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Romney’s “Bully” Pulpit (Updated: New Music Video)

This Mitt Romney gay bullying issue seems to have legs. As we all know by now, The Washington Post published a story about the Republican nominee’s youth that is extremely unflattering. According to five of Romney’s exclusive prep-school classmates, when Romney was 18 years old he rounded up a group of friends to pin down another student who happened to be gay and haphazardly hacked off his hair. During the incident, the boy was terrified and reduced to tears. By the way, the five witnesses were all eyewitnesses to the event. The Post also recounted another incident in which Romney shouted “atta girl” to a different student at the all-boys’ school who, years later, came out as being gay. Of course there is also the example of Romney bullying his dog, Seamus by means of strapping him to the roof of his care for a 12 hour trip to Canada during which time the terrified pet was reduced to defecating all over the vehicle (Seamus’ sexual orientation is unknown).

There is a particularly disturbing aspect to Romney’s reaction to the bullying incident in high school. During an interview on Fox News (where else?), Romney laughingly remarked, “I participated in a lot of hijinks and pranks during high school and some may have gone too far. And for that I apologize. If there was anything I said that was offensive to someone, I certainly am sorry about that. There was no harm intended.” He went on to say he did not remember the incidents from long ago, but didn’t dispute that they happened. He stressed that he didn’t know either student was gay. He said, “I had no idea what that individual’s sexual orientation might be.” So which one is it? If Romney is to be believed when he says he does not remember the incidents, then how can he remember that he had no idea of his victims’ sexual orientations? He cannot have it both ways. And making matters worse, he actually laughed while speaking about these incidents and referred to bullying as mere “hijinks and pranks”.

Also last week, Romney’s openly gay foreign policy spokesman, Richard Grenell, resigned, implying that social conservatives had driven him out of the job, which once again thrust the gay issue into the campaign. But we digress. As mentioned above, the Romney bullying story is gaining traction and is now finding its way on to late night television.

Last night Comedian Bill Maher was a guest on Conan O’Brien’s show and the topic was Romney’s bullying (BTW, who is the guy sitting to Maher’s right? He looks very familiar).

Here’s hoping the spotlight stays on Romney and this issue for quite some time leading up to the election.

UPDATE:  “Mitt Romney, the Demon Barber of Wall Street” video

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mack The Knife” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEllHMWkXEU

MITT THE KNIFE

 (sung to the Bobby Darin song “Mack The Knife”)

Oh, that Mitt babe, has straight teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white
And a jackknife plus a sharp switchblade
Romney keeps them out of sight

You know when that Mitt bites, with his teeth, babe
Bully stories start to spread
Cranebrook School though is just so preppy
So there’s never, never a long-haired head

On a sidewalk, blue Sunday mornin’, oh yeah
Lies a young lad, who fears for life
There’s someone sneakin’ ‘round a corner
Yes that someone is Mitt the Knife

There’s a “sissy”, down by the bubbler, don’t you know?
With a blond-dyed shag, just a droopin’ on down
Oh, Mitt Romney is just, he’s hiding in wait there
Five or maybe ten of Mitt’s boys circling round

Now d’ja hear ‘bout Richie Grenell? He disappeared babe
After bringin’ in, all that donor cash
But Mitt Romney says, “Rich is too gay”, yeah
So Romney dumped Grenell, in the trash

Ol’ Mitt’s a liar, ho, ho, yeah and he’s tawdry
Gay adoption oh yeah, upon that Romney frowns
There’s a hate storm on the right, babe
Now that Romney rules their town…

Ol’ Mitt’s a liar and he’s tawdry
Look out civil unions oh yeah, upon them Romney frowns
There’s a hate storm on the right, babe
Now that Romney’s………….. in our town…

Look out, ol’ Mitt he’s back!

