Blog Archives

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 41

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “People In Glass Houses…” features California’s Republican nominee for US Senate Carly Fiorina. While preparing for a television news interview, the woman that drove Hewlett Packard into the ground before being fired said this about incumbent Democratic Party Senator Barbara Boxer whilst unaware that her microphone was live, “God, what is that hair? Soooo yesterday”. Such an insult coming from a woman that would be more aptly named Carly Purina.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Tea Party Hardy” features Tea Party candidate for Senate in Nevada, Sharron Angle. If you are unaware of Angle’s proposals, get a drink, sit down and get a load of these:

  • Bring more nuclear waste to Nevada.
  • Deregulate Big Oil; BP spill was only “an accident.”
  • Abolish the Education Department, Energy Department, EPA, United Nations and most of the IRS.
  • Eliminate Social Security — possibly Medicare and unemployment insurance too.
  • Outlaw alcohol.

That being said, let’s all congratulate Democrat Harry Reid on his re-election as Nevada Senator.

BREAKING NEWS: This week the racist, uneducated, drug addicted philanderer Rush Limbaugh was married for a fourth time. ‘Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN: U.S. government regulators warned in 2000 about the myriad problems that could be caused by a deepwater oil spill. But the George W. Bush administration ignored such warnings and issued an executive order in May 2001 that pushed to speed up the search for oil.  McLatchy reports,

A decade ago, U.S. government regulators warned that a major deepwater oil spill could start with a fire on a drilling rig, prove hard to stop and cause extensive damage to fish eggs and wetlands because there were few good ways to capture oil underwater, however, President George W. Bush ushered in the new era with an executive order on May 18, 2001, that pushed his new administration to speed up the search for oil.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Keep That Boycott Going” features Hall & Oates. The musical duo have canceled their July 2, 2010 concert in Arizona to protest the new racist Arizona immigration law. Other artists who have joined the Arizon boycott thus far include Cypress Hill, Pitbull, Rage Against the Machine, Kanye West, Sonic Youth, Carlos Santana, Willie Nelson, Joe Satriani, Tenacious D, Shakira and Massive Attack.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Conservatives Eating Their Young” features both Rush Limbaugh and Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly. In a new biography on sale Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh calls fellow conservative talk show host Bill O’Reilly a “Ted Baxter” — after the fictional character on the “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” who was portrayed as a vain, shallow, buffoonish TV newsman. Now that is insulting. Insulting to Ted Baxter, that is.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Facts Don’t Lie” features the ten states with the lowest percentage of college graduates according to The Chronicle of Higher Education. Drumroll please. Arkansas, West Virginia, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Alaska, Arizona, Texas, Tennessee and Mississippi. This is clear evidence of a red state brain drain. In contrast, the areas with the highest percentage of college graduates are Washington D.C., Massachusetts and North Dakota, Michigan, New York, New Jersey and Maryland. Hey, what is North Dakota doing on that list?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Companies Deserving of a Consumer Boycott” features these BP brands: ARAL, ARCO, Castrol, ampm and Wild Bean Cafe. Now get to it!

BREAKING NEWS: You didn’t think that the Blast-Off would miss an opportunity to comment on Sarah Palin and the “the girls”, did you? Why, how in the world could we fail to mention the brouhaha surrounding Sarah’s majestic Denali and Redoubt? But where in the world will Palin flee to seek medical attention if one of those peaks becomes active, springs a leak and erupts? Let’s answer that question with today’s song parody!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Volcano song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjGHwGkFIFw&feature=related

VOLCANO

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Volcano”)

(Chorus)
Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Let me say now,

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

She wanted her boobs to grow
So she spent a lot of dough
If the peak begins to quake
Sarah P. will leave the state

Let me hear ya now

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Now Sarah girl she said to T.
Take me to New York City
I’m not looking quite so hot
My silicone is down one quart

Let me say now, I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Mr. Wooten!
(musical interlude)

Just what are those balloons worth?
Bigger than when she gave birth
What is next for Grizzly Mom?
She’s having work done on her bum

Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

One more now, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know (she don’t know mon)
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

She might want to land
In Rapid City
Might want to land
In Buffalo (ho ho ho)
Don’t want to land on no
Three mile Island
Don’t want to see her boobies glow (no no no)

Might want to land in
Indianapolis
Or in Nashville, Tennessee (ho ho ho)
Don’t want to land in
Massachusetts
Or in Putin’s territory (no no no)

Might want to land
In San Diego
Might want to land
In Miami (ho ho ho)
But the place that she wants so dearly
Is Ol’ Washington DC

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Just one more, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know
(she don’t know, man)
I don’t know where Sarah gonna go
When her volcano blow!

