Category Archives: Songs

Palin Tosses Another Magnificent Word Salad

I really do wish that I could stop writing about Sarah Palin and move on to some other sordid Republicans. Problem is, every time I find a new subject, Palin opens her mouth and says something so astonishingly stupid that I feel it must be revealed to the blogosphere.

Case in point. All week conservative talk radio and Fox News have been abuzz about the rapper/poet known as Common being invited to the White House as part of Michele Obama’s White House Music Series. Conservatives from coast to coast are aghast that a rapper, who in his distant past, sang a song about gun-slinging confrontations with the police and his dissatisfaction with George W. Bush as a president could ever be invited to the White House. Of course those conservatives never actually took the time to read all the lines of the poem “Letter To The Law” because if they had, they would have realized that Common was actually telling people to stop the violence and seek peace in their communities.

The Huffington Post and Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show” have pointed out that the folks over at Fox News even conveniently forgot that last year they gleefully interviewed Common and the Fox host said,

“Your music is very positive and you’re known as the conscience rapper. How important is that to you and how important do you think that is to our kids?”

How is that for a network completely reversing itself? You might also recall that Fox News aired an enthusiastic Happy Birthday shout-out to “Cop Killer” rapper Ice-T. on his 52nd birthday. The network also condones the violent gun laden attacks that rocker Ted Nugent levies against Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. And where was the outrage from Fox and the conservatives when George W. Bush honored Johnny Cash despite the fact that he wrote the lyrics, “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die”? Can you sense some hypocrisy?

But what about Sarah Palin? She is of course, not only the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. She is also a Fox News host and here is what she had to say about the White House invite to Common,

“You know, the judgment, it’s just so lacking of class and decency and all that’s good about America with an invite like this.”

and,

“This rapper, we thought that we were to be united under the leader of the free world, Barack Obama, in tamping down racism and inciting violence and cop killing, certainly, and killing a former president.”

Wow, and we thought George W. Bush was the worst orator we had ever heard. What in the wide, wide world of gibberish is Palin attempting to articulate? Sarah Palin should be a chef because she tosses a mean word salad!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Turning Japanese song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

LEARNING PALINESE

(sung to the Vapors song “Turning Japanese”)

She quotes from scripture
Says, “also too”
Limited world-view
Of that I knew
She was so daring to say, “thanks but no thank you”

Helen Keller
Was more profound
Poor Sarah Palin
Knows so few nouns
I reach for tissue every time that she expounds

Her book has pictures, yes lots of pictures
That’s why the worthless thing flew right off the shelf
Had a witch doctor concoct a mixture
That would drive her demons right on back to hell
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

I saw her picture, I saw her picture
And then I threw-up there all over myself
Sarah’s a talking Tea Party fixture
“Refudiating” things she just said herself
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

All sex and thugs and whining woman
All guns, dumb kin, no clue, she’s lost in the dark
She told us that “death panels” were a sure-fire danger
She speaks in tongues and babbles like a psycho ranger
Hope she runs

That’s why I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

(gibberish break)

Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Think so, think so, think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

The Palin’s Have Become The Kardashians

The Kardashian family is the purest example of fame for fame’s sake alone that this great nation of ours can lay claim to. Think of it for a moment. Nobody would have ever heard of any of the Kardashians if O.J. Simpson had not retained Robert Kardashian as part of his “dream team” of legal eagles to defend him in his murder trial. At the time, what was most notable about Kardashian was not his legal expertise, but the fact that he had not practiced law in over 20 years and had allowed his license to practice law to expire. Did he inspire a nation with his legal acumen in the Simpson case? Not so much. He merely sat next to Simpson during the trial while the real lawyers successfully defended the former football star.

Somehow, a star was born. From that point onward anyone with the name Kardashian became an overnight celebrity without having demonstrated any sort of expertise in any field whatsoever. Oldest daughter Kourtney was completely unknown and unaccomplished until she began appearing on television reality shows such as Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Daughter Kim Kardashian followed suit. She too was virtually unknown and unaccomplished until she performed in a widely distributed sex tape with her boyfriend and appeared in the reality television series Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney and Kim Take New York and Dancing with The Stars. Daughter Khloe Kardashian is also only known for the reality television series Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and Khloe and Lamar (along with husband Lamar Odom of the Los Angeles Lakers) as well as for being arrested and jailed for driving under the influence of alcohol. Son Robert, Jr. has done nothing but appear in the series Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Khloe and Lamar.

Despite their nonexistent achievements, nary a day can pass without media attention on at least one of the Kardashians. Is there any other American family that has accomplished so little yet gained so much fame? The answer is a resounding, “Yes”! The Palins of Wasilla Alaska.

