Category Archives: Todd Palin

The Palin/Johnston Half Hour Comedy Hour

Could we please have a "do over"?

It is now official. The Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston Half Hour Comedy Hour has been canceled. The on-again off-again engagement of the unwed pregnant former teens is off again (for now anyways). These two knuckleheads have now quit their relationship more often than mother Sarah Palin has quit a government position. The announcement was made by Bristol in typical Palin fashion via an interview with the tabloid People magazine. She said, “It’s over. I broke up with him”.  Wonder what she was paid for that quote?

Last week the story broke that the ill fated lovers’ engagement was on the rocks. It was speculated that either Levi impregnated one of Bristol’s friends or that he was still romantically involved with another of Bristol’s friends. Either of those scenarios would be enough to end most marriage plans but this is the crazy Palins that we are talking about. Bristol did not name either of those illicit transgressions as the cause of the break up. Rather, she said,

“The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family. He’s just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.”

The music video referred to is one in which Levi will portray a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it?

There is one person that must be thrilled with the break-up of the tabloid teens. It has been widely reported that Sarah Palin, the half term ex-quitting governor of Alaska, is contemplating a 2012 run for the Presidency. If such is the case, she could do without the continuing saga which would be certain to follow the unification of the Palin Hillbillies and the Johnston Bunch. On the other hand, if Levi is on the outs again, there is nothing to stop him from publishing his revenge inspired tell-all tome about the Palins. Oh, the suspense is delicious.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCU-XV77b64

BREAKING UP’S NOT HARD TO DO

(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”)

Breaking up’s not hard to do

Please drive your truck away from me
You made both of us look damn silly
What’s a poor Palin to do?
Cuz breaking up’s not hard to do

We told the world that we were tight
We even planned our big wedding night
But my friends you had to screw
Breaking up’s not hard to do

They say that breaking up is hard to do
But with Levi, that’s just not true
This time I swear it’s the end
I’d like to pick him up and shove a hockey stick up his rear end

My dad, First Dude, would surely die
If I give Levi another try
And mom, Sarah, would blow a fuse
I’m breaking up again with you

I’ll say that breaking up is hard to do
When I’m asked to be on The View
I’ll say my heart’s on the mend
Then I’ll tell Elisabeth just how Levi knocked up my friend

To Baby Tripp, just say goodbye
I’ll tell him his dad’s another guy
His overnights with you are through
Our breaking up’s not hard to do

Bristol and Levi Say, “Let’s Get Real”

Bristol Palin shooting the pilot episode of "Tripp Knows Best"

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off hopes that all of you regular readers had a happy and healthy weekend. Now, let’s get back back to the fun and juicy stuff, shall we?

A number of media outlets including the Toronto Star, E Online and Scify.com are confirming the rumor that the reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have been trying to shop a reality television series about themselves just like media hog Sarah Palin did. TMZ.com reports that the couple plans to use baby Tripp as an integral part of the show. Gee, using your minor children as publicity props, where did Bristol and Levi ever come up with that novel idea?

Finding a network to air the show might be a problem for the on-again, off-again, on-again lovers, however. The New York post quoted one network executive as saying, “Don’t think we should do it. Neither of them have personalities.” Joy Behar of The View said, “It’s like Romeo and Juliet in Wasilla.”

Even the late night talk show hosts have taken notice of the born again virgin’s reconciliation with the high school drop-out. Jay Leno said,

This week Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston reveal exclusively to Us Weekly – my bible – that they are getting married. Sarah Palin, allegedly, is not happy about this because she feels they barely know each other and they are making a big committment – kind of like when John McCain picked her for vice president. I understand it’s not going to be a traditional wedding. Rumor is that Bristol has asked Levi to wear his camouflage hunting vest – which would be the closest he’s ever come to wearing protection of any kind.

David Letterman quipped,

You guys remember Levi Johnston? He’ll be arriving in at the church tied to Sarah Palin’s pickup.