Romney’s “Bully” Pulpit (Updated: New Music Video)

This Mitt Romney gay bullying issue seems to have legs. As we all know by now, The Washington Post published a story about the Republican nominee’s youth that is extremely unflattering. According to five of Romney’s exclusive prep-school classmates, when Romney was 18 years old he rounded up a group of friends to pin down another student who happened to be gay and haphazardly hacked off his hair. During the incident, the boy was terrified and reduced to tears. By the way, the five witnesses were all eyewitnesses to the event. The Post also recounted another incident in which Romney shouted “atta girl” to a different student at the all-boys’ school who, years later, came out as being gay. Of course there is also the example of Romney bullying his dog, Seamus by means of strapping him to the roof of his care for a 12 hour trip to Canada during which time the terrified pet was reduced to defecating all over the vehicle (Seamus’ sexual orientation is unknown).

There is a particularly disturbing aspect to Romney’s reaction to the bullying incident in high school. During an interview on Fox News (where else?), Romney laughingly remarked, “I participated in a lot of hijinks and pranks during high school and some may have gone too far. And for that I apologize. If there was anything I said that was offensive to someone, I certainly am sorry about that. There was no harm intended.” He went on to say he did not remember the incidents from long ago, but didn’t dispute that they happened. He stressed that he didn’t know either student was gay. He said, “I had no idea what that individual’s sexual orientation might be.” So which one is it? If Romney is to be believed when he says he does not remember the incidents, then how can he remember that he had no idea of his victims’ sexual orientations? He cannot have it both ways. And making matters worse, he actually laughed while speaking about these incidents and referred to bullying as mere “hijinks and pranks”.

Also last week, Romney’s openly gay foreign policy spokesman, Richard Grenell, resigned, implying that social conservatives had driven him out of the job, which once again thrust the gay issue into the campaign. But we digress. As mentioned above, the Romney bullying story is gaining traction and is now finding its way on to late night television.

Last night Comedian Bill Maher was a guest on Conan O’Brien’s show and the topic was Romney’s bullying (BTW, who is the guy sitting to Maher’s right? He looks very familiar).

Here’s hoping the spotlight stays on Romney and this issue for quite some time leading up to the election.

UPDATE:  “Mitt Romney, the Demon Barber of Wall Street” video

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mack The Knife” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEllHMWkXEU

MITT THE KNIFE

 (sung to the Bobby Darin song “Mack The Knife”)

Oh, that Mitt babe, has straight teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white
And a jackknife plus a sharp switchblade
Romney keeps them out of sight

You know when that Mitt bites, with his teeth, babe
Bully stories start to spread
Cranebrook School though is just so preppy
So there’s never, never a long-haired head

On a sidewalk, blue Sunday mornin’, oh yeah
Lies a young lad, who fears for life
There’s someone sneakin’ ‘round a corner
Yes that someone is Mitt the Knife

There’s a “sissy”, down by the bubbler, don’t you know?
With a blond-dyed shag, just a droopin’ on down
Oh, Mitt Romney is just, he’s hiding in wait there
Five or maybe ten of Mitt’s boys circling round

Now d’ja hear ‘bout Richie Grenell? He disappeared babe
After bringin’ in, all that donor cash
But Mitt Romney says, “Rich is too gay”, yeah
So Romney dumped Grenell, in the trash

Ol’ Mitt’s a liar, ho, ho, yeah and he’s tawdry
Gay adoption oh yeah, upon that Romney frowns
There’s a hate storm on the right, babe
Now that Romney rules their town…

Ol’ Mitt’s a liar and he’s tawdry
Look out civil unions oh yeah, upon them Romney frowns
There’s a hate storm on the right, babe
Now that Romney’s………….. in our town…

Look out, ol’ Mitt he’s back!

Christine O’Donnell Book: Mistake To Say “I Am Not A Witch”

Do you remember Christine O’Donnell? She was one of Sarah Palin’s Tea Party-backed “mama bears” seeking office in last November’s midterm elections. Like most of Palin’s more radical endorsements, she lost and faded into obscurity. Until now. O’Donnell has also followed in Palin’s footsteps by just releasing a book. It is titled “Troublemaker” and she states therein that it was a mistake for her to claim that she was not a witch. Lynnrockets agrees with her emphatically. Let’s take a look book at those halcyon days of the O’Donnell candidacy for US Senator from Delaware.