Prior to that late summer day in 2008 when she was named as Republican John McCain’s vice presidential running mate, nobody south of Alaska had ever heard of Sarah Palin. That anonymity ended suddenly however, with the folksy and educationally-challenged Palin’s disastrous series of televised interviews and her inept debate performance. Her fiery stump speeches were heavily laden with one-liners but glaringly short on substance. Consequently, she and McCain were defeated soundly in the 2008 election. Nevertheless, she was considered to be physically attractive enough to catch the attention of similarly uneducated conservative men and members of the media such that she became an overnight celebrity sensation.

After losing the election, Sarah Palin began to get a taste for fame and a similar distaste for the serious world of politics. She promptly quit her position as Governor of Alaska after having served only half of one term. Since then she has had her memoir and another book ghost-written and she has embarked on two nationwide book-signing tours. She joined the lucrative speaking circuit and she has teased about a possible run for the presidency. She has joined the employ of Fox News as a commentator and she has plastered the internet tubes with Facebook postings and Twitter tweets about almost every thought that enters her tiny little head. She even appeared in her very own short-lived reality television series. Sarah Palin has become a lucrative media industry unto herself.

Her family has followed suit, also too. The tabloid magazines love to cover every Palin family trial and tribulation, and there are many. There were the drug related arrests of husband Todd’s half-sister and once-and-future son in law Levi Johnston’s mother. There was Levi Johnston’s quick rise and fall from fame as a Playboy model and potential reality television star. There were the profanity-laced Facebook tirades of two of the young Palin daughters. There was the Palin family’s attempts to have Sarah’s former brother-in-law fired as an Alaskan State Trooper. There was the alleged affair between Todd Palin and an Alaskan prostitute. All of this and we have not even mentioned Bristol yet.

Bristol Palin of course, is the one-time unwed pregnant teen daughter and high school drop-out of Sarah and Todd. During her campaign for vice president, Sarah often referred to her as the brave daughter who would soon be married to her longtime boyfriend so that the two of them would raise their child in loving harmony. Indeed, the wedding announcement was made before a televised audience. Of course none of that happened. Shortly after Palin’s campaign collapsed, so did Bristol and Levi’s wedding engagement.

After the break-up, Levi agreed to model for Playboy Magazine and Bristol accepted a high paying job with the Candies Foundation to speak out against teen pregnancy of all things. Only in America. She is getting lucratively paid to tell teens not to do exactly what she did. There have been recent rumors that at the young age of 22, Bristol has had elective plastic surgery. Like her mom, she also announced that she has been paid by a publisher to write a book. Also like her mom, Bristol has taken to the world of reality television series. Last year she appeared on Dancing With The Stars and was surrounded with the ever-present Palin aura of controversy. It was alleged that despite her poor dancing skills and the judges’ low scoring, Bristol was not voted off the show by the audience as the result of a well orchestrated effort by Sarah Palin supporters. As an encore, it was announced yesterday that Bristol will now be appearing in yet another reality series.

CNN reports, “The BIO Channel announced today that they will air 10 half-hour episodes of a currently untitled Bristol Palin/Massey brothers docu-series. The new program will center around Palin and her son Tripp’s move to Los Angeles, where they will live with actor Kyle Massey and his brother Christopher.”  David McKillop, executive vice president of programming for the A&E Network and BIO Channel, said “Bristol is the kind of personality BIO is drawn to. Her personal life has been playing out in the media for several years but this will be the first time she’s opening up her real life, with her son and her friends the Massey Brothers.”

The Palins are now officially the next Kardashians.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Dancing Queen song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y62OlGvC-bk

DANCING QUEEN

(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)

She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
(Ooooh)
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen

Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing

Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen

She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Should have been gone by Round 5?
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen

Palin Pulls Romneyesque Flip-Flop On Foreign Policy

The fact that Sarah Palin has no mind of her own was made evident once again this week. Ever since the late summer of 2008 when she was unwisely chosen by John McCain as his vice presidential running-mate, Palin has been a nation-building war-hawk who favored an ever-growing US military budget and worldwide footprint.

In June of 2008 while discussing the war in Iraq she said,

“Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending soldiers out on a task that is from God. That’s what we have to make sure that we’re praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God’s plan.”

Later in 2009 Sarah Palin had this to say about Afghanistan:

“McChrystal gave the president the advice and said, ‘We need essentially a surge strategy in Afghanistan, so that we can win in Afghanistan. And that means more resources, more troops there.’ It frustrates me and frightens me — and many Americans — that President Obama is dithering around with the decision in Afghanistan.”

