldier boys, Palin blows kisses
It’s the kiss of death…

From Mrs. Gold-Digger
Baby Trigg’s birth story remains untold
If truth be told
The story controlled
We were sold
Sarah’s bold
The story controlled
We were sold
Sarah’s bold.