Blog Archives

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 43

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wondeful day.

BREAKING NEWS: Newly elected nudist Republican Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts has pissed-off Tea-Baggers and Republicans nationwide once again by breaking with the G.O.P.  and siding with Democrats by voting in favor of the Financial Reform Bill. The Obama administration can now claim another important legislative victory and this time it can boast of bi-partisan support. Maine’s Republican Senators, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins joined Brown in supporting the bill. Brown, Snowe and Collins defy their party and side with the Democrats so often on controversial legislation that it is only a matter of time before all three pull an Arlen Specter and switch parties.

THIS JUST IN: Senator David “Diapers” Vitter (R-LA) has stepped in it yet again. during an appearance on Rush Radio 99.5 in New Orleans Friday morning, During which the radio hosts joked about a high school photo of MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Vitter said that she only looked like a woman “a long time ago.” This childish remark follows almost immediately on the heels of Vitter’s statement last week which revealed him as a “Birther”. It was also revealed just a few weeks ago that after one of his staffers had pled guilty to attacking a woman with a knife, Vitter failed to terminate the staffer’s employment, and failed to even re-assign the man from his position as legislative assistant for women’s issues. Of course all of these blunders pale in comparison to the revelation a few years ago that Vitter solicited prostitutes while wearing baby diapers. In short, David Vitter is a train wreck.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s call A Spade A Spade” features Tea Party Express spokesman, Mark Williams. Williams was so upset at the NAACP’s call for the Tea Party to denounce racism amongst its members, that he penned a letter allegedly from NAACP president Benjamin Jealous to the late President Abraham Lincoln and posted it in his blog (it has now been removed). “Dear Mr. Lincoln,” the blog post read, “We [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People and we demand that it stop!” Williams made several modifications to his blog post after its initial posting, including removing references to bailouts as “big money welfare” that should handed “directly to us coloreds” and Tea Party demands for lower taxes preventing black Americans from getting “a wide-screen TV in every room.” So much for the Tea Party’s claim that it does not condone racism.

THIS JUST IN: I just received my invitation to the Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston wedding. The theme of the wedding is “Shotgun”. The ceremony will be performed at Our Lady of the Blessed Travesty Church in Wasilla, Alaska with the reception to follow at Mama Bear’s Buffet (BYOB).

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “What the Beck Is He Talking About?” features none other than Fox News joke Glenn Beck. In a stunning revelation of the fact that the Bible thumping alcoholic knows absolutely nothing about Christianity, Beck said this on his show last week,

This is kind of complex, because Jesus did identify with the victims. But Jesus was not a victim. He was a conqueror…Jesus conquered death. He wasn’t victimized. He chose to give his life….If he was a victim, and this theology was true, then Jesus would’ve come back from the dead and made the Jews pay for what they did. That’s an abomination.

Would someone please remind the chancellor of Glenn Beck University that the Romans crucified Jesus and not the Jews.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

Nita Dunn took him down
And Glenn’s face grew bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

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Educationally Challenged Sarah Palin Is Also A Political Ignoramus

“Ignoramus”: An utterly ignorant person: Dunce. Merriam-Webster seems to have included a word which defines Sarah Palin perfectly. The former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska provided a shining example of her ignorance once again on Wednesday night when she appeared as a guest on the Fox News comedy show known as Hannity. Newshounds informs us that Palin was invited on the show to discuss the primary races and the special election in Pennsylvania for the deceased John Murtha’s seat. Republican Tim Burns ran against Democrat Mark Critz in that election. But when Sean Hannity asked Palin about the contest, she seemed to think Burns was running against Senator Arlen Specter. Of course, Specter was in a primary race against fellow Democrat Joe Sestak (who won). Palin nevertheless predicted Burns would win. He lost decisively.

Sean Hannity said, “the race that I am most interested in tonight… and that is the Pennsylvania 12 race. And here you have John Murtha’s old seat, he held for all these years – two-to-one Democrat to Republican in the district. It’s literally neck and neck… If Burns pulls this off tonight, what would that say to you?”

Sarah Palin responded, “I think Burns will pull this off tonight. And just like the Rand-slide that we were just talking about, you’re gonna see Burns, having this representation of a smaller, smarter government, getting the economy back on the right track with limited overreach of the governments (sic). That’s what Burns stands for. And, you know, Specter, he was a representative of bigger government, even when he was within the Republican Party. And people are saying, ‘When you consider what it is that he stood for and voted on and represented, enough is enough.’ That’s not what our country needs today. We need someone like Tim Burns in there. And you’re gonna see that via vote today with the electorate.”

So, in summation, Sarah Palin did not know who the candidates were in the elections upon which she was asked to comment and she was wrong when she predicted that Tim Burns would win. Two strikes. We cannot wait for the next pitch.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s new song parody.

