Category Archives: Mike Huckabee

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 78

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Former U.S. Sen. George Mitchell (a Bowdoin College alum I might add) is resigning as the Obama administration’s Mideast envoy. Mitchell played a key role in Clinton-era negotiations regarding the status of Northern Ireland that resulted in the Good Friday Peace Agreement. This is not good news.

THIS JUST IN:  In the latest AP poll, 60% of respondents said they approved of Barack Obama‘s job performance, compared to 39% who disapproved. That’s the best rating Obama has received since May 2009 when, riding high after his inauguration, 64% of Americans approved of his job performance. This is good news.

BREAKING NEWS:  In other polling news, Public Policy Polling, found Donald Trump garnering only 8 percent of potential Republican primary voters, down from 26 percent who said they would support him if he ran in PPP’s previous survey. That plunge in support was enough to drop him from a solid first place to a tie for fifth place. So much for The Donald and his birther obsession!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Fighting The Good Fight” features Bernie Sanders and Jim McDermott. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) announced this week that he introduced legislation to provide health care for every American through a Medicare-for-all type single-payer system. Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.) filed a companion bill in the House to provide better care for more patients at less cost by eliminating the middle-man role played by private insurance companies that rake off billions of dollars in profits. The twin measures, both called the American Health Security Act of 2011, would provide federal guidelines and strong minimum standards for states to administer single-payer health care programs.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Really Distorted And Creepy Remakes Of School-House Rock” features failed 2008 GOP candidate for President, Mike Huckabee and his “Learn Our History” cartoon series. Have a look:

Sure makes you pine for “Conjunction Junction” doesn’t it?

THIS JUST IN: The Tea Party Patriots are advocating an initiative to pressure public schools into teaching the US Constitution based on the writings of W. Cleon Skousen who has suggested such outlandish things as slaves being a happy bunch of folks. however, informs us that Doug Kendall, President of the Constitutional Accountability Center (a think tank and public interest law firm) is none to happy about this development. He says,

“I defy the Tea Party Patriots to find one credible historian willing to support their view of the Constitution’s history. Before the Tea Party gets to go into school and teach our children about the Constitution, they need to find a tenured professor on the history faculty on one of any of the 50 highest-rated universities in the United States who will vouch for the accuracy of their teachings. To qualify to teach America’s children about the Constitution you need to do more than dress up like James Madison.

The Tea Party Patriots are peddling constitutional gobbledygook masquerading as history. Yet whether it is Tea Party organizations misrepresenting American history, or Tea Party politicians like Rep. Michele Bachmann not knowing what state the battles of Lexington and Concord were fought in, the Tea Party has utterly disqualified itself from serious discussion of our Constitution’s text and history. America’s school boards must flatly reject the Tea Party Patriots’ attempts to muscle their bad history into our children’s classrooms.”

Bravo, Mr. Kendall!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Behaving Badly” features the recently resigned GOP Sen. John Ensign. reports, “Former Sen. John Ensign of Nevada broke federal law, made false statements to the Federal Election Commission and obstructed a Senate Ethics Committee’s investigation into his conduct, the panel said Thursday in a scathing report that sent the matter to the Justice Department for possible prosecution.” Ouch, that is gonna leave a mark!

THIS JUST IN:  Former failed GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) announced last night that he will not run again in 2012. He joins other Republican scaredy-cats Haley Barbour, Marco Rubio, Chris Christy, Jeb Bush, Jim Demint, Bobby Jindal and Sarah Palin.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “I Double Dare You” features New jersey high school student Amy Myers who is is challenging Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) to a debate on civics and the U.S. Constitution. In an open letter to to Bachmann, Myers of Cherry Hill, N.J., said, “I have found quite a few of your statements regarding The Constitution of the United States, the quality of public school education and general U.S. civics matters to be factually incorrect, inaccurately applied or grossly distorted.” “I, Amy Myers, do hereby challenge Representative Michele Bachmann to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics.” I’ll take Myers in this one!

THIS JUST IN:  After President Obama announced that he would not release photos of the slain Osama bin Laden because the terrorist “is not a trophy” and “we (i.e the US) do not need to spike the football” and because it would inflame the Muslim world and endanger our troops, conservative windbag Ann Coulter felt the need to speak up. While appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News (where else?) program, Coulter chastised the President and said, “We paid for it, we ought to be able to see it.” He then went on to insult the president by saying, “he seems to know less about Arabs than, you know, my dog. Certainly, this Irishman from Long Island knows more.” Who in the wide, wide world of Fox News is “the the Irishman from Long island”? He then wondered off into the ridiculous by saying, ” he’s spiking the football from now until Election Day on this. So, don’t talk down to us about your moral superiority, we don’t need a victory lap. That’s beyond us. And Americans can’t handle this? I think Americans just handled what you showed on your program. And if Americans can handle Hillary Clinton’s ankles, they can handle this photo.” Hilary Clinton’s ankles? Really, can this guy ever have a conversation without delving into the inane? Ann Coulter just might be the shallowest man in America.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lola song link:


(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)

