Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!
BREAKING NEWS: Remember Doug Hoffman? Sure you do. He was one of the first Tea-Baggers that Sarah Palin endorsed last year. Palin endorsed him in the special election for New York’s 23rd District congressional race instead of the Republican candidate. As the result of Hoffman’s injection in the race, the Republican vote was split, the Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava dropped out of the race and endorsed Democrat Bill Owens and Owens ran away with a huge victory in the election. Somehow Palin managed to help the Democrats win a seat that they had not held for over 100 years. Well, not to be forgotten, Hoffman decided to throw his hat into the regularly scheduled race for the same seat this year. He has also modeled himself after after Sarah Palin because we learned last Tuesday, that like his BFF, he has quit the race. Sarah Palin sure has a way of rubbing off on Tea-Baggers. Vote Democrat Bill Owens!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Damn It, They Caught Me!” features Rand Paul, the moonbat-crazy Tea Party/Republican nominee for a Kentucky U.S. Senate seat. Paul is the guy who disagrees with the 14th Amendment’s prohibition against racial discrimination in privately owned places of public accomodation such as lunch counters and busses. He has also said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments. Vote Democrat Jack Conway in Kentucky!
BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin let slip Tuesday that Dancing With The Stars wanted her husband, Todd “First Dude” Palin to be a contestant – but she didn’t say if he was sought out instead of her daughter Bristol, who is currently appearing on the show and narrowly advanced to the fourth week of competition. “They wanted Todd to be on the show,” Palin remarked during a speaking appearance in Houston. “I think that would have been cool to see, too. But here Bristol is, out of her comfort zone, doing something all new.” Is Sarah implying that ballroom dancing is within Todd’s “comfort zone”? Please Sarah, tell us more.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Out-Foxed” stars, you guessed it, Fox News. The unfair and unbalanced news network was embarrassed last week when it falsely reported that the Los Angeles police purchased 10,000 jet-packs at a cost of $ 100,000.00 each to patrol the city’s streets. Fox’s crack mathematics team was apparently unable to figure out the total price of the fictitious purchase would have been well out of reach for the city in that it equaled ONE BILLION DOLLARS! Need we even mention that Fox picked up the story from the crazy tabloid newspaper known as The World Daily News and ran with it without a fact check? We didn’t think so.
BREAKING NEWS: Joe Miller, the moon-bat, crazy Sarah Palin endorsed Tea Party/Republican nominee for one of Alaska’s U.S. Senate seats has proclaimed that he believes that unemployment benefits are unconstitutional. He has not however, stated whether his wife is unconstitutional inasmuch as it was revealed last week that she actually accepted unemployment benefits after having worked as her husband’s clerk in 2002 when he was a federal magistrate. Just another case of Tea Party/Republican “do as I say, not as I do”. Vote Democrat Scott McAdams!
THIS JUST IN: A new poll indicates that the Democrats have double digit leads in all three races at the top of the ballot in New York this year. According to a CNN/Time/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Wednesday, New York State Attorney General and Democratic gubernatorial nominee Andrew Cuomo holds a 14 point advantage over Republican nominee Carl Paladino, a Buffalo businessman and developer. According to the survey, New York’s two incumbent Democratic senators are leading their Republican challengers by double digits. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand tops Joseph DioGuardi, her GOP opponent, 55 to 41 percent among likely voters, and Sen. Chuck Schumer leads his little known GOP challenger Jay Townsend 57 to 41 percent. Go Democrats!
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Whack-Jobs Flying Under The Radar” features former Pennsylvania Senator Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum. The chairman of the National Man-Dog Love Association (NAMDLA) has formed a political action committee in Iowa. The forming of a PAC is one indication that a person is testing the waters for a future candidacy. Could it be for President? Let’s hope so, because the Republican primary needs all the crazies it can get.
THIS JUST IN: In the category of “Sometimes These Things Just Write Themselves“, we have Tea Party/Republican candidate for U.S. Senator from Delaware, Christine “Black Magic Woman” O’Donnell. The New York Times revealed last week that the evolution-denying candidate’s father had a television role playing Bozo the Clown. All we can say is, if nothing else, Christine sure has some big shoes to fill!
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s Watch Rand Paul Lie” features who else but Rand Paul the lying Tea Party/Republican candidate for a Kentucky U.S. Senate seat. let’s go directly to Paul’s most recent campaign ad and then his Democratic opponent, Jack Conway‘s response ad. This is a real doozy.
Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.
A Day In The Life song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di7fKh3Vbj8&feature=related
A DAY IN THE LIFE (OF THE G.O.P.)
(sung to the Beatles song “A Day In The Life”)
I read the news today oh, boy
About a senator who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
Is there a photograph?
John Ensign’s tryst will leave a scar
A “family values” guy who’s values changed
His dirty laundry will be aired
We’ve seen his kind before
In hypocrisy the G.O.P. wins all of the awards
I watched the news today oh, boy
Seems David Vitter spent time with a whore
It was a girl so he’s not gay
But here’s the funny hook
It’s all in her book
He’d love to make her gone
Horned up and out of bed
Larry Craig needed some head
Went to the airport to find a pup
Things looking up, he thought he found some bait
Found a leg to give a pat
Caught a bust in seconds flat
Gave a poor excuse when the news broke
Just another joke in the dirty G.O.P.
Ah, ah,ah, ah, ah, ah ,ah ……….
I read the news today oh, boy
The Sunshine State’s Mark Foley is a queer
These guys spew hate but have no balls
The party’s sure to fall
Hypocritical A-holes heading straight into a wall
They’d love to turn you on