Category Archives: Television

Sarah Palin Has Blood In Her Sights And On Her Hands (Re-post from 3/30/10)

Lynnrockets has decided to forgo the usual “Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)” weekly news recap today so as to re-post a blog entry we placed here back on March 30, 2010. The article focused upon Sarah Palin and how her words and symbolism might someday lead to tragic violence. Unfortunately, that prediction may have come true yesterday. This re-post is not intended in any way to give a “pat on the back” to Lynnrockets’ ability to forecast future events. Rather, it is put here to serve as an example of the fact that even back nearly a year ago it was obvious to anyone paying attention, that Palin’s ( and others’ on the radical far-right) use of violence inciting words and symbols was escalating to the boiling point.

The blogosphere and the mainstream media (with the striking exception of Fox News) have nearly all made mention of the Gabrielle Giffords tragedy and Sarah Palin’s targeted and symbolic call to “reload” and “take a stand” against her last March. Again, with the exception of Fox News, they have all made reference to the eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room which is Palin’s despicable “cross-hair” laden call to arms against Giffords (and 19 other Democrats) which she placed on her SarahPAC.com website. Palin continued to prominently display that horrific inducement to violence well after the November mid-term elections (at which they were allegedly aimed). For what reason would she do that? It was not until after the damage was done yesterday afternoon that Sarah Palin scrubbed her target board from her website. Was that an implicit admission that even she now realizes the danger it posed?

Fox News of course took a different tact. If any of you “took one for the team” and watched the Fox coverage of the event, you noticed how the hosts and their many guest “experts” (excepting Gerlaldo Rivera) avoided any reference to the Palin ad or the ever-escalating right-wing hate speak that preceded yesterday’s murders. Inasmuch as Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck are employees of Fox News, the network made every effort to avoid mention of their names although nearly every other outlet of the mainstream media saw the connection in light of Pima County (Arizona) Sheriff Clarence Dupnik’s widely broadcast condemnation of “vitriolic rhetoric” on radio and television. This was “news” that the “fair and balanced” network willfully chose to ignore in an attempt to distance itself from any connection to the atrocity. In layman’s terms, Fox News was engaged in a blatant cover-up. Want more evidence of this? Then watch how this Fox News host quickly went to a commercial break less than one second after a mourner at a vigil unexpectedly mentioned the name “Sarah Palin”.

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‘Nuff said. The re-post follows:

Let’s be blunt. Sarah Palin is a bad person. She claims to be a pro-lifer, but in reality she has no respect for life. During her short lived and aborted stint as Governor of Alaska, Palin made every effort to keep such animals as the polar bear and the Beluga whale off of the endangered species list. Think about that for a moment. This sad excuse for a human being exhausted every effort to expedite the extinction of entire species of God’s creatures. She also personally violated most every hunter’s code of conduct by encouraging the shooting of wolves from helicopters. She was even insensitive enough to continue filming an interview after it was brought to her attention that a turkey was being beheaded in the background.

It is not just the lives of animals that Sarah Palin has little care for however. She is also very unconcerned about the existence of human life. Why else would she do everything in her power, including fabricating a lie about “death panels”, in an attempt to prevent the passage of the health care reform bill? Palin is aware of the fact that 45,000 Americans die each year because they have no means to access health insurance. She is also aware that more than 30 million citizens of this great nation of ours are uninsured. Yet, she opposed a law that would enable the uninsured to obtain medical services which might save their lives.

Thankfully Sarah Palin’s opposition to health care reform was not shared by the American people or the majority of Congress. Health care reform became law last week for the good of the nation but to the consternation of pouting Palin. Now Sarah Palin is out for revenge. She intends to make her point by inciting her brain-dead Tea-Bagger followers to violence against Democratic Party members of Congress that voted in favor of the health care reform bill.