I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars

It might be the world’s most unfunny joke
But if he’s a lady then my glasses are broke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why he walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

Well he sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on his eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox he was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

I changed the station
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he

Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women, not some missing link-like Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
he says that her wisdom sells his books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t his good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter

I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
And I do not possess giant, hairy man-hands
Like that Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter


Revisionist Right-Wingers Fail To Mention Obama

If you were to believe the quotes of so many conservative right-wingers, you would think that President Barack Obama had absolutely nothing to do with the May 1, 2011 eradication of 9/11 mastermind terrorist Osama bin Laden. Many members of the GOP, including a good number of presidential hopefuls, have performed amazing acts of linguistic contortion so as to avoid mentioning the fact that President Obama is responsible for ordering the successful mission in which bin Laden was killed. Conservative political pundits have taken the same approach in an attempt to avoid that 800 pond gorilla in the room. These folks somehow praise everybody without even mentioning the current president. With all this revisionism, one might think that the conservatives are a little jealous that a Democratic Party president achieved in 2.5 years what Republican war-hawk George W. Bush could not achieve in over 7 years. Here are some examples of how they are ignoring Barack Obama’s role as Commander in Chief:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN):  “I want to express my deepest gratitude to the men and women of the U.S. military and intelligence community. Their persistence and dedicated service has yielded success in a mission that has gripped our nation since the terrible events of 9/11. Tonight’s news does not bring back the lives of the thousands of innocent people who were killed that day by Osama bin Laden’s horrific plan, and it does not end the threat posed by terrorists, but it is my hope that this is the beginning of the end of Sharia-compliant terrorism.”

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum:  “This is extraordinary news for all freedom loving people of the world, and I commend all those involved for this historic triumph. Americans have waited nearly ten years for the news of Osama bin Laden’s death. And while this is a very significant objective that cannot be minimized, the threat from Jihadism does not die with bin Laden. As we were vigilant in taking him out we need to demonstrate we will continue to be vigilant until the enemy has been subdued.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus:  “Today is a tremendous day for our nation and the world, but most importantly those who lost loved ones on that horrific day,” said Priebus. “Justice was delivered to a ruthless terrorist courtesy of men and women of the United States military. For nearly a decade, literally thousands of American service members, intelligence officers and civilians have made it their mission to capture or kill the mastermind of September 11th. Tonight we honor their work and congratulate them on a job well done.”

Failed 2008 Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee:  “It has taken a long time for this monster to be brought to justice. Welcome to hell, bin Laden. Let us all hope that his demise will serve notice to Islamic radicals the world over that the United States will be relentless in tracking down and terminating those who would inflict terror, mayhem and death on any of our citizens.”

Failed 2008 Candidate For Vice President and Quitting Half-Term Gov. of Alsaka, Sarah Palin:  “Yesterday was a testament to the military’s dedication in relentlessly hunting down an enemy through many years of war, and we thank our president. … We thank President Bush for having made the right calls to set up this victory.”

Radio Host and Drug Addicted Racist Rush Limbaugh: (Sarcastically said) “President Obama – not a single intelligence adviser, not a single national security adviser, not a single military adviser came up with the idea of using Seal Team Six or any of the Special Forces. Our military wanted to go in there and just scorch the Earth leaving no evidence of anything after the mission. But President Obama single-handedly understood what was at stake here. He alone understood the need to get DNA. To prove the death, Obama alone understood the aftermath, alone understood that there would be doubting Thomases if the place was just obliterated and no evidence was to be found.”

Fox News: The Republican propaganda network broadcasted the following headline, “Obama Bin Laden Dead”.

All of this simply proves that there are some really strange ones on the right.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:


(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Beck And Huckabee: Nazis And Cancer

This week’s episode of Celebrity Death Match features former Arkansas Governor and failed 2008 Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) and moonbat-crazy, soon to be former Fox News host Glenn Beck(enstein).

The feud began when Beck labeled Huckabee as a “progressive” on his radio show because of his forthright support for First Lady Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity initiatives. Leaving aside for the moment the ridiculous notion that somehow fighting obesity can be categorized as “bad” or “progressive”, Beck often compares the term “progressive” to cancer and Nazis. Then again, Beck pretty much compares everything to Nazis.

Mike Huckabee however, was not amused. CNN reports that Huckabee took to his blog to blast Beck in response, saying, “This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a progressive, which he has said is the same as a ‘cancer’ and a ‘Nazi.’ What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews?” Huckabee did not stop there. He went on to write,

“He seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts for his linking so many people and events together to describe a massive global conspiracy for pretty much everything. His ridiculous claim that John McCain and I collaborated and conspired in the 2008 campaign is especially laughable…Beck needs to stick to conspiracies that can’t be so easily de-bunked by facts. Why Beck has decided to aim his overloaded guns on me is beyond me. He ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.”

As we have said so many times in the past, is there anything more entertaining than watching conservatives eat their young?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link:


(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 72

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Democrats Are Smarter Than Republicans And Computers” features Rep. Russ Holt (D-NJ), Rep. Bill Cassidy (R-LA) and the IBM-powered supercomputer known as “Watson“. In a game of Jeopardy, the Democrat bested both the computer and the Republican who came in third. The question remains however, why would the Republicans choose somebody from Louisiana in the first place?

