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Hooray!!! The Sarah Palin Comedy Show Redux !!!

Hold on to your seats folks. The fun may be set to begin again. Just when you thought you had laughed at every clown in the Koch Bros. and Tea Party Flying Circus, we may have a new entertainer re-emerging. No, not Herman Cain. Nope, not Chris Christie. We are not even speaking of The Donald. We may have ourselves a genuine mental case resurfacing in the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Ladies and gentlemen please rise and put your hands together for none other than “The Alaska Disaster”, “The Queen of Quit”, Sarah Palin!

Seriously. This is not a joke. While appearing on Fox News (where else?) last night, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said that she may enter the race despite her firm pronouncement to the contrary on October 5th. When asked by the host whether anybody else might still get involved in the presidential race, Palin said “It’s not too late for folks to jump in. Who knows what will happen in the future.”

Bloggers everywhere are now salivating. There is nothing more entertaining than watching Sarah Palin make a public fool of herself as she tries to make a point. Remember the time when she was speaking at that farm while a poor turkey was having his head chopped off right behind her? How about the time she was caught with crib-notes  written on her hand during a televised interview? Who will ever forget the time that she completely botched the purpose and method of Paul Revere’s famous Midnight Ride just after she visited the Old North church in Boston? Then there was the time when she could not tell a 5th grader what the Vice president does. Most entertaining of all, of course, were her hilarious televised interviews with Katie Couric and Charles Gibson. Ahhh, those halcyon days of Palin!

This may be the best Christmas present many of us could possibly hope for.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday season inspired song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND (Part 2)

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Intellect, you are missing
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
What’s that sound that you’re hissing?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold some books and made a lot of dough, man
They had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah Palin Agrees To Interview With Lamestream Media (sort of)

Day by day it becomes more evident that Sarah Palin will run for President of the United States in 2012. She has admitted that she is considering such a campaign but sometimes actions speak louder than words. This is especially true in reference to Palin who lies so frequently that her words have no credibility. She is however, acting like someone poised to run. Consider that she made sure that early caucus state Iowa was on her recent book signing for profit tour. How about her recent trip to Haiti in an attempt to enhance her foreign policy bona fides? And now we learn that she will give an interview to the hated “lamestream media”.

Yes, you read that correctly. Sarah Palin will be interviewed on “Good Morning America” this Friday by Robin Roberts. You knew that Palin would never agree to be questioned by co-anchor George Stephanopoulos. You might be wondering if this is the first such interview by Palin with a traditional television network since her disastrous and hilarious encounters with Charles Gibson and Katie Couric back in 2008. The answer is a resounding, “Yes”. Truth be told, Palin did appear with Barbara Walters on her “Most Fascinating” special and she also sat with Oprah, but those were mere fluff pieces with no hard-hitting questions. Now, “Good Morning America” is certainly no “Meet The Press” or “Face The Nation”, but it at least has the potential to stump Palin with a few unexpected questions unlike her staged Fox News appearances.

On its website, ABC says that, “Roberts will spend a day-in-the-life with the former governor and mother of five at her home in Wasilla”.  The network also says, “In a wide-ranging interview, Roberts will talk to Palin about her new book “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag,” plus all the major political news of the day, from taxes to health care to foreign policy.” Let’s see just how in depth the questions on taxes, health care and foreign policy will be and whether there will be any serious follow-up questions to Palin’s sure-to-be unintelligible answers.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season song parody which was requested by a loyal Rocketeer.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU

RUDOLPH’S BEEN GUNNED DOWN BY SARAH PALIN

(sung to the Christmas song “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

She was drunk on brandy-eggnogs
Like Rudolph’s nose, she did glow
Mixing booze with her medication
So like a dead fish “she went with the flow”

She went out that chilly morning
With her gun strapped to her back
Bullets as lethal as warheads
All the best equipment bought by SarahPAC

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Tea-Baggers are so proud of Sarah
Santa Claus can go to hell
With her they are having a ball
Making signs and shouting words that they can’t spell

Palin is one bad-ass grandma
A big fence surrounds her shack
And with Todd the dumb Boy-Wonder
They will fight-off “lamestram media” attacks

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

On her show which airs on cable
Also on her Fox News gig
Sarah sports those trashy sandals
Just like putting bright red “lipstick on a pig”

Sarah lacks both friends and neighbors
She scares them with bullet shells
And she hunts without a license
Sarah Palin will do anything that sells

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

(sing it Sarah!)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Sarah Palin Is Not Tina’s Fey(vorite) Person

America as a nation owes a substantial debt of gratitude to Tina Fey. This wonderful woman did more to reveal the ridiculousness of Sarah Palin during the 2008 Presidential election campaign than did any single member of the “lamestream” media. OK, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric also did their part. Nevertheless, it was Tina Fey who made it all so humorously memorable. Who will ever forget when she gave a spot-on Palin impersonation and said, “I can see Alaska from my house” or “Katie, I’d like to use one of my lifelines, I’d like to phone a friend”?