We can’t wait to hear what Craig Ferguson has to say on the subject.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Reunited song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZOhm7qS-AI

REUNITED

(sung to the Peaches and Herb song “Reunited”)

(Levi’s verse)
Let’s pool our dough and buy a double-wide
When I get home I’ll give you quite a ride
I want you so bad cuz it makes Sarah so mad
I realize I like you when you’re on your back, hey-hey

(Bristol’s verse)
I have my very own Plumber-Joe
Let’s do it with Rush on the radio
If I start to gush we can get help from the Dutch
I know now that I love you though you don’t know much, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, right here on the hood
Reunited, Levi’s sporting wood
First Dude don’t like it and Sarah’s pitching a fit
We’ll both be extradited cuz we’re reunited, hey-hey

(Levi’s verse)
I got so tired of my blow-up doll
And all the fellas in the men’s room stall
They said I’d go blind if I pulled on what was mine
I did whatever I could just to earn a dime, hey-hey

(Bristol’s verse)
I took a beatin’ honey, every day
Cuz that’s the Sarah Palin lovin’ way
Her voice is a hiss, she has a venomous kiss
Her skin looks like old leather from some deep abyss, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, this time it’s for good
Reunited, off to Hollywood
We’re a perfect fit, that Sarah she don’t know shit
We hope she gets indicted, we would be excited, hey-hey

(Levi and Bristol’s verse)
Oh,
Holy Mother, we’re so much in love
And Sarah Palin blames the Lord above
We are not gay and we are both white
So we don’t understand why she says its not right, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, this time it’s for good
Reunited, we’re misunderstood
We’re a perfect fit, that Sarah she don’t know shit
The world is so excited cuz we’re reunited, hey-hey

Love And Marriage: The Bristol And Levi Story

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of their lives. You know who’s lives we are speaking of, don’t you? Why of course, it is the soap opera lifestyle of the Palins of Wasiila. Honestly, have you ever witnessed an alleged serious political figure that has a more screwed up family than Sarah Palin?

Let’s see, we had the “family values” preaching Sarah and Todd’s out of wedlock pregnancy. Sarah’s inability to obtain a college degree without taking five years and six sub-par colleges to do so. Sarah and husband Todd’s involvement with the secession seeking Alaska Independence Party. Troopergate, wherein Governor Palin attempted to use her official capacity to have her estranged brother-in-law, Mike Wooten, fired from his job as an Alaska state policeman. Todd Palin’s sister’s conviction for breaking and entering. Teen daughter Bristol’s unwed pregnancy. Son Track’s alleged drug and criminal activity. Sarah’s abrupt and unexplained resignation as governor. And the recent construction of the Fort Palin fortified fence to discourage peeping toms. Well, that is a lot more drama than most royal families go through in a dynasty.

Now we have this blockbuster. Bristol and Levi Johnston have not only reunited, but they are engaged and plan to marry in the near future. That’s right folks, US Magazine has just broken the story. This is the best quote:

“We got engaged two weeks ago,” the magazine quotes 19-year-old Bristol Palin as saying. “It felt right, even though we don’t have the approval of our parents”.

This all raises a few interesting questions. For instance, were Bristol and Levi telling the truth in court when they made all those nasty accusations against each other, or were they lying while under oath? Also, has Bristol kept her word as proselytized through her spokesperson’s position with the Candies Foundation, that she would remain abstinent until she was married? Just wondering, because Levi’s truck has been seen parked at her condo over night many times during the last two months and it has been alleged that she is presently pregnant (again). Finally, what was Sarah’s facial expression when she heard the news? Can’t you just picture one of those old television cartoons where Sarah’s face turns a blistering red before steam begins to geyser from her ears and the “Har-OOO- Ga” sound blasts from her mouth?

