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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 95

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Conservative pundit Michelle Malkin actually got it right last week when she summed up the field of Republican Presidential candidates as “Birthers, flip-floppers, Beltway moldy-oldies, Kabuki reformers. Don’t have stomach to look at GOP2012 field today.” Welcome to the real world, Michelle!

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Republican Presidential candidates, last week Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum doubled down on his support for anti-sodomy laws in an interview with controversial preacher Bradlee Dean. In 2003, then-Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) defended anti-sodomy laws in an interview with the Associated Press because “they were there for a purpose.” He added, in a quote that became infamous, “In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.” Anybody else doubting Santorum’s electability?

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see Massachusetts Democrat Elizabeth Warren receive a public endorsement from Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn) in her race for the U.S. Senate seat presently held by the clothing-challenged Republican Scott Brown. Franken said,

“We’ve all seen what Elizabeth can do with her smarts — and her guts. I’ve been impressed with her tenacity for years. She took on Wall Street before anyone else would and pushed consumer protection to the top of the financial reform agenda. We know she’s tough and fiery and even funny. We know she’s got a great life story and a full career of achievements fighting for middle-class families. That’s why progressives like you and me have been fans for a long time, and why we hoped she’d be able to lead the consumer protection board she created. And now, when we imagine her voice in the Senate, well, it’s even more exciting.”

THIS JUST IN:  The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office released a report last week which revealed that, “for the 1 percent of the population with the highest income, average real after-tax household income grew by 275 percent between 1979 and 2007,” while it grew by just 18 percent for the bottom 20 percent of the income scale. “As a result of that uneven income growth, the distribution of after-tax household income in the United States was substantially more unequal in 2007 than in 1979.” Anyone surprised why the Occupy Wall Street 99% are upset?

BREAKING NEWS:  Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul appeared on NBC’s “Meet the Press” last week and announced that he wants to end all federal student loans. That should certainly help with closing the education gap between the United States and the other nations who are faring better than us. Of course, Paul is also the crackpot who believes that the gold has gone missing from Fort Knox.

THIS JUST IN: What’s up with Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain and the smoking commercial?

BREAKING NEWS: This week a Tea Party leader asked Michele Bachmann to end her quest for the Presidency. Ned Ryun, the president of American majority, a Virginia based Tea Party group has called on the former tea Party darling and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus to quit the race because, “every day the campaign flounders, it risks hurting the credibility of the movement.” He went on to say, “It is clear that the campaign has become less about reform and more about her personal effort to stay relevant and sell books; a harsh commentary, but true. It’s not about Tea Party values or championing real plans to solve real problems.’’ It would appear that the moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann has managed to squander the support of her most avid fans.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s “Quote of note comes from Vice President Joe Biden. He said, “Republicans moralizing about deficits. That’s like an arsonist moralizing about fire safety. Spot-on Joe!.

BREAKING NEWS:  The Sarah Palin hangover continues. After announcing that she would not run for President, Sarah Palin’s brainwashed supporters are at a loss. They have absolutely no idea who to worship and throw money at now. In an attempt to come up with an answer they held an online forum called “Grizzlyfest” last week. Josh Painter, who runs the blog Texans for Sarah Palin, acknowledged that many supporters he knew were still “coming out of shock” at Palin’s decision, but that Grizzlyfest was an “excellent opportunity” to assess “where we are and where we are going.” One thing that was clear by the end: real disappointment remains despite a willingness to try and stay together as a cohesive group without a leader. Ah Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Sarah Palin song parody.

It’s All Over Now song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbpU5vBYnfU&feature=related

IT’S ALL OVER NOW

(sung to the Rolling Stones version of the song “It’s All Over Now”)

Well, Palin was around way too long
She winked those eyes, went to Hong Kong
But her heart’s now broken, that’s no lie
Tables turn and now it’s her turn to cry

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Well, she thought that she’d be crowned a queen in D.C. Town
She’d spend book deal money to buy herself some fame
She has no clout, that must be a blow to her pride
Tables turn and now it’s Sarah who cries

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

(musical interlude)

Well, on Meet The Press Sunday morning, did you hear what they said?
“Palin’s political future is all but dead”
Brooks, Dionne and Murphy really smacked Palin down
Now the whole world knows that she is just a clown

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)-Christmas Edition 2

The Twelve (OK, Fourteen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

Just a few comment-worthy news stories that have made their way around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin has predictably decided to respond to the media reports and photos of her donning a John McCain emblazoned visor on which she crossed out the name “McCain” with a black magic marker. Palin told Politico.com that she was merely trying to be incognito while on vacation in Hawaii. She went on to say,

I am so sorry if people took this silly incident the wrong way, I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago. So much for trying to be incognito.

The question remains however, that if she was trying to remain incognito, wouldn’t it have been much easier to simply wear a different hat. Surely she could have purchased a nondescript visor at the thousands of beach gear shops in Hawaii. Also, if she was truly trying to remain incognito, then why did she wear a tee-shirt that said, “If You Don’t Like America Then Get The Hell Out”? Then again, maybe the tee-shirt was intended for Todd “The First Dude” Palin inasmuch as he was a member of the secessionist minded Alaskan Independence Party. Our guess with regard to “HatGate” is that Palin purposely defaced the visor to payback McCain for saying that she is “irrelevant” last week.

