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Mitt(wit) Romney vs. GOP Governors vs. Mitt(wit) Romney (Part II)

Exactly one week ago we wrote about the dilemma facing Mitt Romney and Republican Governors seeking re-election and we now have some brand new breaking news. The big problem facing these folks is that Romney wants to pretend that the economies of all states are suffering and getting worse because of President Obama’s policies. On the other hand, the Republican Governors from Ohio, Iowa, Florida and Virginia want to capitalize on their states’ economic progress so as to grab credit and votes in the next election. These Governors would also like to strongly endorse Mitt Romney, but they are reluctant to do so as long as Romney continues to bash their states.

Here is what we wrote last week:

The 2012 Republican Circular Firing Squad has been convened. All present say, “Aye”!

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and Republican Governors seeking re-election this fall have a dilemma to overcome. Romney of course, is making the economy the number one issue in his campaign against incumbent President Barack Obama. In short, his argument  to the American people (misinformed as it may be) is: “The economy is getting worse. You are suffering. It is Obama’s fault.” Romney feels that if the American electorate buys into that perception, then he will be elected as the economy’s savior. To convince voters that what he says is true, Romney must point out how each state is failing economically.

Problem is, that sort of argument directly attacks Republican Governors seeking re-election. Those Governors must convince the same state voters that they are doing well ,or at least much better than in other states . These GOP Governors must downplay high unemployment numbers in some places while celebrating low (relative to the national average) unemployment numbers as the result of economic progress in their home states. Hence, Republican Governors must proclaim that Mitt Romney is wrong.

Take a look at the State of Ohio as an example. Thinkprogress.org reports:

During a speech in Ohio today, 2012 GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney decried the economy, claiming, ‘almost everything the president has done has made it harder for entrepreneurs to start a business, has made it less likely for businesses like this [one in Ohio] to hire more people.’ However, led by the revival of the American auto industry, Ohio’s unemployment rate has been coming down, from about 11 percent in 2009 to just above 7 percent today.”

Of course, the aforementioned revival of the auto industry is a direct result of President Obama’s auto manufacturer bailout which Romney opposed. Also, Romney’s statement puts Ohio Governor John Kasich in an unenviable position. Kasich wants to support Romney and his Republican Party in the Presidential election, but he also wants to capitalize on the relatively recent and optimistic prospects of Ohio’s economy. Consequently, while Romney comes to Ohio and says businesses in the state cannot hire people for new jobs because of Obama’s policies, Kasich is simultaneously touting the fact that since 2010, Ohio went from being the third-worst job creator to one of the top job creators in the nation. In fact, 850,000 auto manufacturing jobs have been added to Ohio’s economy since the auto bailout in 2009. In his 2012 State of the state Address, Kasich said,

“A year ago, Ohio ranked 48 in job creation. We trailed only Michigan and California. Michigan, who has the automotive industry, and California is filled with a bunch of whack-a-doodles. Who would have thought we would have been third worst? Ohio is now ranked No. 1 as job creator in the Midwest and No. 9 in the nation.”


Iowa is another state where Mitt Romney and the Governor are at odds. The Wall Street Journal reports, “When Mr. Romney traveled to Iowa last month, his campaign released a Web ad highlighting Iowans who were struggling to find work—in a state with a 5.1% jobless rate, the seventh lowest in the U.S.”

Iowa’s Republican Governor, Terry Branstad, was not impressed with Romney’s characterization of his state. The Wall Street Journal article says, “Branstad, is part of a contingent of GOP governors and party elders urging Mr. Romney to re-tailor his message by highlighting the success stories under way in a half-dozen GOP-led states, even if it means diluting his gloomier national pitch.” Branstad said, “My state is seeing significant growth. We are doing very well.”

Florida’s Republican Governor (and Vote Purger in Chief) Rick Scott echoes Branstad’s and Kasich’s sentiments. Thinkprogress.org reported in May 2012 that Scott has said, ” Today’s unemployment report adds to the series of encouraging indicators that Florida’s economy is steadily moving in the right direction. With 243,594 job openings listed by various help-wanted websites and our unemployment rate down 2.2 points to 8.7%, more Floridians are finding new jobs throughout the Sunshine State.”

Virginia’s Republican Governor, Bob McDonnell, has not only extolled his states positive economic conditions, but he has also even given some credit to Democrats. Indeed, McDonnell’s own website says,

“Virginia’s unemployment rate has plunged 23% since January 2010, down to 5.6% in March 2012, and the private sector job-creators are driving that success. Virginia is growing strong again. Through a bipartisan effort in Richmond, and the hard-work, innovation and dedication of the people of Virginia, our economy is recovering. There is a lot to celebrate in our Commonwealth. With unemployment at over a 3-year low, agricultural exports at a record high, and thousands of Virginians working again, this is a great time to recognize all the great things happening in our tremendous Commonwealth. Virginians have written an incredible story; this ad tells it. Together, we are growing strong again.”