Her first action was to unleash a violent call to arms via her SarahPAC website. Palin literally targeted 20 House Democrats that voted for health care reform. She named each one of them and placed a symbolic rifle-sight illustration over each of their districts on a map of the United States. As if that symbolism were not gruesome enough, Palin then issued a call to arms to her followers by means of the following ominous words emblazoned on the website: “It’s Time To Take A Stand”.

If one of her nutjob followers takes her incitement to the extreme. Sarah Palin will have more blood on her hands and a lot to answer for.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boww2CMtOo4

HIT ‘EM WITH YOUR BEST SHOT

(sung to the Pat Benatar song “Hit me With Your Best Shot”)

Well she’s a real tough cookie in the mean G.O.P.
A bitch without a heart; that is Sarah P.
She hates Dems and she’s gonna prove it
Just like the Duke, she’s gonna come out shootin’

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

A slimy, lying moron, this “Mama Bear”
She plays the game but she don’t play fair
Blamed her loss on John McCain
Then she flushed him right down the drain

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

(re-loading break)

A political rookie with a poor history
She can see Russia from her balcony
Palin just took another gun from her rifle case
She’s gonna shoot a Democrat in the face

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

Is Fox News And Tea Party Hatred to Blame For This Atrocity?

This is truly breaking (heart-breaking) news. CNN has just reported that at least 12 people were shot at a Tucson, Arizona grocery store on Saturday, and Democratic U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was among them. The network reports that, “Giffords, 40, was holding a constituent meeting at the grocery store when the shooting occurred, according to a schedule posted on her website.” The Tuscon Citizen newspaper reports that Giffords was shot in the head.

Giffords won her third term in a closely contested race against a Tea Party-sponsored candidate and was one of three Democratic legislators who reported vandalism at their offices following the March vote on health care reform.

It is obviously too early to place blame for this atrocity until we learn more about the assailant. Nevertheless, if it is determined that the shooter targeted the Democratic Representative for political reasons,  Fox News hosts such as Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck may be morally culpable for fostering an atmosphere encouraging revolution-like actions against the Democratic Party controlled government. Is it any wonder that at some point violence might be triggered by Palin’s inappropriate rhetoric such as “Don’t Retreat. Reload”, or her infamous website ad which targeted certain Democrats (including Giffords) for electoral defeat by means of placing gun-sight symbols over their judicial districts on a U.S. map? Has Glenn Beck’s near constant comparison of the Obama administration to communists, socialists or even Hitler fostered an atmosphere of sober and reasoned political discourse? Of course not. These far-right conservative radicals have stopped just short of actually calling for violence against government officials. On a daily basis they remind the easily influenced Tea Party members of the glory of our nation’s armed revolution. Indeed, during the most recent election cycle Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle went so far as to say that the public should bring down an out-of-control Congress with “Second Amendment remedies.”

The far-right media and politicians refused to castigate those people that attended Tea Party rallies armed with guns. They turned the truth upside down when they defended the Tea Partier that assaulted and stepped on the head of a defenseless woman at a Rand Paul event. Every time some far-right conservative takes their bait and like a hungry dog devouring raw meat, starts talking about “taking back the government” and stocking up on guns and ammunition, the likes of Beck, Palin, Limbaugh, Malkin, Coulter and Hannity defend these crackpots by claiming that they are simply expressing their frustration. Their thinly veiled encouragement of violence either threatened or actual is despicable.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that today’s shooting was the work of a person with a severe mental disability who picked a random target and not a person motivated by what seems to be an ever-increasing level of political hatred. The mentally disabled person works alone while the politically motivated person is likely only one of many that may resort to lethal violence. It is time for the hate-spreading far-right media and politicians to realize this and tone down their rhetoric and tacit encouragement of violence.

No song parody today. I see no humor in this tragic event. My prayers are with Ms. Giffords and the other innocent shooting victims.