How about when she simply parroted the near exact words of Sarah Palin giving an answer during the Katie Couric interview on the subject of the bank bailout which Palin was in favor of before she was against it? If you do not remember that, do not worry. Here it is the original and the Tina Fey version for your viewing pleasure. (For the second video you will be prompted to click on the YouTube link.)

Thanks for the memories, Tina.

Well, lucky for us, Tina Fey is not quite done ribbing Palin. Fey was awarded the 2010 Mark Twain Prize for Humor a few weeks ago and she went at Sarah Palin yet again. Upon accepting the award, she said the following:

I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight. My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me. And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women – except, of course –those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years – whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know – actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.

You just have to love Tina Fey. Brava!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Sarah Palin: A Twittering Chronic Facebook Malcontent

The E*Trade Baby is perplexed by Palin.

In light of this week’s flurry of childlike Twitter tweets against both Alan Grayson and new White House Chief of Staff, Pete Rouse, it is painfully obvious that Sarah Palin will disagree with any Democratic Party member’s words or actions simply to provide an opposition. If a Democrat claimed that the earth is round, she would say it is not. If a Democrat said he had dinner in the evening, she would say that it was consumed in the morning. Her tactic is quite reminiscent of the “bridge to nowhere” situation when she said “thanks” before saying “thanks, but no thanks”.

It is not surprising however, that the former half-term ex-quitting Governor of Alaska only utilizes the sophomoric forms of communication known as Twitter and Facebook and the comfy confines of Fox News to distribute her anti-Democrat invectives. After all, the entire nation witnessed her inability to handle interviews with unscripted questions during the 2008 campaign when she was publicly humiliated by her inability to field questions from Katie Couric and Charles Gibson. perhaps Alan Grayson said it best however, in his retort to the Queen of Quit,

“What is it about Sarah Palin and Twitter? Is Palin fond of tweeting because she can draft a tweet on her palm? Is it that 140 characters represents the maximum length of Sarah Palin’s attention span?”

Way to go, Alan. Let her have it with both barrels.

Finally, you must ask yourself, “why is Sarah Palin such a big fan of Facebook”? After all, the medium was the invention of one of those elitist Ivy League students hailing from the elitist of elite East Coast Ivy League institutions known as Harvard? Then again, the uninformed Palin is probably not aware of that.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Things We Said Today song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwokRK8P6D4&feature=related

THINGS SHE SAID TODAY

(sung to the Beatles song “Things We Said Today”)

Thinking of Sarah P.
Up there in the snow
Thinking she’s “mavericky”
Little does she know

Somedays when I’m lonely
Pining for old Tina Fey
Then I will remember
Things she said today

She’s not a refined girl
Disgraced in prime time
And she’s not a kind girl
She wallows in the slime

Her words have no meaning
But she sure has a lot to say
It’s fun to remember
Things she said today

She has such a simple mind
With nothing to say that isn’t fluff
Nonetheless she is inclined
To just have her way by talking tough

Yet she’s a blind girl
She’s a phony one
Despised and maligned girl
She will soon be gone

Ego that needs weaning
Lacking in the skill of word play
She cannot remember
Things she said today

She had lots of books to sign
What were her supporters thinking of?
Did they feel left behind
When she went away and had enough

Of being kind, girl
She said she was done
Let them wait in line girl
Take your cash and run

Someday when she’s scheming
Hand in glove of her next pay-day
Will Palin remember
Things she said today?

Palin’s Primative Punditry Provokes President

Palin is "over her head"

Sarah Palin suffered a dose of “right back at ya” prescribed by the Democratic National Committee this week. CNN reports that the former Republican vice presidential hopeful (and potential 2012 presidential hopeful) is not letting up in her constant drumbeat of criticism directed about President Obama. But the Democrats, in turn, called her out as well.

After saying Sunday that Arizona’s female Republican governor has more “cojones” than Obama when it comes to immigration and border security, Palin suggested Wednesday night that the 44th president is still trying to figure out his governing philosophy.