This is a re-posting of a Lynnrockets column about Christine O’Donnell from September 23, 2010:

O’Donnell Chickens Out Of Televised Interviews

Sarah Palin better watch her back. Christine O’Donnell may just out-crazy the craziest Tea-Bagger we know. In just two short months this Tea-Party endorsed Palin prodigy has showed the nation that she is a true contender in the G.O.P. certifiably insane candidate category.

O’Donnell was initially exposed by the revelation that she believes masturbation is akin to adultery and for her campaign’s thinly veiled accusation that her primary opponent, Mike Castle is gay. Next, it was revealed by TV host Bill Mahar, that the family values Christian admitted on television that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a blood splattered satanic alter. That revelation prompted O’Donnell to abruptly back out of two nationally televised Sunday morning talk shows last week. To add insult to injury, Mahar threatened O’Donnell that he has even more embarrassing tapes which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his current program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

Those embarrassments were followed by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW), a nonpartisan campaign watchdog group’s, filing a damaging criminal complaint against the O’Donnell campaign with the Delaware U.S. Attorney’s Office and the Federal Election Commission. The complaint alleges that more than $20,000 of O’Donnell’s spending in 2009 and 2010 was illegal because O’Donnell was no longer a candidate for any political office. CREW has charged that that O’Donnell routinely used campaign funds to pay for personal expenses such as meals and gas as well as to pay her personal rent and for personal travel expenses.

Well, that is certainly more than most intellectually-challenged, gay-baiting, devil-worshipping, tax-evading, donation-abusing, non-masturbators could handle. Consequently, O’Donnell told Fox News’ Sean Hannity Tuesday night that she’s not going to do any more national media interviews prior to the November election. That is certainly one way of avoiding those embarrassing questions that have surfaced regarding O’Donnell’s lifestyle and actions. Indeed, avoiding the media at all costs is the cowardly yet time proven method of all Tea-Baggers including Sarah Palin and Nevada senatorial hopeful, Sharron Angle. But is it a winning tactic? Not so far. Palin lost her only national election and Angle and O’Donnell have not yet faced a general election. But the most recent Delaware poll reveals that O’Donnell’s challenger enjoys a 16% advantage over the Tea-Bagger. According to a CNN/Time/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Wednesday, 55 percent of likely voters in Delaware say that they are backing Democratic Senate nominee Chris Coons, with 39 percent saying they support GOP nominee Christine O’Donnell. Among the wider pool of registered voters, Coons’ leads O’Donnell by a whopping 25 points. Ouch, that is gonna leave a mark.

Christine O’Donnell also has to worry about those bodies that Bill Mahar will continue to throw out there before election day if she continues to avoid an appearance on his program. What a suspenseful game of chicken is developing before our very eyes. What will happen?

Well, we now know what happened. Christine O’Donnell went on to make many more embarrassing blunders during her campaign; she was crushed in the general election; she faded into the background and she has re-emerged by virtue of her poor selling new book.

Ah Christine, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Everyday I Write The Book” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFunjzyIsE&feature=player_embedded

EVERYDAY SHE WRITES HER BOOK

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Everyday I Write The Book”)

We must thank the Lord up above us
O’Donnell is such a go-getter
We’ll soon learn much more ‘bout this debtor
She got few votes, but she won’t be a footnote
She’s a girl on a mission writing her first edition

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Chapter One, masturbating is just so wrong
Chapter Two, the recipe for witch’s brew
Her times with Hannity are the subject of Chapter Three
All of those embarrassing pics in Chapters Four, Five and Six

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

The lies she hawked
Her hate-fueled talk, she was so pissy, we laughed
In four or five paragraphs
Christine’s vile nonsense and her insane remarks
Are captured there in her quotation marks

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Everyday she writes her book

Tho’ her book may be met with indifference
She’s not a lover she’s a fighter
With her pen and her electric typewriter
She’ll be living in her world as a martyr with no equal
She’ll still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book

Palin’s Midnight Ride Through Historical Inaccuracy And Revisionism

Those are Sarah Palin’s words spoken while in Boston, the Cradle of Liberty last week. Let’s try to decipher that word salad, shall we?