THIS JUST IN: Just wondering, but how long do you think it will take for the newly energized million or so union workers of Wisconsin to begin a recall petition against newly elected Teapublican Governor Scott Walker?

BREAKING NEWS: To give you a hint at the answer to the question asked just above, the most recent New York Times/CBS News poll reveals that Americans oppose weakening the bargaining rights of public employee unions by a margin of nearly two to one: 60 percent to 33 percent.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “We Can Only Hope” features Fox News chairman Roger Ailes who allegedly may face an indictment for instructing an employee to lie to the feds in an attempt to protect his BFF Rudolph Giuliani.

BREAKING NEWS: A little known fact has been flying under the radar since January. Moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann‘s Tea Party congressional caucus has been shrinking. The caucus had 52 members in the 111th Congress but only 50 in the 112th Congress. Leave it to wacky Bachmann to drive even the nutty Tea-Baggers away.

THIS JUST IN: We are still waiting for Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) to reveal the identity of his alleged childhood sexual molester to law enforcement agencies. The longer he refuses to identify this deviant, the longer the molester is a potential threat to more children. As the 2012 elections creep closer, Brown must realize that neither Massachusetts Democrats, Independents nor Republicans are likely to support a candidate that enables a child molester to roam freely in the Commonwealth. This story is not going away.

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News Comment of the week. Fox News Headline: Court Clears Delaware Cinema of Racial Bias In Telling Black patrons to Stay Quiet. Reader Comment: The real problem with this country is blacks. And sooner or later we are going to have to deal with it.Train yourselves and your children!!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Making Friends With The Palins” features former failed GOP Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. The former Arkansas governor and possible 2012 Republican presidential candidate criticized the actress Natalie Portman this week on a conservative radio show for being pregnant and unmarried. Huckabee said, “There aren’t really a lot of single moms out there that are making millions of dollars each year by being in a movie. I think it gives a distorted image that not everybody hires nannies and caretakers and nurses. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and would not get healthcare.” I wonder if he is willing to say the same thing about Bristol Palin? Unlike Bristol Palin, Portman attended Harvard University and graduated with a degree in psychology.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s fun statistic. The writes that an analysis of 20 years of politicians’ sex scandals reveals that Republicans have more of them – 34 since 1990, compared with 27 for Democrats. More interesting however, is the finding that Republicans have had more scandals that involved prostitutes, politicians claiming to stand for “family values”, and underage boys; while democrats’ scandals are more likely to involve female staffers, sexual harassment and underage girls. Read into that what you will.

THIS JUST IN: In case you were wondering, AAA reports that the average national price for a gallon of regular gasoline yesterday was $3.493 and rising.

In light of the fact that we are suffering from ever-increasing gasoline prices as the result of the turmoil in the middle-east, Lynnrockets has decided to forego the usual song parody today in favor of a particularly spot-on song by The Kinks from their 1979 Low Budget album. The song is titled “A Gallon of Gas” and it describes the state of affairs during the economic downturn of the mid-to-late 1970’s. As you can see, history does in fact have a way of repeating itself. Please enjoy the following video and song lyrics!

A Gallon Of Gas (The Kinks)

I’ve been waiting for years to buy a brand new cadillac
But now that I’ve got one I want to send it right back
I can’t afford the gas for my luxury limousine
But even if I had the dough no one’s got no gasoline

I went to my local dealer to see if he could set me straight
He said there’s a little gas going but you have to wait
But he offered some red hot speed and some really high grade hash
But a gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere for any amount of cash

I can score you some coke and some grade one grass
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
I’ve got some downers some speed all the drugs that you need
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
I love your body-work, but you’re really no use
How can I drive you when I got no juice?
Because it’s stuck in neutral and my engine’s got no speed
And the highways are deserted
and the air smells unnaturally clean.

It’s got power-assisted overdrive and carpets on the floor,
but it’s parked out front just like a dead dinosaur.
And I’ll be paying off the bank for 45 years or more.
It should go 100 miles an hour,
but it’s never moved away from my door.

Who needs a car and a seven-forty-seven
When you can’t buy a gallon of gas
Who needs a highway, an airport or a jet
When you can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
You can’t buy a gallon of gas

Mike Huckabee(Hound) Is Actually As Stupid As He Looks

If you have any doubt as to the competency of Mike Huckabee, simply remember that Republicans chose the elderly and addle-minded John McCain as their presidential nominee in 2008, rather than  be represented by the former Arkansas governor. Think about that for a moment. More Republicans had confidence in a stuttering, flip-flopping wife-cheater than in the former preacher.