All in all, this cross-messaging by Mitt Romney (as well as his flip-flops) and a slew of Republican Governors may complicate matters for all of them as the November elections approach.

UPDATE:

More fuel has just been added to the Romney/GOP Governors battle. Today, TalkingPointsMemo.com reports that the Romney campaign has, in fact, been accused of concocting an alleged scheme to keep good economic news about Florida under wraps. The report states:

Late Wednesday night and into Thursday came the news that the campaign asked Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R) to stop talking up economic improvements in his state because of a view among Team Romney that good news about the economy from a swing-state Republican governor would damage their cause and potentially boost Obama. The sources behind the story: ‘Two people familiar with the matter.‘”

Will the embattled Governor Scott follow Romney’s marching orders? Don’t count on it if Scott wants to be re-elected in the Sunshine State.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFI-hhndCek

THE ROMNEY HILLBILLY

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitt
A rich profiteer who’s been known to pitch a fit.
Unlike Scott Brown he won’t model in the nude,
He likes to run for office but he doesn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Hates Polls,    Sanity.

Well the one thing we know is Mitt’s a millionaire,
Pinstriped suits and plastic molded hair.
Inside the beltway is the place he wants to be,
So he strapped his dog on top and drove down to D.C.

Washington that is,   Lobbyists,    Big black cars.

(flip-flop break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Mitt and all his friends,
He will lose this year’s election and that will be his end
He never will return again cuz of the Tea Party,
They much prefer Santorum and his beastiality.

Man on dog, that is,   Ring a bell?,    Take your pants off.

Don’t come back now, y’hear?

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Mitt(wit) Romney vs. GOP Governors vs. Mitt(wit) Romney

Cartoon by Robert Arlail

The 2012 Republican Circular Firing Squad has been convened. All present say, “Aye”!

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and Republican Governors seeking re-election this fall have a dilemma to overcome. Romney of course, is making the economy the number one issue in his campaign against incumbent President Barack Obama. In short, his argument  to the American people (misinformed as it may be) is: “The economy is getting worse. You are suffering. It is Obama’s fault.” Romney feels that if the American electorate buys into that perception, then he will be elected as the economy’s savior. To convince voters that what he says is true, Romney must point out how each state is failing economically.

Problem is, that sort of argument directly attacks Republican Governors seeking re-election. Those Governors must convince the same state voters that they are doing well ,or at least much better than in other states . These GOP Governors must downplay high unemployment numbers in some places while celebrating low (relative to the national average) unemployment numbers as the result of economic progress in their home states. Hence, Republican Governors must proclaim that Mitt Romney is wrong.

Take a look at the State of Ohio as an example. Thinkprogress.org reports:

During a speech in Ohio today, 2012 GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney decried the economy, claiming, ‘almost everything the president has done has made it harder for entrepreneurs to start a business, has made it less likely for businesses like this [one in Ohio] to hire more people.’ However, led by the revival of the American auto industry, Ohio’s unemployment rate has been coming down, from about 11 percent in 2009 to just above 7 percent today.”

Of course, the aforementioned revival of the auto industry is a direct result of President Obama’s auto manufacturer bailout which Romney opposed. Also, Romney’s statement puts Ohio Governor John Kasich in an unenviable position. Kasich wants to support Romney and his Republican Party in the Presidential election, but he also wants to capitalize on the relatively recent and optimistic prospects of Ohio’s economy. Consequently, while Romney comes to Ohio and says businesses in the state cannot hire people for new jobs because of Obama’s policies, Kasich is simultaneously touting the fact that since 2010, Ohio went from being the third-worst job creator to one of the top job creators in the nation. In fact, 850,000 auto manufacturing jobs have been added to Ohio’s economy since the auto bailout in 2009. In his 2012 State of the state Address, Kasich said,

“A year ago, Ohio ranked 48 in job creation. We trailed only Michigan and California. Michigan, who has the automotive industry, and California is filled with a bunch of whack-a-doodles. Who would have thought we would have been third worst? Ohio is now ranked No. 1 as job creator in the Midwest and No. 9 in the nation.”


Iowa is another state where Mitt Romney and the Governor are at odds. The Wall Street Journal reports, “When Mr. Romney traveled to Iowa last month, his campaign released a Web ad highlighting Iowans who were struggling to find work—in a state with a 5.1% jobless rate, the seventh lowest in the U.S.”

Iowa’s Republican Governor, Terry Branstad, was not impressed with Romney’s characterization of his state. The Wall Street Journal article says, “Branstad, is part of a contingent of GOP governors and party elders urging Mr. Romney to re-tailor his message by highlighting the success stories under way in a half-dozen GOP-led states, even if it means diluting his gloomier national pitch.” Branstad said, “My state is seeing significant growth. We are doing very well.”