“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells”. OK, first of all the purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”.

She also said, “as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells.” Again, Revere never rode through town ringing bells or sending warning shots. His ride was to be conducted surreptitiously because of the fear of spies in colonial ranks.

Palin also said that the purpose of the ride was to warn the British “we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” No, this was not the purpose. After completing his ride, Revere was captured by British soldiers. They held a gun to his head and said that they would blow his brains out if he did not confess the Colonists’ plans. Paul Revere then told them what he had done under threat of death. At no time prior to or during his ride did he intentionally warn the British of anything. As for the bells and musket shots, it was the Colonists who used that form of signal to instruct each other that it was time to amass. That happened however, after the ride was completed and Paul Revere had been apprehended.

These facts come directly from the official history posted at The Paul Revere House and from Paul Revere’s personal diary.

In the next few weeks you will read and hear a lot of Palin apologists attempting to revise what she said to more accurately reflect what really happened in 1775. Do not believe any of it and force them to use Palin’s own words to defend their assertions. Do not be persuaded by any unqualified pseudo-historians that Fox News is certain to trot out. Fox will never reveal that those folks will have had a history of either defending Palin or the conservative right. Remind them that Palin has a long history of getting historical facts completely wrong.

Remember, this is also the fool who said that the founding fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance at their meetings when in fact, the pledge was not even written until more than 100 years later. She also said, that Susan B. Anthony opposed abortion by saying, “Susan B. Anthony saw the fight for the rights of the unborn as part of the broader fight for women’s rights.” She also said that the First amendment defends against media attacks!

Bill Maher summed up the Palin situation best when he said, “Sarah Palin should not be on summer vacation. She should be in summer school.”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Johnny B. Goode song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUuE_WaTZGY

PALIN, SHE’S GOOD

 (sung to the Chuck Berry song “Johnny B. Goode”)

While visiting ol’ Boston in designer jeans
Sarah Palin told us what the “Midnight Ride” means
While at the Old North Church in Paul Revere’s hood
It all became quite clear just what she understood
She never ever learned to read or write so well,
And boy what a whopper of a tale she did tell

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go, Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Palin, she’s good

She told us Paul Revere warned the Brits of our attack
By firing warning shots to make them go back
Oh, and he was ringing bells while riding through glen and glade
You just wouldn’t believe all the damn racket he made
People he passed by they would stop and say,
“What happened to the lanterns in the church today?”

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go, Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Palin, she’s good

(publicity stunt break)

Revisionism is the Sarah Palin plan
She wants the children’s history books to be banned
Palin cannot tell a verb from a noun
But she knows men used to ride dinosaurs around
She thinks Ben Franklin discovered the kite
Do you think that she could be right?

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Palin, she’s good.

Christine O’Donnell Says “No” To Dancing But “Yes” To Writing

Unfortunately, we learned this morning that we will be deprived of the chance to laugh out loud at this season’s version of “Dancing With The Stars”. It was announced that Christine O’Donnell will not participate in the greatly anticipated parade of fools. This means that we have been denied the opportunity to guffaw at yet another political conservative as they try to get their “cool-on”. Remember Tom “Convicted Felon” Delay’s effeminate rendition of “Wild Thing”? Could anyone forget Bristol Palin’s gorilla suit? Oh, what could have been as Christine O’Donnell donned her witch costume or pranced around carrying a vibrator.

But alas, we must carry-on without the twice-failed Teapublican candidate for a Delaware Senate seat. There is a silver lining however. In a statement, O’Donnell says she instead wants to devote her time to completing a book on the 2010 election. She said:

“I’m honored to have been invited to participate in one of the few uplifting TV shows out there. The physical challenge made it all the more appealing. Meeting challenges head-on makes us stronger. Yet, for now, I have another challenge before me; to complete a book that tells the story of the 2010 election cycle with the dignity and respect it deserves. It is my hope that this book will serve as a clarion call to my fellow citizen-activists by taking the reader beyond petitions and protests and articulating not just what we should do, but why we must do it.”