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Sarah Palin Faces Fantastic Facebook Fan Fallout

As we mentioned in Monday’s post, Sarah Palin is feeling the heat from her Facebook fans over her recent endorsements of John McCain and Carly Fiorina. You see, most of Palin’s followers are of the rabid Tea-Bagger ilk as a consequence of the former ex-quitting Alaska governor’s self proclaimed uber-right-wing conservative political stance and her multiple appearances at Tea Party rallies. Her recent endorsements of McCain and Fiorina however,  have angered her supporters because they heartily endorse each of those candidate’s far more conservative Tea Party approved opponents. Indeed, they elected to voice their dissatisfaction with the educationally challenged Palin via her own Facebook page. Let’s take a look at some of their comments (editor’s note: all spelling and punctuation has been left intact for full Tea-Bagger effect)…

“The only REAL CONSERVATIVE is Chuck DeVore. Fiorina is a RINO and we don’t need any more of those in [California]. Why wouldn’t you back Chuck DeVore???”

“I don’t agree with this endorsement AT ALL! What are you thinking, Sarah?”

“wait a minute, you just asked us to support a Republican whose values we don’t really understand, and if we do understand them correctly, we don’t agree with. What’s going on here?”

“That’s 2 strikes against you, little sister! One more and you’re done. You’re participating in the kind of political payback that us conservatives hate.”

“I too am very disappointed in this endorsement. DeVore is a much better choice. I didn’t understand McCain but figured she was obligated. Now I just don’t trust her judgment at all.”

“Sarah, I am a huge fan of yours. I can forgive you for backing McCain, but..Carly Fiorino is no friend of yours. She didn’t support you when the MSM was attacking. Please rethink your position and support Chuck Devore. Jim DeMint is behind him, the Tea Party Express supports him and you should too.”

“We total understood why she endorsed McCain over J.D. Hayward (and secretly felt that she would be relieved when Hayward beat mcCain and then headed for a strong chance to win in the General Election), but Palin’s endorsement of Fiorna will backfire.”

“Strike 2”

“Bottom line is that this is yet another endorsement for a non-grassroots candidate, and she’s going to take another significant hit to her credibility with her base in exchange for picking a winner,”

“My first thought when I heard about the endorsement was, wow, I guess she doesn’t plan to run in 2012,”


In all, nearly half of the approximately 1800 comments expressed disappointment with the educationally challenged Palin’s endorsements. Sarah Palin has now successfully alienated another segment of this “great nation of ours”. Heck of a job, Sarah! Keep up the good work!
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Rockin’ Robin song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2RPWZ6qKc&feature=related

ROCKIN’ PALIN

(sung to the Jackson 5 song “Rockin’ Robin”)

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Every little message, every cryptic thing
Every little word from the ding-a-ling
She threw in the towel, it’s time to go
Flappin’ her lips every so and so

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

(musical interlude)

Petty little Palin that we just can’t stand
Tells her SarahPAC ers to fork out ten grand
She flirted with the devil and lost her soul
Payin’ legal bills through Kristan Cole

She sucks like a freeze pop all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Pretty little Palin just can’t understand
No one likes a beggar holding out her hand
Finding new employment is her next big goal
Her next job is with a stage-mounted pole

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet


Palin’s Daffy Doubletalk Dismays Devotees

If you're crazy and you know it, clap your hands...

As we have long surmised, all you had to do was give Sarah Palin enough rope and eventually she would hang herself. The metaphorical rope in this instance is the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska’s own lengthy trail of words. Despite the fact much of what Palin says is an indecipherable jumble of mispronounced words and colloquial down-home catchphrases, she has now managed to contradict herself and counter conservative measures so often that she has lost support not only among the moonbat crazy Tea-Bagger crowd, but also amongst Republicans as a whole.