History has a habit of repeating itself and Huckabee is pondering another presidential run in 2012. Problem is, he is still a stupid man. Need evidence of that? Well, while being interviewed by New York radio station WOR on Monday, Huckabee stated that President Barack Obama grew up in Kenya. This was no mere slip of the tongue either. Huckabee went on to describe in detail why Obama’s world view was influenced by his Kenyan upbringing. Of course Obama was actually raised in Hawaii and Indonesia, but Huckabee never lets facts get in the way of a good story. He said,

“I would love to know more. What I know is troubling enough. And one thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, very different than the average American. His perspective as growing up in Kenya with a Kenyan father and grandfather, their view of the Mau Mau Revolution in Kenya is very different than ours because he probably grew up hearing that the British are a bunch of imperialists who persecuted his grandfather.”

Not only is Mike Huckabee misinformed as to where his president grew up, but he also seems to forget that many early Americans also viewed the British as “a bunch of imperialists”. Hence, the American Revolution which he so often references. But what can we expect besides misinformation from a Fox News employee?

Today’s song parody references how the allegedly tough-on-crime former governor granted clemency to Mo Clemmons. You might recall that Clemmons was convicted in 1989 on a string of felony charges including aggravated robbery, burglary and possession of a gun , and sentenced to a jaw-dropping 108 years. He had more than two dozen rule violations while in prison, including citations for fighting in 1998 and 1997, yet Huckabee lobbied for his release. Within a year of his release however, he was back in prison on robbery charges. Huckabee pardoned him once again. Then Clemmons was shot and killed as authorities tried to apprehend him for the shooting deaths of four Washington police officers. Good work Mike!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Oh, Christmas Tree” song link:


(sung to the Christmas song “Oh, Christmas Tree”)

Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
Why did you free Mo Clemmons?
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
It leaves a taste like lemons
In Jail he was locked up real tight
To set him free was not too bright
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
Why did you free Mo Clemmons?

Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
You unleashed a cop killer
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
Your future’s in the chiller
Now they’ll say you are soft on crime
You freed that creep from doing time
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
You unleashed a cop killer

Sarah Palin’s Tuesday Night Bad News Boob-Tube Byte

Just when you thought that there could not possibly be another poor poll showing by Sarah Palin, up pops today’s Rasmussen poll. The poll revealed that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska trails former full-term Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former full-term Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. This is  another troubling sign for Palin as she continues to ponder a presidential campaign run.

In a potential 2012 presidential showdown, Mr. Huckabee and Mr. Obama currently poll at 43 percent, while Mr. Romney leads Mr. Obama by 2 percent. Meanwhile, Ms. Palin trails Mr. Obama 49 percent to 38 percent. The poll was conducted through all of January 2011.

This is just one more nail in the Palin presidential hopes coffin.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Daniel Boone theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “Daniel Boone”)

Sarah P. was a guv Lord above
Lord above

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a lame guv.
But McCain was even lamer,
so should we really blame her, golly gee

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a dumb guv.
But the First Dude was dumber,
so she summoned “Joe the Plumber” to the scene.

From the beehive do on the top of her head
To the spike of her high heeled shoes;
Like a zombie from “Night of the Living Dead”,
She looked so damn confused.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a slick guv.
In an attempt to win her hicks back;
Her speeches addressed “Joe Sixpack’ all the time.

Drivin’ demons out with prayer!
A one-time Wasilla mayor, was she!

(book banning break)

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a big guv.
But her quitting nature’s bigger;
So she pulled the quitting trigger, did she.

She said, “Thanks But No Thanks” and “Drill Baby Drill”
But beyond that had nothin’ to say;
During interviews, she just should have sat still,
Was upstaged by Tina Fey

Sarah P. was a guv.
Was a poor guv.
And she won’t lead our country;
We can all now be Palin-free, can’t we

(Thank goodness we’re free)

What a goon, what a loser
Sarah soon will be a boozer won’t she?

What a goon, what a loser
Palin soon will be a boozer won’t she?

Sarah P. was a guv!

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 66

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

First of all, GO PATRIOTS! De”feet” the JETS!

BREAKING NEWS: In case you have not noticed, President Barack Obama‘s approval rating has climbed steadily in recent weeks to its highest point in nearly a year. According to an Associated Press-GfK poll, 53 percent of Americans surveyed said that they approve of how Obama is doing his job. Obama’s approval was last at 53 percent in early March 2010, before his health care reform bill was passed in its final form. The poll was conducted between January 5th and 10th. No doubt the rating will rise even more after the president’s recent speech in Tucson, Arizona.

THIS JUST IN: In case you are interested here is the most recent list of the 50 states as ranked by gun fatalities per 100,000 residents as provided by the Daily Beast.