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 63

BREAKING NEWS: The controversial “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) military policy law which discriminated against gays was overwhelmingly repealed by the U.S. Senate yesterday. Eight Republicans joined the Democrats in the repeal effort. John McCain, not surprisingly, was not one of them. His words? “Today is a very sad day”. John McCaine has now officially become the Republican dinosaur that was the last man to defend sexual preference discrimination. Not an admirable title.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Biting The Hand That Feeds You” features the entire Republican Senate caucus that has filibustered the bill to fund health care for 9/11 first responders. The Republicans, you might remember, attempted to use 9/11 to their advantage whenever they could. For example, they justified the initiation of two wars on the event. They justified the civil rights limiting Patriot Attack on the event and they even justified the illegal use of torture on the event. Indeed, as Vice President Joe Biden said in 2008 of Rudy Giuliani, “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence — a noun, a verb, and 9/11. There’s nothing else! There’s nothing else!” It is perplexing to all that the G.O.P. has now turned its back on the 9/11 responders after having been carried by them for years.

BREAKING NEWS: Remember way back in 2009 when PolitiFact.com deemed Sarah Palin’s “death panels” as the biggest lie of the year? Well, the entity has deemed the entire G.O.P.’s use of the term “a government takeover of health care” as 2010′s biggest lie of the year. Said Jonathan Oberlander, a professor of health policy at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill:  “The label ‘government takeover” has no basis in reality, but instead reflects a political dynamic where conservatives label any increase in government authority in health care as a ‘takeover.’ ” Those lying Republicans and their continued lying has been rewarded once again.

THIS JUST IN: In an act that Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) said “brought shame to Capitol Hill” on Thursday, the House Republican leadership banded together at the last minute, and on purely specious grounds, to defeat a piece of legislation six years in the making aimed at preventing child marriage worldwide. Yes, you read that correctly, the “family values” G.O.P. refused to pass a bill to introduce the International Protecting Girls by Preventing Child Marriage Act, requiring the U.S. government to develop an integrated, strategic approach to combating child marriage by ensuring more effective us of existing resources. The bill also seeks to promote the educational, health, economic, social, and legal empowerment of women and girls. There you have it, another example of Republicans just saying, “NO!”.

BREAKING NEWS: ThinkProgress reported Thursday on a study conducted by World Public Opinion — a project managed by the Program on International Policy Attitudes at the University of Maryland — which found that “greater exposure” to Fox News during the run-up to the mid-term elections this year “increased” daily viewers’ misinformation about specific issues. It is now official, the network really should be called “Faux News”.

THIS JUST IN: Paradox of the week? Minnesota’s Republican, moonbat-crazy House Rep. Michele Bachmann to serve on the …wait…wait…Intelligence Committee. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

BREAKING NEWS: Can you believe it? Yet another poll was released yesterday with more devastating news for Sarah Palin. Lynnrockets has already commented on three previous polls from this week which show Palin trailing Barack Obama in a head-to-head match-up for the presidency by as much as 22 points. Now, an ABC News/Washington Post poll released yesterday indicates that nearly six in ten Americans say they wouldn’t even consider voting for Palin if she runs. As the saying goes, “When it rains, it pours”.

THIS JUST IN: Only Five Shopping Days Left Until Christmas. We just had to say that because it seems everyone else does.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.

Joy To The World song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91brmsKeqcQ&feature=related

JOY TO THE WORLD (THE BOOK TOUR’S DONE)

(sung to the Anne Murray version of “Joy To The World”)

Joy to the world, the book tour’s done!
Palin has earned her bling;
Now she can fly off
On her new broom
And resume her nature thing,
And resume her nature thing,
And search Lake Lucille for her wedding ring

Joy to the world, no more jet planes
The snow-machine’s her toy
“Arctic Cat” duds,
And reindeer games
Palin is unemployed
Palin is unemployed
Sarah Palin is unemployed

Sarah’s a girl who is two-faced
She is our nation’s fool
No brains above
For her highness
Preaching hate, not love
Preaching hate, not love
She best beware the Lord above