“My goal is for the book and the new PAC I’m starting to serve as resources to activate and motivate those in this middle-class movement who worked so hard to launch the new revolution. If either of these projects were further along, I would be lacing up my dancing shoes right now.”

Christine O’Donnell will follow in the footsteps of her “Mama Grizzly” Sarah Palin and write a memoir. It is certain to be a compelling read as she describes in lurid detail, her date on a satanic alter. She may relate all her deep insightful bedtime thoughts while she was busy not masturbating. She might more fully describe her statement to Bill Maher that “evolution is a myth”. She can even provide us with her interpretation of the U.S. Constitution which she believes provides for a full co-mingling of church and state. Finally, we can only assume that the final chapter will be devoted to her defense of the federal investigation into her alleged misuse of campaign contributions for such personal purposes as rent, food and vacation travel. Oh, this book should be a doozy.

Stay tuned for more details.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Everyday I Write The Book” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFunjzyIsE&feature=player_embedded

EVERYDAY SHE WRITES HER BOOK

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Everyday I Write The Book”)

We must thank the Lord up above us
O’Donnell is such a go-getter
We’ll soon learn much more ‘bout this debtor
She got few votes, but she won’t be a footnote
She’s a girl on a mission writing her first edition

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Chapter One, masturbating is just so wrong
Chapter Two, the recipe for witch’s brew
Her times with Hannity are the subject of Chapter Three
All of those embarrassing pics in Chapters Four, Five and Six

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

The lies she hawked
Her hate-fueled talk, she was so pissy, we laughed
In four or five paragraphs
Christine’s vile nonsense and her insane remarks
Are captured there in her quotation marks

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Everyday she writes her book

Tho’ her book may be met with indifference
She’s not a lover she’s a fighter
With her pen and her electric typewriter
She’ll be living in her world as a martyr with no equal
She’ll still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book

Christine O’Donnell: The Contrarian Delawarean

 

My candidacy is a laugh riot!

 

Remember a few weeks ago when Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell, the Tea Party/Republican candidate for Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat said that she would no longer provide interviews to national media sources? Her exact words were, “I’m not going to do any more national media because that – this is my focus. Delaware is my focus and the local media is my focus.” Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the polygraph test. O’Donnell has broken her vow.

The non-masturbating evolution-denier appeared for a taped interview on CNN‘s “The Situation Room” last Thursday. In a wide-ranging interview on a series of national issues, O’Donnell promised to vote to make the Bush tax cuts permanent. She also double-dared the President to veto any bill that would repeal health care reform. “If Barack Obama vetoes that the year before his reelection he’s setting himself up to be very vulnerable and I’ve seen many Hillary for President ads running,” O’Donnell said. Asked whether she believes human activity contributes to climate change, O’Donnell responded: “I don’t have an opinion on that.”

She also said that she is not planning to go on Bill Maher’s “Real Time” program between now and Election Day. To O’Donnell her past statements to Maher are not at stake in this closely watched race. “What I said or did on a comedy show, you know, over a decade ago is not relevant in this election,” O’Donnell said.

Well, the Delaware voters will be the judge of that.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. Please enjoy.

Oh, Carol song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL8z9gwE1Ko&feature=related

O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Oh, Carol”)

O’Donnell
We wonder what Bill Maher will say
He loves to air your rants
On his show each and every day

His video machine has the proof no doubt
It shows you ranting like a fool while you just jump and shout
We’re lookin’ at you sideways as you scheme and lie
Now that asylum door is open, you can go inside
Your tall and pointy witch’s hat makes you look so glam
You have the personality of a store bought canned ham

O’Donnell
We love the crazy things you say
And your satanic rants
Will haunt you on election day

(Chinese classified information viewing break)

We all watch “Real Time” to hear what you’ve been sayin’
There is no evolution and no masturbatin’
Sarah Palin is your mentor but can she be proud
Of endorsing a lunatic that is dumb and loud?
You have no chance, you know that’s understood
Voters despise you, baby, cuz you are no good

O’Donnell
Get right down on your knees and pray
Cuz you don’t stand a chance
Of winning on election day

O’Donnell
We wonder what Bill Maher will say
He loves to air your rants
On his show each and every day

Where, Oh Where Has Christine O’Donnell Gone?