#1, Mississippi Gun deaths per 100,000: 18.3 Permissive gun laws: 4th out of 50

#2, Arizona Gun deaths per 100,000: 15 Permissive gun laws: 1st out of 50

#3, Alaska Gun deaths per 100,000: 17.6 Permissive gun laws: 11th out of 50

#4, Arkansas Gun deaths per 100,000: 15.1 Permissive gun laws: 7th out of 50

#5, Louisiana Gun deaths per 100,000: 19.9 Permissive gun laws: 23rd out of 50

#6, New Mexico Gun deaths per 100,000: 15 Permissive gun laws: 6th out of 50

#7, Alabama Gun deaths per 100,000: 17.6 Permissive gun laws: 27th out of 50

#8, Nevada Gun deaths per 100,000: 16.2 Permissive gun laws: 22nd out of 50

#9, Montana Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.5 Permissive gun laws: 10th out of 50

#10, Wyoming Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.5 Permissive gun laws: 8th out of 50

#11, Kentucky Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.4 Permissive gun laws: 5th out of 50

#12, West Virginia Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.8 Permissive gun laws: 25th out of 50

#13, Tennessee Gun deaths per 100,000: 15 Permissive gun laws: 31st out of 50

#14, Oklahoma Gun deaths per 100,000: 13.4 Permissive gun laws: 17th out of 50

#15, Idaho Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.5 Permissive gun laws: 2nd out of 50

#16, Georgia Gun deaths per 100,000: 13.1 Permissive gun laws: 13th out of 50

#17, Missouri Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.9 Permissive gun laws: 12th out of 50

#18, South Carolina Gun deaths per 100,000: 13.4 Permissive gun laws: 20th out of 50

#19, North Carolina Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.3 Permissive gun laws: 28th out of 50

#20, Florida Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.5 Permissive gun laws: 41st out of 50

#21, Kansas Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.5 Permissive gun laws: 14th out of 50

#22, Indiana Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.6 Permissive gun laws: 21st out of 50

#23, Texas Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.7 Permissive gun laws: 32nd out of 50

#24, Michigan Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.9 Permissive gun laws: 39th out of 50

#25, Maryland Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.1 Permissive gun laws: 44th out of 50

#26, Colorado Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.4 Permissive gun laws: 24rd out of 50

#27, Pennsylvania Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.7 Permissive gun laws: 40th out of 50

#28, Virginia Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.7 Permissive gun laws: 35th out of 50

#29, Utah Gun deaths per 100,000: 9.5 Permissive gun laws: 18th out of 50

#30, Vermont Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.4 Permissive gun laws: 3rd out of 50

#31, Oregon Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.4 Permissive gun laws: 30th out of 50

#32, North Dakota Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.9 Permissive gun laws: 15th out of 50

#33, Ohio Gun deaths per 100,000: 9.6 Permissive gun laws: 29th out of 50

#34, Maine Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.1 Permissive gun laws: 9th out of 50

#35, Delaware Gun deaths per 100,000: 9.2 Permissive gun laws: 33rd out of 50

#36, Wisconsin Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.7 Permissive gun laws: 34th out of 50

#37, Nebraska Gun deaths per 100,000: 8 Permissive gun laws: 19th out of 50

#38, South Dakota Gun deaths per 100,000: 6.5 Permissive gun laws: 16th out of 50

#39, Washington Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.5 Permissive gun laws: 37th out of 50

#40, California Gun deaths per 100,000: 9 Permissive gun laws: 50th out of 50

#41, New Hampshire Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.9 Permissive gun laws: 26th out of 50

#42, Minnesota Gun deaths per 100,000: 6.6 Permissive gun laws: 36th out of 50

#43, Illinois Gun deaths per 100,000: 8 Permissive gun laws: 45th out of 50

#44, Iowa Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.3 Permissive gun laws: 38th out of 50

#45, New York Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.1 Permissive gun laws: 43rd out of 50

#46, New Jersey Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.2 Permissive gun laws: 49th out of 50

#47, Connecticut Gun deaths per 100,000: 4.3 Permissive gun laws: 46th out of 50

#48, Rhode Island Gun deaths per 100,000: 3.5 Permissive gun laws: 42nd out of 50

#49, Massachusetts Gun deaths per 100,000: 3.6 Permissive gun laws: 48th out of 50

#50, Hawaii Gun deaths per 100,000: 2.8 Permissive gun laws: 47th out of 50

As you will notice, 17 of the 20 states with the most gun fatalities per-capita are Red (Republican/conservative) states. Conversely, the 11 states with the fewest gun fatalities per-capita are Blue (Democratic/liberal) states. “Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: Remember not too long ago when rap singers were criticized by those on the right for their violent lyrics? Those lyrics, we were told, could inspire violence. Then why are those on the right not as equally aghast at the violent rhetoric and symbolism which is fostered by Sarah Palin (Don’t retreat – RELOAD”, Sharron Angle (2nd Amendment remedies), Glenn Beck (Kill Charlie Rangel with a shovel), Ann “The Man” Coulter (Timothy McVeigh should have bombed the New York Times building) and Mike Huckabee (That’s Obama diving to the floor to avoid gunshots)? Good question?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I Don’t Know Much About History” features Glenn Beck. He criticized the House Republican leadership for its decision not to read the “three fifths of a person” language of the original Constitution which was subsequently replaced through amendment. Beck said,

“Three-fifths clause. African-Americans: three-fifths in the South, three-fifths of a human being. That’s an outrage, unless you know why they put that in there. They put that in there because if slaves in the South were counted as full human beings, they could never abolish slavery. They would never be able to do it. It was a time bomb. Progressives should love that. It was a way to take a step to abolish slavery.”

