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Weekend At Lynnie’s

As the saying goes, “All work and no play makes Lynnrockets a dull boy”. Consequently, your friendly neighborhood scribe and lyricist is taking the weekend off for some fun and frivolity. This weekend we will be having a long overdue visit from two former hockey playing buddies from Canada. We hope to drink some beer and raise some hell. Unfortunately as the result of advancing age, we will probably just drink some beer and reminisce about the days when we were capable of raising some hell.

Yours truly already has a leg-up on his Amis de Quebec because the Boston Bruins trounced the Montreal Canadiens by a score of 7 to 0 last night. In an effort to add insult to injury, we will be taking them to the Boston Garden on Saturday to watch the Bruins take-on the New York Rangers. Something tells me  those Habs will be rooting for the Broadway Blue-Shirts.

Well, it’s time to head to the airport so as to greet my two favorite Canucks.

See you folks on Monday!

In the meantime, this music video seems appropriate.

Actually, maybe this illustrates the good ole days even better!

Ann Coulter Is A “MAN”iac

Ann Coulter on Larry King

The Man-Thing is back in the news. Ultra Reich-Wing pundit Ann Coulter suffered a shot to his self esteem last week while in Canada. The acerbic Coulter was scheduled to speak at the University of Ottawa but when he arrived at the venue, he was confronted with a multitude of angry protesters. Were they the Canadian version of Tea-Party protesters that were angered by big government, taxes and a liberal agenda. As John Boehner would say, “Hell, No!!!” They were simply a group of citizens exercising their own right of free speech as guaranteed by Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms. They were protesting against Coulter.

The Brantford Expositor (Ontario) described it like this:

The students at the University of Ottawa were protesting someone who has called for the invasion of Muslim countries, murdering their leaders, and destroying their religion by converting them all to Christianity.

The students were protesting someone who spreads racism, protesting someone who says that women shouldn’t even be allowed to vote. The students were protesting someone who says that Canada is lucky that America even lets them exist on the same continent as them.

So, what was Ann Coulter’s brave response to the presence of protesters? He and his organizers decided to cancel the speaking engagement. The University of Ottawa did not say that Coulter couldn’t speak, and neither did the police nor any elected official. The event was canceled by Coulter and his organizers.

Coulter then attempted to defend his action within the comfy confines of a Fox News guest host appearance. He appeared on last Thursday’s episode of The O’Reilly Factor and blatantly lied about the circumstances leading to his cancellation. he said,

I was nowhere near the building. I was sitting in a lovely Ottawa club with my bodyguard, waiting for them to tell us it was time to come, because you know, they have to get everyone seated. There was a speaker before me. And the cops called my bodyguard and said it’s been canceled. And then we found out about the commotion. So, among the many crazy things in some of the reports, it wasn’t me, my bodyguard, or my people who shut it down. I didn’t even know what was going on.

CBC news reporter Kady O’Malley rebuffed Coulter’s description as follows:

First, contrary to what Coulter seems to suggest in a brief phone interview with Macleans.ca scribe Colby Cosh, it was not the police who “shut it down.” I spoke with Ottawa Police Services media relations officer Alain Boucher this morning, and he told me, in no uncertain terms, that it was her security team that made the decision to call off the event. “We gave her options” — including, he said, to “find a bigger venue” — but “they opted to cancel … It’s not up to the Ottawa police to make that decision.”

This guy Coulter is incapable of telling the truth. He said that Canadians were impinging on his right to free speech yet, how can there be any violation of free speech when someone decides not to speak all by themselves?

As an aside, there have been rumors circulating on the internets tubes for some time now which advance the proposition that Ann Coulter is actually a male. Most of these articles focus on a few missing years during his adolescence when he presumably left the country to have a sex change operation overseas. The articles also often draw attention to his pronounced Adam’s Apple and masculine looking hands. Additionally, it is frequently pointed out that he has never been married or had children.

