Category Archives: Rick Perry

Rick Perry Exits Stage Right…Very Far Right

The insane asylum that is the field of Republican Presidential candidates is losing patients at an increasing rate. By quitting the race, Tim Pawlenty, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann and Jon Huntsman have all demonstrated vast improvement in their ability to separate reality from fantasy. Those candidates have all made substantial progress by finally realizing that it was only fantasy to consider themselves qualified contenders for the presidency. They eventually accepted the reality that they are unelectable clowns and their quitting served to release them from the confines of false illusion.

Yesterday, Rick Perry joined them on the road to recovery. He too has now quit the race.

Rick Perry in fact, may have been the most delusional of all the clowns beneath The Koch Bros. and Tea Baggers Flying Republican Circus Big Top. This Texan’s ten gallon hat was filled with ten gallons of dumb. Take for example, his bizarre stump speech antics in New Hampshire. His speech was slurred. He made crazy faces. He made odd references. Often times he made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. It was sad to see a potential Presidential nominee in this condition. It was even more tragic to think that a person such as this could aspire to occupy the highest office in the United States.

Things got even worse at the Republican debate which followed. Perry made a fool of himself in front of his GOP opponents, the moderators, the live audience and the television audience. The Texas Governor was asked a question about his tax and spending plan — but completely blew the answer by looking like a complete fool. Perry was listing the three Cabinet agencies he wants to abolish — and forgot the third one. Remember how it transpired?

  • Perry:  And I will tell you it is three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the — what’s the third one there? Let’s see…Okay. Commerce, Education, and the —”
  • Romney:  EPA?
  • Perry:  EPA, there you go.
  • Moderator:  Seriously, is EPA the one you are talking about?
  • Perry:  No sir, no, sir. We are talking about the  – agencies of government – EPA needs to be rebuilt.
  • Moderator:  You can’t – you can’t name the third one?
  • Perry:  The third agency of government I would – I would do away with education, the Commerce…Commerce and, let’s see. I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.

It is hard to believe, but things got even worse for Rick Perry after those fumbles. While speaking to a group of students in New Hampshire, Perry misinformed his young audience that the voting age is 21 (it is 18). He also told them to vote on November 12, 2012 which is not the day of the election (it is November 6th). Then, after finishing embarrassingly low in the Iowa Caucuses, he lurched very far to the right and announced that he changed his position on abortion. He was now against abortion in all cases, even in the case of rape or incest.

Another poor showing in the New Hampshire primary sealed Perry’s fate. He has now joined the quitting team of Pawlenty, Cain, Bachmann and Huntsman.

And then there were four. The remaining lunatics are Newt “Open Marriage” Gingrich, Mitt “15%” Romney, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum and Ron “Racist” Paul. As soon as Paul quits, America can rest assured that in 2012 there will be “No New Texans”!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Come Monday song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_lL046m1Is

DUMB PERRY

 (sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday”)

Heading out from ol’ El Paso
For campaignin’ and making dough
Rick’s got his ten-gallon on
He’s got his Colt 45, now he can lock and load

And Romney, he didn’t know
That he’d be trailing his foe
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Yes, Rick Perry is a bummer
Simple talk and lack of brains
And he wants to lead our nation
Some things are hard to explain

His state’s unemployment rolls grow
Its graduation rates are so low
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
An academic haze back in his college days
His degree should have just been denied

Trouble raisin’ money
A hay-chewin’ dumb redneck cow
He’ll get the white vote in Montana
Cuz cowboys love him without a doubt

Rick craves Pennsylvania Ave. scenery
Those gals have nice smellin’ hair
He’ll love bowling on Tuesdays
Not to mention his gubmint health care

San Antonio has worn Rick quite thin
He’ll take care of his oil-drillin’ friends
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Simply Stated, Rick Perry Is Too Stupid To Be President

The Republican Presidential field of candidates is fast becoming the most unqualified and ridiculous bunch of coconuts to ever fall out of the tree. Here is what some pundits are saying. “As a Republican, I am panicking”, said Debra Saunders of the San Francisco Chronicle. Philip Klein of the WashingtonExaminer.com says the field is “incredibly weak” and the candidates are variously “uninspiring, unserious, unprepared, dishonest, unreliable, inexperienced, inconsistent or ideologically malleable,” and not one of them “seems up to the task at hand.” George Will of The Washington Post adds, “has conservatism really come so far, surmounting so many obstacles, to settle, at a moment of economic crisis, for this?”