As is usually the case, Beck could not have been more wrong.University of Pennsylvania history professor Rick Beeman states,

“They put [the three-fifths clause] there because delegates from the Southern states would never have agreed to the Constitution unless some weight was given to their slave populations in the apportionment of representation. They wanted slaves counted 100%, but when they saw that they could not get that, they settled for 3/5. The practical effect of that, far from making easier to abolish slavery, made it more difficult. It gave added weight to southern political power in Congress, it inflated Southern power in the apportioning of electoral votes, which led to a succession of Southern presidents. Ironically, the best thing that could have been done with respect to making it easier to abolish slavery would have been to have given slaves NO weight in the apportioning of representation.”

Glenn Beck never lets the facts get in the way of a good lie.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Why Can’t I Get The Toothpaste Back In The Tube” features former Minnesota Governor Tim “Good &” Pawlenty. The likely Republican candidate for the 2012 presidency told anti-gay radio host Brian Fischer that he we would support reinstating the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” ban on gays in the military. This begs the question, just how could a reinstatement be accomplished? Would the gay soldiers that came out be forced to then go back into the closet? Additionally, would the military brass somehow magically be able to forget the identities of those soldiers that did come out? Please Tim, do tell.

THIS JUST IN: After having come under fire from all quarters this past week for fostering violent rhetoric, the right-wing talking heads can now turn their attention to one of their favorite whipping boards; the French. This week a brawling smoker turned his trans-Atlantic flight from France into something resembling a bar fight and is facing criminal charges. The man was illegally smoking in the rest room and when confronted, he started a fight. After finally being apprehended by federal air marshals the passenger continued to verbally abuse individuals around him, yelling in substance ‘I’m French, f*** you!'” This event will have Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity chirping for days.

BREAKING NEWS: On Friday afternoon Michael Steele stepped down from the chairmanship of the Republican National Committee. Really, was there ever any doubt about that happening? Now Steele will have all the time he needs to spend with lesbian bondage strippers.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Tell Us Something That Wasn’t Obvious” features former President Ronald Reagan. His youngest son Ron Reagan, Jr. revealed in his new book that he believes his father showed signs of Alzheimer’s disease while he was in the White House. In the book titled “My Father at 100,” which is due out next week, Ron Reagan writes, “Three years into his first term as President … I was feeling the first shivers of concern that something beyond mellowing was affecting my father.” It is only a matter of time now before senior members of the G.O.P. and right-wing shock jocks begin undermining Reagan Jr. for having the audacity to speak truthfully about his own father.

BREAKING NEWS: Arizona state and federal law enforcement officials have conclusively proved that killer Jared Loughner is, in fact, a member of the Republican Party. A recently discovered roll of 35mm film contained a photograph of Loughner posing with a 9mm handgun while wearing a red G-string. This is incontrovertible proof that Loughner is a member of the G.O.P. because numerous members of that party have displayed an affinity for being photographed with either firearms or fetish wear. David “Diapers” Vitter and Rudolph “9/11” Giuliani were unavailable for comment.

Rudy "9/11" Giuliani

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link:


(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Fox News: It’s All Fun And Games Until Somebody Gets Killed

The next time you hear some Fox News host or commentator deny that the network engages in hate-speech and calls to violence, or better yet, proclaims that it is the left that primarily fosters an environment of hatred and violence, please send the network a copy of the following article. It originally appeared in a November 10, 2010 piece from Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting (FAIR) and was republished on Monday by


Bill O’Reilly’s recent “joke” about decapitating Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank was only the latest example of a demented Fox News culture that permits on-air personalities to fantasize about assassination and other forms of violence against those deemed enemies of the station, its personalities or their worldview.

During the cable channel’s 2008 election coverage, in what she later called an attempt at humor, Fox News contributor Liz Trotta linked Osama bin Laden to Barack Obama as people who both should be assassinated:

And now we have what some are reading as a suggestion that somebody knock off Osama, uh Obama. Well, both, if we could.

A week before Trotta’s “joke,” Republican primary candidate Mike Huckabee was apologizing for his own Obama assassination quip. Addressing a gathering of the National Rifle Association, Huckabee joked that a loud thud heard backstage during his address was Barack Obama diving to the floor to avoid gun shots. Months later, Huckabee was given his own Fox News show.

With its biggest new star, Glenn Beck, Fox News hired a host well-known for on-air death fantasies–for instance, chattering about killing filmmaker Michael Moore with his bare hands and hoping out loud that Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D.-Ohio) would burn to death. In a Fox News skit in September 2009, Beck portrayed himself poisoning Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

It’s a culture that apparently filters down to Fox News viewers and supporters. Over the years Fox Nation, the Fox News “owned and operated” fan website, has regularly featured comments expressing the desire to see Barack Obama’s assassinated.

Yesterday News Hounds (11/8/10) published a collection of such quotes, some of which can still be read at on the Fox site. Fox Nation purports to be self-policing, to depend on readers to report inappropriate and irresponsible remarks for removal. Apparently presidential assassination fantasies fall short of Fox Nation‘s standards for inappropriate or irresponsible commentary.

Recent examples of these assassination fantasies on Fox Nation include comments calling for President Obama to “get what Kennedy got,” for the CIA to “take this pres down” and a warning to the president that the Koran “ain’t thick enough to stop a .308 round.”

