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Message To Rick Perry: “Read My Lips. NO NEW TEXANS” !!!

The next time some crazy Tea Party memberr tries to convince you that Bible-thumping Republican Rick Perry would make a great President because of his job creation record in Texas, return the volley with some hard hitting facts.

Inform the Perry fans that although Texas has led the nation in job creation for the last few years, Texas also leads the nation in producing jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage. Additionally, employment in Texas has been evenly growing for some 20 years which is long before Perry became governor. You should also point out the fact that despite that job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.2 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.6 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. In contrast, Texas ranks 50th in the nation when it comes to the percentage of its residents that have health insurance. Perry claims that the national health care reform law which was enacted in 2010 by President Obama is a jobs killer, but the Massachusetts example proves otherwise.

Furthermore, NPR informs us that Texas’ job growth was also helped by the fact that there is “no corporate income tax, no state income tax, and environmental and other state regulations on Texas businesses are kept to a minimum.” Consequently, many corporations have elected to abandon other states and move to Texas. That may suit the purposes of a Texas governor, but it would not help a President who represents all 50 states. It is not job creation for the nation when jobs are reduced in one state and added in another.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Rick Perry’s lack of critical thought was quite evident just this week when he accused Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke of treason if he chose to increase the nation’s money supply. It is hard to imagine that the head of the Fed could commit treason simply by means of performing the duties of his job which are to adjust the money supply. It is a particularly laughable statement when one considers that it was Rick Perry himself who threatened to commit a treasonous act when he suggested in 2009, that Texas may have to secede from the the United States.

These facts should provide all you fellow Rocketeers with ample ammunition when battling Rick Perry supporters. if you really want to get under their skin, tell them: “Read my lips. NO NEW TEXANS!”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a Gov. named Rick
Just like George Bush, a dumb and backwards hick
The Texans know they earn money for their food
Not cuz Rick’s around, it’s that bubbling crude
(Oil that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea)

As for sick folks Rick just hasn’t got a care
No insurance, all they have is prayer
Washington DC is the place he wants to be
So he threw his name in  for the Presidency
(Crazy that is, Bachmann, Newt Gingrich)

(academic probation break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Rick and all his kin,
He is in New Hampshire raisin’ dough and campaignin’
He doesn’t know squat ‘bout economic policy
But that does not matter to those fools that drink his tea.
(Perry’s a hillbilly, that’s what we’ll call him now, cow polk)
Y’all come back now, y’hear?

Palin Attacks The Fed As G.O.P. Attacks Palin (Again)

The midterm elections are now history (with the exception of the Alaska Senate race and a few Congressional races) and Sarah Palin has returned to her old stomping grounds. No, not Alaska, but rather the second-rate paid speakers’ circuit. In her never-ending pursuit to squeeze every last penny out of her supporters, the former ex-quitting half-term governor has once again found business conventions to be a good forum to spread her poison.  The more prestigious gatherings have previously shunned the divisive Palin, leaving her to speak at such lowly events as the Liquor Wholesalers’ Convention, the Bowling Convention and the Battery Back-Up Sump Pump Convention. Well, here she goes again. Yesterday, Palin was the keynote speaker at the Specialty Tools & Fasteners Distributors Association Convention in Phoenix, Arizona.

The subject of her ire is now Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and his newly released “quantitative easing” plan. In its latest move to jump start the sluggish recovery, the Federal Reserve announced last week it will pump billions into the economy by buying $600 billion in long-term U.S. Treasury bonds over the next eight months – policy known as quantitative easing.

It is obvious that the educationally challenged Palin has no understanding of the plan or its underlying economic theory, but you can count on her to be against any measure which takes place during the Obama administration regardless of its merit. Of course she leaked the subject of her speech by means of the sophomoric means of communication known as Twitter. She tweeted, “Will discuss Fed’s quantitative easing plan(print $ out of thin air)tmrrw@ tools trade assn speech” and “Today:trade speech;tmrw school event 2 start discussing QuantitativeEasing w kids around US so they prepare 4 Feds experiment w their future.”

Oh, good God, the lowly scholar from five different safety schools now wants to teach economics to school children? Will she charge the kids a fee? Let’s hope “No Child Left Behind” is fully funded so as to counter this educational disaster in the making. If there was ever a day to keep your children out of school, it is the day that Sarah Palin appears and tries to teach them.

But, while Sarah Palin was busy attacking the Fed, the Republican establishment continued its attacks against her. Numerous G.O.P. leaders have already voiced their opposition to Sarah Palin’s potential run for president by suggesting that she would be “crushed” by President Obama in a general election. Now another Republican critic has emerged. CNN reports that Rep. Spencer Bachus of Alabama told a local Chamber of Commerce group that the candidates backed by the Tea Party and Palin may be to blame for the Republican Party’s failure to take back control of the Senate in last week’s midterm elections.

“The Senate would be Republican today except for states (in which Palin endorsed candidates) like Christine O’Donnell in Delaware,” Bachus said, according to the Shelby County Reporter. “Sarah Palin cost us control of the Senate.”

Stay tuned to Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off for tomorrow’s thrilling episode of “Republicans Eating Their Own“.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Every Little Thing song link:


(sung to the Beatles song “Every Little Thing”)

Palin’s talking provides her
A pay-day in Kentucky
Yes, you know she’s the lucky kind
She holds onto her first dime
She’s a phony sellout girl
Can’t stop blinking and winking now

Every little thing she does
Is for a fee, yeah
And there’s not one thing she does
She’ll do for free, oooh

Sarah Palin is daffy
Don’t you know that she bugs me?
Yet the Tea Party loves her now
Still there’s one thing I’m sure of
President she’ll be, never
But her cash lust will never die

Every little thing she does
Is for a fee, yeah
And there’s not one thing she does
She’ll do for free, oooh

(grifting break)

Every little thing she does
Is for a fee, yeah
And there’s not one thing she does
She’ll do for free, oooh
Every little thing
Every little thing