Tune in again tomorrow for the continuing saga that is the Palin Family.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Love And Marriage song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwoRMAC461A

LEVI’S MARRIAGE

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Love And Marriage”)

Bristol’s marriage, Bristol’s marriage
Bristol, Levi and the baby carriage
Did she tell her mother
Levi’s once again her lover

Levi’s marriage, Levi’s marriage
The two of them have a lot of baggage
Both their heads are empty
They only went to elementary

Try, try, try to educate them
Lost in confusion
My, oh my, they are so very dumb
That’s my conclusion

Bristol’s marriage, Levi’s marriage
Before they wed they’ll have a lot of shaggage
Bristol and her mother
Are all but done, there’s no more fun
The two are done with one another

(instrumental break)

Why, why were they copulatin’?
Was it collusion?
Did they try to make Bristol a mom,
Through sexy fusion?

Bristol’s marriage, Levi’s marriage
Before they wed they’ll have a lot of shaggage
Bristol and her mother
Are all but done, (are all but done)
The two are done with one another

Ouch! Take That, Sarah Palin.

Investigative reporter Joseph McGinniss has responded to Sarah Palin’s outrage at his renting the home next to hers while writing a book about her. He told the Washington Post that in fact, he was first approached by Todd “First Dude” Palin at the rented home and Palin told him that he was unwelcome in a conversation in which Mr. Palin became increasingly hostile. When Palin left the author’s home, he then fetched the camera from which he snapped the photo that wife Sarah then posted on FaceBook with her fiery remarks about McGinniss.

Subsequent to the FaceBook posting and Sarah Palin’s call-in to Glenn Beck’s radio show on the same topic, McGinniss claims that he began to receive hatemail and threats via email. It appears that conservative radio host Mark Levin publicly revealed McGinniss’ email address prompting some 5000 messages in four hours, some of which contained veiled death threats. McGinniss says,

I would term this (Palin’s response) hysterical. By being here, I have learned things, and I’ve gotten an insight into her character, into her ability to incite hatred, that before I only knew about in the abstract.

There you have it folks, Sarah Palin’s own actions have undermined her yet again. Anyone surprised?

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune, but to have more fun singing along to the song parody also, too.

The Brady Bunch television theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou-FeOoKDq4

THE PALIN BUNCH

(sung to the theme of “The Brady Bunch”)

Here’s the story of a gal named Sarah
Who was the Governor of State number 49.
Then John McCain came lookin’ for a V.P.
And that sounded just fine.

Here’s the story of Todd the First Dude
He had a D.U.I. and drove a snow machine.
He couldn’t count to ten on his fingers
With just his G.E.D.

The election didn’t go the way they planned it
Our girl Sarah couldn’t handle interviews.
The media exposed her dearth of knowledge
Except for Fox News and that blonde chick from The View.

The Palin Bunch, the Palin Bunch
That’s the way they became the Palin Bunch.

Palin Compound Threatened By One Man Seige

I'll Get You, Joe McGinniss!!!

Batten down the hatches! Shutter the windows! Put chastity belts on the girls and by God, Todd hurry up with that fence! These are just a few of the exclamations that Sarah Palin has been overheard screeching this week. She has also taken to Facebook and the Glenn Beck radio show to cry for support in her efforts to hide from an investigative reporter that has rented the house next door to the Palin compound in Wasilla, Alaska.

Joe McGinniss, the author of a forthcoming Sarah Palin exposé, has actually rented the house right next door to the Palins in an attempt to keep an ever watchful eye on his subjects. Indeed, the owner of the property sought out the author and asked if he would be interested in renting the home. Apparently the property owner had an axe to grind with the Palins as the result of some bills that the Palins failed to pay and what better way to get even than by accommodating the writer that is sure to skewer Palin in print. Revenge surely is a dish best served cold. As Todd “The First Dude” once said, “What goes around comes around”.