Florida’s Republican Governor (and Vote Purger in Chief) Rick Scott echoes Branstad’s and Kasich’s sentiments. Thinkprogress.org reported in May 2012 that Scott has said, ” Today’s unemployment report adds to the series of encouraging indicators that Florida’s economy is steadily moving in the right direction. With 243,594 job openings listed by various help-wanted websites and our unemployment rate down 2.2 points to 8.7%, more Floridians are finding new jobs throughout the Sunshine State.”

Virginia’s Republican Governor, Bob McDonnell, has not only extolled his states positive economic conditions, but he has also even given some credit to Democrats. Indeed, McDonnell’s own website says,

“Virginia’s unemployment rate has plunged 23% since January 2010, down to 5.6% in March 2012, and the private sector job-creators are driving that success. Virginia is growing strong again. Through a bipartisan effort in Richmond, and the hard-work, innovation and dedication of the people of Virginia, our economy is recovering. There is a lot to celebrate in our Commonwealth. With unemployment at over a 3-year low, agricultural exports at a record high, and thousands of Virginians working again, this is a great time to recognize all the great things happening in our tremendous Commonwealth. Virginians have written an incredible story; this ad tells it. Together, we are growing strong again.”

All in all, this cross-messaging by Mitt Romney (as well as his flip-flops) and a slew of Republican Governors may complicate matters for all of them as the November elections approach.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFI-hhndCek

THE ROMNEY HILLBILLY

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitt
A rich profiteer who’s been known to pitch a fit.
Unlike Scott Brown he won’t model in the nude,
He likes to run for office but he doesn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Hates Polls,    Sanity.

Well the one thing we know is Mitt’s a millionaire,
Pinstriped suits and plastic molded hair.
Inside the beltway is the place he wants to be,
So he strapped his dog on top and drove down to D.C.

Washington that is,   Lobbyists,    Big black cars.

(flip-flop break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Mitt and all his friends,
He will lose this year’s election and that will be his end
He never will return again cuz of the Tea Party,
They much prefer Santorum and his beastiality.

Man on dog, that is,   Ring a bell?,    Take your pants off.

Don’t come back now, y’hear?

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 9

coffee_or_tea_1

BREAKING NEWS: San Francisco radio station 910 KNEW, the flagship station of reich-wing uber-conservative radio commentator, Michael Savage, has dropped his program known as “The Savage Nation.” Now that he is unemployed, will he be able to obtain replacement health insurance coverage despite his pre-existing condition of clinical insanity?

THIS JUST IN: Republican Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina burst into the public consciousness last week when he called President Obama a “liar” during the President’s nationally televised speech before both houses of Congress. Every single major media source reported the man’s abominable behavior for the next number of days. We have learned that Wilson has been in Congress for almost eight years. Our question to you readers is, have you ever even heard of this loser before he made a fool of himself?

BREAKING NEWS: In our next installment of “Republicans Behaving Badly” we have California State Assemblyman, Mike Duvall. The traditional “family values” proponent was forced to resign last week as the result of the release of an audio tape during which he describes his bondage sessions with mistresses that do not happen to be his wife. It also turns out that one of his “bad girls” works as a lobbyist at a San Diego energy firm that Duvall had oversight of. Your punishment, Mr. Duvall? Fifty-four spankings!

THIS JUST IN: As a counter-punch to the mayor of Mt. Vernon, WA presenting the “Town Key” to Fox News commentator Glenn Beck, the Bellingham, WA mayor has offered his “City’s Key” to The Daily Show host, Jon Stewart. Take that, Mt. Vernon!

BREAKING NEWS: Conservative radio entertainer Rush Limbaugh says, “I wish Wilson hadn’t apologized” in reference to the aforementioned, Joe “You Lie” Wilson outburst. This is not surprising. In his apology to the President “Shouting Joe” said that he was  compelled to utter his insult. A compulsion is much like an addiction in that the person that has it cannot control their behavior. Rush Limbaugh, the self admitted drug addict, must share some sort of brotherly feelings with Wilson. Perhaps they can refer to themselves as “Friends of Glenn.”

THIS JUST IN: We have another episode of “Republicans Behaving Badly.”  CNN reports that “Bob McDonnell, the normally-disciplined Republican candidate for governor in Virginia, mistakenly blurted out the F-bomb during a live radio interview on Friday… Appearing on Washington-area radio station WTOP, McDonnell was sparring with host Mark Plotkin on the topic of transportation funding. Plotkin asked if McDonnell would consider an increase in the state gasoline tax to help fund the transportation budget. McDonnell said no, and uttered the expletive during his response.” To wit,

“I’m going to find other ways to be able to fund transportation. I’ve outlined twleve f—ing funding mechanisms that are creative, that are entrepreneurial.”