Asked about her ongoing narrative that Obama is too weak when it comes to issues like national security and immigration, Palin shared her insights on Fox News Channel (where else?) about why she believes Obama is not doing more to secure the borders. She said,

I think he’s quite complacent, and I think he’s in over his head. And I think he has poor advisers around him. And I think he’s really in flux kind of when it comes to what his governing philosophy actually is. Some of this though is a result of he not having much experience and then a complicit media and maybe some voters who chose to not to allow him to be vetted very closely. It’s a combination of things that’s resulting in a president who’s not taking a strong stand on those things that are the will of the people. Obviously, the will of the people is to enforce the laws that we have on the books.

Think about that quote for a moment. Sarah Palin, the half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska and current reality television series host believes that President Obama is “in over his head” and was not “vetted very closely”. This, coming from a failed politician who cannot speak in public without resorting to palm printed crib notes. This, coming from an undereducated former candidate who was incapable of coherently answering questions of policy posed by Katie Couric, Charles Gibson or even Fox friendly Bill O’Reilly. If anyone was ever over their head or not vetted properly it was Sarah Palin and the Democrats are now telling the American people. In a response statement e-mailed to CNN, the DNC wrote,

While former half-term governor Palin is certainly an expert in not being vetted, we put our trust in the judgment of the American people who rejected not only the broken policies she and Republicans continue to call for, but also this very kind of childish politics she continues to engage in. What’s been fully vetted and thoroughly rejected by the American people is the failed approach in tone and substance offered by Sarah Palin and her ilk.

Ouch! Take that, Sarah Palin!

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Over My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDx-YAjpa9E

I’M OVER MY HEAD II

(sung to the Fleetwood Mac song “Over My Head”)

They say DC is paradise
Before going there, I better think twice
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Nothing to say when I take that mike
I’m just a clown and yet they just might, think I’m crazy,
It’s such a plight

My thoughts are like a ferris wheel
They’re spinning all the time
Sometimes I can’t help but feel
That I’m losing all of my mind

Over my head Mmmm …

I hope I don’t just grunt and squeal
Perhaps I better mime
Why did I accept this deal
For a measly couple of dimes

They’ll be staring at my backside
I will be losing all of my pride
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Sarah Palin Has Dirty Oil On Her Hands But Not On Her Conscience

Silence is golden. If only we could get a little of that from Sarah Palin. You would think that the educationally challenged former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska would realize that in light of the recent Gulf Coast oil rig disaster, now is not the time to extol the benefits of more off-shore oil drilling. Then again, you would also think that an interview blowing, turkey head grinding, “death panel” lying, crib note relying, logic defying, Tea-Bagger buying, spotlight eyeing narcissist would not be capable of maintaining the interest of the “lamestream” media. Ah, but such is apparently not the case.

Last Friday Palin took to her Facebook page to “pipe-in” on the recent disaster while demanding more drilling immediately and without any preliminary study on the feasibility of making the practice more safe not only for the environment but for the men and women that work on those rigs. Remember, eleven people lost their lives as the result of corporate malfeasance. Palin said,

Alaskans understand the tragedy of an oil spill, and we’ve taken steps to do all we can to prevent another Exxon tragedy, but we are still pro-development.
[...]
I repeat the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard for the tragic consequences of oil spills – my family and my state and I know firsthand those consequences.

Wait a minute. If she repeats the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard, then what is her reasoning? Sarah would you please expound on that a little? We await your incomprehensible response with baited breath.

Oh, yippee! She spoke again on Saturday in Missouri before a bunch of Republicans. Inasmuch as Missouri is the “Show Me” state, we are sure that Ms. Quittypants would feel compelled to show the audience some facts to support what she is talking about, right?

Not so fast. Palin deemed the oil spill to be “very tragic”, but she then told her audience,… ready for this? “I want our country to be able to trust the oil industry”. Trust the oil industry? Perhaps we should trust Halliburton, Blackwater and Goldman Sachs too. Did the Exxon-Valdez disaster in her own backyard not teach the brain-dead corporate lackey a little something about the type of trust that can placed on oil companies?

Sarah Palin is simply as stupid as stupid comes.