In an effort to shield her family from the ever watchful eye of McGinniss, Palin is constructing a ridiculously high spite fence. Not only does the fence impede McGinniss’ sight lines, but it also looks terrible and will probably decrease the value of the Palin property. Enquiring minds however, want to know how McGinniss intends to respond. Will he sit on his roof while writing or maybe install one of those hunting tree stands? Might he purchase a trampoline so that he can get fleeting glimpses over the fence? Will he simply rent a boat so that he can watch the Palins from beautiful Lake Lucille? Stay tuned for the answer. In the meantime let’s all just enjoy the fireworks in Wasilla that are exploding well before Quitting, oops I meant Independence Day.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with tonight’s topical song parody.

You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz7IjXu0DfQ

WE’VE GOT TO HIDE OUR HOUSE AWAY

(sung to the Beatles song “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”)

Here I stand pen in hand
Boy, that fence is real tall
View is gone but I’ll go on
Writing is a ball

Sarah glares, momma bear
Each and every day
I can see they’re scared of me
Here’s what Palins say:

Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away
Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away

My oh my, ten feet high
But they’ll never win
Hearing them, seeing them
Sarah and her kin

How could she say to me
Joey stay away
Now I’m bound to hang ‘round
Each and every day

Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away
Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away

Palin’s Daffy Doubletalk Dismays Devotees

If you're crazy and you know it, clap your hands...

As we have long surmised, all you had to do was give Sarah Palin enough rope and eventually she would hang herself. The metaphorical rope in this instance is the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska’s own lengthy trail of words. Despite the fact much of what Palin says is an indecipherable jumble of mispronounced words and colloquial down-home catchphrases, she has now managed to contradict herself and counter conservative measures so often that she has lost support not only among the moonbat crazy Tea-Bagger crowd, but also amongst Republicans as a whole.

This news has even become apparent across the pond as they say. The UK Telegraph reports that more Alaskans than not think the presidency should not form the next chapter of Palin’s extraordinary story, while 45 per cent gave her a negative personal rating. It also points out that Tea Party supporters, her most ardent fans, showed that a majority wouldn’t vote for her if she ran for president in 2012. Further, the British paper states,

It is not just that the faithful are beginning to question her readiness for the White House. It is not just that they have doubts about a would-be president who wants all her questions pre-screened, who needs to scribble her talking points on her palm and whose favourite modes of communication are those of a 15-year-old, namely Twitter and Facebook. What is troubling Right-wingers is whether their great moose-hunting hope may not be the conservative real deal after all.

The paper goes on to say that,

Dissent is most evident among Palin’s 1.5 million Facebook friends, who have revolted against her decision to endorse Carly Fiorina, the controversial former Hewlett Packard executive, in a California Republican senate primary over the Tea Party favourite, Chuck DeVore. For some, Palin’s choice compounded her recent endorsement of McCain in his Arizona senate primary election battle against a more Right-wing candidate.

The suspicion is that Palin  didn’t do her homework on Fiorina – who favours a “cap and trade” energy reform bill and is considered insufficiently robust against abortion.

It would appear that Palin’s supporters are just now picking up on her contradictions and her penchant for opportunism that her critics have seen since she first appeared on the political scene.

The Telegraph contends for instance,

Palin decries federal government spending but as a state governor lapped it up (as almost all of them do). She attacked “big government” healthcare reform but accepts free care for her grandson, an entitlement received only because her husband Todd is one quarter native Alaskan.

Next it points out,

A supposed warrior against political correctness, she upbraided Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff, for using the word “retard” as an insult, saying it was deeply offensive to her and Trig, her Down’s Syndrome son. Indeed it may have been. But when Rush Limbaugh, the talk radio supremo whom no Republican dares contradict, then committed the same offence, she remained silent.

And,

An ostensibly staunch defender of the US constitution, Palin last week said that US law should be based on “the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments”. In doing so she completely ignored, or was ignorant of, the fact that the very aim of the founding fathers was to separate church and state, from that very British tyranny. As the first amendment states: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Those “unalienable rights” in the Declaration of Independence that Palin holds so dear were endowed by the “Creator”, not a God of a particular church or faith.