THIS JUST IN: Uber-right-wing pundit and anchor baby Michelle Malkin reported last week that Democratic Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska was  being threatened by Senate Democrats with “closure of an air force base,” presumably Offutt Air Force Base, which is south of Omaha and home of U.S. Strategic Command if Nelson does not get on-board with the party regarding its health care reform bill. Of course as usual, Malkin’s report was baseless. Her story has been denied by all parties involved including Senator Nelson’s office. Nelson spokesman Jake Thompson said both of Malkin’s claims about Nelson are false. He also said,

The rumor is not true.  This misinformation is coming from inside-the-Beltway partisans who only want to derail health care reform.

Additionally, White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer said,

Proving that they will leave no stone unturned in their efforts to undermine health reform, some blogs opposing reform are now trafficking an absurd rumor that Nebraska’s Offutt Air Force Base is being threatened over Senator Ben Nelson’s vote on the Senate reform bill.To be perfectly clear: these rumors are completely baseless and false.

Despite the evidence that the Malkin story was untrue, Glenn Beck nevertheless reiterated the story in its entirety on his Fox News show.

BREAKING NEWS: The website cqpolitics.com reports that moonbat-crazy Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has suffered another defection. The Gula Graham Group, a Republican fundraising and consulting firm, ended their three-year relationship with Bachmann last week, GOP sources with knowledge of the firm’s decision said Wednesday. “I can confirm that the Gula Graham Group no longer works for Congresswoman Bachmann,”  Mike Gula said. “We chose to go in a different direction.” The firm’s departure comes less than two months after Bachmann’s chief of staff, Michelle Marston, left the office. Marston was Bachmann’s third chief of staff in as many years. Meanwhile casting is still underway for the Michele Bachmann bio-pic titled, “One More Flew From The Cuckoo’s Nest.”

THIS JUST IN: In this week’s edition of Something Stupid That Someone From Hollywood Said, we have washed-up and over the hill martial artist Chuck Norris. In Thursday’s edition of World Net Daily, Norris ponders what would have happened if President Obama traveled back in time and convinced the Virgin Mary to abort Jesus Christ. Norris wrote,

Lastly, as we sit on the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary were covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor uninsured teenaged woman were provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind, if only they too would have been as progressive as Washington’s wise men and women!

Yeah, OK Chuck.

BREAKING NEWS: Former Republican House Majority Leader Dick Armey (that name never fails to crack me up) found himself in the news again last week. As most of you know, the Department of Homeland Security issued a report warning that right-wing extremist groups that are “primarily hate-oriented” and “are mainly anti-government” were “likely to grow in strength” following President Obama’s election. Many conservatives misinterpreted the warning and mischaracterized it to mean that all conservatives should be labeled as terrorists. Dick Armey has furthered that misconception. Thinkprogress.org reports that at the “Code Red Rally” on Capitol Hill on December 15th, Armey greeted the crowd by saying, “I’ve never seen so many attractive domestic terrorists in all my life.” By downplaying the actual threat caused by a small minority of activists, Armey and his ilk are contributing to the violence that results therefrom. But really, what should we expect from Armey and his platoon of under-educated Tea-Baggers?

THIS JUST IN: Please do yourselves a favor and click on this political humor site (here) to see the 4o Funniest Protest Signs of 2009!

BREAKING NEWS: Remember last week’s edition of Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) where we posted an entry about the Tea-Baggers’ December 15th Die-In at the nation’s Capitol building? Well, nevermind. Seems there was such sparse attendance that the protest died before the Tea-Baggers could start fake dying.

THIS JUST IN: Kudos to Democratic Senator Al Franken for limiting Independent (Ya, right) Senator Joe LIEberman to his allotted ten minutes of speaking time on the Senate floor last week. Jeers to Republican Senator and failed Presidential nominee John McCain for chastising Franken for the exact same action which McCain himself had taken while he was presiding over debate regarding the Iraq War Authorization in 2002. It is a good thing that McCain was not elected President because he is clearly as forgetful and feeble minded as Ronald Reagan.

Please remember to click on the song link below so as to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s holiday song parody.

Have A Holly Jolly Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGyGNxHtvRk&feature=related

HAVE A SARAH PALIN CHRISTMAS

(sung to the Burl Ives version of “Have A Holly Jolly Christmas”)

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
And go shoot a nice reindeer
Ho, Ho, Ho blood in the snow
Now jump around and cheer

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
Knowing that you’re packing heat
Say hello to “Plumber Joe”
And send Glenn Beck a “tweet”

Hello to “Sixpack Joe”
And there’s Hannity
Somebody’s looking blue
That’s Mike Huckabee

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
Don’t let Todd get near the beer
Dark mascara’s just the thing for Sarah’s Christmas
This year

(Have a Sarah Palin Christmas)
(Spreading hate and lots of fear)

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
Find somebody you can cheat
Say Hello then steal the dough
Of everyone you meet

Ho, Ho she’s sunk so low
Since her last defeat
Nothing she says is true
She’s a lying thief

Have a Sarah Palin Christmas
But please do not have it here
Let’s all ask her to stay in Alaska, Christmas
This year