There is some evidence that Fox‘s murder fantasy culture has already helped to spark violent action. Reporting for Media Matters, journalist John Hamilton tells the story of Byron Williams, a Beck devotee who engaged in a shootout that injured two California Highway Patrol officers in July. After his apprehension, Williams told police he’d intended to travel Oakland California to kill people at the offices of the Tides Foundation and the ACLU.

In a jailhouse interview in which he described the right-wing media sources that informed his views, Williams returned again and again to Glenn Beck:

I would have never started watching Fox News if it wasn’t for the fact that Beck was on there. And it was the things that he did, it was the things he exposed that blew my mind.

Among the things Beck did, according to Hamilton, was attack the Tides Foundation in 29 separate Fox News shows in the 18 months leading up to Williams’ foiled mission to Oakland.

Moreover, as the ADL reports, Pittsburgh’s Richard Poplawski was so inspired by Beck’s anti-government conspiracy theories, he reposted to a neo-Nazi website tape of Beck suggesting the government was building concentration camps for dissidents–before he was arrested after a shootout with police that left three officers dead.

If this all wasn’t so deadly serious it would be seriously funny, because O’Reilly has spent years accusing liberal and progressive websites of fomenting hate speech. O’Reilly’s crusade largely targets the comment and open forum sections of such websites, highlighting comments that generally pale in comparison to those broadcast on Fox and posted on Fox Nation. To add to the irony, when O’Reilly is called out for failing to make distinctions between the editorial content and comment sections of these websites, he argues that the groups are responsible for everything on their websites:

Open forum is bull…. You can regulate what’s on your website.

When it comes to hypocrisy and Fox News, you really can’t make this stuff up.

The hostility behind O’Reilly’s creepy Milbank beheading joke was on display when the host appeared to make a veiled threat toward Milbank’s boss in an appearance on another Fox show. Apparently angered that Washington Post editorial page editor Fred Hiatt permitted Milbank to publish columns critical of Fox News, O’Reilly had Fox host Megyn Kelly put a picture of Hiatt up on the screen, and told her audience:

This is the editor, Milbank’s editor, Fred Hiatt. And Fred won’t do anything about Milbank lying in his column. I just want everybody in America to know what the Washington Post has come to. All right, you can take Fred’s picture off. Fred, have a nice weekend, buddy.

(Later in the same appearance, O’Reilly suggested that the host join him in physically assaulting Milbank: “I think you and I should go and beat him up.”)

O’Reilly’s veiled threat toward Hiatt recalls one made in a recent interview with an Australian paper by Fox boss Rupert Murdoch (Australian Financial Review, 11/5/10):

People love Fox News…. We said to the cable operators when we put the price up, we said, do you want a monument to yourself….  Cancel us, you might get your house burnt down.

Perhaps the fish does rot from the head.

SPECIAL NOTICE: Big blizzard up here in Boston. We will continue to update Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off so long as the electricity holds out.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which was inspired by Fox News.

Let ‘Em In song link:


(sung to the Paul McCartney and Wings song “Let ‘Em In”)

Someone’s sniveling on the tube
Somebody’s startin’ to yell
Someone’s sportin’ new boobs
Somebody reeks of hair gel

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah

Someone’s not “fair and balanced”
Somebody’s missing brain cells
Someone’s psyche is imbalanced
Somebody’s wearing pastels

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Yeah ,yeah, yeah, let Fox in

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Van Susteren
Change the channel and let Fox in

(musical interlude)

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Van Susteren
Change the channel and let Fox in

Someone’s talking to Newt Gingrich
Somebody’s starting to shout
Someone called Hillary a bitch
Somebody’s starting to pout

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah ,yeah, let Fox in, let ‘em in now

Doo doo doo doo da doo doo
Doo doo doo da doo da

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Van Susteren
Change the channel and let Fox in

Someone’s sniveling on the tube
Somebody’s startin’ to yell
Someone’s sportin’ new boobs
Somebody reeks of hair gel

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah , yeah , yeah ,yeah ,yeah

Pouting Palin’s Prospects Plummet In Poll Plunge

Smile for the camera!

Her 15 minutes of fame are quickly ticking away. The bloom has come off the rose. Sarah Palin is no longer the “It Girl”. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is spiraling downward towards irrelevancy.

As each week passes the American public is treated to the release of a new national poll which reflects Sarah Palin’s decline. This final week of 2010 is no exception. A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released yesterday reveals that as President Barack Obama’s standing among Democrats soars, Sarah Palin’s standing among Republicans is dropping precipitously. A whopping 78% of Democrats say they want to see Obama at the top of their party’s ticket in 2012, with only 19 percent saying they would prefer someone else as the Democratic presidential nominee. The 19 percent figure is the lowest figure since March, when the question was first asked. In stark contrast to Obama’s support, Palin’s prospects are dimming like those soon to be extinct incandescent light bulbs. Only 49%  of Republicans say that they are likely to support her for the Republican nomination in 2012. CNN reports that that is a huge 18% drop since December of 2008, when over 67% said they were likely to support Palin.