Things We Learned About The Clampetts, Err Palins From DWTS

Bristol Palin is the Missing Link

Ding dong the witch is dead. We knew it could not go on forever. We knew that at some point Bristol Palin would be dumped from “Dancing With The Stars”. Just the same, we will miss the contestant that was a star only as the result of her status as being a former unwed pregnant teen. Bristol’s presence on the show gave the nation another point of contact with America’s most notorious reality television-based family. And we learned a number of things during her tenure such as…

  1. Sarah Palin is likely to get booed whenever she appears before an audience that has not been hand-picked and stocked full of Tea-Baggers;
  2. Bristol enjoyed publicly embarrassing “Mama Bear” by choosing songs that were thinly veiled insults at Sarah’s parenting skills (or lack thereof) and her unwed teen pregnancy (i.e. “Mama Told Me Not To Come” and “You Can’t Hurry Love”);
  3. Palinbots will game the system and support the Palin family in whatever endeavor they choose to pursue regardless of talent or taste;
  4. Bristol embraced the Palin-denied “Theory of Evolution” when she donned her anthropomorphic gorilla costume;
  5. Sarah Palin’s sex-obsession regarding her children has no limits, as was evidenced by her concern that Bristol might perform a stripper’s “lap dance” on national television;
  6. Bristol does not vote;
  7. Bristol believed that if she won the contest, “it would be like giving the big middle finger to the people that hate her mother” and her;
  8. Sarah thought that husband Todd would have been a better contestant on the show because ballroom dancing is apparently within his “comfort zone” but not Bristol’s; and
  9. Sarah was correct. Bristol cannot dance.

Bristol, we hardly knew ye. But fear not loyal Lynnrockets readers, we still have one Palin related reality show in progress and one more in the production stages. “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” is presently airing on TLC and consequently we will get a weekly dose of her invading the privacy of her neighbors (author/antagonist Joe McGinniss), lying about reading and researching and generally misinforming most Americans about the state of Alaska. Additionally, we can look forward to the insane antics of Levi Johnston as he runs for mayor of Wasilla before our very own television-peeping eyes. Perhaps Sarah will instruct Todd and his buddies to drill another spy hole through her fence so that she can keep track of her once and future son-in-law. Speaking of Track, how long will it be before the prodigal son gets his own reality show?

Stay tuned. Same Rocket channel! Same Rocket time!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Dancing Queen song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y62OlGvC-bk

DANCING QUEEN

(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)

She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
(Ooooh)
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen

Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing

Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen

She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Should have been gone by Round 5?
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen

Christine O’Donnell Is Not A Foxy Lady

What could have been.

This may be the end of the line. Sad but true. This may be the final Lynnrockets post about Christine O’Donnell. The “Witchy Woman” was, without doubt, the most hilarious Teapublican crackpot to burst on the scene since Sarah Palin. Indeed, she out-Palined Sarah Palin. Her non-masturbatory brand of satan-worshiping, evolution-denying witchcraft easily trumped Palin’s copyright protected re-loaded, death-panel inspired Mama-Grizzlies. Heck, Christine O’Donnell was Sarah Palin on steroids.

Unfortunately (only for the laughs, mind you), Christine O’Donnell lost her bid for a Delaware Senate seat. She was crushed by Democrat Chris Coons and with her defeat, we were denied our daily dose of O’Donnell insanity. To lose our amusement so abruptly was as painful as a heroin addict’s anguish from going cold turkey. Oh, the humanity!

Suddenly however, there was a glimmer of hope. The rumor mill was churning and there was word that Fox News might come to the rescue. Christine O’Donnell might be given a spot on “Fox and Friends” or a regular guest host position on Glenn Beck’s comedy show or Bill O’Reilly’s tabloid news program. It all made sense. O’Donnell had previously announced that she had Sean Hannity “in her pocket”. She is clearly as dumb or dumber than the other Fox talking heads. Best of all, Sarah Palin was already on-board with Fox. it would have been a true “Mother Grizzly and Child Reunion” (Hey, there might be song parody in that one).