EXTRA

Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their thrilling Game 2 victory over the Philadelphia Flyers last night by a score of 3-2. The Bruins now lead the series 2 games to none with the series shifting to Philadelphia tomorrow for the next two games, ‘Here we go, Bruins, here we go!”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Life In The Fast Lane song link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3sg5y_the-eagles-life-in-the-fast-lane-he_music

PIPE IN THE GASOLINE

(sung to the Eagles song “Life In The Fast Lane”)

Todd was a school dropout man, he was brain dead and then some
And Sarah was not really witty
They both hooked up and thought they looked so handsome
In the heart of Wasilla city
She had a nasty reputation and he was “First Dude”
The Palins were ruthless when it came to crude
They had one thing in common
With old Uncle Jed
She said, “Drill Baby Drill”
Till Mother Nature’s dead

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline

Are you with me so far?

The plan needed action, so said the dame
A bigger attraction than old John McCain
She called on Joe The Plumber
But she needed more pull
So she called on Joe Sixpack
Did the lipsticked pitbull
Those pipe-lines on the landscape, could seal her fate
So long as she had her cronies spreading politics of hate
The Palin fan base is not very bright
They are all old, straight and male and all of them are white, don’t doubt it

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

(musical interlude)

Drilling and boring, blinded by thirst
She couldn’t handle Gibson
Katie Couric was worse
She said, listen people, don’t you know I’m “mavericky”?
I can see Russia from my house, even Tina Fey agrees
Mac said, call Rush Limbaugh, I think we’re gonna crash
The polls are heading downward and we need some instant cash
They were lookin’ for some leeway
The election was lost
She didn’t care there was oil ‘neath that permafrost, so it was

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline

Sarah Palin: A Holiday History

The Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

It is interesting to note how Sarah Palin supporters and detractors seem to exist in two distinct parallel universes. Each group witnesses Palin’s actions and words, is advised of her education and credentials, and views the same media coverage of the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. Yet, the detractors (who live in the universe of factual reality) see a minimally educated, honesty deprived, science denying, religiously intolerant, backstabbing, anti-feminist, incoherent, hate speaking, chickenhawk, job quitting, unemployed social networker. The supporters (who live in the universe of unicorns and myth) see something completely different. They see Sarah Palin as a country loving, tell it like it is, mavericky, God fearing, troop honoring, motherly, Joe Sixpack, one of us, forever victimized, de-facto President of the United States.

A fine example of this difference of opinion regarding Caribou Barbie was aired last week on NPR (National Public Radio) in a segment wherein mothers discussed their impressions of Sarah Palin’s ghostwritten fiction titled, Going Rogue. Thereafter on December 9, 2009, U.S. News and World Reports Letters and Comments section featured a number of entries from a cross-section of listeners of the NPR program. It is astounding to read how completely differently the Palin supporters and detractors view the book. As usual however, the detractors corroborate their negative assessments with facts and logical argument while the supporters refrain from factual argument and instead concentrate on their perceived feelings about Palin’s character, patriotism and victim status. Here are the published letters:

The book is a pretty quick read—interesting when it comes to Sarah’s personal life, but snotty the way she comments about the journalists and the campaign people ["Mothers Discuss Sarah Palin's 'Going Rogue' on NPR," usnews.com]. I kept waiting for some kind of “a-ha” moment, where she learned something about herself or why she really decided to follow a certain path, but the book was mostly about how she’s just better than the people she doesn’t like and how they’re just plain jealous or mean or both. She’s vain, petty, and rationalizes a lot. I didn’t care much for her as a politician before the book—too inexperienced, in my opinion, and too reliant on her charm instead of her intelligence. I like her even less now after having read the book. She reminds me of the popular cheerleader in high school who suddenly finds herself a small fish in a big pond when she goes to college and can’t believe she’s not as important or as talented as she always thought she was.

Comment by Katie Van Winkle of ME

I am reading Sarah’s book, and I can’t figure out why so many people hate her. Let’s see, she loves Alaska and America with all her heart. She worked to pay her college tuition and she has always been very hard-working. She has always been frugal. She became a real Christian when she was a young teen. She loves her kids and she chose to have her Down’s syndrome child. She had Democrats, Republicans, and independents on her staff as governor, and she is not rigid and intolerant like Obama’s side claims. She can have civil discussions with people who hold opposing views. The more I read, the more I admire her. I work with people who hate her and can’t talk about her without using abusive language. It makes me sick. The media has spread so many lies about her. I think she’s awesome.