Finally, as recently as February 2011, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said this about Libya,

“We should have no illusions. Gaddafi is a brutal killer and Libya – not to mention the world – would be better off if he were out of power. Now is the time to speak out. Speak out for the long-suffering Libyan people. Speak out for the victims of Gaddafi’s terror. NATO and our allies should look at establishing a no-fly zone so Libyan air forces cannot continue slaughtering the Libyan people. We should not be afraid of freedom, especially when it comes to people suffering under a brutal enemy of America. Here’s to freedom from Gaddafi for the people of Libya.”

That was then, however. Sarah Palin has now morphed into an isolationist who disfavors nation-building and an expansive US military. At a poorly attended speaking engagement at Colorado Christian University last Monday, Palin unveiled her foreign policy flip-flop. Politico.com reports that,

” First, Palin said, ‘we should only commit our forces when clear and vital American interests are at stake. Period.’ That point led to her second, dismissing nation-building as a ‘nice idea in theory,’ but not the ‘main purpose’ guiding American foreign policy.

Palin continued down that track by insisting that a president must be able to articulate ‘clearly defined objectives’ before foreign interventions – a standard she has recently said Obama failed to live up to in Libya. As her fourth point, Palin declared that ‘American soldiers must never be put under foreign command.’Palin’s concluding statement deviated somewhat from ideology she had been espousing, as she stated that while ‘sending our armed forces should be our last resort… we will encourage the forces of freedom in the world.’ That last point is somewhat consistent with the non-interventionist ideology Palin has been growing fond of in recent weeks – but also provides her a clever escape clause from her stated theory that has allowed her to criticize Obama for, as she has said, acting too slowly in Libya.

‘We can’t fight every war, we can’t undo every injustice in the world,’ Palin said. Sunday’s attack on bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan was ‘an effective use of force,’ Palin said, unlike the ‘ill-defined’ mission in Libya.”

So let’s get this straight. Sarah Palin is now against the NATO no fly zone that she was in favor of just last February. She is also now against the nation building that she once claimed was “God’s plan”. This change of heart is very reminiscent of Palin’s favoring that famous “bridge to nowhere” before she was later against it. It is also akin to Mitt Romney’s flip-flops on such heartfelt issues as women’s choice, gun rights and universal health care. What could have triggered Palin’s reversal?

Actually, it is quite understandable. You see, Palin’s longtime hawkish neo-conservative foreign relations consulting firm Orion Strategies has cut its ties with her. “The personnel shift carries an ideological charge,” wrote Politico’s Ben Smith. [Scheunemann and Goldfarb of Orion Strategies] crafted for Palin a policy platform and voice reflecting an eagerness to use American force. Foreignpolicy.com adds, that Orion had been spoonfeeding “Palin’s mostly neoconservative stance on a range of foreign policy issues, including her opposition to New START, support for robust defense budgets, criticism of Obama’s handling of the U.S.-Israel relationship, and backing for the surge in Afghanistan.

In contrast, Palin’s new foreign policy consultant, Peter Schweizer, a Hoover Institution fellow who blogs for (moonbat-crazy) Andrew Breitbart’s website Big Peace, has a more libertarian and Tea Party-friendly isolationist approach to foreign policy. Politico.com reports that “Schweizer has articulated a more skeptical view of the use of American force and promotion of democracy abroad.” Inasmuch as Sarah Palin has no independent thoughts of her own regarding either domestic or foreign policy, she happily took on the mindset of her newest psuedo-thinker. Consistency be damned!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Trump/Palin 2012 – “You’re Fired/I Quit”

The American public has spoken loud and clear. They do not want either Sarah Palin or Donald Trump as president. The most recent Quinnipiac University poll reveals that the vast majority of American voters believe that both the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska and the bankrupt billionaire are unacceptable candidates for the highest of elected offices.

A whopping 58% of those polled said they would never vote for Palin or Trump. Ouch! That is going to leave a mark. Peter Brown, the Assistant Director of the Quinnipiac Polling Institute believes that both reality television hosts have done a disservice to themselves in the manner in which they portray themselves to the public. He said, “Sarah Palin and Donald Trump suffer from the reality that, as our mothers told us, ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression.’”

The breakdown of the poll is as follows. A staggering 91% of Democrats said they would never vote for Sarah Palin along with 58% of Independents and 24% of Republicans who agreed. The numbers were not much better for Trump. A full 81% of Democrats said they would never vote for him along with 58% of Independents and 32% of Republicans who shared that sentiment.

These poor numbers for Palin and Trump are not surprising in light of  the fact that each of them possesses little to no political acumen. This has been demonstrated multiple times by Palin in her gaffe-filled televised interviews and by Trump by means of his “birther” obsession. Additionally, each of their most recent public appearances has only added to the public perception that they are pitiable non-factors in the serious world of politics. Donald Trump was made a laughingstock by President Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and Sarah Palin was photographed in a food-stained outfit and giant clown shoes at the same event.