BREAKING NEWS: Actress Tina Fey has deservedly won an Emmy Award for her hilariously realistic portrayal of Alaska’s quitting ex-governor, Sarah Palin. In her acceptance speech, Fey once again took a jab at Palin by saying:

“Mrs. Palin is an inspiration to working mothers everywhere because she bailed on her job right before Fourth of July weekend … You are living my dream. Thank you, Mrs. Palin!”

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

The No No Song song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zx8DGD-Kn0&feature=related

THE HO HO SONG

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “The No No Song”)

A doctor that I know just came from the pharmacy
He smiled at Rush and opened up his hand
Then he held out some oxycontin tablets
He said they were the finest in the land

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My back is feeling really damn sore
If I say please
Can I have more of these
My habit has become really hardcore

A friend of Rush Limbo who wears a hat made of tin
Came on the show and opened up his hand
When he revealed twelve tablets of vicodin
Rush was so happy he performed handstands

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
I always come to you for a score
Without more of these
I’m in a cold-turkey freeze
And ditto-heads need someone to adore

A ditto-head I know said he could make organs grow
He smiled and said Rush would not need his hand
Then he gave him some blue viagra pills, Oh
And said that things will rise upon command

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My love life has become such a chore
Please, pretty please
I’m flying overseas
The boys there like it when it hits the floor

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 8

coffee_or_tea_1

BREAKING NEWS: The Obama White House has agreed to release visitor records after September 15, 2009. The Bush Administration did everything in its power to keep the visitor logs private. Bravo, Mr. Obama. We thank you for the openness and transparency.

THIS JUST IN: It has just been exposed that Republican Gubernatorial hopeful, Bob McDonnell of Virginia has a mindset reminiscent of the dark ages. His 1989 Regent University (oh, yeah, that is the same university founded by evangelical whack job, Pat Robertson) thesis says, “every level of government should statutorily and procedurally prefer married couples over cohabitators, homosexuals or fornicators. The cost of sin should fall on the sinner, not the taxpayer.” He also bemoans, “a dynamic new trend of working women and feminists that is ultimately detrimental to the family.” In my book, no gay sinners plus no working females equals no election victory for McDonnell.

BREAKING NEWS: A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Friday morning indicates that the GOP has gained some ground in polls in recent months, but Democrats still hold the advantage on key issues like the economy and health care. Fifty-two percent of people questioned say the president’s policies will move the country in the right direction. An equal percentage feel the same way about the polices of the Democrats in Congress. What do Americans think of Republican policies? Forty-three percent say the GOP’s policies will move the country in the right direction. Nearly half of those polled said congressional Republicans would move the country in the wrong direction. Looks like the majority of Americans remain sane.

THIS JUST IN: In southern California last Wednesday, an anti-health care reform protestor claimed that a health care reform supporter bit off the tip of his finger while the two were fighting. William Rice, age 65, was later treated at the hospital for his injury. Ready for this? His medical care was paid for by Medicare, that very same type of socialized medicine that he was protesting against. Are these people for real?

BREAKING NEWS: The latest crazy Glenn Beck diatribe is true evidence that the man is losing his mind right before our eyes on television. He donned his art critic tin foil hat and explained to his audience that Rockefeller Center in New York, which was built more than 70 years ago, has art inscribed upon it and inside of it that proves that progressives, Democrats, fascists and communists are one and the same. He failed to mention however, that the building was made a national historic monument in 1987 by Ronald Reagan, that fascist, communist.

THIS JUST IN: Where have you gone, Michael Savage? Our nation turns its lonely ears to you (woo, hoo, hoo). as you all know by now, next week President Obama plans to give a speech to our nation’s schoolchildren the purpose of which is to inspire them to work hard and get good grades. Of course the right wing crazies are up in arms at such a radically communist indoctrination. Radio host Michael Savage says that no other president has ever addressed schoolchildren before and that, “Hitler had the Hitler youth and Obama would like to have the Obama Youth.” You can listen to Savage, here. Well, first of all Mr. Savage failed to do his homework because he did not mention that Ronald Reagan had a question and answer session with high school students in 1986 that was broadcast nationally on television. Savage also failed to mention that George H.W. Bush in 1991 gave an address to schoolchildren nationwide in which his opening remark was that he was talking to millions of students in classrooms all across the country. Last but not least, wasn’t George W. Bush actually sitting in a classroom reading My Pet Goat (if you look at photos here, the book in his hands is upside down) as the September 11, 2001 attacks were taking place. These conservative talk radio hosts are as dumb as their audience.

Yes indeed, the reich-wing Republican world is a scary place. So scary in fact, that it inspired today’s song parody. Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OGM4FdpJFc

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Sarah Palin scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(musical interlude)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)