Comment by Susan H. of MN

I listened to the discussion on NPR. I didn’t understand why none of the participants pointed out that Palin presents herself as a bold, no-nonsense, tell-it-like-she-see’s-it regular gal, but she spends a good portion of the book blaming others for her inability to stand up for what she knew to be right during the campaign, from her unsuccessful interviews to the expensive designer clothes. You can’t claim to be feisty and submissively follow orders at the same time. One of the participants said she really thought Palin was a feminist at heart, but how does her unwillingness to take responsibility for her choices or her decision to quit her job as governor help other women to be taken seriously? Finally, I was frustrated to hear one participant say that she really admired and identified with Palin’s view of motherhood. I am a mother and I would never make many of the choices she has made regarding her children: from announcing her young daughter’s pregnancy to the world to parading her special needs toddler around with her on her book signing tour. Perhaps these topics were discussed, but not aired. Ultimately, I came away baffled again, by how Sarah Palin can contradict herself over and over again and still be seen as appealing and honest.

Comment by Pat of MD

Several people have noted that there is a lot of hatred for Palin. They’re right, of course. I don’t know why people feel so strongly about her, and I don’t particularly care. The bottom line is that she has yet to posit a coherent—much less worthwhile—set of policy objectives. Until she does (and I’m not holding my breath), her admirers will continue to admire her for her personal traits and the slogans she throws around so loosely, and her detractors will continue to seize on her more boneheaded statements and construct straw man (straw woman?) arguments accordingly. It doesn’t say much for the state of our political discourse.

Comment by Todd of PA

Lynnrockets’ favorite portion of the above letters appears in the second letter where Susan H. of MN complements Palin because, she “worked to pay her college tuition” and “She has always been frugal.” Since when does working to pay tuition (as most everyone does) somehow qualify a person to be Vice president or God forbid, President of the United States? As for being “frugal”, has Susan not read about the $ 4,000.00 per hour luxury jet or seen the photos of the Palin’s newly constructed Wasilla compound aptly named, “Shangralaska”? There truly are two distinct parallel universes.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

We Three Kings Of The Orient song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOsnNr1-smA

DING-A-LINGS

(Sung to the Christmas song “We Three Kings of the Orient”)

This is a Sarah Palin song
Which explores how things went so wrong
From blood relations through nomination
Her fall  was worse than King Kong’s

Oh, Todd “The First Dude’s”  G. E. D.
Sarah’s unwed pregnancy
Todd’s drunk driving, Sarah’s conniving
Sarah’s safety-school college degree

She was mayor of Wasilla
Todd a part-time oil field driller
Increased teen meth-amphet-amine
Not a community pillar

Oh, the governor she did become
A “Bridge to Nowhere” plans begun
Then, “Thanks But No Thanks” ; budget dough pranks
Double talk from “Hockey Mom”

John McCain needed a V.P.
Someone that was darn ”mavericky”
Up to Alaska, he went to ask her
Now the world knew Sarah P.

Oh, she dazzled all with blinks and winks
Dropping pucks at hockey rinks
Substance was nil; “Drill Ba-by Drill”
These were her campaign hi-jinks

She had sev’ral bad interviews
Charles and Katie had her confused
Mumbling, sighing, nearly crying
This was not fawning Fox News

Oh, Sarah needed her Mo-Jo back
She was killing Johnny Mack
To stop this cancer, she found the answer
“Joe the Plumber” and “Joe Sixpack”

Alas, her plan did not save the day
She was upstaged by Tina Fey
Voter rejection, lost the election
Obama won going away

Oh, Sarah became a door-mat
Returned to her habitat
Someone new in 2-0-1-2
Now she shills for “Arctic Cat”

Sarah Palin: The Irrelevant Elephant

Palin shills for "Arctic Cat".

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off‘s Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies kicks off today. Please enjoy.

In light of the media frenzy that has surrounded Sarah Palin since her selection in September 2008 as the Republican nominee for Vice President, it is easy to forget that she was second on the ticket. Although prior to her selection she was virtually unknown to most Americans, it would be difficult now to find someone that has not heard of her (then again, many do wish that was the case). The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska has sought and found the public spotlight on numerous occasions since losing the Presidential election. Whether it was her abrupt quitting as governor complete with an incomprehensible resignation speech, feuding with David Letterman, fuming about non-existent death panels, feuding with her once and future son-in-law Levi Johnston or conducting a book-hawking bus tour by means of luxury jet, Palin has been omnipresent. As Palin increasingly becomes the visage of the Republican Party the G.O.P.’s elephant mascot has become irrelevant.

The same may also be true of Palin herself, however. Her former running-mate sees little to no positive effect of the Palin-Factor. In fact, John McCain has deemed Sarah Palin to be irrelevant. While appearing as a guest on Meet The Press last Sunday, McCain said,

“I’m entertained every time I see people attack her and attack her and attack her — she’s irrelevant but they continue to attack her.”