This news has even become apparent across the pond as they say. The UK Telegraph reports that more Alaskans than not think the presidency should not form the next chapter of Palin’s extraordinary story, while 45 per cent gave her a negative personal rating. It also points out that Tea Party supporters, her most ardent fans, showed that a majority wouldn’t vote for her if she ran for president in 2012. Further, the British paper states,

It is not just that the faithful are beginning to question her readiness for the White House. It is not just that they have doubts about a would-be president who wants all her questions pre-screened, who needs to scribble her talking points on her palm and whose favourite modes of communication are those of a 15-year-old, namely Twitter and Facebook. What is troubling Right-wingers is whether their great moose-hunting hope may not be the conservative real deal after all.

The paper goes on to say that,

Dissent is most evident among Palin’s 1.5 million Facebook friends, who have revolted against her decision to endorse Carly Fiorina, the controversial former Hewlett Packard executive, in a California Republican senate primary over the Tea Party favourite, Chuck DeVore. For some, Palin’s choice compounded her recent endorsement of McCain in his Arizona senate primary election battle against a more Right-wing candidate.

The suspicion is that Palin  didn’t do her homework on Fiorina – who favours a “cap and trade” energy reform bill and is considered insufficiently robust against abortion.

It would appear that Palin’s supporters are just now picking up on her contradictions and her penchant for opportunism that her critics have seen since she first appeared on the political scene.

The Telegraph contends for instance,

Palin decries federal government spending but as a state governor lapped it up (as almost all of them do). She attacked “big government” healthcare reform but accepts free care for her grandson, an entitlement received only because her husband Todd is one quarter native Alaskan.

Next it points out,

A supposed warrior against political correctness, she upbraided Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff, for using the word “retard” as an insult, saying it was deeply offensive to her and Trig, her Down’s Syndrome son. Indeed it may have been. But when Rush Limbaugh, the talk radio supremo whom no Republican dares contradict, then committed the same offence, she remained silent.

And,

An ostensibly staunch defender of the US constitution, Palin last week said that US law should be based on “the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments”. In doing so she completely ignored, or was ignorant of, the fact that the very aim of the founding fathers was to separate church and state, from that very British tyranny. As the first amendment states: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Those “unalienable rights” in the Declaration of Independence that Palin holds so dear were endowed by the “Creator”, not a God of a particular church or faith.

We should also point out that while pretending to be the hockey mom and/or hardworking “Sixpack Joanne” like so many of her devotees, Sarah Palin has actually been virtually unemployed yet earned more than 12 million dollars since last year. Presently, her lifestyle far more closely resembles that of the East Coast elite that she pretends to so despise than it does the down-homey, small town, Middle American that “clings to his/her guns and religion”. Finally, and most vividly, she has not yet found a way to gracefully backtrack from “drill baby, drill” even in the face of the Gulf Coast disaster. Many of the governors of those coastal Red states that so fervently advocated more offshore drilling are now taking a sober second look. Palin, on the other hand, simply digs in the heels of her Naughty Monkeys. Quite simply, Sarah Palin will soon alienate herself right out of the atmosphere of the political party to which she belongs.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Everybody’s Talkin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HL4WRp_Qk

SARAH PALIN’S TALKIN’

(sung to the Harry Nilsson version of the song “Everybody’s Talkin”)

Sarah Palin’s talkin’ at me
Can’t understand a word she’s saying
She has a really troubled mind

People stopping, staring
Standing in their places
Palin’s just blinking both her eyes

Her brain is where the sun ain’t shining
Thinking is a strain
Like dead fish, she’s “goin’ with the flow”
Palin is just a bag of wind
Craving attention, please
She’s hoping that her supporters throw a bone

(musical interlude)

It’s no wonder that she’s been hiding
She might be insane
As for Prozac, she could use a dose
If she gives up then we all win
She could then strip-tease
And she could use that dancing pole as her throne

Sarah Palin’s talkin’ at me
Can’t hear a word she’s saying
Only the echoes of her whines

I just hope she’ll leave in double time

Oh, I just hope she le-ee-ee-eaves

I just hope she’ll leave in double time

Mother’s Day Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 36

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you that may be mothers. For the rest of you, please do something nice for your own mothers on her special day. You have no way of knowing how many more of these days you will have the opportunity to share together. Make the most of all of them.