 

Americans have decided that neither Palin nor Trump are presidential material. But what of the other potential GOP hopefuls? The Quinnipiac poll revealed that Massachusett’s Mitt Romney and Arkansas’ Mike Huckabee are in the best shape. The aforementioned Brown also stated that some of the other potential candidates such as Tim Pawlenty and Mitch Daniels may appeal to voters with the passage of time. He said, “Many of the relative unknowns could have large upsides if they can get out their messages, since they will not have to erase a bad first impression. It is always easier to make a good first impression than to change an existing negative one.”

The initial negative impression will prove to be the downfall of Caribou Barbie and The Donald. Misery loves company, so perhaps Palin and Trump should consider running as a team under the banner of the Tea Party. The bumper stickers could read: “Trump/Palin – You’re Fired/I Quit”!

CONRATULATIONS TO THOSE PESKY BOSTON BRUINS FOR THEIR GAME 3 WIN OVER THE PHILADELPHIA FLYERS LAST NIGHT! HERE’S HOPING WE CAN GET OUT THE BROOMS ON FRIDAY!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“I Got You Babe” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylGrQVL774k

I GOT YOU BABE

 (sung to the Sonny and Cher song “I Got You Babe”)

[Palin:] They say we’re dumb and we don’t know,
But there’s no doubt that we have lots of dough.
[Trump:] Well, they make fun of my hairdo,
But Sarah P., they call you “Caribou”

[Trump:]  Babe
[Both:] I got you babe. I got you babe

[Palin:]  Those “death panels” I did invent,
You went bankrupt and barely had one cent.
[Trump:]  I guess that’s so, we’ve both been caught,
And now its clear we really don’t know squat.

[Trump:]  Babe
[Both:] I got you babe. I got you babe

[Trump:]  You are the yang to my ying,
You be queen and I’ll be king.
[Palin:]  They say I’m mad, you’re a clown,
That I cannot tell a verb from a noun.

[Palin:]  They all now say that you were wrong,
That “birther” thing will be your last swan-song
[Trump:]  Don’t fret for me, I will be fine,
But you’re show was dumped, you’re not on prime-time

[Trump:]  Babe
[Both:] I got you babe. I got you babe

[Trump:]  You write crib-notes on your hand
[Palin:]  You got Gary Busey canned
[Trump:]  You thought you were “mavericky”
[Palin:]  You cheat like Dick Dastardly
[Trump:]  Your kids run wild every night
[Palin:]  You can’t even keep a wife
[Trump:]  The First Dude is sure to go
[Palin:]  I love to watch your ego grow

[Both:]  I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe

Revisionist Right-Wingers Fail To Mention Obama

If you were to believe the quotes of so many conservative right-wingers, you would think that President Barack Obama had absolutely nothing to do with the May 1, 2011 eradication of 9/11 mastermind terrorist Osama bin Laden. Many members of the GOP, including a good number of presidential hopefuls, have performed amazing acts of linguistic contortion so as to avoid mentioning the fact that President Obama is responsible for ordering the successful mission in which bin Laden was killed. Conservative political pundits have taken the same approach in an attempt to avoid that 800 pond gorilla in the room. These folks somehow praise everybody without even mentioning the current president. With all this revisionism, one might think that the conservatives are a little jealous that a Democratic Party president achieved in 2.5 years what Republican war-hawk George W. Bush could not achieve in over 7 years. Here are some examples of how they are ignoring Barack Obama’s role as Commander in Chief:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN):  “I want to express my deepest gratitude to the men and women of the U.S. military and intelligence community. Their persistence and dedicated service has yielded success in a mission that has gripped our nation since the terrible events of 9/11. Tonight’s news does not bring back the lives of the thousands of innocent people who were killed that day by Osama bin Laden’s horrific plan, and it does not end the threat posed by terrorists, but it is my hope that this is the beginning of the end of Sharia-compliant terrorism.”

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum:  “This is extraordinary news for all freedom loving people of the world, and I commend all those involved for this historic triumph. Americans have waited nearly ten years for the news of Osama bin Laden’s death. And while this is a very significant objective that cannot be minimized, the threat from Jihadism does not die with bin Laden. As we were vigilant in taking him out we need to demonstrate we will continue to be vigilant until the enemy has been subdued.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus:  “Today is a tremendous day for our nation and the world, but most importantly those who lost loved ones on that horrific day,” said Priebus. “Justice was delivered to a ruthless terrorist courtesy of men and women of the United States military. For nearly a decade, literally thousands of American service members, intelligence officers and civilians have made it their mission to capture or kill the mastermind of September 11th. Tonight we honor their work and congratulate them on a job well done.”