Ouch, we bet Sarah could feel the sting of those words all the way out in Minnesota’s Mall of America. Not exactly the type of Christmas present she was expecting from her old pal, but perhaps she should have been a bit more diplomatic when discussing McCain’s campaign staff in her ghost-written work of fiction. Sarah Palin has now learned the hard way, that what goes around, comes around.

As an aside, today is a big election day in Massachusetts. The special primary election to fill Edward M. Kennedy’s U.S. Senate seat dominates the day’s news. The Democratic Party primary consists of the following four candidates; Mike Capuano (current member U.S, House of Representatives), Martha Coakley (current Massachusetts Attorney General), Steve Pagliuca (co-owner of the NBA’s Boston Celtics) and Alan Khazei (founder of an AmeriCorps organization known as City year). Although all four candidates profess to having a progressive/liberal agenda, Lynnrocket’s Blast-Off endorses Mike Capuano because he has already put his money where his mouth is. While sitting as a U.S. Representative, he voted against both the Patriot Act and the Iraq War when few others had the courage to oppose the Bush regime.

State Senator Scott Brown will be the Republican candidate in the general election. This being Massachusetts however, he has absolutely no chance of winning the senate seat. The general election will take place on January 19, 2010. Stay tuned.

Finally, we would like to congratulate the Green Bay Packers for their victory over the Baltimore ravens last night. The Packers record has improved to 8 – 4, and they presently hold a wildcard playoff berth. is the Pack back? Let’s hope so.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune (if you live on Mars) and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Frosty The Snowman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGDi8TqqeX8&feature=related

SARAH THE SNOWGAL

(sung to the Christmas song “Frosty the Snowman”)

Sarah the snowgal was a lipsticked hockey mom
With a beehive ‘do and a “wink, wink” too
A U. of Idaho alum

Sarah the snowgal was enticed by Johnny Mack
To be his V.P., she was “mavericky”
And was liked by “Joe Sixpack”

The first mistake she made was to agree to interviews
For when she tried to speak aloud
She was just so damn confused

Oh, Sarah the snowgal couldn’t be any dumber
She’s a babbling brook, couldn’t name a book
Like her pal “Joe the Plumber”

Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak,
Look at her glazed stare
Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak,
Her head’s full of air

Sarah the snowgal was almost a pageant queen
But her parenting skill was darn near nil
So, an unwed pregnant teen

Things spiraled downward right up to election day
“Politics of Hate” and then “Troopergate”
Not to mention Tina Fey

The election did not go well, it ended in defeat
Levi’s mom was busted too
She was dealing Oxy-C

Poor Sarah the snowgal now has no-one to wink at
She will run again, but until then
She is owned by Arctic Cat

Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak.
All she does is gripe
Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak,
It’s media hype

Sarah Palin Faces The Truth Squad

Great comic from the Chattanooga Times Free Press

Sarah Palin’s ghostwritten memoir  officially crawls out from its dark, moldy underground tunnel and presents itself to the masses today. The work of fiction however, has already been released in advance to certain members of the media and from there its contents have leaked almost everywhere. What have we learned thus far? Well, it appears that most objective reviewers and many of those folks written about in the book believe it to be filled with much more fiction than fact.

For instance, John McCain’s former campaign manager, Steve Schmidt has labeled the book, “total fiction.” Another McCain campaign aide said, “The book fully reveals her. Dishonest, small and petty.” Ouch!!! That same aide told Politics Daily,

“It’s like, ‘What’s she so angry about?’ She was picked to be vice president of the United States. She had an exceptional opportunity. Everything is someone else’s fault. There’s no accountability. It’s mean-spirited. But if you look at the record, it is what it is.”

The Associated Press has gone so far as to publish a researched fact check of claims made by the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska and it is not flattering. Here are some excerpts,

___

PALIN: Says she made frugality a point when traveling on state business as Alaska governor, asking “only” for reasonably priced rooms and not “often” going for the “high-end, robe-and-slippers” hotels.

THE FACTS: Although travel records indicate she usually opted for less-pricey hotels while governor, Palin and daughter Bristol stayed five days and four nights at the $707.29-per-night Essex House luxury hotel (robes and slippers come standard) overlooking New York City’s Central Park for a five-hour women’s leadership conference in October 2007. With air fare, the cost to Alaska was well over $3,000. Event organizers said Palin asked if she could bring her daughter. The governor billed her state more than $20,000 for her children’s travel, including to events where they had not been invited, and in some cases later amended expense reports to specify that they had been on official business.