Consider what we have witnessed even before a single primary vote has been cast. The self-described fiscal conservative Newt Gingrich was discovered to have approximately $1 million in credit charges at upscale jeweler Tiffany & Co. while his campaign is simultaneously approximately $1 million in debt. Ron Paul has advocated that people without health insurance should either rely on the charity of friends or die from lack of medical treatment. Mitt Romney continues to flip-flop by changing his positions on issues on a near daily basis and he believes that “corporations are people.” Rick Santorum believes that the certain result of same sex marriages is sex with dogs. Michele Bachmann believes that the HPV vaccination causes mental retardation and she also believes that her crop of uber-conservative GOP rivals are “frugal socialists.” Herman Cain has more sexual harassment charges levied against him than Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson combined and nobody knows who Jon Huntsman is.

The biggest joke of all however, is Rick Perry. This guy’s ten gallon hat is simply filled with ten gallons of dumb. Take for example, his bizarre stump speech antics last Friday in New Hampshire. His speech was slurred. He made crazy faces. He made odd references. Often times he made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. It was sad to see a potential Presidential nominee in this condition. It was even more tragic to think that a person such as this could aspire to occupy the highest office in the United States.

Things got even worse at the Republican debate which followed. Perry simply made a fool of himself in front of his GOP opponents, the moderators, the live audience and the television audience. The Texas Governor was asked a question about his tax and spending plan — but completely blew the answer by looking like a complete fool. Perry was listing the three Cabinet agencies he wants to abolish — and forgot the third one. Here is how it transpired:

  • Perry:  And I will tell you it is three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the — what’s the third one there? Let’s see…Okay. Commerce, Education, and the —”
  • Romney:  EPA?
  • Perry:  EPA, there you go.
  • Moderator:  Seriously, is EPA the one you are talking about?
  • Perry:  No sir, no, sir. We are talking about the  – agencies of government – EPA needs to be rebuilt.
  • Moderator:  You can’t – you can’t name the third one?
  • Perry:  The third agency of government I would – I would do away with education, the Commerce…Commerce and, let’s see. I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.

Stick a fork in Rick Perry because, like Herman Cain, he is done!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

Stick A Fork In Rick Perry Cuz He’s Done!

Rick Perry's New Hampshire speech.

Anybody who follows politics will tell you that Republican Rick Perry’s Presidential campaign is floundering. The one-time consensus favorite of the GOP base now performs poorly in polls and cannot seem to attract much financial support. His debate performances have been so disastrous that just last week he stated that he may not participate in any others. In short, Rick Perry is in trouble and he knows it.

This gives us all the more reason to question his bizarre stump speech antics last Friday in New Hampshire. His speech was slurred. He made crazy faces. He made odd references. Often times he made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. It was sad to see a potential Presidential nominee in this condition. It was even more tragic to think that a person such as this could aspire to occupy the highest office in the United States. After watching this performance, every Republican primary voter must ask him/herself if he/she would be willing to give a person such as this the most powerful position in the world.

As we have said so many times in the past, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then a video-clip is worth a million words.