Alas, our hopes have been dashed. Fox News has reported that it “has no plans to hire her.” To paraphrase President Richard Nixon, “We won’t have Christine O’Donnell to kick around anymore”. Christine O’Donnell, we hardly knew ye.

Excuse me. What’s that? Hold on loyal readers, some new information is coming in through my tinfoil hat…

BREAKING NEWS: The rumors of Christine O’Donnell’s premature demise might have been exaggerated. The non-self-flagellating O’Donnell appeared on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on Wednesday and said she’s fielding plenty of job offers. She said they range from “Anything from a book deal to a reality show.” She went on to explain, “I am not necessarily interested in a reality show…I would like to do something like a watchdog-type show.”

Oh, happy day! It looks like we may have the opportunity to have a lot more fun at Christine O’Donnell’s expense after all.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Witchcraft song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIZIBm2QGaM

WITCHCRAFT II

(sung to Frank Sinatra’s song “Witchcraft”)

This “Mama Grizzly” bear
That hails from Delaware
Christine O’Donnell snared
By witchcraft

And she’s got no defense for it
The heat is too intense for it
Palin has really stepped in it too

Christine’s witchcraft, wicked witchcraft
And she knows we know, it’s strictly taboo

Will this implode the Tea Party?
Confirming her insanity
Bringing down Palin and Romney too?

O’Donnell’s dug her ditch
Gay-baiting hate-fueled bitch
This tax evading witch is through

(masturbation break)

Christine’s witchcraft, her crazy witchcraft
Now we know that she’s been drinking the brew

Lied about her college degree
Non-masturbating prodigy
Renouncing Christianity too

Bill Maher is now the snitch
Who threw the breaking pitch
Now we can bid this witch adieu!

Ready For “Sarah Palin’s Staged Alaska”?

It's all "Guns 'n Buns" on "Sarah Palin's Alaska"

Sarah Palin, “The Queen of Quit” will make her reality television debut tomorrow when Sarah Palin’s Alaska hits the airwaves. The Boston Globe tells us what we can expect to see. Here are some excerpts from the newspaper’s review:

Sarah Palin is climbing a glorious mountain in the premiere of TLC’s “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.’’ Terrified of heights, “freaking-out scared,’’ she yells to her guide and her husband, Todd, “This may flippin’ take me all day.’’ But she persists, bravely climbing upward, refusing to succumb to fear. “I didn’t want to quit,’’ she says later. “I didn’t want to quit in front of other people.’’ The long scene is about perseverance, a statement about climbing ev’ry mountain. But is the scene also an indirect response to accusations that Palin is a “quitter’’ for having left her Alaska governor’s post 18 months early?

Her series, which premieres Sunday night at 9, is one of the most naked examples of image-crafting I’ve seen in a while. With the conventions of reality TV at her service, the former vice presidential candidate delivers a portrait of herself, her family, and her home state that’s relentless in its messages of wholesomeness and in its justifications of her past.

But every scene, no matter where it’s filmed, inevitably seems to become some kind of Palin political dispatch. She takes full advantage of a bear sighting — staged, no doubt — to recall her Mama Grizzlies platform for “common-sense conservative women,’’ as she put it in a video last summer. Watching a brown bear, she talks about how the mama bear is “protecting her cubs and saying, you know, no one’s gonna mess with my cubs, no one’s gonna mess with the future of the species.’’ Of course, this is not an interview or press conference, and no one is there to ask her how mama bears feel about putting their cubs on reality TV.

Another of the show’s many little set pieces allows Palin to remind us of a parent’s ultimate helplessness when it comes to controlling her daughter’s sex life. A male friend, Andy, is visiting teen daughter Willow. At the bottom of the stairs in the living room, a baby gate keeps toddler Trig from climbing and falling. “It’s not just for Trig,’’ Palin says, when Willow goes upstairs. “It’s for, ‘No boys go upstairs.’ ’’ Eventually, Andy jumps the gate and heads upstairs to join Willow anyway — and something out of “Modern Family’’ becomes a kind of explanation of how daughter Bristol might have evaded her mom’s gaze and gotten pregnant as an unwed teen.