We should also point out that while pretending to be the hockey mom and/or hardworking “Sixpack Joanne” like so many of her devotees, Sarah Palin has actually been virtually unemployed yet earned more than 12 million dollars since last year. Presently, her lifestyle far more closely resembles that of the East Coast elite that she pretends to so despise than it does the down-homey, small town, Middle American that “clings to his/her guns and religion”. Finally, and most vividly, she has not yet found a way to gracefully backtrack from “drill baby, drill” even in the face of the Gulf Coast disaster. Many of the governors of those coastal Red states that so fervently advocated more offshore drilling are now taking a sober second look. Palin, on the other hand, simply digs in the heels of her Naughty Monkeys. Quite simply, Sarah Palin will soon alienate herself right out of the atmosphere of the political party to which she belongs.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Everybody’s Talkin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HL4WRp_Qk

SARAH PALIN’S TALKIN’

(sung to the Harry Nilsson version of the song “Everybody’s Talkin”)

Sarah Palin’s talkin’ at me
Can’t understand a word she’s saying
She has a really troubled mind

People stopping, staring
Standing in their places
Palin’s just blinking both her eyes

Her brain is where the sun ain’t shining
Thinking is a strain
Like dead fish, she’s “goin’ with the flow”
Palin is just a bag of wind
Craving attention, please
She’s hoping that her supporters throw a bone

(musical interlude)

It’s no wonder that she’s been hiding
She might be insane
As for Prozac, she could use a dose
If she gives up then we all win
She could then strip-tease
And she could use that dancing pole as her throne

Sarah Palin’s talkin’ at me
Can’t hear a word she’s saying
Only the echoes of her whines

I just hope she’ll leave in double time

Oh, I just hope she le-ee-ee-eaves

I just hope she’ll leave in double time

Sump Pumps And Sarah Palin Both Suck

First she appeared before the Bowling League Convention. Next it was the Liquor Wholesalers’ Convention and Wednesday Sarah Palin spoke at an event sponsored by a firm that specializes in the manufacture of battery backup sump pump systems. Really, can it get any better than this? What is next, the Toilet Scrubber Convention?

We will not even get into the content of her speech. Suffice to say it included the words, “rogue”, “hope-y change-y”, “clinging to guns and religion”, “socialism”, “Obama Care” and a completely inane diatribe having something to do with a girls’ high school basketball team and the new Arizona racist immigrant law. You know, the usual Palin word salad.

This is a beautiful Saturday here in Boston, so let’s just pull out one of our old Sarah Palin television theme parodies.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song.

Gilligan’s Island theme link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Gilligans_Island.html

SARAH’S ISLAND

(Sung to the theme of tv’s “Gilligan’s Island”)

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a strange kinship
That started with the First Dude, Todd
And ends with Baby Tripp

Wife Sarah was Alaska’s guv’nor
Her husband a drop-out
Five children with really strange names
Hillbillies there’s no doubt.    Hillbillies there’s no doubt.

The election started getting rough
Mack needed a V.P.
He focused his attention on the Great White North
His savior Sarah P.    His savior Sarah P.

She could not handle interviews her strategy was
Senile
Too “Mavericky”
“You Betcha’s” too
“Joes Sixpack and the Plumber”
“Hockey Moms”
“The Pitbull with Lipstick on”
and, a Beehive hairstyle.

So this is the tale of the Palin Clan
The campaign was reduced to dust
Bristol had a baby boy
Levi’s mom, a bust

Sarah and her husband, Todd
Returned to the family nest
She had some softball interviews
Tough issues weren’t addressed

No Charles, no Kate, no CNN
Sure no M-S-N-B-C
They all use “Gotcha Questions”
That’s not her cup of tea

So join them here each week good friends
Fox, you can stay awhile
Greta and Hasselback will be here too

Here on “Palins Isle”

Sarah Palin The Bibliotheque

Oh this is delicious. Sarah Palin is releasing a new book. Publisher HarperCollins has announced that the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska and failed Republican (is “failed Republican” redundant?) US Vice Presidential candidate is releasing  a second book titled, “Family, Faith and Flag”. How original! By the way, it is just as uniquely subtitled, “A Celebration of American Virtues and Strengths”. Way to go out there on a limb Sarah, in an effort to comment on something controversial. Will Ms. Quittypants never learn that you can only drape yourself in the flag so long before people begin to question your motives (and sanity)?

