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Has Palin Ever Been This Silent For This Long?

Cat got her tongue?

Oh where, oh where is Sarah Palin?

Come out, come out wherever you are!

We have not heard a word from the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska since she issued her Facebook statement of “sincere condolences” last Saturday following the tragic massacre in Tucson, Arizona. Despite the fact that Palin has come under widespread and intense public scrutiny as the result of her perceived symbolic “call to arms” via her public advertisement which placed a sniper’s rifle-sight image over victim Rep. Gabrielle Giffords’ congressional district and mentioned her by name, Palin has uncharacteristically remained silent. Sure, she sent that self-serving private email to her fellow hate-speaker Glenn Beck which he promptly read on the hate-spewing Fox News network. However, “I hate violence. I hate war” is not exactly a coherent retort of any kind. Why is Sarah Palin so tongue tied?

Where are the defensive (and to many, “offensive”) Twitter tweets and Facebook retorts that always immediately materialize after Sarah Palin is criticized? When David Letterman told an offensive joke about her daughter, Palin’s response was instantaneous. When her lie about “death panels” was exposed, Palin quickly doubled down on her mentioning of the fabrication. When Arnold Schwarzenegger needled her about being able to see Russia from his plane, she hastily criticized his governing abilities. And, when a number of literate citizens pointed out that “refudiate” is not a word, she promptly compared herself to William Shakespeare. Any casual viewer of her TLC un-reality television show has noticed that Palin cannot keep her hands off her Blackberry for more than 5 consecutive minutes. So, the 64 thousand dollar question is, where is Sarah Palin’s response when she has been so broadly criticized for having fostered  a toxic environment of hate that may be partially responsible for the attempted assassination of a public official that she “targeted”? Lynnrockets would concur that Sarah Palin’s silence is generally golden, but something is askew.

This is not to say that others have not spoken on behalf of Sarah Palin. Her defenders have appeared in the “lamestream” (as they always used to call it when they ignored it) media and on countless websites and blogs where they have made every attempt to portray Palin as the actual victim of this tragedy. Some have even gone so far as to absurdly suggest that the deadly shooting was carried out by liberals in an attempt to cast blame on Palin and other members of the radical far-right. One Palin-devoted blog, C4P (Conservatives For Palin) has a contributor named Nicole Coulter who told CBS.com this summer, “We would literally walk across hot broken glass for this woman… She’s our family, and you protect your family; it’s like the mafia.” You can say that again!

The closest member of the Palin clan to publicly comment on the Giffords/Palin connection is Rebecca Mansour. She is a Palin staffer who is active in Palin’s SarahPAC political action committee website. Coincidentally (or not), it was the SarahPAC website (as well as Sarah Palin’s Facebook page) which displayed the controversial sniper-sight symbols. Mansour provides much of the narrative material which appears on the SarahPAC site and it has been alleged that she also ghost-writes many of Palin’s Twitter tweets and Facebook posts. As for the Tucson murders, Mansour said on conservative Tammy Bruce’s radio program last weekend that any attempt to connect the tragedy to Sarah Palin is “obscene” and “appalling”. She went on to say,We never ever, ever intended it to be gun sites.” When radio host Bruce then suggested, “It’s surveyor’s symbols”, Mansour agreed. She responded, “We never imagined, it never occurred to us that anybody would consider it violent.” Rather, she said, that it was simply “crosshairs that you would see on a map. There is “nothing irresponsible about our graphic.

OH, PA—LEASE!!!

Is Mansour so naive as to think that nobody noticed Sarah Palin’s “don’t retreat, instead- RELOAD!” exclamation which appeared on both her Facebook page and the SarahPAC website shortly after the gun-sight graphic was posted and linked directly back to the cross-hair laden map? Did Mansour also think that nobody noticed Palin’s admission that the symbols were bullseyes when she tweeted on November 4, 2010 as follows:

SARAH-PALIN-BULLSEYE
Additionally, if there was “nothing irresponsible’ about the graphic, then why was it suddenly scrubbed from the website on the very day of the murders? Perhaps some very real ghosts began haunting Palin and her ghost-writer after the killings.

Again we ask, when will Sarah Palin come out of hiding and say something on her own behalf?

Paging Sarah Palin! Paging Sarah Palin!

SPECIAL NOTE: Today is Lynnrockets’ birthday. I do not mention this because of some narcissistic tendency, but only because the numeric date (1/11/11) is noteworthy and I am generally unlikely to be associated with anything that is noteworthy. Consequently, the drink will flow tonight (or the earth will end or something!).

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s reader-requested song parody which describes Sarah Palin’s ghost-written books.