The new Hampshire speech was probably Rick Perry’s Howard dean moment. Ah Rick Perry, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Come Monday song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_lL046m1Is

DUMB PERRY

 (sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday”)

Heading out from ol’ El Paso
For campaignin’ and making dough
Rick’s got his ten-gallon on
He’s got his Colt 45, now he can lock and load

And Romney, he didn’t know
That he’d be trailing his foe
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Yes, Rick Perry is a bummer
Simple talk and lack of brains
And he wants to lead our nation
Some things are hard to explain

His state’s unemployment rolls grow
Its graduation rates are so low
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
An academic haze back in his college days
His degree should have just been denied

Trouble raisin’ money
A hay-chewin’ dumb redneck cow
He’ll get the white vote in Montana
Cuz cowboys love him without a doubt

Rick craves Pennsylvania Ave. scenery
Those gals have nice smellin’ hair
He’ll love bowling on Tuesdays
Not to mention his gubmint health care

San Antonio has worn Rick quite thin
He’ll take care of his oil-drillin’ friends
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Rick Perry Finally Gives A Correct Response

The FrankenPerry Monster

Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry appeared on Fox News a/k/a  the GOP Propaganda Network on Tuesday evening and expressed regret over taking part in the Republican debates. When asked if he feels he had made any mistakes in his campaign thus far, Perry responded it was, “probably ever doing one of the debates. All they’re interested in is stirring it up between the candidates instead of really talking about the issues that are important to the American people.”

Finally, an honest answer from Rick Perry. Anyone who has “taken one for the team” and watched the Republican debates knows that Rick Perry is a disaster on stage. He is simply incapable of providing a coherent and on-point answer to any question. He also has a tendency to lose his temper and speak in tongues. Back in September, Fox News’ very own Brit Hume summed it up best when he described one of Perry’s debate performances as follows:

“Perry really did throw-up all over himself at the debate and at a time when he really did need to raise his game, … he did worse…Perry is about one half a step away from total collapse as a candidate…What keeps happening here is these people have a moment, they get into the race as Perry did and zoom to the top and everybody is in love, and then we get a dose of them… and they don’t seem so great.”

Well said Mr. Hume. Very well said.

Rick Perry however, has other things to worry about as his campaign progresses and Americans learn more about him. For instance, his Texas miracle has been called into question. We learned that although Texas has been creating jobs, it leads the nation in jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage and with no benefits. Perry also boasted that the federal govt. is too bloated and it should look to Texas as a model of how to create employment. Unfortunately for Perry, it was then revealed that Texas’ largest employer is actually the federal govt. (Fort Hood). Also despite Texas’ job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.5 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.3 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. On the contrary, Texas has the highest percentage of uninsured residents in the nation.

Speaking of health care, Rick Perry’s adamant opposition to health care reform has also called into question. You see, like flip-flopping Mitt Romney, Perry was also for health care reform before he was against it. The Daily Caller reports that in 1993, while serving as Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Perry praised the efforts of then-first lady Hillary Clinton to reform health care, a precursor to Obama’s health care reform efforts. In a letter to Ms. Clinton he wrote, “I think your efforts in trying to reform the nation’s health care system are most commendable” and “Again, your efforts are worthy, and I hope you will remember this constituency as the task force progresses.” Clinton’s health care proposal was of course, a single payer universal health plan. Ouch! That is going to leave a mark which the Tea Baggers will not miss.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps Rick Perry is the actual Ponzi Scheme that he so often references. It appears that Rick Perry’s day in the sun is coming to an end. Republicans are beginning to chant, “Read My Lips, No New Texans!”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFI-hhndCek

THE RICK PERRY HILLBILLY

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a Gov. named Rick
Just like George Bush, a dumb and backwards hick
The Texans know they earn money for their food
Not cuz Rick’s around, it’s that bubbling crude
(Oil that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea)

As for sick folks Rick just hasn’t got a care
No insurance, all they have is prayer
Washington DC is the place he wants to be
So he threw his name in  for the Presidency
(Crazy that is, Bachmann, Newt Gingrich)

(academic probation break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Rick and all his kin,
He is in New Hampshire raisin’ dough and campaignin’
He doesn’t know squat ‘bout economic policy
But that does not matter to those fools that drink his tea.
(Perry’s a hillbilly, that’s what we’ll call him now, cow polk)
Y’all come back now, y’hear?