Failed 2008 Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee:  “It has taken a long time for this monster to be brought to justice. Welcome to hell, bin Laden. Let us all hope that his demise will serve notice to Islamic radicals the world over that the United States will be relentless in tracking down and terminating those who would inflict terror, mayhem and death on any of our citizens.”

Failed 2008 Candidate For Vice President and Quitting Half-Term Gov. of Alsaka, Sarah Palin:  “Yesterday was a testament to the military’s dedication in relentlessly hunting down an enemy through many years of war, and we thank our president. … We thank President Bush for having made the right calls to set up this victory.”

Radio Host and Drug Addicted Racist Rush Limbaugh: (Sarcastically said) “President Obama – not a single intelligence adviser, not a single national security adviser, not a single military adviser came up with the idea of using Seal Team Six or any of the Special Forces. Our military wanted to go in there and just scorch the Earth leaving no evidence of anything after the mission. But President Obama single-handedly understood what was at stake here. He alone understood the need to get DNA. To prove the death, Obama alone understood the aftermath, alone understood that there would be doubting Thomases if the place was just obliterated and no evidence was to be found.”

Fox News: The Republican propaganda network broadcasted the following headline, “Obama Bin Laden Dead”.

All of this simply proves that there are some really strange ones on the right.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDA33hGFNgQ&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Racist Paul Takes On Confused Trump

Who could have guessed that there would be a second episode of Celebrity Death Match this week? Following immediately upon the heels of yesterday’s feud which featured Glenn Beck and Mike Huckabee, today we have Rand Paul v. Donald Trump.

While stumping in New Hampshire for his father Ron Paul, (the failed 2008 GOP presidential candidate), Paul Jr. took aim at reality television host and bankrupt billionaire Donald Trump. CNN reports that while speaking at a Merrimack County Republican Committee fundraiser on Thursday,  Paul said, “I’ve come to New Hampshire today because I’m very concerned. I want to see the original long-form certificate of Donald Trump’s Republican registration.”

It appears that while The Donald has been busy unsuccessfully questioning Barack Obama’s presidential qualifications, he has shined a spotlight on his own Republican bona fides. First he was unable to produce an official long form copy of his own birth certificate. Next, it was revealed that the China-bashing thug who claims that he knows how to bring manufacturing jobs back to the states, actually has his Donald J. Trump Signature Collection clothing line manufactured in guess where? Yes, China! Finally, Trump’s voting record and campaign contributions to Democratic candidates have also raised issues about his GOP credentials. CNN reported this week that Trump changed his party registration three times over the past 20 years and did not even cast a vote in the 2002 general election.

Little Paul also mentioned in his Granite State speech that Trump has donated thousands of dollars to Democratic majority leader Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada and Democratic Rep. Charlie Rangel of New York in the last election cycle. Paul expressed concern that attention focused on GOP candidates like Trump distracts from important discussions on topics of great concern to conservatives such as the deficit and the economy. He said, “Let’s look to Republicans who not only talk the talk but walk the walk.”

ROUND ONE: Rand Paul

Donald Trump however, has the ammunition to fire back at Puny Paul should he choose to do so.

You might recall that Paul is the guy that appeared on national television and stated that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially discriminate. He also said that he disagrees with the prohibition against such racial discrimination as delineated in the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Paul was so surprised by the near-universal condemnation of his position, that the following week he became the first politician in history to abruptly cancel his scheduled appearance on the Sunday morning Meet The Press television program. Yet, his endorsement of racial discrimination is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Rand Paul’s radical beliefs and contradictory statements.

Rand Paul also wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Additionally, Paul has said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments. Furthermore, Paul has declared that elderly, fixed-income Medicare recipients should be subjected to a $ 2,000.00 deductible before receiving benefits.

Rand Paul also has a questionable personal life history. Although he professes to be a devout christian, while a student at Baylor University, Paul belonged to a secret society known as the NoZe Brotherhood. The group’s work often had a specifically anti-Christian tone, as it made fun of the Baptist college’s faith-based orientation and called the Holy Bible “a hoax”. Also while at Baylor, Rand Paul allegedly kidnapped a fellow student, tried to force her to take bong hits, and demanded that she participate in a bizarre ritual involving his God, which he referred to as “Aqua Buddha.”

Crazy stuff, but Rand Paul has also been deceptive as an adult. On June 14, 2010 the Louisville Courier-Journal reported that Paul, who described himself as a “board-certified” ophthalmologist, was not actively certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology. Paul is currently certified by the National Board of Ophthalmology, but that is merely a rival organization founded by Paul himself in 1999 with Paul as president and his wife as vice-president. The National Board of Ophthalmology’s mailing address is a UPS Store in Bowling Green, Kentucky; the organization lacks a website and is not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS).