Remember a few weeks ago when Christine O’Donnell the Tea Party/Republican nominee seeking Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat announced that she would no longer speak to the national media and would only communicate with local Delaware-based media outlets for the duration of her campaign?

We could all understood her strategy at the time because she had recently been pummeled by a host of embarrassing revelations about both her personal and political past that had been uncovered by the national press.

First we learned of her call for a masturbation ban. Next, we learned that her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, stating that she had a “date on a satanic alter”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.” (Maher, by the way, claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election).

Then, last week O’Donnell joined “the Twitter” and immediately emulated her mentor Sarah Palin by authoring an absolutely indecipherable tweet having something to do with “GOP porkers.” And that was followed by a new quote of her’s that also caused her campaign some non-meatball induced heartburn. CNN reported that according to the Associated Press, the unlikely Delaware GOP Senate nominee said in 2006 that she was “privy to” classified information that China was engaged in a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.” Of course, her ever-secretive campaign has refused to respond to questions as to just what type of “classified information” O’Donnell claims to have been “privy to” or why she had access to classified information in the first place.

As the result of all of this prying into her past by the well funded and research-capable national media, it is no wonder that O’Donnell has elected to only confer with the less well funded and presumably less research-capable local Delaware media outlets. That being said however, where in the wide, wide world of witchcraft has O’Donnell been since her announcement? We have not heard a peep from her other than her hilarious television advertisement in which she says, “I am not a witch”. Where are the reports from the local media?

Well, that is precisely what the good folks at CNN have been wondering. Political producer Shannon Travis reports:

Some local reporters that I’ve spoke to here in Delaware claim that the Republican Senate nominee has largely avoided the local media. O’Donnell has publicly stated she would avoid contact with the national press.

So we set out to find the candidate. Or, at least, information on her public campaign schedule.


My producer, cameraman and I drove to Delaware. This after sending numerous e-mails to campaign staffers and calling them repeatedly over the past eight days – each time getting scant response.

We arrived at O’Donnell’s new campaign headquarters in Wilmington, greeted by an empty receptionist’s chair. In the corner of the small room was a locked door, with sounds of voices heard on the other side.

We knocked until someone answered.

Two men emerged and asked for our credentials, but refused to identify themselves – at least initially. They later told us their names: Campaign Manager Matt Moran and Chris Merola.

They explained that O’Donnell is standing by her pledge to avoid the national press. But both men were emphatic that O’Donnell is not avoiding local media. They rattled off a list of local reporters and news outlets the candidate has spoken to since winning the Republican Senate primary three weeks ago.

Both men explained how the campaign is ramping up a staff that was small for the primary but needs to be much larger for the general election.

As for their initial suspicions about who we were, they explained that not everyone in the press is appropriately neutral -so they’re often leery of reporters.

Thanks CNN, for solving that mystery. Now the good people of Delaware can get back to the good work of electing Democrat Chris Coons to that Senate seat.

By the way, the two most recent polls show that Coons has a double digit lead over O’Donnell. A Fairleigh Dickinson University PublicMind survey released yesterday indicates that 53% of likely voters in Delaware are supporting Coons, with 36% backing O’Donnell (it is interesting to note that Fairleigh Dickinson is O’Donnell’s alma mater, so let’s see if she criticizes the poll). Additionally, a University of Delaware Center for Political Communication survey also released yesterday, shows that 49% of Delaware registered voters support Coons with 30% backing O’Donnell.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Sympathy For The Devil song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk

SYMPATHY FOR O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy For The Devil”)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m in the Delaware race
I’ve been around for a couple of years
And I never masturbate

Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ
Has spoken through my campaign
He’ll keep Bill Maher quiet
Seal his mouth as I spread hate

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is my obsession with fame

Do you dare to trust my word
After I robbed my donors of their change
Paid my rent and then I secured
New furniture and a gas-fired range