Rick Perry Joins The Ranks Of The American History-Challenged GOP

Three Blind Mice

This week while on the campaign stump, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry made a fool of himself while attempting to teach his supporters a little bit about American history. He is not the only Republican Presidential candidate or psuedo-Presidential candidate to do this in recent months.

Last March while campaigning in Manchester, New Hampshire, moonbat-crazy Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann revealed a major gap in her grasp of the history of the American Revolutionary War. She confused her supporters be declaring, “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history.’’

The echo of the “shot heard ’round the world” may have been heard in New Hampshire, but it was, of course, actually fired in Massachusetts as most every school child knows. Bachmann also infamously and incorrectly claimed that our nation’s Founding Fathers fought “tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Of course the reality is that many of the Founding Fathers were actually slave owners and they were long dead by the time slavery was abolished in 1865.

Next we had the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska, Sarah Palin reveal her complete misunderstanding of Paul Revere’s storied “Midnight Ride”. While visiting Boston, Massachusetts on her SaraPAC-funded nationwide family vacation/campaign tour last summer, Palin described to a reporter her understanding of Paul Revere’s ride as follows: “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his  horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Of course, the actual purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”. But hey, this was Sarah Palin talking and nobody ever really expects her to have any idea of what she is talking about.

This leads us directly to Rick Perry. This week he stood on the podium in front of supporters in his home state of Texas and misinformed them about the Boston Tea Party and 1770s colonial Boston by saying,

“There was a time in our nation’s history when people like you — patriots — they had to disguise themselves and sneak around in Boston, if you will, cities up in the Northeast, in the dark. They risked their lives in order to send a message about unfair taxation.”

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, let’s watch Perry in action:

Of course what Perry said is completely false as Matthew Yglesias at ThinkProgress.com points out as follows:

“Contrary to Perry’s assertion, nobody was ‘afraid to walk around in public’ in colonial Boston out of ‘fear that they’d be persecuted’ for objecting to high taxes. What actually happened was that ‘disguised men and others then went on board the tea-ships moored at Griffin’s Wharf, and in the course of three hours they emptied three hundred and forty-two chests of tea into the water of the harbor.’ Apparently not all the tea partiers actually did wear disguises at all, but clearly the point of wearing disguises wasn’t generalized fear of public expression of dissent but specific fear that acts of vandalism were illegal. For all that’s changed in the subsequent 230 years, this aspect of American life is basically the same. People who want to protest peacefully do so freely, people who want to destroy other people’s property are more likely to wear masks.”

Certainly, nobody in his Texas audience had any idea that what Rick Perry said was completely untrue. Such is probably a result of the fact that Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worst state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. Perry can also be excused for his ignorance because he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps a new movie starring Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry should be produced. It could be a comedy about recreating American history to fit the confused Teapublican mindset. It could be titled, “Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer“.

Read my lips, “NO NEW TEXANS!”

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

The Inconvenient Truth About Rick Perry

This pretty much sums it up.

It was just a couple of weeks ago when Texas gov. Rick Perry entered the GOP presidential candidates’ race and skyrocketed to the top of the polls. He was the big man on campus (actually, like George W. Bush he was a male cheerleader in college but that is beside the point). He was the soup of the day. He was the savior of the Republican Party.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the Presidency. People began to look at Rick Parry’s record.

First his Texas miracle was called into question. We learned that although Texas has been creating jobs, it leads the nation in jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage and with no benefits. Perry also boasted that the federal govt. is too bloated and it should look to Texas as a model of how to create employment. Unfortunately for Perry, it was then revealed that Texas’ largest employer is actually the federal govt. (Fort Hood). Also despite Texas’ job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.4 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.6 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. On the contrary, Texas has the highest percentage of uninsured residents in the nation.