___

PALIN: Boasts that she ran her campaign for governor on small donations, mostly from first-time givers, and turned back large checks from big donors if her campaign perceived a conflict of interest.

THE FACTS: Of the roughly $1.3 million she raised for her primary and general election campaigns for governor, more than half came from people and political action committees giving at least $500, according to an AP analysis of her campaign finance reports. The maximum that individual donors could give was $1,000; $2,000 for a PAC.

Of the rest, about $76,000 came from Republican Party committees.

She accepted $1,000 each from a state senator and his wife in the weeks after the two Republican lawmakers’ offices were raided by the FBI as part of an investigation into a powerful Alaska oilfield services company. After AP reported those donations during the presidential campaign, she said she would give a comparative sum to charity after the general election in 2010, a date set by state election laws.

___

PALIN: Rails against taxpayer-financed bailouts, which she attributes to Obama. She recounts telling daughter Bristol that to succeed in business, “you’ll have to be brave enough to fail.”

THE FACTS: Palin is blurring the lines between Obama’s stimulus plan — a $787 billion package of tax cuts, state aid, social programs and government contracts — and the federal bailout that Republican presidential candidate John McCain voted for and President George W. Bush signed.

Palin’s views on bailouts appeared to evolve as McCain’s vice presidential running mate. In September 2008, she said “taxpayers cannot be looked to as the bailout, as the solution, to the problems on Wall Street.” A week later, she said “ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy.”

During the vice presidential debate in October, Palin praised McCain for being “instrumental in bringing folks together” to pass the $700 billion bailout. After that, she said “it is a time of crisis and government did have to step in.”

___

PALIN: Says Ronald Reagan faced an even worse recession than the one that appears to be ending now, and “showed us how to get out of one. If you want real job growth, cut capital gains taxes and slay the death tax once and for all.”

THE FACTS: The estate tax, which some call the death tax, was not repealed under Reagan and capital gains taxes are lower now than when Reagan was president.

Economists overwhelmingly say the current recession is far worse. The recession Reagan faced lasted for 16 months; this one is in its 23rd month. The recession of the early 1980s did not have a financial meltdown. Unemployment peaked at 10.8 percent, worse than the October 2009 high of 10.2 percent, but the jobless rate is still expected to climb.

___

PALIN: Criticizes an aide to her predecessor, Gov. Frank Murkowski, for a conflict of interest because the aide represented the state in negotiations over a gas pipeline and then left to work as a handsomely paid lobbyist for ExxonMobil. Palin asserts her administration ended all such arrangements, shoving a wedge in the revolving door between special interests and the state capital.

THE FACTS: Palin ignores her own “revolving door” issue in office; the leader of her own pipeline team was a former lobbyist for a subsidiary of TransCanada, the company that ended up winning the rights to build the pipeline.

___

PALIN: Writes about a city councilman in Wasilla, Alaska, who owned a garbage truck company and tried to push through an ordinance requiring residents of new subdivisions to pay for trash removal instead of taking it to the dump for free — this to illustrate conflicts of interest she stood against as a public servant.

THE FACTS: As Wasilla mayor, Palin pressed for a special zoning exception so she could sell her family’s $327,000 house, then did not keep a promise to remove a potential fire hazard on the property.

She asked the city council to loosen rules for snow machine races when she and her husband owned a snow machine store, and cast a tie-breaking vote to exempt taxes on aircraft when her father-in-law owned one. But she stepped away from the table in 1997 when the council considered a grant for the Iron Dog snow machine race in which her husband competes.

___

PALIN: Welcomes last year’s Supreme Court decision deciding punitive damages for victims of the nation’s largest oil spill tragedy, the Exxon Valdez disaster, stating it had taken 20 years to achieve victory. As governor, she says, she’d had the state argue in favor of the victims, and she says the court’s ruling went “in favor of the people.” Finally, she writes, Alaskans could recover some of their losses.

THE FACTS: That response is at odds with her reaction at the time to the ruling, which resolved the long-running case by reducing punitive damages for victims to $500 million from $2.5 billion. Environmentalists and plaintiffs’ lawyers decried the ruling as a slap at the victims and Palin herself said she was “extremely disappointed.” She said the justices had gutted a jury decision favoring higher damage awards, the Anchorage Daily News reported. “It’s tragic that so many Alaska fishermen and their families have had their lives put on hold waiting for this decision,” she said, noting many had died “while waiting for justice.”