I’m A Believer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfuBREMXxts

SHE’S A DECEIVER

(sung to the Monkees song “I’m A Believer”)

She tells about as much truth as fairy tails
She considers herself “mavericky”
Russia she claims to see
So say’s Sarah P.
She and Bristol were both pregnant teens

Nose grows on her face, cuz she’s a deceiver
Not a trace, of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

She walked out the door cuz she’s a quittin’ thing
Palin up and caved when things got hot
She never stopped lyin’
Sarah sounds insane
Even though there’s sunshine, she says rain

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

Ohhh, McCain didn’t vet she
When he formed his team
Then Palin went and blew his dreams

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
She’s a deceiver
She’s a deceiver
She’s a deceiver

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 26

Just a few noteworthy political meteorites and comments thereon that have been careening around the galaxy this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: This past week during an on-air radio broadcast that he shared with crazy  Michele Bachmann (Tea Party) MN, Arlen Specter (D) PA was repeatedly interrupted by the nutcase until he found it necessary to put her in her place. Politico.com reports that Bachmann first laid out her agenda — cutting taxes and killing President Obama’s health reform bill — at considerable length. When Arlen Specter tried to counter, Bachmann, darling of the Tea Party movement, kept on talking, which didn’t sit well with the one-time Philadelphia DA, who is a stickler for politeness and protocol. “I’m going to treat you like a lady,” Mr. Specter shot back. “Now act like one.” When Bachmann continued to interrupt him on at least two more occasions, Specter again told her to “act like a lady” each time. Bachmann seems to be suffering from a case of “Once, Twice, Three times not a lady”!

THIS JUST IN: John Edwards is actually the father of his mistress’ baby? Wow, we never saw that one coming!

BREAKING NEWS: Last Thursday, the five conservative, activist U.S.  Supreme Court Justices effectively transferred the power of electing politicians from the people of the United States to corporations (including foreign controlled domestic corporations). In the case of Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission the Supreme Court effectively wiped out corporate campaign spending limits and now corporations can open their almost limitless coffers to influence elections throughout the United States. The net result is that business friendly Republican candidates will benefit while Democratic party candidates will be penalized. It will be interesting to see how the Tea-Baggers react to the decision. After all, the Tea Party prides itself on returning power to the people and its members are steadfast in their opposition to recent corporate bailouts. Consequently, common sense would dictate that the Tea-Baggers would be furious at the decision. The problem is that the Tea-Baggers in general are uneducated, gun-toting dolts and probably cannot read well enough to understand the implications of the decision. Your next President may be brought to you by the generosity of Sony Corporation.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “This Guy Gets Creepier Every Day” features newly elected Massachusetts Republican Senator Scott Brown. First he posed nude for a Cosmopolitan magazine centerfold. Then, at his election victory party he pimped out his daughters by announcing that they are both available. Now a strange photo of Brown and his daughters has surfaced in which Scott leeringly smiles while hugging his teeny-weeny-bikini clad daughters. Maybe it is just me, but every time I am exposed to Scott Brown, I feel the need to take a shower thereafter.

BREAKING NEWS: “RIP” Air America Radio. We are sad to announce that the progressive radio network filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last Thursday and ceased all live broadcasting. Let’s hope that another stronger voice for progressive politics will be born in the near future.

THIS JUST IN: The Tea Party movement suffered another embarrassment last week. Marine Sgt. Charles Dyer a/k/a “July4Patriot” and outspoken member of the “Oath Keepers” bloc of the Tea Party movement has been arrested on charges of rape of a child and forced sodomy. Additionally during the search of his home, authorities uncovered several firearms and a grenade launcher. This is just another example of a Tea-Bagger being a dangerous lunatic.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Don’t Make Me Get My Irish Up” features me. My anger is directed at the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas and its God Hates Ireland Website. The Irish nation has recently passed laws which prohibit discrimination based upon sexual preference. Here is what the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas had to say about that,

Ireland has absolutely failed its duty to God. It has been wholly given over to the idea that it is okay to be a filthy fag. They have allowed their fags to establish themselves at every level of society, especially in the government. A law called “An Act to Prohibit Incitement to Hatred on Account of Sexual Orientation” has been enacted by the wicked lawmakers in Ireland to eliminate any true gospel preaching there.

How’s that for a big heaping dose of loving Christianity? Pat Robertson would feel right at home with this group of haters.

THIS JUST IN: For those of you that are interested in removing moon-bat crazy Michele Bachmann from office, here are a couple of blogs that you might want to take a look at;

Dump Bachmann, and Michelle Bachmann for President…of Crazy

BREAKING NEWS: The website CultureMap.com has an interesting article about a potential feud between Fox News’ two most outlandishly foolish pundits. They anticipate a turf war between Glenn “My Crying Eyes” Beck and Sarah “My Winking Eyes” Palin.