Speaking of health care, Rick Perry’s adamant opposition to health care reform was also called into question this week. You see, like flip-flopping Mitt Romney, Perry was also for health care reform before he was against it. The Daily Caller reports that in 1993, while serving as Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Perry praised the efforts of then-first lady Hillary Clinton to reform health care, a precursor to Obama’s health care reform efforts. In a letter to Ms. Clinton he wrote, “I think your efforts in trying to reform the nation’s health care system are most commendable” and “Again, your efforts are worthy, and I hope you will remember this constituency as the task force progresses.” Clinton’s health care proposal was of course, a single payer universal health plan. Ouch! That is going to leave a mark which the Tea Baggers will not miss.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

We also learned this week that Rick Perry supported the liberal Democrat Al Gore in the 1988 Presidential election. Gore of course, is the champion of the global warming movement while Perry denies the science of its existence. This will prove to be a particularly “Inconvenient Truth” for the Perry campaign.

It has not taken long for his Republican challengers to attack Rick Perry in his moment of weakness. Moonbat-crazy Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann supporters have already released the following ad:

It appears that Rick Perry’s day in the sun is coming to an end. Republicans are beginning to chant, “Read My Lips, No New Texans!” Who will be the next Republican savior? Chris Christie? Marco Rubio? Sarah Palin? Jeb Bush? Who knows, perhaps things will come full circle and Donald Trump will re-enter the race.

Stay tuned.

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpPdl0StUVs

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY PERRY WISH-LIST

 (sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Have Yourself A Very Merry Christmas”)

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list
Rick loves the far right
He loves you, if you are Christian, rich and white

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list (merry Perry wish-list)
That’s if you’re not gay (that’s if you’re not gay)
If you are, then simply pray that gay away

Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure

Tea-Baggers will vote for Rick together
Jews are not allowed
Muslims too are barred and for that Rick is proud
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

(Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure)

Souvenirs of us and Rick together
He’s our sacred cow
Rick is our God on earth in the here and now
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

Perry wish-list
Perry wish-list

Message To Rick Perry: “Read My Lips. NO NEW TEXANS” !!!

The next time some crazy Tea Party memberr tries to convince you that Bible-thumping Republican Rick Perry would make a great President because of his job creation record in Texas, return the volley with some hard hitting facts.

Inform the Perry fans that although Texas has led the nation in job creation for the last few years, Texas also leads the nation in producing jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage. Additionally, employment in Texas has been evenly growing for some 20 years which is long before Perry became governor. You should also point out the fact that despite that job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.2 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.6 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. In contrast, Texas ranks 50th in the nation when it comes to the percentage of its residents that have health insurance. Perry claims that the national health care reform law which was enacted in 2010 by President Obama is a jobs killer, but the Massachusetts example proves otherwise.

Furthermore, NPR informs us that Texas’ job growth was also helped by the fact that there is “no corporate income tax, no state income tax, and environmental and other state regulations on Texas businesses are kept to a minimum.” Consequently, many corporations have elected to abandon other states and move to Texas. That may suit the purposes of a Texas governor, but it would not help a President who represents all 50 states. It is not job creation for the nation when jobs are reduced in one state and added in another.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Rick Perry’s lack of critical thought was quite evident just this week when he accused Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke of treason if he chose to increase the nation’s money supply. It is hard to imagine that the head of the Fed could commit treason simply by means of performing the duties of his job which are to adjust the money supply. It is a particularly laughable statement when one considers that it was Rick Perry himself who threatened to commit a treasonous act when he suggested in 2009, that Texas may have to secede from the the United States.

These facts should provide all you fellow Rocketeers with ample ammunition when battling Rick Perry supporters. if you really want to get under their skin, tell them: “Read my lips. NO NEW TEXANS!”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFI-hhndCek

THE RICK PERRY HILLBILLY

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a Gov. named Rick
Just like George Bush, a dumb and backwards hick
The Texans know they earn money for their food
Not cuz Rick’s around, it’s that bubbling crude
(Oil that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea)

As for sick folks Rick just hasn’t got a care
No insurance, all they have is prayer
Washington DC is the place he wants to be
So he threw his name in  for the Presidency
(Crazy that is, Bachmann, Newt Gingrich)

(academic probation break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Rick and all his kin,
He is in New Hampshire raisin’ dough and campaignin’
He doesn’t know squat ‘bout economic policy
But that does not matter to those fools that drink his tea.
(Perry’s a hillbilly, that’s what we’ll call him now, cow polk)
Y’all come back now, y’hear?