We tend to think of noncompetition reality TV as a place where semi-famous people can make fools of themselves for money and fame. But it’s also a chance for someone like Palin to construct a sophisticated PR film using documentary effects — kind of like an infomercial. “Sarah Palin’s Alaska’’ promises the entertainment value of spying on the notorious Palin family in their natural habitat, but then it also forwards a series of policy stances and image reparations.

There you have it. The Boston Globe, at least, believes that Sarah Palin’s show is more a politically motivated infomercial than a travelogue revealing the beauty and wonder of the great state of Alaska. Was there ever really any doubt?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

El Paso song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SgLrFHs0Jk

WASILLA

(sung to the Marty Robbins song “El Paso”)

Up in the Alaskan town of Wasilla
They had a guv’nor that would make you hurl
She and her husband would ride snow-machina’s
But nobody ever saw her in Juneau

She was a blight and nobody was meaner,
Wicked and evil while casting a spell
Palin was all for politics of hatin’
And her beehive was slathered in hair gel

One night old Johnny McCain came in,
Reeking and stinking of gin
Cursing and swearing,
His dentures were baring
Searching for the queen of
Snowbound Wasilla

We remember he

Searched out this stranger cuz his hopes were fadin’
He did not know that she dressed like a whore
She got a new wardrobe thanks to the RNC
But prep for debating proved too much a chore

All McCain could do was stand there in silence
Knowing his election hopes were all done
Many thoughts raced through John’s mind as he stood there
And each of them involved his using a gun

She could not name the leader of Iran,
Evolution she denied
This sure was no fun,
Her brain was a wood one
Poor Johnny Mac’s
Election hopes had died

Could he send her back

Up to the Alaskan town of Wasilla
Bury her up to her neck in the snow
Sarah Palin proved to be something worthless
The “First Dude” and his wife jokes of the left
She could not name anything she was readin’
Of intelligence, Palin was bereft

Nobody liked her except “Plumber Joe”
And that guy’s brain was in “park”
Her head was hollow
Her rhetoric slimy
This Palin was worse than a
Poisonous dart

They suffered defeat

And poor Sarah was shipped back to Wasilla
But Palin disliked the Governor show
She felt Alaska was pulling her backwards
And she developed a hatred of snow

No longer enamored by northern cowboys
And denied most of her per diem dough
Shouting and shooting, “I can’t let them catch me!”
She quit her job and just “went with the flow”

Something went dreadfully wrong for that heel
Yet she kept on winking her eyes
She kept on lying
And waging her battle
Politics of fear
Yet office denied

But her love for

Tea-Baggers was strong and when they came a callin’
She wrote a fictional book to digest
The grammar was poor and the tone was spiteful
But off to Walmart they went on a quest

She signed the books and collected her bounty
Seldom in her motorcoach did she ride
She flew in a jet till bloggers did spy her
And they exposed just one more of – her lies.

Newt Gingrich Is A Rotten, Stinking Liar

Remember when all the “serious” conservatives belittled President Barack Obama’s appearance on the “The View” last month? They said that an appearance on such a show demeaned the Presidency. Just wondering, but does the appearance on such a show demean a prospective presidential candidate? If so, then Limbaugh, Coulter, Malkin and all the talking heads at Fox News better start criticizing Newt Gingrich.

The philandering and disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House and potential G.O.P. presidential candidate appeared with Barbara, Whoopi and Co. on Tuesday morning. As soon as he took his position at the coffee table, he immediately began lying and misleading the show’s hosts and audience. The man who recently proclaimed that President Obama’s administration “represents as great a threat to America as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union once did”, and overtly criticisized then candidate Obama’s 2008 trip and speech in Germany, now appears to idolize all things German. He especially loves the German health care system.