Most likely as a direct result of her poorly penned, critically panned and mostly ghostwritten first book, Palin has elected to leave the writing to others this time. This book will simply be a collection of readings that have inspired the educationally challenged reality television series host. As HarperCollins puts it, the book will include…

“the nation’s founding documents, to great speeches, sermons, letters, literature and poetry, biography, and even some of her favorite songs and movies.” (Favorite songs? Do you think she might include any of the Lynnrockets parodies?).

Seriously, would Sarah Palin ever dare to honestly reveal to the world the readings, sermons, songs and movies that inspired her? For example, will she tell us about the sermon that inspired her to have the witches driven from her body in that Youtube clip that everyone has seen? Will she reveal that the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off inspired her to skip so many classes that it took her over 6 years to earn a mere bachelor’s degree from a series of second rate colleges? Will she actually admit that she was inspired by the little known book, Sarah, Plain and Stupid? Will she explain how the “founding fathers” of the secessionist Alaska Independence Party (the AIP) inspired her to promote the party when she was Governor (and inspired “First Dude” Todd to actually register with the Party)? Would she ever dare to fess-up to the fact that her post-governorship career was inspired by the song, “Barbie Girl” (if you are not familiar with this song, click here)?

Who knows what the 2009 “Liar of the Year” will include in her new tome. Stay tuned for its release on November 23rd as Sarah Palin is sure to put the Bible in bibliotheque. Until then, please enjoy today’s topical song parody.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at  Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he loves me as a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Sarah Palin Has Dirty Oil On Her Hands But Not On Her Conscience

Silence is golden. If only we could get a little of that from Sarah Palin. You would think that the educationally challenged former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska would realize that in light of the recent Gulf Coast oil rig disaster, now is not the time to extol the benefits of more off-shore oil drilling. Then again, you would also think that an interview blowing, turkey head grinding, “death panel” lying, crib note relying, logic defying, Tea-Bagger buying, spotlight eyeing narcissist would not be capable of maintaining the interest of the “lamestream” media. Ah, but such is apparently not the case.

Last Friday Palin took to her Facebook page to “pipe-in” on the recent disaster while demanding more drilling immediately and without any preliminary study on the feasibility of making the practice more safe not only for the environment but for the men and women that work on those rigs. Remember, eleven people lost their lives as the result of corporate malfeasance. Palin said,

Alaskans understand the tragedy of an oil spill, and we’ve taken steps to do all we can to prevent another Exxon tragedy, but we are still pro-development.
[...]
I repeat the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard for the tragic consequences of oil spills – my family and my state and I know firsthand those consequences.

Wait a minute. If she repeats the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard, then what is her reasoning? Sarah would you please expound on that a little? We await your incomprehensible response with baited breath.

Oh, yippee! She spoke again on Saturday in Missouri before a bunch of Republicans. Inasmuch as Missouri is the “Show Me” state, we are sure that Ms. Quittypants would feel compelled to show the audience some facts to support what she is talking about, right?

Not so fast. Palin deemed the oil spill to be “very tragic”, but she then told her audience,… ready for this? “I want our country to be able to trust the oil industry”. Trust the oil industry? Perhaps we should trust Halliburton, Blackwater and Goldman Sachs too. Did the Exxon-Valdez disaster in her own backyard not teach the brain-dead corporate lackey a little something about the type of trust that can placed on oil companies?

Sarah Palin is simply as stupid as stupid comes.