ROUND TWO: Potentially Donald Trump

DECISION: Tie. They are both tainted losers.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today;s topical song parody.

We’re An American Band song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy-JaDzvlXI

UN-AMERICAN RAND

(sung to the Grand Funk Railroad song “We’re An American Band”)

Out on the road for forty days
Last night in Bowling Green, he was in a haze
Dead-beat con-man was doing his act
Rand Paul is our foe and that’s a natural fact

Had a fight with Reverend King
Doesn’t like the 14th Amendment thing
Likes blacks when they’re out of sight
But not at the lunch counter sitting to his right

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

Hates honest Christians and Obama
Hating Medicare but that’s how he earns dough
He is no good, too far right and he’s Tea Party blight
Rand Paul hurls invectives to stir up a fight

Rand Paul is crazy, he should be banned
He seems to live in a fantasy land
Paul is just a crude Tea Party pawn
But he’s succeeding to bring that party down

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Don’t know a verb from a noun
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Shuns a big smile for a frown
He’s un-American Rand

($ 2,000.00 Medicare deductible break)

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
He don’t know up from down
Let’s kick this bum outta town
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)

Beck And Huckabee: Nazis And Cancer

This week’s episode of Celebrity Death Match features former Arkansas Governor and failed 2008 Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) and moonbat-crazy, soon to be former Fox News host Glenn Beck(enstein).

The feud began when Beck labeled Huckabee as a “progressive” on his radio show because of his forthright support for First Lady Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity initiatives. Leaving aside for the moment the ridiculous notion that somehow fighting obesity can be categorized as “bad” or “progressive”, Beck often compares the term “progressive” to cancer and Nazis. Then again, Beck pretty much compares everything to Nazis.

Mike Huckabee however, was not amused. CNN reports that Huckabee took to his blog to blast Beck in response, saying, “This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a progressive, which he has said is the same as a ‘cancer’ and a ‘Nazi.’ What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews?” Huckabee did not stop there. He went on to write,

“He seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts for his linking so many people and events together to describe a massive global conspiracy for pretty much everything. His ridiculous claim that John McCain and I collaborated and conspired in the 2008 campaign is especially laughable…Beck needs to stick to conspiracies that can’t be so easily de-bunked by facts. Why Beck has decided to aim his overloaded guns on me is beyond me. He ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.”

As we have said so many times in the past, is there anything more entertaining than watching conservatives eat their young?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Palin Publications Are A Poppin’

If you have not had your fill of all things Sarah Palin since she was unwisely selected as the Republican Vice Presidential nominee back in 2008, do not worry. In the very near future at least four Palin books will be released. Unfortunately for the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska, each of the books is likely to cast her in a negative and unflattering light. TheWeek.com describes each of the tomes as follows:

1. The Lies of Sarah Palin: The Untold Story Behind Her Relentless Quest for Power, by Geoffrey Dunn
Dunn, a California-based writer and documentarian, says he was moved to write the book after hearing “troubling” stories from Alaskans about Palin’s life. Dunn focuses on her career in Alaska politics, placing it in the context of a corrupt political culture and the larger tradition of American populism and “demagoguery.” The first book in the queue, it is set for a May 10 release by publisher St. Martin’s Press.

2. Blind Allegiance, by Frank Bailey and Jeanne Devon
Bailey is a disgruntled former top aide to Palin, and Devon is the anti-Palin blogger behind The Mudflats. In a rough copy of the book that leaked online in February, Bailey quotes heavily from unflattering emails written by Palin. But while the book paints Palin as a vindictive, petty, self-obessed lightweight, it also spends lots of time on Alaska politics, potentially limiting its general appeal. After struggling to find a publisher, Bailey signed with Simon & Schuster earlier this month. Blind Allegiance comes out May 24.

3. The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin, by Joe McGinniss
McGinniss, an investigative journalist, infamously moved in next door to the Palins last summer while researching his book. McGinniss calls The Rogue a “startling and penetrating examination of the illusion and reality of Sarah Palin,” and he has “signaled that his book will focus on the mother of all Palin conspiracy theories,” says Kenneth Vogel at Politico: That Palin didn’t really give birth to her youngest child, Trig. McGinniss says that while he personally is “a Trignostic,” his research raised some interesting questions. “But my lips are sealed until September,” when Crown publishes the book, he teases.

4. Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs, by Levi Johnston
“Levi is going to talk about everybody, including Sarah Palin, and the rest of the family,” manager Tank Johnson tells Radar Online. That includes former fiancee Bristol Palin, the mother of their son. Published by Touchtsone, Johnston’s book will also include previously unreleased photos and stories of his intimate, rocky, suddenly public life with the Palins. Will it live up to expectations? “I did get to talk to Johnston off the record at one point,” notes Palin critic Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Beast. “I look forward to the book and hope he tells it exactly like it was.”

Lynnrockets looks forward to the release of all of these books, but one in particular has the potential to be the most damaging to Sarah Palin. Inasmuch as he was truly part of their inner circle, Levi Johnston may have been exposed to the juiciest details of the Palin Family Circus. It remains to be seen however, if he is willing to candidly spill the beans on his once-future wife and in-laws. Each of the Palins has said some pretty nasty things about Johnston. The ball is now in Levi’s court. Will he serve an ace? Let’s hope so.

Please take at a look at my WRKO Boston talk radio-based blog also, too. It can be found here: Kevin’s Blog-A Liberal Dose of Reality.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART IV)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Is your head made of clay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said , “my book is gonna be a good read”

Christ you know Levi’s teasing,
His book will earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Starring in his book is “Baby T”,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“He’s stealing my fame,”
“He really has no talent at all”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Birther-Babies Bounced Out With Their Dirty Bathwater (Updated)

Donald Trump’s continued assertion that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States is serving to fire-up the conservative fringe radicals such as the Tea Party, but it is also beginning to leave an indelible and ugly stain on the Republican Party as a whole. The conspiracy theorists who claim that Obama was born in a foreign nation despite confirmed legal documentation which proves otherwise and despite birth notices published in two Hawaii newspapers in 1961, are collectively known as “Birthers”. These Birthers are the persona non grata of the mainstream GOP because they reflect a certain “tabloid craziness” on the party as a whole. Consequently, most serious Republican candidates try their best to ignore or marginalize the Birthers. Problem is, one very loud and popular reality television host and potential GOP candidate for President has unabashedly joined the Birther movement and dragged into the national spotlight.

The Donald has made the Birther issue his cause celebre. He claims to have personally sent a team of investigators to Hawaii to get to the bottom of things. The bankrupt-billionaire would like nothing more than to to tell the President, “You’re fired!”. He has now proclaimed that the President’s original long form birth certificate is missing. In a recent interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Trump said,

“Well I’ve been told very recently, Anderson, that the birth certificate is missing. I’ve been told that it’s not there or it doesn’t exist. And if that’s the case it’s a big problem. I’d love for him to produce his birth certificate so that you can fight one-on-one. If you look at what he’s doing to fuel prices, you can do a great fight one-on-one, you don’t need this issue.”

Trump refuses to name the source from whom he allegedly learned that the birth certificate is missing and said that he feels bad about the situation, but it is without doubt that he has “gone all in” on the Birther issue. There is no longer an option of backtracking. As he has done so many times in his past, Trump has opened his mouth and said too much already. He now owns the Birther conspiracy and by continuing to portray himself as a serious front-runner for the Republican nomination for President, he has made it a GOP Party issue. If Trump runs, every other Republican candidate will be forced to address the issue.

That is not a happy scenario for the Grand Old Party candidates. By being forced to address the issue, they will be deemed to be wasting time on a fringe topic that has nothing to do with their stated goal of creating jobs and cutting the deficit. If they attempt to marginalize the issue, they face the possibility of a Tea Party backlash at the polls. If they cave-in (as so many of them have in the recent past) to Tea Bagger pressure, they will in turn alienate the more mainstream Republicans and Independents which they need to win the election in 2012. Donald Trump has created a “lose/lose” situation for his party.

You see, the problem with conspiracy theories is that they are usually false or cannot be proven. That is precisely the problem with the Birther theory. First of all, in 2008, the Obama campaign released the official document known as a “certification of live birth” which stated that he was born in Hawaii. That document which has been authenticated as being official is the document which the State of Hawaii issues to persons requesting their birth records. The certificate of live birth also satisfies proof-of-birth requirements for virtually all federal matters. Additionally, several news organizations and fact checking organizations have deemed Obama’s certificate of live birth to be authentic. Finally, CNN has reported that the former director of the Hawaii Department of Health said she has seen the archived original birth certificate in the vault at the department of health.

The Chicago Tribune‘s Clarence Page put it best when describing how the Democrats should deal with the Birther conspiracy. He said,  they shoud “Say nothing at all. Why get in the way of the opposition party when they’re coddling their own kooks?”

UPDATE:

The Obama administration released the President’s long-form birth certificate this morning. The Birthers have now been aborted.