Rick Perry Is Now Praying For Attendees At His Failing Prayer Rally

Dear God please sell some tickets!

There is no question that Republican voters are not fired-up about their League of Unextraordinory Gentlemen (and woman) posing as candidates for the 2012 Presidential election. Can you blame them? Just look at the present contenders. Mitt (Flip-Flop) Romney; Newt Blingrich; Tim (Vanilla) Pawlenty; Rick (Man on Dog) Santorum; Michele (Pray the Gay Away) Bachmann; Jon ( I Love Obama) Huntsman; Ron (Dr. No) Paul; Herman (Convert or Kill Infidels) Cain; Gary (Who?) Johnson; Fred (Who?) Karger; Andy (Who?) Martin; Thaddeus (Who?) McCotter; Roy (Who?) Moore and Buddy (Who?) Roemer. Ouch! This group needs some new blood. But who?

Right now the consensus celebrity of the moment is Texas Governor Rick Perry. He is the soup of the day for conservative Teapublicans because of his outspoken disdain for all things Obama, his southern red-neck locale and his discriminatory “Christianity or Bust” agenda of commingling the affairs of church and state. It just might be the last of those characteristics however, which diminishes his chances of nationwide electoral success.

Perry was riding a big wave of national Republican support and then something funny happened on the way to the GOP nomination. Perry announced last month that he was organizing and sponsoring a seven-hour “Christian prayer gathering” at Houston’s Reliant Stadium this Saturday. The event is called “The Response” but non-Christians have been banned from the 71,500 seat stadium. Consequently, Perry has been facing fierce criticism from those who believe he is going too far with mixing church and state and for discriminating against Texans and Americans with alternative religious beliefs.

Perry is also facing non-interest from those with whom he shares an evangelical background. With only 2 days remaining before the event, Perry has only sold about 8,000 tickets. That is a glaring indication of a disastrous lack of enthusiasm for the potential candidate. Moreover, Perry faces even more negative publicity if, as expected, some of the more controversial speaking pastors sermon long and hard about “the homosexual agenda”. The anti-gay message has been losing steam of late not only with independents, but also with middle of the road Republicans. Additionally, any such homophobic rhetoric could be used against Perry by his opponents.

Perry’s event will be hosted by the American Family Association, a 501(c)3 organization that opposes pornography and abortion and describes homosexuality as the product of “a sinful heart.” The group’s website states:

“We believe the core goal of the homosexual movement is to abolish the traditional, Judeo-Christian view of human sexuality, marriage and family.”

The American Family Association is also classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Rick Perry’s association with such a group is remarkable in that it is certain to reflect poorly upon him in the eyes of the national electorate. Then again, perhaps Rick Perry’s “The Response” is just his subtle way of announcing that he has no plans to seek the Republican Presidential nomination after-all.

So, here’s to you Sarah Palin. Our nation’s Tea Party Republicans turn their lonely eyes to you! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpPdl0StUVs

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY PERRY WISH-LIST

 (sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Have Yourself A Very Merry Christmas”)

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list
Rick loves the far right
He loves you, if you are Christian, rich and white

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list (merry Perry wish-list)
That’s if you’re not gay (that’s if you’re not gay)
If you are, then simply pray that gay away

Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure

Tea-Baggers will vote for Rick together
Jews are not allowed
Muslims too are barred and for that Rick is proud
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

(Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure)

Souvenirs of us and Rick together
He’s our sacred cow
Rick is our God on earth in the here and now
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

Perry wish-list
Perry wish-list

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 82

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Don’t Let Facts Get In The Way Of  A Good Lie” features Republican presidential candidate Tim “Good ‘n” Pawlenty. This week Tim Pawlenty said,

Keep in mind, whether it be the Bush tax cuts, the Reagan tax cuts, or other tax cuts, they always produce an increase in revenue. There’s no dispute about that…

Umm Tim, yes there is a dispute about that. As this graph shows, the 1981 Reagan tax cuts and the 2001/2003 Bush tax cuts were both followed by drops in revenue:

THIS JUST IN: Oh No! It was Weiner’s weiner!