OK, no more proselytizing. Let’s have some fun. Rather than the usual recap of newsworthy events from the last week, today’s post will provide a list of appropriate Mother’s Day gifts for a bunch of well known conservative women. Please feel free to add to the list in the comment section. Let’s roll…

Barbara Bush:  A “do over” regarding son George W.

Ann Coulter: A definitive male or female sexual status.

Carrie Jean Prejean:  A map of the United States.

Condoleezza Rice: A “Where’s Condi?” placemat.

Michelle Malkin:  Non-“Anchor-Baby” status.

Ohio Rep. Jean Schmidt:  An official “Birther” T-shirt.

Laura Bush: A Stepford Sister.

Conservative radio pundit Laura Ingraham: A more feminine voice.

Congressional candidate Carly Fiorina: An endorsement from Hewlett Packard directors and shareholders.

Greta Van Susteren:  A contestant’s spot on tv’s Extreme Makeover.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer:  An all expenses paid trip to Mexico.

Liz Cheney:  A chance to show her courage via a stint in the U.S. Army.

Michele Bachmann:  An unlimited prescription of Thorazine.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck:  Employment with Fox News.

Bristol Palin:  A time machine.

Sarah Palin: An English/Palin – Palin/ English dictionary.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9o8SUSy_tY

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 23

Just of few noteworthy news bits and comments thereon from this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: Those sneaky Republican candidates are playing dirty tricks on their brain-dead supporters once again. This time it is Carly Fiorina the senatorial candidate from California that is being less than honest. You remember Fiorina don’t you? She was the former CEO of Hewlett-Packard that was fired as the result of nearly running the company into the ground. Having had enough with the ups and downs of the private sector, this failed corporate exec has decided to run for public office and live off of her state taxpayers’ dime. CNN reports that last week she sent a mass email which falsely indicated thereon that it was personally written and sent from Fiorina’s personal Blackberry. The smoking gun was that the e-mail also had embedded links and a campaign FEC disclaimer inside a box; both functions are not available on a BlackBerry. Does Fiorina really believe that her supporters are stupid enough to believe that she personally sends all of them emails from her personal Blackberry? Then again, if they support Fiorina they must be stupid.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of liars, Ann Coulter was up to his old tricks again this week on the Fox network. While guesting on The Glenn Beck Show, he repeated the oft refuted lie that President Barack Obama attended madrassas as a child. This Coulter guy has got to come up with some new material if he wants to remain in the spotlight.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “This Is News But It Is No Surprise” features the “Turd Blossom” himself, Karl Rove. It was announced on December 29th that Rove is now divorced. Really, did anybody truly believe that this triple-chinned nerd was man enough to be anyone’s husband for long?

THIS JUST IN: Nutjob right-wing radio comedian Rush Limbaugh was “rushed” to Queen’s Medical Center in Hawaii last Wednesday after having suffered from severe chest pains. Fill in host Walter Williams said, “the chest pains Limbaugh experienced can be an indicator of a cardiac event, but the cause of his discomfort cannot be confirmed at this time.” A cardiac event? How can an uneducated, adulterous, drug addicted, racist, Viagra chewing windbag have a cardiac event? He has no heart.

BREAKING NEWS: The Political Carnival has posted this delicious email message sent by Team Sarah to its members regarding Rush Limbaugh‘s hospitalization. Please pay close attention to the spelling and grammar. You would think that Sarah Palin penned this message herself.

A message to all members of Team Sarah

Team,

I come to you this evening with serious news about a great American who needs our prayers.

Rush Limbaigh, champion of values such as life, liberty, and the free market, was rushed to the hospital in Hawaii this evening and, according to reports, may be in “serious” condition.

Appranetly, pramedics were called when Rush complained of chest pains and he has been taken to an area hospital.

Members of Team Sarah in the Rush Limbaugh Fans for Sarah Group are following this and you can visit their group to learn more or to offer your own thoughts.