Reports are surfacing that Glenn Beck is concerned he might be pushed out of his coveted time slot with Fox News and replaced by former Alaska Governor and GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

There doesn’t seem to be any love lost between these two political media heavy weights. Beck has already predicted that Palin won’t get the Republican nomination in 2012. “I’ve decided that Sarah Palin cannot be president of the United States until she can eviscerate somebody like you,” Beck told Bill O’Reilly in a recent Fox News broadcast. “She’s playing defense right now, and I’m not convinced she wants to be president.” Beck has not been too kind towards Palin since she joined Fox News. “I’ve never met anybody with shields up more than Sarah Palin,” he said.

Meanwhile, Palin is linked with every new Republican star that wins an election. Blogs are now teaming her with Scott Brown as a potential vice presidential pick if she wins the nomination, even though that’s a long way off. Brown won Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat in Massachusetts in an upset of epic proportions. There are even suggestions Beck and Palin could battle it out over who becomes the de facto leader of the surging “Tea Party”  expected to play a crucial role in this fall’s elections.

As usual, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourelves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s double helping of song parodies. One for Glenn Beck and one for Sarah Palin. Please enjoy.

Crazy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmLS_jkxPRs

HE’S CRAZY

(sung to the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”)

Crazy
Glenn Beck is a demented phony
He’s crazy
Marbles? He’s missing a few

We knew
He was one of Bellevue’s “Most Wanted”
And that someday
He’d make an asylum debut

Sorry
Beck’s on a mental safari
Wondrin’
How did he go so koo-koo

Oh, crazy
Glenn’s crazy and back on the home brew
There’s no use denyin’
Beck can’t stop cryin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
And stupid too

Crazy
We’re not sure that Beck’s not sniffing glue
It seems like he’s flyin’
We’re not just implyin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
We know it’s true

Crazy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmLS_jkxPRs

CRAZY

(sung to the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”)

Crazy
Palin is chock-full of baloney
She’s crazy
Crazy and without a clue

We knew
She’s psychologically haunted
And that someday
She’d make her asylum debut

Sorry
She could be a guest on Maury
Wondrin’
How did she go so koo-koo

Oh, crazy
As crazy as her husband, First Dude
There’s no use denyin’
Cheatin’ and lyin’
Sarah’s crazy
We know it’s true

Crazy
We’re not sure if Palin’s sniffing glue
It seems like she’s flyin’
We’re not just implyin’
Sarah’s crazy
We know it’s true

Arlen is SPECT(er)ACULAR !!!

Arlen Specter sports a new hat.

Arlen Specter sports a new hat.

Regarding Democratic Senator Arlen Specter, perhaps those old Benson & Hedges cigarette ads said it best, “You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby.” It was not too long ago that Specter was a thorn in the side of the Democratic party. He steadfastly held the Republican line on most financial issues and he even vociferously defended the selection of Clarence Thomas as a Supreme Court Justice in the face of the Anita Hill sexual misconduct allegations. In short, Arlen Specter was a powerful senior voice in the opposing camp.

Then last year things began to change in Specter’s ideology. He began to side with Democrats more frequently on both fiscal and social matters. His popularity within the Republican party began to wane and then he surprised the political world by switching parties and helping to achieve the daunted sixty seat filibuster-proof Democratic Senate majority. Even so, some Democrats doubted that he would be a reliable vote on certain issues. After all, he had been a fiscal conservative for so many years. Would he vote with the Democrats on the more progressive issues that catapulted the party to majorities in both houses of congress and the presidency?

This week Specter answered that question resoundingly in the affirmative. UPI.com reports that Specter now fully supports the creation of a robust public option in the health care reform legislation that is presently being debated in both houses. Specter said on Fox News Sunday that Republicans are a “party of obstructionism” on healthcare reform, and, “On the Republican side, it is, ‘no, no, no,’ a party of obstructionism.” He went on to say,  a proposed public option to provide a government-run alternative to private health plans is “gaining momentum” despite opposition from Republicans, and “We had a very forceful speech by President Obama yesterday on his Saturday talk show emphasizing the importance of the robust public option to hold down the profits and bonuses, and I’m not going to step back a bit” .

It is now fair to say that at least with regard to health care reform, Specter is now one of the good guys.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Da Doo Ron Ron song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNiYECUd2ZU

DA DOO LEN  LEN

(sung to the Phil Spector/Ronettes song “Da Doo Ron Ron”)

I met him on a Tuesday and my heart stood still
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len
The Dems will love his vote up on the Hill
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len

Yes, my heart stood still
What? His name’s not Phil?
A new (D) beneath the Dome
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len

I never cared for Arlen, but now he’s my guy
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len
Republicans are crying, my oh my
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len

Yes, now he’s my guy
Let’s watch Mike Steele cry
A new (D) beneath the Dome
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len

Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len

Let’s hope Collins and Snowe will be next in line
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len
Somebody throw the G.O.P. a line
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len

Things, they look so fine
Break out the beer and wine!
A new (D) beneath the Dome
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len

Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len
Da Doo Len Len Len Da Doo Len Len
(repeat and fade out)