Gingrich vomited a diatribe on what a truly great nation Germany is and why the United States should emulate its policies. How’s that for “American exceptionalism” and patriotism? What would Gingrich and the Republicans have to say if a Democrat expressed that opinion? When one of the show’s hosts agreed with him and then questioned if whether Germany’s universal health care system should also be applauded, Gingrich started with the lies and misinformation.

To begin, he claimed that Germany has a private health care system which is run by over 350 private insurance companies with minimal government funding, supervision or regulatory authority. He then lied by saying that German citizens privately purchase their own health care insurance policies from these private insurers and that they can change their plans and providers whenever they choose. In essence, Gingrich stated that Germany’s health care system is even more privatized than the American system was prior to this year’s health care reform legislation. In the words of Stephen Colbert, Gingrich’s characterization of Germany’s health care system was devoid of “truthiness”.

The truth is, that Germany has Europe’s oldest universal health care system which dates back to 1883 with changes made thereafter. Currently 85% of the population is covered by a basic health insurance plan provided by statute, which provides a standard level of coverage. The remainder opt for private health insurance, which frequently offers additional benefits. According to the World Health Organization, Germany’s health care system is 77% government-funded and 23% privately funded. Additionally, the government partially reimburses the costs for low-wage workers, whose premiums are capped at a predetermined value. Higher wage earners pay a premium based on their salary. Those higher earners may also opt for private insurance, which is generally more expensive, but whose price may vary based on the individual’s health status.

Germany has a universal multi-payer system with two main types of health insurance, public and private.

Public Insurance

All salaried employees must have a public health insurance. Only public officers, self-employed people and employees with a large income above c. €50,000 (adjusted yearly) may join the private system.

In the public system the premium

  • is set by the Federal Ministry of Health based on a fixed set of covered services as described in the German Social Law (Sozialgesetzbuch – SGB), which limits those services to “economically viable, sufficient, necessary and meaningful services”
  • is not dependent on an individual’s health condition, but a percentage of salaried income (typically 10-15%, depending on the public health insurance company one is in, where half of that is paid by the employer)
  • includes family members of any family members, or “registered member” ( Familienversicherung – i.e. husband/wife and children are free)
  • is a “pay as you go” system – there is no saving for an individual’s higher health costs with rising age or existing conditions.

Private Insurance

In the private system the premium

  • is based on an individual agreement between the insurance company and the individual defining the set of covered services and the percentage of coverage
  • depends on the amount of services chosen and the individual risk and entrance age into the private system
  • is used to build up savings for the rising health costs at higher age (required by law)

A person that opts out of the public health insurance system and gets private health insurance can not go back later to the public system, even if income drops below the level required for private selection. Since private health insurance is usually more expensive than public health insurance one will be required to pay the higher premiums with less income.

In short, the German health care system is much closer to a full government funded and strictly government regulated system than is the health care system in the United States even subsequent to the passage of the health care reform act this year. Newt Gingrich however, does not want you to know this. The reason? Because he will lie and misinform whenever he believes that it will further his failed conservative agenda. It is unfortunate that none of the more liberal hosts of “The View” had a better understanding of the German system so as to call Gingrich on his lies. Indeed, even the conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck was out of her league on the topic as evidenced by her only question to Gingrich which was, “Are you a FaceBook friend of Sarah Palin?” Shallow is as shallow does!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s parody.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work-release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticizing ol’ Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Just A Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme Song

Sarah_television2

This is one of those great television theme songs from the 1970′s when they still had lyrics. Those of you that remember Happy Days are sure to also remember its spinoff, Laverne and Shirley.

Please click on the song link below so as to have much more fun singing along.

Laverne and Shirley theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZmimJGmrUQ

PITBULL AND THE FIRST DUDE

(sung to the TV theme song “Laverne and Shirley”)

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
She heels, she grovels, Exxon Oil Incorporated
She went and blew it

Any foolish chance, she’ll take it
Give her any rule, she’ll break it
If you’re not on her team, screw you
Her way or no way

She’s a political hack now
Just like her pal, Johnny Mac now
And Russia’s always within view
“Drill Baby Drill”  Yay!