May God be with Ruish Limbaugh and his friends and family, and at this critical hour when voices such as his are refreshing and badly needed, may God be with his fans and the nation.

May Rush recover quickly,

Bill Collier
Team sarah Governace

PS we will be monitering this story and will, hopefully, be sending you and update when we learn that Rush is recovering.

Oh, Bill please, please, please send us those updates. What better way to start the new year than with a few laughs?

THIS JUST IN: CNN has published the New Year’s resolutions of many Washington insiders but former Massachusetts governor, Mitt “Mittwit” Romney’s is the best:

I need to relax more. I’m going to start by loosening my tie before I got to bed.

BREAKING NEWS:  Rush Limbaugh has been discharged from the hospital and declares that the American health care system is terrific:

Again, the treatment I received here was the best that the world has to offer. And I — I — based on what happened to me, I don’t think there’s one thing wrong with the American health care system. It’s working just fine, just dandy.

And I got nothing special. I got no treatment other than what anybody else that would have called 911 and been brought in with the same kinds of symptoms. The care was extensive, it was personal, and it was complete, and it was very confidence-inspiring. And I never once I — once I got here had any fears, because of the manner in which I was treated.

Once again however, the uneducated, adulterous, drug addicted racist has missed the point entirely. The efforts at health care reform are not directed primarily at the quality of medical services, but rather at the private insurance industry’s system of limiting coverage and delivery of those services to millions of citizens. By the way, he was silent as to what his diagnosis was or what may have prompted those chest pains. Mysteriously, a Hawaiian television station’s website has been scrubbed of the initial statement that he was taking medication for his back. What type of medication? More on this story can be found at The Political Carnival here. Enquiring minds want to know.

Mockingbird song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOqD3uMIRs&feature=related

TALKING TURD

(sung to the Carly Simon/James Taylor song “Mockingbird”)

Talk (yeah) ing (yeah) turd (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Talking Turd

Now, everybody sure has heard
Rush Limbaugh the big fat talking turd
That loudmouth talking turd is king
Of all those racists in the right-wing
But those in the right-wing front line
Are busy planning for their next hate crime
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

Hear me now and understand
Rush lives only to hate and malign
And if ratings decline someday
Limbaugh will spread hate in another way
And if that other way makes dough
He’ll ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

(musical interlude)

Now, everyone should doubt his word
Rush Limbaugh is just a talking turd
And when that talking turd does sing
We can tell he’s just a ding-a-ling
And when that ding-a-ling just whines
Yes, Republicans will still think he shines
And there’s a reason why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Listen now and understand
Rush Limbaugh surely has lost his mind
And though he drugged his mind away
The right-wing nuts still listen everyday
Like Sarah Palin and that Plumber, Joe
He’s a dead fish that just “goes with the flow”
And that’s the reason why he keeps on spreadin’ all that fear
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now, baby


Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 11

coffee_or_tea_1

BREAKING NEWS:  Meg Whitman, the former CEO of Ebay and current Republican candidate for governor of California has seldom voted in any elections since 1979. Now there is an involved Republican for you. She appears to be just what California needs.

THIS JUST IN:  Sen. John McCain is co-hosting a fundraiser for his former 2008 Republican primary rival Mitt Romney next Wednesday in Phoenix. Hmm, wonder if he will be doing the same for Sarah Palin some day?

BREAKING NEWS:  Former Hewlett-Packard CEO, Carly Fiorina (R) plans to announce her candidacy for senator of California. CNN reports however, that her website leaves a lot to be desired. “It’s the most singularly awful political website I have ever seen, and I am including all the old, basic HTML websites that were the rage 10 years ago,” conservative blogger John Hawkins of the site RightWingNews.com said in an e-mail to CNN. “Why not toss in G.I. Joe vs. Cobra, Ninjas vs. Pirates, and Kennedy versus Kruschev if it’s going to be a goofy joke? There’s very little information on it to appeal to voters.”