Here at Blast-Off, we have no idea as to the credibility of the M’ann Coulter rumors. We do, however hope said rumors are true because of the wealth of satirical material which such a situation would spawn. As you can guess, we really do not like Ann Coulter or anything he has to say. So, without further adieu, let’s have a song…

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

Maniac song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AoAExt2qyM&feature=related

SHE’S A “MAN”IAC

(sung to the Flashdance movie song “Maniac”)

Just a shrill boy/girl on a Saturday Night, lookin’ for the fight
of her life
In the real-time world no one sees her at all, they all say
she’s crazy

Adam’s apple, hairy man hands, no heart; unlikely to
be a wife
She has danced into the Tea Bagger Zone; Ann’s a dancer
that may be a man

Ann has been under the knife, and boy is that guy a liar
She’s for hire any time on Fox TV

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure

On the tube tonight with Hannity, tomorrow with Huckabee
She loves them both like Bill O’Reilly. They are all full of it.
The work of Ann’s life is the spreading of slime; Coulter’s tongue
loves spreading lies.
In the Ann Coulter world there’s no hope of romance
Is she a hermaphrodite?

She’s got such gigantic feet, stumbling when she walks the street
If not burping, Coulter is just breaking wind

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a whore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a whore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure

(musical interlude)

Ann leads such a mixed up life, a transvestite and a liar
On that wire between a broad and big sissy

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure
“MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore

Sarah Palin Is A Lying Liar Who Can’t Stop Lying!

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off apologizes to all of you readers for our aborted attempt to return to the blogosphere following the hiatus which was necessitated by a recent death in the family. We also apologize to Sarah Palin for using the word, “aborted”. As the result of our family loss, we have elected to relocate  to a small “island” community off the coast of, and slightly north of the City of Boston. In a sense, we have returned to, dare we say, the “Lynnrockets Compound” so as to provide  more comprehensive emotional support to a grieving family member. The locale is beautiful and includes three sided ocean views and a wonderful unobstructed view of the Boston skyline. In many regards the situation is idyllic in that it brings a close loving family even closer (not to mention, many beaches for our two dogs to run rampant upon), but it has also presented some obstacles.

To begin, moving is always a problem. In our situation the process is complicated by having to deal with two housefuls of furniture and belongings. We must decide which furnishings from each home to keep in the new location and which to donate to charity. Thankfully the new home is much larger than the old one, so there is more space to keep some of our long cherished keepsakes. Another problem is what to do with the old house. Although the real estate market here in Boston has weathered the economic downturn better than most all other U.S. cities, it is still not the optimum time to be selling. On the other hand, renting the old house presents such problems as deleading, re-metering and a lot of other work. I have the feeling that this decision will be long in the making but that also provides the opportunity to take our time moving furniture and other belongings. One final problem is my “antique car”. We have a 1953 Dodge Coronet in original condition and with only 38,000 miles. The car has been in my family since my great aunt bought it for herself in 1953 as a present to commemorate her retirement from the Boston & Maine Railroad. It needs just a little TLC such as replacing some of the rubber parts. Other than that, it is pristine. It is a hunter green four door sedan with a cream roof.  Anyone interested?

Lastly, the move has caused the usual computer problems (Reader, BigPete might know what I’m talking about). Despite being only seven miles from a major city, the internet connection was somewhat complicated. Additionally, I try not not to blog from the office. I prefer to keep those worlds a bit separate. So, to make a long story just a little bit less long, I was unable to update the blog for awhile. Hopefully the blogging issues have now been resolved and we can get back to the business of saving America.

First of all, Health Care Reform of some sort must be passed in the near future. Although the present Senate bill is faulty in many ways (most notably by the absence of a public option), it is far superior to anything that the Republicans are in favor of. All Americans agree that the present system (if it can be called a system at all) is broken and unsustainable. Some corrective measure must be taken to ensure that all citizens have access to affordable quality driven health care services. The Senate bill, if passed through reconciliation, provides some very important reforms such as the abolition of the pre-existing condition exclusion and the cap on benefits and it also provides a good foundation for future legislative improvements.