Indeed, Sarah Palin is now a distant fourth even within her own party. The poll reveals that 67% of Republicans now support Mike Huckabee(hound) the former Governor of Arkansas; 59% support former Massachusetts Governor Mitt(wit) Romney: and 54% support the former disgraced Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich. It must be humiliating to Palin to trail that trifecta of trivialism.

Much of the blame for Palin’s decline lies with the Queen of Quit herself. By acting like a Hollywood diva, she has alienated such traditional Republicans (and not coincidentally, Fox News co-workers/contributors) as Karl Rove and Charles Krauthammer. When those two pundits repeatedly appear on Palin’s own network and question her fitness for national office, it is only a matter of time before the station’s mindless, conservative puppet audience begins to follow suit. A good example of her decline in popularity among conservatives was the disappointing sales figures of her most recent ghost-written book as opposed to her earlier ghost-written tome. Additionally, even the masses of poorly-educated, gun-toting, Bible-thumping conservative rednecks must have eventually caught on to the fact that starring in a television reality series is not very Presidential behavior. Her crib-noted hands and penchant for communication via the sophomoric Facebook and Twitter are also viewd as net negatives. In short, Sarah Palin is finally being viewed by conservatives as the unelectable clown that she truly is.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s always popular song parody.

Rawhide song link:


(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Mike Huckabee Envies Sarah Palin (Updated: Last Call)

The Crier and the Liar

UPDATE: Tomorrow is the last day for voting in Boston radio station WRKO’s “Next Great Political Blogger” contest. Internet voting ends Saturday night at 11:59pm EST. Lynnrockets thanks all of for voting. If any of you folks have not yet voted multiple times (and are inclined to do so), please notice that the establishment lights are flashing because it is last call. Please vote here. Vote for “Kevin McCarthy” in the spot next to the photo. Then, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on “Confirm your vote”. You will then be taken to a new page where you will notice the name “Kevin McCarthy” and you must click on the word “Vote”. Once again, I thank you folks for all the help.

Somebody please call the Whaaaaambulence for Mike Huckabee. The whining, sniveling and failed GOP Presidential candidate gave an interview to POLITICO this week in which he cried over the fact that he gets little respect as a 2012 contender for the office. He seems genuinely jealous that the conservative world dissects and analyzes every one of  Sarah Palin’s Facebook posts and Twitter tweets yet ignores most anything he says. He complains…

“I just don’t understand how it is that a person can read these polls day after day and the narrative is constantly everybody but me. Whether I do it {run for President} or not, the fact is that if one looks at the overall body of information that’s available, nobody would be in a better position to take it all the way to November. The polls are consistently favorable, putting me either at the top of every poll or right near it. It’s hard to ignore that, having swum in that water before when I barely registered in those very kinds of polls,”

Huckabee then turned his ire against Sarah Palin. He and the ex-quitting former half-term Governor of Alaska are both paid contributors on the Fox News network. Indeed, Huckabee hosts his very own political show while Palin only makes guest appearances on other programs. But while Huckabee’s show struggles with very low ratings, Palins foolish realty show which airs on TLC garners a much larger audience. Both of them have also recently released books, but Palin’s sales are dwarfing those of Huckabee. The media attention given to Palin irritates Huckabee.

“She’s brought an enormous amount of energy to the party. As to why she seemingly draws ten times the attention, I don’t know. You’re never going to read that. I’m never going to be breaking news because I made a comment on Twitter and Facebook. Why is that? I don’t know.”

The fact that speculation of a Palin run for office is so rampant while speculation of a Huckabee run is so lukewarm is perplexing. After all, Huckabee has more experience and is better qualified for the position. While Palin only lasted half of one term as governor, Huckabee served two full terms in that office. While Palin was number two on the McCain ticket, Huckabee was a 2008 Presidential candidate. Huckabee should also hold a firmer grip on the evangelical vote inasmuch as he was actually a Baptist pastor for over 12 years while Palin has repeatedly switched churches and had demons exorcised from her body. Finally, Huckabee is smarter than Palin. He obtained a bachelor’s degree in only 2 1/2 years at Ouachita Baptist University while Palin required 6 years and 5 colleges to earn her degree.

In short, Huckabee would be a far more electable Republican than Palin, but Palin is the bigger celebrity. This is simply a fact that Huckabee must live with and contend with. He demeans himself however, when he cries publicly about it.


Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Today’s song parody is inspired by Mike Huckabee’s crying.

Rock-A-Bye, Baby lullaby link:


(sung to the lullaby “Rock-A-Bye, Baby”)

Huckabee baby
GOP flop
Everyone knows
He’s easy to mock
Outrage he fakes
With Palin he brawls
But Huckabee baby
Is sure to fall

Mike’s book is lousy
Beyond compare
Palin, he sneers
Gets treated more fair
She has a knack
For book-signing swings
And while Mikey weeps
Sarah Palin sings

From the high rooftop
Huckabee sees
Palin spreads fear
While charging a fee
All the right-wingers
Old, male and white
Are Palin’s sheep
So Mike’s in a plight.