BREAKING NEWS:  Prospective GOP presidential candidate and present Texas governor, Rick Perry wants to substantially cut funding for public education in his state to the extent that it may end public education. Few Texans should be surprised that their state wants to remove more financing from public education, since it has been doing so almost every year for the past decade. However, it is a sad commentary of a state that is almost last on the list of states providing quality public education. Hey, a stupid population is sure to vote Republican.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Go Go Gophers” features Minnesota’s moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann and Tim “Good ‘n” Pawlenty. Minnesota has a distinction in this presidential cycle, with two different candidates likely in the race for the Republican nomination. But as a new survey from Public Policy Polling (D) suggests, both former Gov. Tim Pawlenty and Rep. Michele Bachmann would lose their home state to President Obama were they the GOP nominee. So much for home field advantage.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of home field advantage or the lack thereof, the same poll reveals that Barack Obama would crush former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney by a landslide margin of 57%-37% in the Bay State. The Mittwit is now unpopular in both of his home states of Massachusetts and Michigan.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Hypocrisy In Action” features New Jersey’s Republican Gov. Chris Christie. The self-proclaimed belt-tightening fiscal conservative who wants to drastically cut Medicaid eligibility in his state was caught taking a state owned helicopter to his son’s little league game. He only offered to refund the immensely expensive trip after he was caught.

BREAKING NEWS: Following in the footsteps of the buyer’s remorse demonstrated by Minnesotans, voters in Michigan have now initiated recall petitions against Republican Gov. Rick Snyder and 15 Republican legislators. Michigan voters are upset about the draconian emergency manager law, school cuts, the tax on pensions and other issues.

THIS JUST IN:  Fox News Comment of the week. Fox Headline: “Tracy Morgan’s Shocking Alleged Homophobic Rant: I’ll Kill My Son If He Acts Gay”. Fox news Comment: “If he’s serious that makes him a “go” at being a good dad too many parents have failed their children over the years. I’d off mine if he turned out gay. Homosexuality is disgusting, disturbing and wrong on every level. I like his idea.” Wow! How is that for an informed Fox news fan?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Face-Slap Of The Week” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska told the British newspaper The Guardian,

“I am going to Sudan in July and hope to stop in England on the way. I am just hoping Mrs Thatcher is well enough to see me as I so admire her.”

In response, the paper reported that a Margaret Thatcher associate said,

“Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.”

Wow! That is sure to leave a mark!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Carefree Highway song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbWM2whkVq4

WASILLA HIGHWAY

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “Carefree Highway”)

Pickin’ up the pieces of my sweet Alaskan dream
I wonder how “Joe Sixpack” is tonight
Her name was Sarah, she wore rimless glasses on her face
She was Guv and she was quite uptight
Wasilla Highway, let her slip away on you
Wasilla Highway, she’s seen better days
The Sarah Palin blues from her beehive to her shoes
Wasilla Highway, please take her away
Her away on you.

Turnin’ back the pages to the good Ol’ Palinfest
I wonder if she’ll ever be the same
During interviews she only stumbled and then lied
Now all she has is Levi left to blame
Wasilla Highway, poor old Sarah was so lame
Wasilla Highway, she’s seen better days
The Sarah Palin blues induced by mainstream nightly news
Wasilla Highway, just take her away
Her away on you

Searchin’ through the fragments of a career that once was
I wonder if “Joe the Plumber” is still kind
Was it Ross, Levi, Wooten or Diana Palin’s bust
Or some other secret she wants left behind
Wasilla Highway, did she sneak away on you
Wasilla Highway, she’s seen better days
The mornin’ after blues will she turn to cheap-ass booze?
Wasilla Highway, did she sneak away
Sneak away on you