THIS JUST IN:  Lou Dobbs has reported that he is upset that a latin television station will include a storyline in one of its soap operas  that is designed to lessen people’s fear of U.S. census takers. Dobbs said, “Well, fans–if you like that, you’re going to love this. Fans of telenovellas on Spanish-language television could soon be seeing more than they tuned in for as well. The Telemundo network, owned by NBC, will incorporate a story line in a popular soap opera to promote the U.S. Census. That’s right. They’re going to put that into a storyline. It is part of an Obama administration plan to make sure the Latino population is fully counted next year. Ines Ferre with our report.” Is it just me, or does it make perfect sense that the census should be made as accurate as possible. Lou Dobbs is a moron if he believes that we should strive for an inaccurate census.

BREAKING NEWS:  Tom Delay’s effeminate dancing on Dancing With The Stars should ensure that he has a lot of nice new friends when he goes to prison.

THIS JUST IN: The Tea-Bagger laden Red State of Georgia is angry with the federal government once again. This time they are not complaining about excessive taxation or excessive federal bailout funds. No, this time they are complaining that they are not receiving enough federal funds as the result of last week’s flooding. That’s right, the Tea-Bagging State of Georgia now wants a federal handout. Don’t you just love the irony?

BREAKING NEWS:  A new New York Times/CBS News poll conducted September 19-23, 2009 reveals that not only do a majority of Americans favor the government offering a federally funded health care plan like Medicare for everyone, but they favor it overwhelmingly. the poll reveals that such a plan is favored by 65% of the respondents, while it is opposed by a mere 26%. So much for the Republicans and their Tea-Bagger minions that believe that they represent the interests of most Americans.

THIS JUST IN: Florida’s Republican governor, Charlie Crist said on Saturday that He believes that president Barack Obama will be ousted from office in 2012 just as Jimmy Carter was in 1980. It would appear however, that Governor Crist has failed to look at the most recent polls which have Obama’s popularity rating once again in the high 50’s. In fact, they are higher than Crist’s favorables in Florida. Perhaps it is Crist that will next be ousted.

BREAKING NEWS:  Last week, the FBI arrested three men in connection with a terrorist bomb plot in the United States. The men had been under surveillance by both the federal agency and the New York City police. Good police work seems to have cracked the case. Nobody was tortured. By all accounts, the joint investigation and arrests were a success. Will Republicans give the Obama administration credit for foiling the plot and capturing those responsible or will thay still insist that he is weak on terrorism? It is interesting to note that to this date since Obama’s election, there have been no terrorist attacks on U.S. soil and several plots have been subdued by arrest. By this date in George W. Bush’s tenure, the largest terrorist attack in the history of the United States had taken place and claimed over 3000 lives. Hmmm.

THIS JUST IN: Today’s burning question is, just who is it that we can hear chanting, “We’re number 4 !, We’re number 4 !”? Who else, it is former quitting ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin’s very own BFF and all around handler, Meg Stapleton. Yes folks, she is trying to find some positive spin on the recently released conservative Christian voters’ Value Summit straw poll in which she finished in fourth place behind Mike Huckabee (Hound), Mitt(wit) Romney and Tim (Good’n) Pawlenty.

In response to a recent request here is a Sarah Palin parody of Doris Day’s wonderful, Que Sera Sera

Here is a link to click upon in order to familiarize yourself with the tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZbKHDPPrrc

HEY SARAH, SARAH

(sung to the Doris Day song “Que Sera Sera”)

When she was just a little girl
She asked Ted Stevens, “What will I be?”
“Will I be Guv’nor?” “Will I be Prez?”
Here’s what he said to she.

Hey, Sarah, Sarah
Don’t be so silly, silly
Stop annoying me, dear me
Hey Sarah, Sarah
What will be, will be

When she was Gov she met McCain
She asked the Maverick, what lies ahead?
“How is your cancer?” “How old are you?”
I’ll be Prez when you’re dead.

Hey, Sarah, Sarah
Let’s not jump the gun, the gun
You know that we’ve not yet won
Hey, Sarah, Sarah
You’re no fun, no fun

Her campaign went down to defeat
Now she’s the G.O.P.’s biggest doormat
Well behind Romney, behind Gingrich
She shills for “Arctic Cat”

Hey, Sarah , Sarah
You’re so damned creepy, creepy
Your career’s finished, you see
Hey, Sarah, Sarah
It’s your destiny