___

PALIN: Describing her resistance to federal stimulus money, Palin describes Alaska as a practical, libertarian haven of independent Americans who don’t want “help” from government busybodies.

THE FACTS: Alaska is also one of the states most dependent on federal subsidies, receiving much more assistance from Washington than it pays in federal taxes. A study for the nonpartisan Tax Foundation found that in 2005, the state received $1.84 for every dollar it sent to Washington.

Perhaps the most biting comment of all however, was made by David Brooks on ABC‘s This Morning last Sunday. He was asked what he thought of Palin’s soon to be released book and he said, “She’s a joke. I just can’t take her seriously.” He then went on to say, “The idea that this potential talk show host is considered seriously for the Republican nomination, believe me, it will never happen. Republican primary voters are just not going to elect a talk show host.”

If the book is receiving this kind of negative criticism before its official release, how will it possibly hold up under widespread fact checking after others have had the opportunity to comb through its greasy contents? It appears evident that Palin’s autobiography is a work of fiction. If you are interested in being entertained by a more truthful account of the rise and fall of Caribou Barbie, please enjoy today’s song parody. remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her appointees ignored and her actions abhorred
She’s reduced to shilling for “Arctic Cat”

She gave Levi some lip about visiting Tripp
And Todd’s sister is facing some jailin’
But paternity laws might be the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin

Sarah Palin: The Book Tour Bore

Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.

Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.

Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is the epitome of “the gift that keeps on giving.” Just this week we learned that not only is she job hunting by means of posting her resume on LinkedIn, the Facebook for grown-ups, but now it has been revealed that she will appear for an interview with Oprah on the eve of the release of her ghostwritten pop-up memoir. Wow, where to begin?

Palin is either in such dire financial straits that she will do anything to get a new job and stir up some book sales, or she is a dim-witted glutton for punishment. Then again, those choices are not mutually exclusive. Inasmuch as yesterday’s post dealt with her new means of job search, today we will focus on the Oprah appearance.

First of all, does Palin think that Oprah Winfrey’s audience has any use for her feminist-belittling brand of politics? Her stance against equal pay for equal work in the workplace and her penchant for charging rape victims for rape kits is not likely to sit well with those women who adore the female empowering posture of Oprah. Then there is Oprah Winfrey herself. It was Winfrey’s fierce opposition to the McCain/Palin ticket that triggered her first ever public endorsement for the Presidency, and it was not for the duo of Old and Dumb. We can only hope that prior to the interview Oprah gets an English translation of Palin’s book so that she can do some fact checking in advance. When one considers how hilariously poor Palin performed in her interviews with Gibson and Couric last Fall, we can only hope that the Oprah interview produces more of the same. How familiar can Palin be with the content of a book about herself that she did not author. It will not be Frost/Nixon, but this could be one interview for the ages if Winfrey plays it tough. Keep your fingers crossed.

In the meantime, let’s have some fun with a song parody directed at the Oprah/Palin interview.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

OPRAH’S-CABANA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah,
In search of dough girl
She had a beehive in her hair and stinging rhetoric to spare
She hated questions which she coined “Gotcha”
But she wanted to be a star,
On TeeVee while with Oprah
She feared becoming poor
So she had a book tour
She’d do this show and then another
And so many more

She’s on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She would be a star just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She lacked compassion but had stewardess fashion
And with Oprah…she’d find some love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

Her name was Oprah,
She shined like diamonds
While in that interviewer’s chair, she would give Palin a scare
And when she skewered that Holy Roller
It would be Palin’s au revoir
That interview will leave a scar
Then Sarah you know who,
Will blame Oprah’s stage crew
Her winking eyes will be all bloodshot
She will cry, “Boo-Hoo”

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She looked like a chimp with banana
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She had a passion for air hostess fashion
But with Oprah…she got no love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

(Oprah  Oprah-Cabana) (Oprah-Cabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Oprah Oprah-Cabana)
(Sarah P.,  rhymes with Hannity)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Palin,
She was a Guv’nor
But that was several months ago before she “went with the flow”
Now she’s a bimbo and she is failin’
A lip-sticked pig beyond compare
And with enemies to spare
She was a star that shined
But only with her kind
She was uncouth and she was a phony
Before she resigned

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
A fading starlet just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She took a thrashin’ while her teeth were gnashin’
And with Oprah…she got no love

(Oprah) That’s our failed Guv
Oprah’s-Cabana
Oprah’s-Cabana
(Fade to end)

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