We all should remember that equal rights legislation was a piecemeal process over a number of years that would have been impossible to pass in one massive bill. Health care reform with the ultimate goal of a single payer system can be achieved in the same way. It can also be derailed for generations if this Congress does not pass some sort of reform in this session. It is certain that the Democrats are going to face losses in the midterm elections regardless of whether health care reform passes or not. Consequently, why not pass the bill and prove to the American people that this Congress was capable of passing some sort of legislation that was for the benefit of the people if for no other reason than to do the morally correct thing?

By the way, Lynnrockets endorses the following health care reform policy. Democrats get a universal single payer health care system. Republicans keep the same broken high price system that we have today. Independents can either stay in the current system or register for the Democratic system but pay a massively high co-pay as the result of being late to the party. Simple! Anyone with me?

Now finally to our favorite subject. You guessed it. Sarah Palin. The educationally challenged, crib note authoring, former ex-quitting governor of Alaska has stepped in it yet again. Has there ever been a more flip-flopping, hypocritical and confused so-called political policy leader in the history of this great nation of ours? I for one cannot identify her equal. She was already the recipient of the award for the Biggest Lie of 2009 for her “death panel” remarks and now she has started lying once again in 2010.

The most recent Palin fiasco concerns her obsession with the Canadian single payer health care system. For most of the last year, Palin has been branding the Canadian system as an inefficient failure. Indeed, this mostly unemployed American citizen has called upon our sovereign ( and to our Republican readers, “sovereign” means “Not controlled by others. Independent.”) nation neighbor to dismantle its health care system and to implement a privatized insurance based system like ours. Then, Palin agreed to speak at a fundraiser for two Ontario hospitals before she backed out upon realizing that she would then be supporting  just the type of socialized health care system that she claimed that she opposed. Then, only last week while speaking at a paid event in Calgary, Alberta, Palin confessed that her family had actually crossed into Canada to access medical services that she claimed were not available to her family in the United States. She said,

…we used to hustle on over the border for health care that we would receive in Whitehorse. I remember my brother, he burned his ankle in some little kid accident thing, and my parents had to put him on a train and rush him over to Whitehorse, and I think, ‘Isn’t that kind of ironic now’. Zooming over the border, getting health care from Canada.

So let’s get this straight. In “Sarah’s World” the Canadian health care system should be derailed so that families like her own cannot access health care services that might not be available to them in this country? Things got even murkier however when it was recently revealed that the whole “burned ankle/Canadian treatment” incident might not have even happened. A fellow by the name of Jeff Brady reported in the Skagway News website in 2007 that Palin’s version of the incident was a bit different:

Palin drew from her Skagway past to illustrate her point. Her brother burned his foot badly jumping through a fire, and her mother had to take him down to Juneau on the ferry to the hospital. “All these years later, that’s still what people have to rely on here in some instances,” she said.

So which story is correct, Sarah. Were you lying in 2007 or last week? Enquiring minds want to know.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Fire And Rain song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3uaXCJcRrE

LIAR AND INSANE

(sung to the James Taylor song “Fire And Rain”)

One warm July morning they let me know you were gone
Sarah, the eggs you laid put an end to you
I woke up this morning and I wrote down this song
I hope the blogosphere transmits it to you

I’ve seen liars that are insane
I’ve seen money games involving your best friends
I’ve seen phoney lines you’ve spread again and again
But I’m awfully glad that I witnessed your end

Won’t it be great when you leave us
And stick your head in the sand
We just might declare a brand new holiday
Palin you’re shaking and do not understand
Why we can’t wait for you to go away

Oh, I’ve seen liars that just cause pain
I’ve seen sunny days that you somehow turned to rain
You committed crimes, on that we can depend
But you’ll next work at a bar that you can tend

If we only timed everytime you whined we’d have had so damn much fun
Lord knows when your temper shows you emit a funny sound
Well we’ve hours of time to reminisce and pine of the days of Tweetle-Dumb
Pipe dreams and young pregnant teens, a beauty pageant crown

Oh, I’ve seen ire and much disdain
I’ve seen lack of praise and of respect, without end
I’ve seen wicked times that I never will defend
But I never thought I’d see Sarah Palin reach the bitter end, now

Glad we get to witness your downward trend
They’ll be a few things people will say about this clown, now
Glad to see you, glad to see you boarding that train now…..

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