The sulfur stank
Like a septic tank
On my witchcraft stage
Oh so dark and dank

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

That Sarah P.
Is my Tea-Bag Queen
I drank the Kool-Aid
That she proudly made

I shouted out
“Let’s kill Ted Kennedy”
Cuz his Health Plan’s
Killing you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I am Delaware’s disgrace
And a Tea Party troubadour
Singing lies every day of this race

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, oh yeah, get down, baby

(evolution denial break)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game, um yeah

Just as Medicare is criminal
Republicans are saints
Dumb as Dan Quayle
Just call me O’Donnell
Watch as I apply my war-paint

Coons will defeat me
He’ll refer to me
As the mental-case in this race
Use all his well-learned politics
As he lays my soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
O’Donnell is my name, um yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me honey, don’t ya love my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
If I lose this race, you’re to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who

Alright
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

Christine O’Donnell: Oops, She Did It Again!

What would we do these days without Christine O’Donnell? Inasmuch as our usual target of ridicule, Sarah Palin, has been keeping a low profile by means of only communicating with reality via Facebook and Twitter, O’Donnell has had to fill the void. And, boy oh boy, has she ever stepped up to the plate and whacked a few out of the park!

Every day now, O’Donnell gives us another glimpse into her twisted mind and lifestyle. First we had her call for a masturbation ban. Next, her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.”. Best of all, Mahar claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election.

But wait. That is not all. Last week O’Donnell joined “the Twitter” and immediately emulated her mentor Palin by authoring an absolutely indecipherable tweet having something to do with “GOP porkers.” And now we have a new quote from her that is sure to cause her campaign some non-meatball induced heartburn. CNN reports that according to the Associated Press, the unlikely Delaware GOP Senate nominee said in 2006 that she was privy to classified information that China was engaged in a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.”

“There’s much I want to say. I wish I wasn’t privy to some of the classified information that I am privy to,” O’Donnell said during a Republican primary debate in 2006. She went on to say, “We have to look at our history and realize that if they pretend to be our friend it’s because they’ve got something up their sleeve.” As expected, her ever-secretive campaign has refused to respond to questions as to just what type of “classified information” O’Donnell claims to have been “privy to” or why she had access to classified information in the first place.

It is now a confirmed fact that Christine O’Donnell carries more baggage than a Greyhound Bus. Inasmuch as recent polls show she trails Democrat Chris Coons by double digits, it is time to stick a fork in O’Donnell because she is done.

Witchy Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d8hZtvRPno

WITCHY WOMAN (O’DONNELL VERSION)

(sung to the Eagles song “Witchy Woman”)

Crazy stare on Bill Maher’s clips
She is one of Palin’s dips
O’Donnell is our delight
She’s a crazy Tea-Bagger that’s not too bright
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

I watched Bill Maher the other night
O’Donnell was so uptight
She said Charles Darwin was out of tune,
And his evolution theory was so untrue
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

(masturbation break with oohs and ahhhs)

She can’t seem to keep a lover,
Let me tell ya brother, she’s been sleeping in the Devil’s bed.
And there’s some rumors going round,
Polls are headed down
November will be the right time
To strike this witch dead

Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 35

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Why Am I Not Surprised?” features Arizona state senator Russell Pearce who authored his state’s newly enacted racist immigrant law. Crooks and Liars has revealed that Senator Pearce is rather chummy with a guy named J.T. Ready, who also happens to be one of Arizona’s leading neo-Nazis. “May I see your papers, please?”

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Rush To Judgment” features who else but Rush Limbaugh. Media Matters reports, “With a controversial immigration bill signed into law in Arizona and President Obama’s call ‘to make sure that the young people, African-Americans, Latinos, and women who powered our victory in 2008 stand together once again,’ it was little wonder that Rush would have a particularly racially charged show today (April 26th). Limbaugh pointed out that Obama didn’t specifically call on Democrats to ‘reconnect with white people’ and took off from there. Discussing the campaign video, Rush said, ‘This is the regime at its racist best,’ and that Obama ‘has purposely come to divide people” on racial lines’.”