Please take at a look at my WRKO Boston talk radio-based blog also, too. It can be found here: Kevin’s Blog-A Liberal Dose of Reality.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Birthday song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Nz9B1XFio

BIRTHERS

(sung to the Beatles song “Birthday”)

They deny his birthplace
Hawaii says “screw ye!”
Racists in the first place
“Stop wasting all of our time”
“We’ve confirmed his birthplace”
Birthers don’t have a clue

Birthers are a part of the Tea Party
They are dumber than Laurel and Hardy
Birthers are a part of the Tea Party

They have all had a chance – Birthers
At a certificate glance – Birthers
Too dumb to zip up their pants – Birthers
Rants!!!

(musical interlude)

Less grey matter than plants – Birthers
Repeating racist rants – Birthers
Too dumb to zip up their pants – Birthers
Rants!!!

They deny his birthplace
Hawaii says “screw ye!”
Racists in the first place
“Stop wasting all of our time”
“We’ve confirmed his birthplace”
Birthers don’t have a clue

A Tale Of Two Governors: DP (Deval Patrick) and SP (Sarah Palin)

Sine the late summer of 2008, Americans have been subjected to a near constant barrage of all things, Sarah Palin. On an almost daily basis, we have been bombarded with her indecipherable diatribes elicited via Fox News, Facebook or Twitter. We have also been exposed to her ridiculous catch-phrases such as “Drill Baby, Drill”, “the lamestream media”, “death panels”, “mama grizzlies” and “Don’t retreat. RELOAD”. All the while, the ex-quitting, former half-term Governor of Alaska has contributed zero specific policy suggestions or provided any credible evidence that her radically conservative tax-cutting and unregulated free-market capitalism rhetoric would have any positive effect on the nation as a whole or its economy.

In contrast, we have Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. Indeed not only has Patrick served his entire first term, but upon his re-election last November, he said that he fully intends to complete his full second term in office. Despite being a close personal friend of President Barack Obama, Patrick has unselfishly flown under the radar of the media spotlight and governed his state quietly to a position of leadership in job creation, employment, health care and education. During his Governorship, Massachusetts has either led the nation or been amongst the top 5 five states in employment, job creation, student achievement in both national testing and graduation at the high school and college levels and in ensuring that 98% of its residents have full health care insurance coverage. He achieved all of that while also balancing his state’s budget and without stripping public unions and employees of their bargained-for rights.

As we have said so many times in the past however, a video clip is worth a thousand a words, so let watch both Sarah Palin and Deval Patrick in action.

Now let’s watch Deval Patrick from just this past week. Lynnrockets apologizes for not having the video appear directly in this post, but simply click on the link below to watch the clip in a new window.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-april-12-2011/deval-patrick

Deval Patrick and his leadership style are just a breath of fresh air.

Note:

Lynnrockets will be in the fair city of Montreal for the next several days enjoying some R & R with a few longtime hockey buddies. The timing could not be better as the Boston Bruins are facing-off against the Montreal Canadiens in the first round of the NHL Playoffs. Problem is, the Canadiens defeated the Bruins by a score of 1-0 last night in Boston. The Boston loss has denied the Bruins home ice advantage and denied Lynnrockets of trash-talking privileges at least until Saturday night. Here is hoping things turn around quickly in the hockey department. In the meantime, please bear (get it?) with us if posting is a little spotty next week. Luckily, we have the best house/dog sitter on the planet.

Please take at a look at my WRKO Boston talk radio-based blog also, too. It can be found here: Kevin’s Blog-A Liberal Dose of Reality.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

My Way song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU

MY WAY

(sung to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”)

And now, the end is near;
To all of you, I’m glad I met ya’
Alaskans, let’s make it clear,
Did I fool you?, Oh yeah, “ya betcha!”

You’ve met Todd, the “First Dude”,
His snowmachine is in the driveway.
Is he drunk? My God, he’s blitzed,
The D.U.I. way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
More than most, I will remember.
My lipstick and my hair-do
But most of all, 4th of November.

Each day since then has been
Another never-ending whine and cry day,
And I’ve been told by Newt Gingrich,
To hit the highway.

Yes, there were times, that now you know
I failed to declare “per diem” dough.
What’s this about “stimulus funds”?
Let’s just cling to, our God and guns.
Oh, I just winked and then I blinked;
And did it my way.

Nicknames, I’ve had a few
There’s “Caribou” and “Barracuda”
Now I’m known as “Sarah Who?”
Cuz Tina Fey is so much cuter.

To think I’m a has been;
And I can’t see – beyond next Friday
Woe, oh woe is me,
I won’t have my day.

For what is a gal, what has she got?
When her career, has gone to pot.
How to appear on nightly news;
When she’s inept at interviews.
She’s still exposed despite those clothes
Please hit the highway!

Yes, hit the highway.

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