Ghost Riders In The Sky song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwAPa0qHmLo

GHOST-WRITER IN THE SKY

(sung to the Frankie Laine song  “Ghost Riders In The Sky”)

Yippie I ay, Yippie I oh
The Ghost-Writers in the sky

Alaska’s dope was whining ‘bout Obama one fine day,
Her patience sure was tested by that actress Tina Fey
When all at once a thousand words in her mind’s eye she saw
A sure fire way to spread her lies and keep her fans in awe

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Her words they would buy

So Palin found a buyer and she signed a big book deal
Her brain-power was tiny so her writing lacked appeal
A bolt of fear went through her as poor Sarah realized
Book writing is so friggin’ hard…but she had to spread her lies

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Ghost-Writer she must find

Her face was gaunt, her eyes were blurred, her blouse was soaked with sweat
She needed a ghost-writer now, so she called Lynn Vincent
She recited made-up stories going back to junior high
The tall tales of a big fat liar… written by a paid ally

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
The Ghost-Writer on the sly

The critics were not impressed, they said her book was lame
Her fans were not dissuaded, they all bought it just the same
Sarah went on a book-signing tour, took her fans for a ride
She charged them money for her words…and those fools all complied

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
(Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay)
The Ghost-Writers in the sky
Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay

Sarah Palin: The Quitter On Twitter

palin_twitter0

Have no fear, Palinbots. Your fearless leader, the ex-quitting former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin will soon be back on Twitter. Tweets will be flying from her fingertips at breakneck speed as her book hawking tour takes her from one tiny rural hamlet to the next. Presumably Ms. Quittypants feels that she will be so inundated with requested book signings from her uneducated and illiterate followers that she will be unable to post more lengthy and thoroughly researched Facebook entries. Besides, most of Palin’s followers find it difficult enough to try to slog through Twitter’s 140 character postings let alone try to read something more lengthy on Facebook. Consequently, for both Sarah Palin and her followers it is a win-win situation.

Please enjoy today’s Twitter inspired song parody. As usual, don’t forget to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Rockin’ Robin song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2RPWZ6qKc&feature=related

ROCKIN’ PALIN

(sung to the Jackson 5 song “Rockin’ Robin”)

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Every little message, every cryptic thing
Every little word from the ding-a-ling
She threw in the towel, it’s time to go
Flappin’ her lips every so and so

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

(musical interlude)

Petty little Palin that we just can’t stand
Tells her SarahPAC ers to fork out ten grand
She flirted with the devil and lost her soul
Payin’ legal bills through Kristan Cole

She sucks like a freeze pop all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Pretty little Palin just can’t understand
No one likes a beggar holding out her hand
Finding new employment is her next big goal
Her next job is with a stage-mounted pole

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

Sarah Palin’s Little Helper

Sarah Palin at the Wasilla Home For Needy Governors

Sarah Palin at the Wasilla Home For Needy Governors

We are still awaiting some sort of confirmation of the “truthiness” of the Globe Magazine‘s recent allegation that Alaska’a former governor, Sarah Palin has suffered a nervous breakdown. The Globe state’s on its website,

CONSERVATIVE darling Sarah Palin is suffering a nervous breakdown as her marriage collapses, her family is rocked by crisis and her political career sinks, insiders fear. This week’s GLOBE bares all the blockbuster details of the former Alaska governor’s secret life. It’s must reading for every American.

All we can say is, “Enquiring minds want to know.”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and have more fun singing along.

Mother’s Little Helper song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cfQ4O7FSH8

PALIN’S LITTLE HELPER

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Mother’s Little Helper”)

What a drag it is getting old
Palin’s different today
Todd has locked his wife away
Sarah needs something today to calm her down
Thanks to our new Health Care Bill

She’s entitled to a pill
Though she’s gone quite helter skelter, she’s got Palin’s little helper
She takes four or five a day, helps those voices go away

Sarah’s different today
I just overheard her say
That she thinks the tabloid Globe is just a rag
She says that the rumor’s fake, that she’s really not half baked
And goes running for the shelter of her Palin’s little helper
Before they put her away, she gets on her knees to pray

Doctor please, some more of these
Sarah needs more, don’t lock that door
She’s a hag and she’s getting old

Men just aren’t the same today
She wants Todd to go away
It’s his antics that caused her to just retire
Sarah’s never satisfied and now must pacify her mind
Let’s all watch her sweat and swelter as the white coats try to help her
Is the strait-jacket too tight? Can she still put up a fight?

The C4P’s and G.O.P.’s
Try to ignore, that mean press corps
What a drag she is to behold

Life’s just much too hard today
I heard Sarah Palin say
That she thinks that Tina Fey is just a whore
She just wants to stand and pose in her brand new store bought clothes
Now she’s gone quite helter skelter is there anyone can help her?
Or will she stay locked away, straight on through her dying day?