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Boy, Do I Hope She Is Right” features Democratic Party candidate Tarryl Clark who is running against moonbat-crazy Republican Michele Bachmann for the US Senate. Of Bachmann, Clark said, “She’ll still be on Fox News after I defeat her”. Let’s hope so.

THIS JUST IN: In a rare weekly twofer, this week’s episode of “Welcome To The Alternative Universe”  also features right wing radio comedian, Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh’s understanding of the world which surrounds him is so distorted that this week he announced that the oil spill catastrophe in the Gulf was actually the fault of environmentalists and the Obama Administration. Yes, you read that correctly. He claimed that the initial explosion and fire at the rig was caused by explosives planted by environmentalists and then he blamed the resulting environmentally disastrous effects upon the federal government’s failure to step in sooner with remediation methods. Of course Limbaugh laid no blame upon the foreign BP corporation for failing to safeguard its own rig from malfunction, for downplaying the significance of its massive malfunction for nearly a week and for balking at assuming the costs of remediation. Rush Limbaugh is simply a propagandist buffoon.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Boycott For Change” features the thousands upon thousands of American citizens that have elected to boycott the State of Arizona so long as its recently enacted racial profiling inspired anti immigrant law remains in effect. Conventions, hotel bookings and vacations galore to Arizona have been canceled or moved to other states in the last week by socially conscious Americans who can smell a stink when it stinks. Bravo!

THIS JUST IN:  Here is a little poem about Sarah Palin. Remember when “shrill baby, shrill” proclaimed on her “hill baby, hill” that we should “drill baby, drill” with no worry of “spill baby, baby spill”?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Another One Bites the Dust” features Florida Governor Charlie Crist. As the result of of poor polling numbers against conservative Republican challenger Marco “Polo” Rubio, the moderate Republican Crist has elected to ditch the G.O.P. and run as an Independent ala Joe “Say It Ain’t So” Lieberman. The Republican herd is thinning by natural selection.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “I couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself” features  Bill Maher who this week twittered, “Every asshole who ever chanted ‘Drill Baby Drill’ should have to report to the Gulf Coast today for cleanup duty”.

BREAKING NEWS:  In a very rare threepeat, this week’s episode of ” The Next Time You Say Something, Try To Have A Point” features who else but Rush Limbaugh. In response to former President Bill Clinton saying “right-wing, radio talk-show hosts” kept people in “white heat” nearly 15 years ago before the deadly Oklahoma City bombing, and warning against similar anger in the age of Obama, Limbaugh says,  the Clinton and the Obama “regime” are the ones that have “set the stage for violence.” he also says,”Bill Clinton … just gave the kooks out there an excuse to be violent. He just offered them an opportunity to be violent.” Huh? Has Limbaugh now modeled his ability to reason on that of Sarah Palin?

By the way Rush, when is your big move to Costa Rica?

In honor of Rush Limbaugh’s triple inclusion in today’s blog post it seems appropriate to feature him in today’s song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s parody.

Mockingbird song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOqD3uMIRs&feature=related

TALKING TURD

(sung to the Carly Simon/James Taylor song “Mockingbird”)

Talk (yeah) ing (yeah) turd (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Talking Turd

Now, everybody sure has heard
Rush Limbaugh the big fat talking turd
That loudmouth talking turd is king
Of all those racists in the right-wing
But those in the right-wing front line
Are busy planning for their next hate crime
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

Hear me now and understand
Rush lives only to hate and malign
And if ratings decline someday
Limbaugh will spread hate in another way
And if that other way makes dough
He’ll ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

(musical interlude)

Now, everyone should doubt his word
Rush Limbaugh is just a talking turd
And when that talking turd does sing
We can tell he’s just a ding-a-ling
And when that ding-a-ling just whines
Yes, Republicans will still think he shines
And there’s a reason why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Listen now and understand
Rush Limbaugh surely has lost his mind
And though he drugged his mind away
The right-wing nuts still listen everyday
Like Sarah Palin and that Plumber, Joe
He’s a dead fish that just “goes with the flow”
And that’s the reason why he keeps on spreadin’ all that fear
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now, baby

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