EXTRA

Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their thrilling Game 2 victory over the Philadelphia Flyers last night by a score of 3-2. The Bruins now lead the series 2 games to none with the series shifting to Philadelphia tomorrow for the next two games, ‘Here we go, Bruins, here we go!”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Life In The Fast Lane song link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3sg5y_the-eagles-life-in-the-fast-lane-he_music

PIPE IN THE GASOLINE

(sung to the Eagles song “Life In The Fast Lane”)

Todd was a school dropout man, he was brain dead and then some
And Sarah was not really witty
They both hooked up and thought they looked so handsome
In the heart of Wasilla city
She had a nasty reputation and he was “First Dude”
The Palins were ruthless when it came to crude
They had one thing in common
With old Uncle Jed
She said, “Drill Baby Drill”
Till Mother Nature’s dead

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline

Are you with me so far?

The plan needed action, so said the dame
A bigger attraction than old John McCain
She called on Joe The Plumber
But she needed more pull
So she called on Joe Sixpack
Did the lipsticked pitbull
Those pipe-lines on the landscape, could seal her fate
So long as she had her cronies spreading politics of hate
The Palin fan base is not very bright
They are all old, straight and male and all of them are white, don’t doubt it

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

(musical interlude)

Drilling and boring, blinded by thirst
She couldn’t handle Gibson
Katie Couric was worse
She said, listen people, don’t you know I’m “mavericky”?
I can see Russia from my house, even Tina Fey agrees
Mac said, call Rush Limbaugh, I think we’re gonna crash
The polls are heading downward and we need some instant cash
They were lookin’ for some leeway
The election was lost
She didn’t care there was oil ‘neath that permafrost, so it was

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline

I Got Nothin’

Ever have one of those days when you find that you are simply unprepared for the day’s events? You know, forgot your homework; didn’t study enough for the big test; ill prepared for the work presentation (or in my case, court hearing); forgot clean underwear and had that car accident your parents warned you about? Well, I’m having one of those days today. Consequently, there will be none of the usual incisive, comprehensively researched, yet fun Republican bashing this morning.

Over the weekend we had a number of family events to attend. Additionally, although trivial in comparison to the Gulf oil spill or the deadly storms in the South-East, we had a massive water main break in Boston this weekend which has left numerous cities and towns either boiling water or getting sick. I’m OK, the dog got sick. Oops, my bad! Finally, as the result of Noah-like flooding in Boston in March, both the IRS and the state Dept. of Revenue were kind enough to grant Bostonians an extension for tax filing until May 11th. Unfortunately, I took advantage of the extension and now I must attend to those taxes. Hey Tea-Baggers, please keep in mind that I am not complaining about the amount of taxes that I will pay, but only the process of preparing the returns.

So, here I sit this morning at my desk gathering paperwork and drinking a nice cold refreshing glass of water… Oh, No. Well, I’m off to the bathroom. I hope to have a more on topic post later. In the meantime, please enjoy a simple upbeat television theme song parody about Sarah Palin.

Almost forgot. Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their game one overtime victory over the Philadelphia Flyers on Saturday afternoon. Game two is tonight at 7:00 p.m. EST.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Laverne and Shirley theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZmimJGmrUQ

PITBULL AND FIRST DUDE

(sung to the TV theme song “Laverne and Shirley”)

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
She heels, she grovels, Exxon Oil Incorporated
She went and blew it

Any foolish chance, she’ll take it
Give her any rule, she’ll break it
If you’re not on her team, screw you
Her way or no way

She’s a political hack now
Just like her pal, Johnny Mac now
And Russia’s always within view
“Drill Baby Drill”  Yay!

When she’s talking it’s a lie
Won’t admit that oil’s exhaustible
Palin once rode the short bus
And we all knew it

Dresses like a curbside ho’ now
Daughter Bristol can’t say “no” now
She’s Joe the Plumber’s dream come true
And she wants it her way, not our way
Take it or just screw you
And she wants it her way, not our way

Makin’ her dreams come true

Screw me and you

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