Did she sneak away on you
Wasilla Highway, she’s got no-one left to blame
Wasilla Highway, left without delay
No more nightly news for the Gov with fancy shoes
Wasilla Highway, let her sneak away
Sneak away on you

Seccessionist Perry May Soon Replace Philanderer Gingrich

Philanderer and Secessionist

Lynnrockets is fully aware of the Palin email dump recently performed by the state of Alaska, but will refrain from commenting thereon until they have been fully reviewed. Who knows, there may be nothing “new” to review. We must admit however that a few comments like the one which spoke about verifying baby Trig’s birth date and the withheld email having to deal with “child custody” do peak our curiosity.

Until then, we would like to comment a bit more on the topic of the Gingrich campaign’s mass staff resignation and its possible ramifications.

As you know, earlier this week Newt Gingrich’s hopes for the Republican nomination for president suffered a severe and potentially mortal blow. As many as 16 members of his top echelon of campaign staff quit abruptly because they claimed that their vision of the campaign differed significantly from Gingrich’s vision. The aides also claimed that Gingrich’s present (and 3rd) wife contributed to their decision by injecting herself too forcefully in the campaign. Indeed, the “final straw” was said to be his wife’s insistence that Gingrich take a Mediterranean cruise last week rather than to focus on the campaign.

The most devastating defections were campaign manager Rob Johnson and Dave Carney. You see, Johnson and Carney formally worked for Texas Governor Rick Perry. Many now speculate that Perry may enter the GOP presidential race and his two buddies will now be available to commandeer his campaign. Consequently, Rick Perry may become a viable candidate just as Gingrich fades away like Donald Trump. Republicans however, should not get too excited, as there are many reasons why Perry will face serious scrutiny from mainstream voters.

ThinkProgress.org has provided a list of the top 10 things that Rick Perry does not want voters to know. They are:

(1) PERRY ALLOWED THE EXECUTION OF A LIKELY INNOCENT MAN, THEN IMPEDED AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE MATTER;

(2) PERRY WANTS TO REPEAL THE 16th AND 17th AMENDMENTS, ENDING DIRECT ELECTION OF U.S. SENATORS AND THE FEDERAL INCOME TAX;

(3) PERRY PROPOSED LETTING STATES DROP OUT OF SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICAID;

(4) TEXAS IS THE COUNTRY’S BIGGEST POLLUTER, BUT PERRY SUED THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FOR DISAPPROVING OF THE STATE’S AIR QUALITY STANDARDS;

(5) PERRY DESIGNATED AS “EMERGENCY LEGISLATION” A BILL REQUIRING ALL WOMEN SEEKING ABORTIONS TO HAVE SONOGRAMS FIRST;

(6) PERRY GUTTED CHILDCARE SERVICES EVEN AS TEXAS CHILDHOOD POVERTY HIT 25 PERCENT;

(7) PERRY WAS A STRONG SUPPORTER OF TEXAS’S ANTI-SODOMY LAWS;

(8) PERRY IS A STIMULUS HYPOCRITE WHO LOUDLY CRITICIZED FEDERAL RECOVERY MONEY BUT USED IT TO BALANCE HIS STATE’S BUDGET;

(9) PERRY SAID THAT TEXAS MIGHT HAVE TO SECEDE FROM THE UNITED STATES; and

(10) DESPITE HAVING THE WORST UNINSURED RATE IN THE COUNTRY, PERRY CLAIMS THAT TEXAS HAS “THE BEST HEALTH CARE IN THE COUNTRY”.

For a more thorough discussion of these repulsive policy policy decisions, please read the full Think Progress article here.

In the meantime please enjoy today’s song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune, but to have more fun singing along with the parody.

California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78

CONSERVATIVE DREAMIN’

(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)

All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate

Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray

(hypocrisy break)

Trump he was a clown
(Trump he was a clown)
Gingrich had his day
(Gingrich had his day)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away

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