When she’s talking it’s a lie
Won’t admit that oil’s exhaustible
Palin once rode the short bus
And we all knew it

Dresses like a curbside ho’ now
Daughter Bristol can’t say “no” now
She’s Joe the Plumber’s dream come true
And she wants it her way, not our way
Take it or just screw you
And she wants it her way, not our way
And there’s the First Dude too
They have no clue

Palins vs. Reality (TV): Round Three – Bristol

First we had Sarah Palin, the former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska dip her toe into the waters of reality television with her TLC show known as “Sarah Palin’s Alaska“. Next, we learned that Palin’s would-be son-in-law, Levi Johnston is shopping his own reality series titled “Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office” in which Johnston will follow in the Naughty Monkey steps of Sarah and run for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Now we hear that Sarah’s daughter Bristol, the former unwed pregnant teen and current unwed twenty-something single mother, will appear as a contestant on next season’s “Dancing With The Stars“. Wow! Remember when Sarah Palin negatively alleged that President Barack Obama was a celebrity and compared him to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton during the 2008 presidential campaign? Did that ever prove to be the pot calling the kettle black (pun intended).

What is it with the Palin clan and their obsession with celebrity status? Really, how many normal families would aspire to have three members star in their own reality television series? Talk about low expectations. This group simply should have stuck together as one unit and promoted a joint sitcom possible titled “The Wasilla Hillbillies“. Heck, even the Gosselin family managed to keep nine out of their ten members on just one TV show.

What is next for the Palins? More reality shows? Maybe “Hey First Dude, Where’s My Car?” wherein Todd Palin will steal and then hide the automobiles of unsuspecting Wasilla residents. Or perhaps, the ever elusive Track might star in “Tracking Track“. Can you folks come up with any other suggestions?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Dancing Queen song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y62OlGvC-bk

DANCING QUEEN

(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)

She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
(Ooooh)
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen

Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing

Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen

She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Will she make it to Round 5?
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen

Levi Johnston Says, “I Want MY MTV”

As we’ve said so many times in the past, sometimes these blog entries and song parodies simply write themselves. Today is one of those instances.

The reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston had allegedly shopped around for a reality television series chronicling their upcoming wedding and early day-to-day marriage life. Their efforts failed however, after the networks decided that they were not entertaining and hence were unmarketable. Their joint dreams of fame were at least temporarily squashed, but Levi had another plan. Only this time, Bristol was not in the mix.

Plan B? Well, it has now been revealed that Johnston, the former nude model, will appear in an R&B music video in which he will play a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it? The actual R&B artist is someone known as Brittani Senser.

This should absolutely send Sarah Palin over the edge. It is clear that the half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is not pleased that her formerly unmarried pregnant teen daughter will now tie the knot with the child’s uneducated and unemployed father. Sarah Palin is a revenge seeker of the highest order (see, Mike Wooten, David Letterman, Joe McGinniss and Lisa Murkowski) and she will be enraged at the fact that the narrative of the song reflects her own previous treatment of Johnston. Remember when she castigated Johnston on Oprah for pursuing a career in porn? It remains to be seen how Sarah “Plain and Stupid” will exact her revenge at this thinly veiled slight by Johnston.

Will she for instance, boycott the wedding? Will she attend the wedding but forget to bring a gift? Will she plan and pay for the newlyweds’ honeymoon trip maybe to North Korea or Iran? Will she hire a ghostwriter to pen a tell-all tome of Johnston? Better yet, perhaps Sarah will utilize a tete-for-tete strategy by means of appearing in her own music video in which she tells the tale of an impregnating stalker of innocent teens. Johnston must be warned that revenge is a dish best served cold.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART II)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said that, “soon I will be on MTV”

Christ you know he loves TV,
His part should earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Tricking Bristol into marrying,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“My mom is to blame,”
“She always has her henchmen on call”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

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